Home > Political Insider > Archives > 2007 > October > 15 > Entry
DEL.ICIO.USOn why we’re at a loss for words
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Next weekend, a special subset of the Republican Governors Association, convened by chairman Sonny Perdue, will gather at the Ritz-Carlton Lodge at Reynolds Plantation in Greensboro, Ga.
This is part of Perdue’s effort to wrest control of the GOP’s image-reformulation process from national types.
Zell Miller will be there. Newt Gingrich will lead a discussion on health care. The recently unemployed Karl Rove might show up for Sunday lunch.
Four governors from the South and its borders will be there: Perdue of Georgia; Mark Sanford of South Carolina; Charlie Crist of Florida; and Matt Blunt of Missouri.
But alas and alack, we won’t be there. The Georgia press has been barred. The gathering is of no interest to local political reporters, RGA spokesman Chris Schrimpf assured us.
Only a single journalist, from the hallowed and Rupert Murdoch-owned Wall Street Journal, will be admitted, Schrimpf said. And even this reporter will be restricted to the sessions on health care.
No Zell and no Karl for him.
Now, you’d think that this lost opportunity to spend a weekend on the links in east Georgia would upset your working press. We polled the crew here at the Capitol, and it does not. They understand.
A discussion of major national affairs by major national figures requires major national journalists. It can’t be done otherwise.
You see, we don’t just have a water shortage in Georgia. We have a word shortage — and we journalists are on strict rations.
This is why so many articles in this newspaper and other Georgia publications carry the names of two people. Double bylines conserve words — much like showering together saves water.
Now, before you panic, Georgia has a reasonable supply of ordinary, everyday nouns and verbs suitable for describing a bank heist or a pennant race or foot-tapping in a men’s room. As long as we’re careful, there should be plenty to go around.
But Perdue and the RGA understand that what this state lacks are the big, sizable, Sunday-go-to-church words — and the resulting phrases — necessary to discuss important topics such as health care. (Scientists blame soil depletion and the lack of crop rotation. Decades later, we still suffer from the excesses of King Cotton.)
As usual, Newt will bring his well-exercised vocabulary from the suburbs of Washington. Serious words have become so thick around Gingrich’s house that local hunters are set upon them, to thin the ranks. Sonny Perdue has gone to Japan this week, and will come back with cartons of imported dictionaries, just for the occasion.
And that Wall Street Journal reporter? If Delta doesn’t lose them, he’ll bring his supply of big words from New York, checked in three alligator-hide valises with polished brass fittings. He’s promised to drop off any leftovers, as a favor to his less fortunate Georgia cousins.
Comments
By Still Looking
October 15, 2007 3:31 PM | Link to this
Funny old Sunny. He thinks GOP is off message. How about if Sunny faces up to the water and transportation crisis we face in Georgia? Or maybe education and health care? Or maybe economic development in rural and urban Georgia?
By Connie
October 15, 2007 5:23 PM | Link to this
Are the taxpayer paying for this?
By Karen
October 15, 2007 5:27 PM | Link to this
Funny old Sunny, indeed. Or the fact that the “Fish Georgia” tourism initiative had to be canceled because, as DuBose Porter said, “You can’t fry the mercury out of fish.”
By Hugh M.
October 15, 2007 10:15 PM | Link to this
Connie - No, they are not…
By Zathras
October 15, 2007 10:28 PM | Link to this
Sounds like a session to look for ways to move beyond Bush without repudiating Bush. Since the most zealous Georgia Republicans don’t want to repudiate Bush and no one else is listening to Republicans who won’t, Georgia reporters might console themselves with the thought that they aren’t missing anything.
By GodHatesTrash
October 16, 2007 5:32 AM | Link to this
A gathering of pompous hillbillies and morons. Zell Miller is walking talking fecal material.
Trash.
By Bitter EX democrackkk
October 16, 2007 6:44 AM | Link to this
Real nice of the Rs to invite Zell. Maybe he can give them some backbone/spinal supplements.
‘you cant fry the mercury out of fish’ !!! roflmbigao!