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DEL.ICIO.USFor Father’s Day, what do you really want?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Home Depot, Best Buy, Target and Hallmark seem to think they know exactly what every father in Lawrenceville really wants.
A new lawnmower. A card with cheesy poetry. A designer fragrance that comes with a free gift and a scent that will choke the whole family in the living room with that first squirt onto his forearm.
Don’t forget Golden Corral thinks this day should begin with loads of eggs and bacon, and pancakes and syrup, and biscuits with gravy in the color — brown or white — Dad most wants.
Rich’s-Macy’s would also like you to know they have the perfect pair of Father’s Day — ready, gift-wrapped men’s socks.
For years I bought golf balls made of chocolate. Real golf balls with tees. Ties. More ties. Shirts. More shirts. And socks. Junk I handpicked every Saturday before the third Sunday of June since about 1971.
All this would be followed by long waits at dinners out at nice restaurants and not-so-nice restaurants. Or 30-minute meals I cooked that came out nothing like Rachel Ray’s boob tube culinary projects.
Then one day these Father’s Day celebrations stopped.
Truth be told, I was a spoiled Daddy’s girl named after my father, Jack. This means my “terrible twos” lasted into my 30s. I terrorized my Dad with the wrong boyfriends and wasted violin and piano lessons that I quit after these hobbies exorcised heaps of cash from my Dad’s wallet. Oh yeah, and let’s not forget having Dad pay off every credit card I was offered the minute I arrived on a college campus and thought I was handed a free way to shop.
Then one day his perfect display of fatherhood stopped.
My spoiled bratness ended with my father’s first exploratory cancer surgery. At that moment I wanted to make every single day he lived like Father’s Day and I prayed this thought over and over enough to rival a Tibetan monk.
Instead all that happened was that my spoiled bratness had been surgically removed by the same surgeon who came to me in the waiting room that day and gave me a two-year timetable for how many more Father’s Days I’d actually shop.
Last fall we sold our parents’ house. What do I find? Some of those same Father’s Day ties, a few of those grandiose socks, and junky coffee mugs with “#1 Dad!” etched on the sides. Mementos of all the Father’s Days that were filled with gifts and dinners that were now lost.
We had buried my Dad on my 39th birthday. But that’s not as sad as knowing that he had kept all the junky Father’s Day gifts I gave him like they were exactly what he had always wanted.
Retailers would like you to believe their multimillion-dollar Father’s Day advertising campaigns are the true source of knowing what Dad wants. Maybe it is a flat screen. Or an iPod. Or breakfast at Golden Corral where Dad can stuff himself with 50 slices of bacon if he wants.
Or maybe you should just ask him what he really wants. Since Wal-Mart and Target and Circuit City only want you to surprise him with crap so they’ll have more customers this month.
“Surprise! New socks!”
Dear Lawrenceville Dads, for Father’s Day what do you REALLY want?
Permalink | Comments (37) | Post your comment | Categories: Jacqueline Bullard
Comments
By Dave
June 14, 2006 10:01 AM | Link to this
Better subjects on your blog.
By ByteMan
June 14, 2006 10:35 AM | Link to this
This is my first Father’s Day and I’m getting pretty much what I want. My parents are visiting and I’ll be with my family.
The rest is just stuff I don’t need or could get any time I want.
By Rob
June 14, 2006 10:55 AM | Link to this
I want my kids to respect others and be the best kids in the world. As for gifts, every hug i get from them, is my gift, thats all i need. Love you guys!!! Dad!
By Justadad
June 14, 2006 11:02 AM | Link to this
My son was killed in combat last year. I want one more day fishing with him.
By husbandw/3kids
June 14, 2006 11:04 AM | Link to this
For Father’s Day I would love to get a nice big hug from my kids…a nice dinner…and I would love for my wife and I to sex each other up like we did before we had kids…
By Tom
June 14, 2006 11:16 AM | Link to this
What do I want?
Well, I know that I don’t want something expensive. If it was something I really wanted but couldn’t afford, I can’t imagine how my wife and kids could afford to get it for me out of the same bank account.
Mainly, I just want to be together with my kids and my wife. I want to be extra thankful for the blessings God has given me in these children, and extra mindful of the responsibility that comes along with it. But most of all, I want to feel like I’m doing “OK” at the most important job I’ve ever had. I’m not perfect, and neither are my kids, but I pray I just don’t mess ‘em up too much. Sometimes those cards drawn or signed in crayon and those ridiculous “#1 Dad” mugs and T-Shirts can be potent reminders, as you look in the expectant eyes of the gift giver, that maybe you are not doing too badly as a Dad after all.
And THAT is what I think we all want for Father’s Day.
(Although some beef or lots of bacon is always appreciated too…)
By mem
June 14, 2006 11:46 AM | Link to this
@justadad - My heart goes out to you. Your son and you have my humble gratitude for defending our freedoms. God bless you.
By Justadad
June 14, 2006 11:52 AM | Link to this
Thank you mem, keep praying for the sons and daughters in harms way.
By Tommy
June 14, 2006 12:11 PM | Link to this
…a nice hooker
By JTS
June 14, 2006 12:43 PM | Link to this
What do I want? A Little Giant Ladder, A new lawnmower, A new Grill, a Plasma TV…
What do I need? Nothing…
What will I get? The best present…a weekend with my beautiful wife & beautiful daughter.
