With the struggling economy and lean corporate budgets, company leaders may be tempted to pull the plug on business lunches.

"That would be a big mistake," warns Robin Jay, a Las Vegas sales expert and motivational speaker, who wrote "The Art of the Business Lunch: Building Relationships Between 12 and 2," based on her previous experiences in media advertising sales. "I've probably hosted about 4,000 client lunches now, and it caused my sales to increase by more than 2,000 percent."

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Andrew Dietz (right), managing partner of Creative Growth Group, meets at the 191 Club in Atlanta with attorney J. Martin Lett for a business lunch. 'Enhancing your personal brand is best accomplished face-to-face and over a meal,' Dietz said.

LEITA COWART/Special (ENLARGE)

'A business meal is not about the food. It's about the greater level of intimacy that the breaking of bread together brings about. The point is to get people out of the office and into a setting more amenable to friendly dialogue.' - Andrew Dietz, Managing partner, Creative Growth Group

LEITA COWART/Special (ENLARGE)

Rhonda Hudson, executive director of The Treasure Box School of Etiquette, says that, if you're someone's guest at a business lunch, you should watch for clues from him or her about what to order and what topics to discuss. 'Keep the conversation upbeat, and avoid controversial subjects like religion and politics,' she said. 'Follow the host's lead in conversation. If he's talking hobbies, don't switch the subject and ask about that report you turned in.'

Special (ENLARGE)

Robin Jay

Now Jay trains people on how to socialize with clients. The business meal is the best opportunity to build solid business relationships, she said.

"An outside sales trainer can pump up a sales force and spike sales for the next 90 to 120 days, but the buzz doesn't last, so you get peaks and valleys," Jay said. "When you spend face time with clients over a meal, people are more relaxed. They let their guard down, and you can get to know them better and form stronger bonds.

"The added benefit is that they'll introduce you to their circle of friends. It's like dropping a pebble into a pond: You get endless ripples."

"A business meal is not about the food," said Andrew Dietz, managing partner of Creative Growth Group, an Atlanta consulting firm that helps companies develop client relationships and increase revenue. "It's about the greater level of intimacy that the breaking of bread together brings about. The point is to get people out of the office and into a setting more amenable to friendly dialogue."

Why? Because people do business with and hire others based on "their capability and their likeability," he said.

For many companies, doing business over lunch is a core strategy.

"It's an investment worth making, because it gives you a unique opportunity to demonstrate you and your company's capability and likeability," Dietz said. "Enhancing your personal brand is best accomplished face-to-face and over a meal."

If budgets are tight, a company may suggest meeting for coffee or breakfast or going to a more affordable restaurant.

"Different meals work best for different clients or groups," he said.

Breakfast may be an easier commitment for a new client. Reserve dinner, which is more formal and eats into people's family time, for long-standing customers.

To make the most of a business meal, the host should consider both the dining experience and the nature of the conversation, Dietz said.

Etiquette counts

"Basically, people do business with people they like, and knowing good business etiquette is important for relationship management," said Rhonda Hudson, etiquette consultant and executive director of The Treasure Box School of Etiquette in Atlanta. She helps executives and students polish their images.

Hudson knows that being confident and appropriate with customers and co-workers in all settings is valued in the working world.

"It's paramount that you know how to conduct yourself in social business situations," she said. "Once you understand the rules, practice can help you develop that sense of confidence."

To start, choose an appropriate location.

"Choose a restaurant where the food and service are consistently good and where you can have a conversation," Dietz said.

This might be a private club where you are treated with respect or a trendy restaurant where movers and shakers go — whatever will help you showcase your brand.

Jay suggests making it close to the client's office.

"The price is important. If the lunch costs more than someone's car payment, she may be uncomfortable," Jay said. If it costs more than your expense account will cover, you'll be uncomfortable.

"The venue should take credit cards and accept reservations," Jay added. "If you go to a place and can't get a seat, you're not going to impress anyone."

If you're the host, arrive early and greet your guests cordially, Hudson said. "The person who did the inviting always pays. You may want to tell the person he is a guest, to avoid confusion."

