Verdict: More like a thud.

By CHRIS HEWITT
St. Paul [Minn.] Pioneer Press

If it were Sunday night and "Arrested Development" wasnÕt on and "Sex and the City" was a repeat and you'd already put together all your puzzles and you were sick of board games and you didn't want to eat the pint of One Sweet Whirled in the fridge because you're still working on the Christmas-cookie weight, it might be worth it to flip the channel and watch a couple of minutes of "The Big Bounce."

It's that sort of low-interest affair, just barely worth the effort of clicking the remote and definitely not worth the effort of going to a theater and shelling out cash. A crime caper - like the smart, snappy TV show "Karen Sisco" but nowhere near as good - "The Big Bounce" entangles Owen Wilson with a bunch of lowlifes trying to get their hands on some dough in Hawaii. You can't miss that it's Hawaii, by the way, since the camera is strapped to a helicopter and zoomed over the surf up to a beach house no less than four times, making "Bounce" look less like a movie than a clip from the Aloha State's multiple-listing service.

Based on a double-crossy novel by Elmore Leonard (as is "Sisco"), "Bounce" has some flavor but no fizz, like ginger ale left out with the top off. A tepid script, lazy homophobia and sluggish pacing rob "Bounce" of its bounce, so that when the big switcheroos are supposed to happen, your reaction is, "What are we switching from? And how come none of it has any impact?"

And how come Owen Wilson is vying for the Eddie Murphy Talented-Guy-Who-Makes-Lousy-Movies award? Wilson has taste and talent - he co-wrote "The Royal Tenenbaums" and "Bottle Rocket" - but it must not occur to him that the movies he acts in, like "I Spy," also reflect on his taste. "The Big Bounce" is packed with talented folks like him, all badly used. (What do they say to Bebe Neuwirth when they offer her these parts: "You know how vile you were in that last role? Just be even viler this time, Bebe").

It's a waste, as is the Hawaiian setting, which is photographed with the same harsh lights they beamed on Charlize Theron in "Monster." It's also a shame, since "Bounce" shares the basic elements of another Elmore Leonard adaptation, the delightful "Get Shorty." But this movie has none of "Get Shorty's" skill or wit. In fact, it's clear that the people who made this movie do not get "Shorty."