Georgia school denies use of boy's bathroom to transgender child

By Christian Boone

The Atlanta Journal-Constitution

The father of a 7-year-old born a girl said the second-grader, prohibited from using the boys bathroom at school in McIntosh County, has never fit traditional gender roles.

At 18 months, the child told Tommy Theollyn, 28, "I'm a boy."

The child's father, who gave birth a year before beginning his own gender transition, said he wants school officials in this rural southeast Georgia county to view his son the way the child has always viewed himself.

"I'm fighting to get a second grader back in school," said Theollyn, who pulled his son out of Todd Grant Elementary after his teacher forced the youth to use the girls bathroom.

The 28-year-old Atlanta native on Thursday will present a petition to the McIntosh Board of Education containing roughly 40,000 signatures supporting Theollyn and his son, nicknamed "D."

"My child is transgender; put simply this means he looks like and identifies as a boy, but has the body parts assigned to girls," Theollyn writes in the petition posted Aug. 24 on Change.org. "Forcing him to use a bathroom that does not match his presentation effectively discloses his status as a transgender child and thus endangers him."

D. effectively came out as a boy last year, Theollyn told the Atlanta Journal-Constitution. He even began telling classmates he was trans.

"Last year, we reached a very distinct and definite point when [his son] identified as a boy," said Theollyn, adding D. typically dresses as a boy.

There was little controversy at the time because D. was attending a more liberal private school in Atlanta, his father said. Financial problems forced Theollyn and his son south to McIntosh County: population 14,333.

Theollyn met preemptively with his son's teacher, who said she would accommodate D., allowing him to use the boys facility when it was unoccupied.

After D. was told to use the girls bathroom instead, Theollyn arranged a meeting with McIntosh school superintendent William Hunter,  who threatened to alert the state's Child Protective Services division about the situation. The superintendent did not return calls for comment from the AJC; Theollyn said CPS was never contacted.

"All I'm asking for is a conversation," said Theollyn, adding he understands why people may have a difficult time accepting his son's situation. "I'm not offended that people are concerned about the welfare of my child. Their questions are valid."

Theollyn said he has taken D. to a child psychologist and pediatricians who verified his son has reached his own conclusions about his gender identity.

"We sought help as a family to find out what we should do, how we should handle this," he said. "People should know I'm not the one who told him he's trans. That came from him."

The American Psychological Association advises parents of "gender-atypical" children to work with schools to address their needs and ensure their safety.

"In most cases it is not helpful to simply force the child to act in a more gender-typical way," the APA said.

Theollyn said he's talked with other parents of trans children who've faced similar problems, though overall more people are understanding of the challenges those kids face.

"Things seem to be changing," Theollyn said. "Kids are coming out younger and they're being heard earlier."

But he acknowledges McIntosh County may not be as open to transgender persons as, say, San Francisco or Atlanta.

"This is Step 1," Theollyn said. "The next step will be to take on issues of bullying that will inevitably arise."

D. understands the situation, said his father.

"I'd say he's pretty well-aware," Theollyn said. "He talks intelligently about it."

Mostly, "he just wants to go to school and be safe," he said.