Family, friends help after new mother of triplets has stroke

By Rhonda Cook

The Atlanta Journal-Constitution

Chanda Ross had not seen her three newborn daughters since the day she suffered a massive stroke three weeks after their delivery.

The last time the 37-year-old mother held them was on June 19, in the hours before her stroke. On that day, triplets Jamie, Sydney and Chelsea were tiny, weighing only a few pounds.

But now all three baby girls have more than doubled in weight.They can hold up their heads. They have discovered their hands.

And 5-year-old Cori, Chanda' s first born, has had her first day of kindergarten, a big day her mother was not there to enjoy.

So much has happened in their new lives and the life of her oldest daughter, and Chanda has missed it all.

“I think she’s at the point where she realizes what an uphill battle she has,” said her husband, Dejuan Ross.

Chanda had a mild stroke and a minor heart attack just two days after she and the babies were discharged from the hospital on June 1.She had a debilitating stroke on June 19 and has been in a hospital or a rehab center since.

But on a recent Sunday, all the girls came to a Brookhaven rehabilitation facility for an unannounced visit. It was the first time she had seen her growing girls since early June.

Unable to speak, Chanda couldn’t say what was racing through her mind. First she appeared confused.

Then came a huge smile as one of the triplets was placed in the crook of her left arm and a second was laid against her still-useless right arm. Chanda's mother-in-law stood nearby, holding the third baby close so Chanda could see her.

But as Chanda looked at one baby and then the other, her happiness seemed to melt into sorrow at the realization of how much she had missed in their short lives.

But that realization also may be driving her to get back to her old self. There is much she has to do.

Chanda  must learn to speak again. She can say a few words, but not enough and that is "very frustrating for her," her husband wrote recently in the family's online journal.

Chanda loved roller-skating with Cori at an Alpharetta roller rink, but now she must learn to walk again.

With a law degree from American University in Washington, Chanda could be in court at least four times a week, representing indigent clients in landlord-tenant disputes. Now visits with friends and family are exhausting.

“We’re just working on getting her quality of life back,” said Dejuan, an executive in the regional corporate office for Toyota.

Doctors suspect the condition that caused her stroke stemmed from a problem in the first six weeks of her pregnancy.

Chanda experienced some bleeding, and “the surgeons think there may have been some significant clotting that … caused the stroke,” Dejuan said.

She spent 27 days in ICU at Emory University Hospital, much of it heavily sedated. She spent 20 days in an acute care facility on the campus of Emory University.

The move to her first rehab center was Aug. 15, two months after her stroke.

"It's easier to see her now [than when she was in the hospital] because she is aware," said Nicol Galloway, Chanda's younger sister. " On the flip side of that, we didn’t have her moods."

The online journal updated by Galloway and Dejuan references her sadness and her frustrations with being unable to walk or talk or eat.

"She's sad today," Galloway, who lives in Savannah, said recently.

Chanda kept pointing at the calendar and circling the date until Galloway understood what her sister was trying to say.

"She thought she was going home today," said Galloway, who has adjusted her work schedule so she can be in Atlanta five days at a time on alternate weeks.

Since the babies came home from the hospital, Dejuan's mother, Essie Ross, has taken care of the girls. But she is quickly burning up her 1,200 hours of sick leave and may soon have to return to her state job in Maryland.

Chanda's mother comes from Maryland on the weekends Galloway is not here. She flies to Atlanta using donated frequent flier miles.

Dejuan moves constantly between work, home and the rehab center. He takes Cori to school and visits Chanda at lunch. After work, he helps Cori with her homework and reads to her and gets the triplets ready for the night. And around 10 p.m. or 11 p.m., he is back at the rehab center, where he sits beside his wife's bed until she falls asleep.

"If I could ask for anything, I'd ask for more hours in the day," Dejuan said.

He and Chanda's family have had help from neighbors and friends as well as strangers who learned of the Ross family’s problem. They have inundated the Ross family with meals, babysitting, diapers and formula. The people Dejuan Ross calls "people you're fortunate enough to meet along your journey" also help with feedings or come to the Ross house only to hold the girls.

“It’s been overwhelming,” said Dejuan Ross. “Even today, in this current economy, people have stepped forward. It's not people cutting checks. It's people giving time.”