Political Insider

By Chris Broe

February 16, 2009 8:58 AM | Link to this

Jay Bookman blogs about the peanut butter scandal, and points to the nine people killed, yet he fails to mention that 9 thousand people die every year from food poisoning. (hundreds of thousands get sick). Bookman couldn’t report on a story if he was holding a microphone and the Hindenburg caught on fire. (“The Germans seem to be violating some open flame ordinance. Details at Eleven”)

Sunday Booze sales would boost the economy because we’d need to buy more television sets after all the drunk football fans threw their beer bottles at the screen when they lose. The only thing that should be banned are the soft plastic beer bottles, cause those don’t break nuthin’.

Have you ever noticed that the plastic beer bottles cost a buck more than the glass? They gotta be kidding me.

I think a Sunday beer etiquette review is in order here: Beer should be drunk from a glass bottle. You should hold your beer bottle with your pinkie extended when you swig. Any belching should be done while pretending to kiss your wife so’s none of the guy’s sensibilities get offended. Pretend to kiss your wife often. Never hold a hot wing and a beer at the same time. Put the beer down, then eat a hot wing. (If someone starts a food fight, you’ll need both hands.) When you want another beer, announce to the group that you’re having another and ask if anyone else wants another beer also. Then make your wife go git it. Wives are forbidden to drink beer, after all, who will drive to get more if you run out? What if the game goes overtime? what if there’s three whole games from noon to midnight? then what? No, your wife needs to remain sober or the whole day is ruined.

It’s funny how quickly we forget beer etiquette without Sunday booze sales.