Home > Norcross.Talk > Archives > 2008 > August > 11 > Entry
DEL.ICIO.USLearn from the mistakes of others
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Our children, from every corner of the county, are apparently not being taught - or not getting the message - about making the right choices in life.
Growing up, one thing I more or less mastered was learning from other’s mistakes. I also learned (sometimes the hard way) not to repeat my own mistakes a second time.
I think the problem with many children today is… exposure and the costly effect of bad choices.
The AJC Gwinnett News recently reported a whole host of issues in various middle and high schools, including students’ arrests for crimes ranging from drugs and alcohol to weapons charges to reckless and disorderly conduct.
I remember, it was either first or second grade, we took a class trip to the Orange County Jail in Orlando for a tour. We got the typical be “good or else” talk, but what they did at the end was what left a lasting impression. They took my class down into the jail itself, opened up one of their larger cells with a few beds, a toilet out in the open and a bench, shut the door and walked away for a good 30 minutes with true inmates just a few cells down from ours.
The message was you act up and this is where you’ll end up. I’ve never been arrested.
Every student should be required to make such a trip, every year if necessary.
In a 2006 entry, I wrote about AID Gwinnett and mentioned how two 15 year olds had tested positive for HIV about two months prior to my report. Many young people do not even know they are carriers of the disease.
Those cases, and hundreds more like them across the US, could have been avoided through real sex education beyond teaching abstinence. Teens need to see the true results of risky sexual behavior and not the fallacy of Abercrombie and Fitch type models that adorn some drug companies’ advertisements.
I have seen the impact that HIV/AIDS can have on a person. I’ve lost friends to the disease.
They told me how they got it, and went out of their way to make sure I didn’t repeat their mistakes. I listened.
Our youth need exposure to all the harsh realities of life. So many parents and schools go out of their way to protect them from those realities when, really, by doing so, does them more harm than good.
Permalink | Comments (29) | Post your comment | Categories: Woody Bass
Comments
By Pam
August 12, 2008 9:00 AM | Link to this
Wow, that’s a great topic. I agree with you Woody.
By woodys mom
August 12, 2008 9:23 AM | Link to this
in todays world its even more important to educate our youth on sex drugs and violence. it comes not only under the heading of parents duty but also the schools duty. in todays world it seems that the education of everything is left up to the school.. it starts at home educate your children and the schools should follow up with more facts that the parents cant provide. like the trip that woody made to the jail.. i went on this feild trip with woody.. you could see the affect it had on all the children. i personally couldnt wait to get out of there. sometimes teaching the children entails not only formal education and parents but show them the what happens when they dont follow the rules. seeing first hand what happens is a bigger impact than just saying this is where you will end up. as the old saying goes seeing is believing. the community also has a responsiblity to this education. they need to give resources to parents and schools to educate these children.
By LT5000
August 12, 2008 11:10 AM | Link to this
If only the AJC would learn that it’s tanking circulation is from hiring hacks like Badie and Woody.
Although, if I had my druthers I would take Woody over Badie, at least he doesn’t spread lies and disinformation.
Although, Woody does occassionally put his foot in his mouth.
By the way Woody, abstinece is 100% effective and has had a greater impact than you would think.
http://www.ncfy.com/publications/abstats.htm
Of course with such great role models as Bill Clinton, Paris Hilton, John Edwards and the various rap stars it’s no wonder these kids live in a moral void.
LT5000
By Michael H. Smith
August 12, 2008 11:21 AM | Link to this
Schools should educate. Parents should nurture.
By LT5000
August 12, 2008 12:22 PM | Link to this
Here are some eye-opening facts about AIDS. Basically it’s another fear campaign destined to squeeze money out of American taxpayers.
Basically, it affects two groups here in the US. Gays and drug users.
http://www.ncfy.com/publications/abstats.htm
LT5000
By LT5000
August 12, 2008 12:48 PM | Link to this
Sorry. Bad link before. Here are the intersting facts on AIDS.
http://www.nypost.com/seven/07032008/postopinion/opedcolumnists/amyththatkills118302.htm
*The group Fair Allocations in Research compiles statistics on federal spending to fight various diseases, compared to how many Americans each disease kills. Measured that way, we spend 21 times as much on AIDS as cancer - and 78 times what we spend on coronary artery disease, 97 times anti-stroke spending. *
LT5000
By woodys mom
August 12, 2008 1:58 PM | Link to this
Michael Smith..
are you saying that its not the parents job to educate as well as nuture.. they go hand in hand.. one feeds the other..its the parents duty not only to nuture but to educate. the schools cannot educate every aspect of life. some of the education has to come from home.. is it not the parents duty to educate a child what the end result would be if they choose the wrong path in life, and to guide and educate them in the right direction? you cannot and should not leave this all up to the schools.