One of the biggest mistakes is to invite someone to lunch and stick him or her with the check.

"At a fancy restaurant with multiple courses and utensils, the general rule is to start with the outside utensils and move in," Hudson said.

Remember what mom taught you: Napkins go in the lap, sit up straight, no elbows on the table, and wait until everyone is served before starting to eat, she said.

"Keep the conversation upbeat, and avoid controversial subjects like religion and politics," Hudson added. "Follow the host's lead in conversation. If he's talking hobbies, don't switch the subject and ask about that report you turned in."

Don't assume too much familiarity.

"No one wants to hear that you're cheating on your spouse or hate your boss," Jay said. "Never talk about other people in the industry. It's a small world, and you don't know who your client knows."

Guests usually order first, but it's a good idea to ask the host "what is good here?" You don't have to order that item, but it will tip you off to the appropriate price range.

"That way you can avoid ordering a steak when your host is having a sandwich," Hudson said.

Other mistakes to avoid, she noted: ordering alcohol, unless your host is drinking; asking for a "to-go" box; dominating the conversation; and not treating the wait staff well. Small clues reveal character, and character counts.

Getting down to business

You should have an intentional objective, even if it is only to establish a good working relationship.

When Jay holds seminars, she asks who in the audience was made to feel special in the last 24 hours. Who got a handwritten thank-you note or a compliment from the boss? Most people don't raise their hands.

"Odds are your clients are in the same boat," she tells them. "So make this business lunch about them. Make them feel special."

Dietz advises people to prepare ahead and to form a hypothesis about what would be of value to the client on three levels: his or her company, career and personal life.

"Often, a good way to bridge the gap between personal and professional conversation is to connect the 'DOTS,' " he said.

• "D" stands for "distinct." What is distinct about this individual? "If you don't know, it makes a great topic of conversation. Ask questions about what she does," he said.

• "O" is for "opportunities." What are opportunities in which you could help your clients by supplying the right products, services or people?

• "T" is for "triggers." Ask when it would be helpful to call the client and what information, contacts or services you can provide. If he is looking for an IT manager, could you put him in touch with a recruiter or a candidate from your network? Would he be ready to talk about advertising after the budget is settled?

• "S" stands for "similarities." "Look for affinities — college, where you grew up, family life, personal interests or hobbies. If you can find those, you can build a dialogue at a different level," Dietz said. "The more you talk about those things, the better you're equipped to help the other person and yourself."

A business meal should be an opportunity to build bonds, not to pressure your client.

"Figuratively, you want to be sitting on the same side of the table as your clients," Dietz said. "You're not there to interrogate them or persuade them to do something they don't want to do at a business lunch."

And the most important part of lunch is what happens afterward, he said. Did you really listen and follow up appropriately?

Jay never blindsides a client by bringing an unexpected contract or driving a sale. Sometimes, she doesn't discuss business at all.

She remembers a late Friday lunch at a golf club, where she and a client ordered wine and talked.

"She had just sold her home and bought another one and just needed to relax," Jay said. "Later, when her company cut the advertising budget, she didn't cut us, because, as she told me, 'you always take me to lunch.' It's such an important aspect of business."

The lunch interview

If a hiring manager invites you to lunch, that's a good sign. Companies are willing to spend time and money only on candidates that really interest them, Dietz said.

"To make a successful hire, managers need to look for fit [to the company culture], as well as function," he said. "A meal is a good way to get additional 'fit' feedback."

To Jay, a lunch invitation says that your skills and accomplishments have made the grade.

"Now they are going to raise the bar and see how your social skills stand up," she said. "Lunch could differentiate you from one or two other candidates. This is your time to stand out."

Dress appropriately and mind your manners. Turn off your cellphone.

Don't order anything messy, such as spaghetti, Hudson said. Stick with something easy to eat, because you'll be answering a lot of questions.

Remember that the scrutiny is a two-way street. You are trying to find out whether this organization is a good fit for you, too.

"Try approaching the meal with the idea that you and the interviewer have a shared decision to make about employment," Dietz said. "That will shift your feelings about [who has] power in the situation. You may be able to relax enough so that your likeability shines through."