Things you can’t learn at home

I commend Ginny Powell for her decision to “home educate” her daughter (“Home schooling offers some valuable lessons,” @issue, Aug. 11).

Undeniably, there are many distractions and frustrations in a typical school setting for students, teachers, administrators and parents. But I believe that education encompasses much more than Powell suggests. She asks, “What is your child learning?” As a parent of two successful public school graduates, I have some answers.

My two children, one a junior at Davidson College and one entering Rhodes College, attended school in DeKalb County from first grade through graduation, each choosing the rigorous International Baccalaureate Programme at Druid Hills High School, each earning the IB diploma and each graduating in the top 10 percent of their class. Between them they attended Laurel Ridge Elementary School, Kittredge Magnet School, Shamrock Middle School, Chamblee Middle School and, finally, Druid Hills High School.

Difficult people

What did my children learn at school?

They learned to co-exist with a wide range of individuals, behaviors and values. We often discussed the differences between people and their types of behavior: Why did Billy act up in class today? Is he just seeking attention? Do his parents set clear boundaries for him? Do they care? Does he get enough nutrition? Enough sleep? Does he have learning or sensory issues? Do you think Billy needs a friend? Or is he just making trouble? Did his behavior interfere with your learning? Do you or I need to speak to the teacher? By being in class with Billy, my children began to deal with the difficult people in life, and, just as importantly, the people in authority who might help the situation.

My children created their own community within a larger community. They recognized kindred spirits, others who shared a passion for sports, a similar sense of humor, a love of reading and musicals. They knew who was a productive member of a study group. They also learned who to avoid as a negative influence, who was involved in unhealthy or unlawful activities, and who just didn’t want to be at school. Faced with a choice of many peers, they determined who were close and trusted friends, who were nice acquaintances to have and who to walk away from.

Different values

In school, my children strengthened their beliefs and values, especially when challenged or tempted by others. Yes, they went to school with students who used foul language and, yes, the choices they confronted included drugs, alcohol and sex. But with close communication and support from home, my children learned to be aware and smart about their decisions. These issues certainly presented unwelcome disruptions, worrying distractions and serious tests, but they were also opportunities to prepare for the larger world.

Perhaps the most beneficial lesson my children learned is that there are adults beyond family and friends with whom they can form meaningful relationships. Each child consistently had teachers who cared about them as students and individuals, engaging and challenging them academically and personally. We encountered exceptional teachers, some with advanced degrees and long experience, others just starting a teaching career, with a contagious enthusiasm and desire to connect. We also endured uninteresting, uninspired teachers who made learning tedious and frustrating. There were semesters when, as parents, we took a more active role helping our child negotiate the difficulties. These situations were educational: You can’t always depend on another to motivate you, and eventually you may have a tedious job, a frustrating boss or difficult conditions beyond your control.

Distractions, disruptions

Of course, the stated reason children attend school is to gain academic knowledge and proficiency in a variety of subjects. We have been lucky enough to attend some of the schools where, as Powell states, “some education is going on, in some classrooms, for some students.” Amazingly, “between all the distractions” as public school students, my children focused on a very challenging curriculum that emphasized critical thinking and writing, literature, history, economics, sciences, mathematics, philosophy, foreign language, community service and athletics. They studied with commitment, were taught and supported by superior teachers and administrators, and created close bonds with their peers, who were equally determined to learn.

Perhaps one truly can offer learning in “the purest form possible” at home. Personally, I am grateful to the community of teachers, administrators and students for helping my children successfully navigate the “disruptions” and “distractions” of school. Knowing how to learn in a world where obstacles are common, people are sometimes frustrating, and tests are not always fair may be the most valuable kind of knowledge.

> Nancy Asbury lives in DeKalb County.

 DONNA MARIE GRETHEN-TONG / L.A. Times Syndicate