By Bruce Wilcox
August 12, 2008 2:31 PM | Link to this
Our grade school did it monthly, mostly to visit relatives.
Just my opinion, but first or second grade is a little early, that’s firehouse time. Maybe sixth and seventh grades would have a better impression, that’s when choices made can/will effect your life for years.
The “Scared Straight” program for older children, think it started up in New Jersey, is suppose to have a great effect for those on the line, but I believe that is dictated by the courts.
By Michael H. Smith
August 13, 2008 9:19 AM | Link to this
@woodys mom
Learn the difference between educate and nurture.
www.dictionary.com
By Cindy
August 13, 2008 9:50 AM | Link to this
Just be sure to look it up at www.dictionary.com.
Mirriam Websters definition of nurture sucks.
By Average White Banned
August 13, 2008 10:03 AM | Link to this
LT5000-
At least Woody is talking about relevant things and isn’t afraid to be honest. With all the media coverage of parents trying to worry about their kid’s “feelings” or insisting society be restricted “for the kids” this is a refreshingly frank topic.
Your comments were somewhat amusing for a while but it’s really getting old.
I do wonder what really compels you to post these negative comments. If you have something constructive to say, then that’s far better.
By Michael H. Smith
August 13, 2008 10:22 AM | Link to this
Even dictionary.com lacks enough distinction between the two words for my taste. Nurturing is the total all inclusive development (raising rearing upbringing etc.) of the child “in every aspect”. Nurturing is the responsibility of the parent, not the schools or the village.
By Michael H. Smith
August 13, 2008 10:48 AM | Link to this
http://www.ajc.com/services/content/metro/stories/2008/08/12/georgiawaterlake_lanier.html?cxtype=rss&cxsvc=7&cxcat=13
Woodrow, we got a problem. Please give this subject - water rights - consideration for your next blog topic.
By It Takes a Village
August 13, 2008 10:56 AM | Link to this
LT’s fellow villagers failed him
By Cindy
August 13, 2008 10:59 AM | Link to this
Michael, you know that. And I know that. But way too many kids are left with no choice but to raise themselves the best way they can. (even one is way too many). The schools or the village is the only real guidance some kids receive. :( So even though just this morning, my kids school called me a liar, I can’t totally knock them for it. They do have a lot of roles to fill, sometimes they step out of their bounds, but sometimes…sigh…I’ll play nice and just stop talking for now.
By Michael H. Smith
August 13, 2008 11:43 AM | Link to this
Yep, schools do have role to play and nurturing is not one of them. That is why I support education vouchers. Many don’t agree with me on this next thought either but parents should be held responsible - by law - to a higher degree for failing to nurture their children. Even though I know that is opening up a BIG can of worms, when you look around it is hard to argue something really needs to change for the very reasons you have pointed out Cindy.
By Cindy
August 13, 2008 11:59 AM | Link to this
You make a huge point Michael. Society is held responsible to deal with the results of parents not nurturing their children, so the reverse should also be true. Problem is, there’s so many cases of parents failing to do so, that there’s not enough manpower to legally hold the parents responsible…
By Michael H. Smith
August 13, 2008 12:09 PM | Link to this
Turn that around Cindy, do we have enough judges, cops, counselors and the gosh awful rest to deal with the results when parents don’t nurture their children?
It is a tough call either way.
By Cindy
August 13, 2008 1:15 PM | Link to this
Very tough call indeed.
Even good kids make bad choices sometimes. When my kids mess up, without fail, and without realizing it, I find myself going over it in my mind…what could “I” have done differently in my parenting to prevent this and what can I do in the future to prevent more mess ups…
When I hear about kids doing stuff, my first thought is not always “Well if the parents had or hadn’t…(fill in the blank)…because I know that older kids do not always stick to their upbringing…but at the same time…it does start from home. It’s so complicated. Grrrr.
