There’s nowhere to hide in today’s wired world

When he heard three days ago that South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford had disappeared, Gerry Lane told his office manager, “He’s probably out with his girlfriend.”

Lane, a Buckhead-based marriage counselor, knows the lengths people will go to for an extramarital affair.

He also knows it’s nearly impossible to conceal an affair in today’s high-tech world, even if you’re not a governor with a staff, a security detail and a curious press corps.

“It’s all on the cellphones, the e-mails and the text messages,” Lane said. “Just about every spouse who comes in, when there’s been an affair, has figured it out through one of those means.

“People don’t need detectives anymore,” he added. “They just need to get the e-mail password, and spouses are very good at finding that out.”

The age of instant accessibility also makes it harder to go off the grid. For many, it’s highly unususal to be out of touch with family or friends any longer than a movie, a jog or a plane trip.

Sanford told his staff he was going hiking on the Appalachian Trail, but his story began to unravel when a mobile telephone tower in Atlanta picked up his signal.

For private citizens, disappearing has “definitely become more difficult,” said Cartersville-based private investigator Traici Sexton, a former bounty hunter.

“There are always new databases opening, more availability to get different information, new ways of doing things through cellphones,” she said.

“Even having your cellphone, that’s a locator.”

To stay under the radar, Sexton said, a person would have to forgo credit cards, ATM cards and a cellphone and avoid contacting family, friends or co-workers.

That’s just for starters.

“If I get one little piece of information, like a cellphone number, you’re a goner,” she said.

Tracking people down, whether they’re hiding or not, is a much different game than it was when Kamal Shabazz became a private investigator 13 years ago. It’s a lot less legwork and a lot more click-work, thanks to online databases and social networking sites.

“There’s always a trail,” said Shabazz, based in downtown Atlanta. “If you’re going to run now, you’ve got to be a lot more careful.”

Before Sanford confessed his affair, some thought he just needed time to clear his head: Was he merely trying to unplug?

One author says technology enables people to make connections, but they’re not deep connections.

“It’s just something we’re doing to fill the time,” said Nancy Whitney-Reiter, author of “Unplugged: How to Disconnect from the Rat Race, Have an Existential Crisis, and Find Meaning and Fulfillment.”

“We leave without our cellphone and it’s a major tragedy.”

The pressure to be plugged in, and to broadcast what you’re up to, is immense.

“Employers are starting to expect you to be available 24/7,” Whitney-Reiter said.

“You can’t just disappear. It’s tempting, but that’s really not realistic – not for the average Joe and certainly not for a public figure.”