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Monday, September 11, 2006
No Christmas displays in September!
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
The madness must stop. It has gotten completely out of control and I can’t take it anymore.
Welcome to my yearly “Bah Humbug Rant”.
I know what you’re thinking because I have heard this from my friends before…
“Woody, isn’t it a little early for this?”
You have to understand that I am not the biggest fan of the holidays as it is, so you can probably imagine my reaction when I wandered into Garden Ridge and Old Time Pottery over the Labor Day weekend.
I saw something that looked like the Great Pumpkin or Santa and all his elves had thrown up all over the stores.
There were pumpkins, witches, Christmas trees (what I like to call bah humbug trees), ornaments and snowmen. All sorts of orange, black, red and green washed over the stores like a holiday tidal wave had hit them.
C’mon, it is early September people! We haven’t even made it past the end of summer much less Halloween and Thanksgiving!
As a kid, I enjoyed the holidays until one day something just clicked inside me and I realized just how selfish and over commercialized the holidays had become.
They’ve lost their meaning to me and I couldn’t care less about them. For this reason, I felt it necessary to develop the following rules for the holidays.
Woody’s Rules for the Holidays:
Rule No. 5: Parents, please don’t lie to your kids. Forget about stories of Santa, the Easter Bunny and all because all your really doing is just setting them up for a big let-down later.
Rule No. 4: Don’t expect anything in return for any gift you give to someone and certainly don’t complain about a gift given to you. Giving and doing something nice for someone is supposed to be the point of the holiday isn’t it? I think that message has gotten lost. Give to that person’s charity of choice instead.
Rule No. 3: Do not buy or sell holiday merchandise until 30 days before the holiday and certainly not before another holiday is finished. For instance, no bah humbug till after gobble gobble.
Rule No. 2: Please save yourselves the embarrassment of tacky or lackluster decorating. I have seen some really nasty jobs of holiday lighting and displays. Take the time and money and do it right or preferably not at all.
Rule No. 1: Remove ll holiday decorations and lighting by Dec 31. This rule, if broken, unnerves me more than any other and is worthy of a long string of expletives and mocking. If you can’t get all those tacky decorations down by that time, they probably didn’t need to go up in the first place. There is a house in the Norcross area that still hasn’t taken down those ugly ‘icicle lights’ from their house from like two years ago!
Now if you will excuse me, I need to go make a huge “Bah Humbug” sign with my mentor Scrooge on it for my front yard in protest.
Do you agree that all this over commercialism of the holidays has gotten out of hand? What rule would you add to the list?
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