I try to keep the right balance…I hope that makes sense. Alot of times it seems like the really good kids who keep themselves in check through their teen years, will get grown and make bad choices and act irresponsibly and it costs them alot. Hopefully mine won’t do too badly since they aren’t anywhere close to trying to appear perfect and they sure ain’t sheltered. One can hope…
By Katie
August 14, 2008 6:34 AM | Link to this
Although schools play a major roll in the education of children, I believe that the parents should be the main provider. Parents should be more involved. Schools, in my opinion, are there to teach Math, English, Science and History. I don’t believe that schools are responsible for teaching morals. I think schools should be good examples but once again, parents should provide the blunt of everything. If people choose to have children, then they should be 100% responsible for them. As a tax payer, this matters to me. I do NOT want to pay to raise someone elses children. Schools should spend less time take care of and raising children and more time educating them. If that means that more are expelled, then so be it. Once again, parents should be responsible. (I’m sure I’ve opened up a can of worms as well)
By LT5000
August 14, 2008 9:37 AM | Link to this
Badie and Woody both suck, but Woody is slightly better.
They have both proven their vast ignorance many times before.
Such as the brilliant comment from Woody about “How hard could it be to make water? It’s just two hydrogens and an oxygen.”
Or his occasionnal Anti-Gun spiel.
http://www.ajc.com/metro/content/shared-blogs/ajc/norcrosstalk/entries/2007/02/04/aregunstoo_ac.html
Both Woody and Badie are woefully misinformed on the issues, Woody just isn’t as bad. But when your choices are between an idiot and moron, you really aren’t being given a choice.
LT5000
By Copyleft
August 14, 2008 11:57 AM | Link to this
The reason schools have to step in is because so many parents are ignorant and negligent.
If you won’t teach your kids right from wrong… we’ll have to do it.
By Cindy
August 14, 2008 1:44 PM | Link to this
Copyleft, I agree…so many parents ARE ignorant and negligent. Apparently, just because you lay down (or stand) and get much pleasure from the opposite sex’s body, it doesn’t mean when you create new life, you know what to do…and actually do it. And ya know…a little chocolate syrup affects the entire cup of milk, as a little leaven leavens the whole lump…as poor parents affect society as a whole.
So in exchange for the schools having to step in, it seems to me, from a parents standpoint, that alot of school personnel have become jaded. Now, to be fair, I’m not sure I can blame them for it…as life goes, when you deal with certain things, it affects you in different ways.
Not sure really about the point I’m trying to make, except please know that not ALL parents are ignorant, negligent, lazy, morons who expect the system to do our jobs of raising our children. Some of us actually enjoy being a parent and instilling our values/beliefs, morals and lessons into our own children.
Just remember, what you see may not always be what we’ve (parents)created. For some reason, kids put on another “face” when they go to school…thinking they need to be cooler and more socially acceptable and alot of the time…that means lowering themselves down to a lower moral denominator.
It’s not uncommon even after adulthood. We put on certain faces to interview for jobs…to go to certain events…and so on and so on…so for school kids, it’s just a younger, under-developed version of trying to fit in.
But it doesn’t mean that all the parents aren’t doing their jobs.
And by the way…from reading your post, I would think you’re school personnel…wherever that may be, thank you for all you do with/for the kids and parents.
I like the little joke that says a teacher sent home a note with all the students on the first day of school, that reads:
Dear Parents, I promise not to believe everything your child comes to school and says, as long as you promise not to believe everything your child comes home and says. :)
By Michael H. Smith
August 15, 2008 10:05 AM | Link to this
Schools of course do step-in (if that be the preferred term) when some aspect in a child’s life is is need of guidance.
http://www.ajc.com/metro/content/metro/gwinnett/stories/2008/08/14/gwinnettminoritydiscipline.html
Wooten’s column ~ Hold adults accountable for the life they conceive ~ reiterates my long held and often expressed views.
It does not take a village to raise [nurture] a child. It takes a mother and a father.
http://www.ajc.com/opinion/content/shared-blogs/ajc/thinkingright/entries/2008/08/11/holdadultsaccountableforth.html
By Cindy
August 15, 2008 10:11 AM | Link to this
neither link worked for me. :(
glad you posted though…thought I’d broked the blog yesterday. :)
By Michael H. Smith
August 15, 2008 10:33 AM | Link to this
I was afraid the links would not publish. These blogs simply will not allow some links to post. Anyhow, you can always do the copy and paste thing.
By Cindy
August 15, 2008 11:03 AM | Link to this
I tried that. It says it’s a broken link. AJC must be replacing pages now instead of archiving them.
By Michael H. Smith
August 15, 2008 1:02 PM | Link to this
Black students’ discipline cases disproportionate to population
Hold adults accountable for the life they conceive
Oh well… try, try again. Oops, I mean again, again and uh… again. grrr
By Cindy
August 15, 2008 2:11 PM | Link to this
Thanks! I didn’t even know that blog existed.