It's a rare wedding that doesn't use music — before the ceremony, during the ceremony, for the recessional, at the reception. Sacred or secular? DJ, band or both? The decisions can seem endless, and the pitfalls are many.

For instance, don't request the dirty version of a rap song at your reception if one of the in-laws is a pastor, said Fernon Malcolm, aka DJ Swift. He's seen it done.

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TOP 10 FIRST-DANCE SONGS 1. "Amazed," Lonestar 2. "From This Moment On," Shania Twain 3. "At Last," Etta James 4. "Because You Loved Me," Celine Dion 5. "I Cross my Heart," George Strait 6. "It's Your Love," Tim McGraw & Faith Hill 7. "Wonderful Tonight," Eric Clapton 8. "Have I Told You Lately," Rod Stewart or Van Morrison 9. "I Swear," All 4 One 10. "Unchained Melody," Righteous Brothers Source: WeDJ.com

Matters of taste begin with the wedding venue. If the ceremony will be in a church, and you use the church's musicians, song choices may be limited.

Vocalist Tami Giusto and Walter Huff, music director at Morningside Presbyterian Church in Atlanta, recommend several well-known hymns for the processional. Examples would be J. S. Bach's "Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring" or Charles Gounod's "Entreat Me Not to Leave Thee," based on a Bible story involving Ruth and Naomi.

If you're bringing in your own music-makers, you can loosen up a bit with something like the Carpenters' "We've Only Just Begun," Nat King Cole's "Unforgettable" or "The Wedding Song" by Paul Stookey. The Web site www.brightweddingideas

.com also suggests "Waltz of the Flowers" and "The Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairies" from "The Nutcracker" (Tchaikovsky), Mendelssohn's classic "Wedding March" and Beethoven's "Ode to Joy."

For the recessional, the site suggests upbeat, joyous titles such as Handel's "Hallelujah Chorus," "Hawaiian Wedding Song" or James Taylor's "How Sweet It Is (To Be Loved by You)."

Couples also have chosen unconventional exit music, such as "Making Our Dreams Come True," the theme from the sitcom "Laverne & Shirley."

Just make sure what you choose suits the style of the wedding, Giusto said. Make sure it's meaningful to you, that it's not too long (unless you want it that way) and that you've heard the music before.

At reception time, the decision comes down to deejay, band or both.

A band can be more exciting, said Richard Tatgenhorst of the band Moxie and Axtell Entertainment. A DJ can offer more versatility, depending on equipment. Many have thousands of CDs in their collections.

"Folks usually are shopping for price, and that's just wrong," Tatgenhorst said.

This is one case of "you get what you pay for," he said.

Less expensive bands may use inferior equipment, which makes a difference you can hear.

And, it's not necessarily true that you need to hear a band before you book it, he said. Most couples visiting receptions to check out bands don't stay long enough. And the venue may have poor acoustics.

That brings up another tip: Look for a reception site with plenty of fabric in the room. Fabric absorbs sound and enhances the music, Tatgenhorst said. Solid walls are not so acoustically friendly.

Another consideration: Check for liability insurance. Most bands don't have it, Tatgenhorst said, and finding that out too late can ruin a reception.

Couples also should check references, seek friends' recommendations and meet with band members.

"Sometimes you just have to go with your gut feeling," he said.

Tatgenhorst performs as a DJ when his Moxie bandmates — six to 10 musicians and a female vocalist — take breaks. The band performs a variety of styles, including big band, swing, beach music, Motown, and sounds from the 1960s to today.

Moxie charges $3,200 to $5,000 for a four-hour slot, depending on the number of instruments requested and travel time.

DJ Swift's rates run from $400 to $900, depending on lighting, the size of the space, how long he has to work and travel time. He has liability insurance but cautions that many DJs do not.

Swift's company, Four Corners Music Group, is in Ellenwood, near Henry and DeKalb county line. He works within a 100-mile radius.

"The most important thing to consider is the age group, the generations of people that will be there," he said.

Swift recommends budgeting time for special dances, the bouquet and garter tosses and toasts. Make sure each side of the family has equal time. Otherwise, it could get ugly.

He stresses the importance of planning ahead, because some venues may need to be booked two years in advance.

Swift said he needs only about a month's notice to make sure he can accommodate special requests.