By Temp
June 14, 2006 12:59 PM | Link to this
What dads really want: 1. Wake him up with a hummer.
A day with no nagging or questioning. After breakfast, either take the kids and go away somewhere or let him go off and do what he wants with no comments or eye rolling.
A dinner of his favorites, be it steak or whatever.
More sex.
By Cranberry
June 14, 2006 01:09 PM | Link to this
My father died 3 days after my 40th birthday. I will be forever grateful that he came to my big bash. I’d bet money that he kept every single thing my brother and I ever gave him, not because it was useful or needed, but just becuase he loved us, and we loved him.
I think any father would want a day with family. Anything else is just gravy.
By mem
June 14, 2006 01:21 PM | Link to this
I miss my father and father in law terribly. Never got to tell either one goodbye or how much I love them. Wish I had written down all the things they passed on to me. I love you Paw and Pop.
By frank123
June 14, 2006 01:23 PM | Link to this
What I would want? Regular ties, work gloves, screw drivers, wrenches, car wash, prime rib, rocky road ice cream, or a power saw.
My Dad died 3 years ago. If it were possible, I would like to talk to my Dad about his days in the Pacific during WWII and off Okinawa.
By Jacky
June 14, 2006 01:53 PM | Link to this
For all of those lucky enough to still have their Dad around, call him up and tell him that you love him. That’ll mean more than any gift.
By Tim T
June 14, 2006 01:56 PM | Link to this
I was sitting here right now agonizing over what to get my father, when I come across this blog. I have 2 girls (one 18 the other 10 yrs old)so I have had my share of gifts for fathers day. I then asked “myself” what do I really want from my girls? Answer: Just to spend time with them.
I wonder if my father wants the same thing?
By Papa
June 14, 2006 01:57 PM | Link to this
What do I want?
I want my kids to stop growing up so fast! I was looking at pictures yesterday evening and it took everything I had not to fall into a ball of mush thinking how my son is growing into a young man.
By John
June 14, 2006 02:36 PM | Link to this
We don’t want tools or things to help us work in the yard or around the house just like women don’t want things for the kitchen for Christmas or Mother’s Day. We don’t want gift cards to Home Depot or Lowes. Give us fun things—tickets to a sporting event, dinner at our favorite restaurant, books, an uninterrupted Sunday afternoon to watch the U.S. Open, etc.
By jeffreyamo
June 14, 2006 03:04 PM | Link to this
It is interesting to see the disparity between Mother’s and Father’s Day. I, too, just want to spend the day with my daughter. It is amazing how simple we men really are, yet so many wives fail to realize that we really are happy when our basic needs are met.
By Mom&Dad
June 14, 2006 03:43 PM | Link to this
I want to see my beautiful 13 yr. old daughter’s “DEADBEAT DONOR” do some serious time for being a “DEADBEAT DONOR”. Or better yet, his death certificate, so that we can finally get some financial support!!!
By Woodie
June 14, 2006 03:45 PM | Link to this
What I want is for my children to be self-sufficient. I look forward to the day I no longer get calls wanting “help”. I’m old and tired and not a free bank for all the kid’s bad finiancial judgements. I sweated my bills, now you kids sweat your. The burden and anxiety of this is more enormous than you will ever know. It wears me down.
By DaddyDose
June 14, 2006 03:54 PM | Link to this
I’d like, before my last Dad’s Day, for all of my sons to become Fathers and to have the joy that entails, watching their kids grow. Nothing like it.
By justadad
June 14, 2006 04:23 PM | Link to this
careful what you wish for woodie… you might get it in ways you never thought of.
By T
June 14, 2006 05:10 PM | Link to this
2 cases of beer and a Bottle of Scotch!
By Gerald
June 14, 2006 05:20 PM | Link to this
Good food, no nagging, no “honey do’s” to do, and that look in the eyes of your kids as they say to you… “thanks for everything, dad” - with a hug. That’s Fathers Day to me.
By Justin
June 14, 2006 05:33 PM | Link to this
If we are divorced or not married to the mother of our children, we want joint legal and joint physical custody of the children.
We want the right to be actively involved in our children’s lives without interference from the mother.
We want society, the family court judges, and peripheral staff to acknowledge the importance of fatherhood involvement. Look at the statistics!
We want fair and equitable child support so we can save for our children’s future.
We want an accounting of how the child support is being used.
We want more severe penalties for mothers who interfere with our parenting time and who practice parental alienation syndrome.
We want our children to spend time with their grandparents and other relatives without the mother requesting “her first right of refusal”.
We want the mother of our children to “release the anger”.
We want the mother of our children to not move our children away to be vindictive.
We want to be true fathers without interference. Our children are the winners!
Happy Father’s Day!
By Don KeBallz
June 14, 2006 07:32 PM | Link to this
Temp is right on! Wake me up with a hummer and give me a freak show with our sexy lady neighbor!
By mm505
June 15, 2006 12:05 AM | Link to this
To sleep late, or until my wife “wakes” me up, not to work on Fathers Day, watch the NASCAR race without commercial interruption, a nice steak dinner and what ever my kids want to give me for a gift as I know what ever it is, I’ll always treasure it!
By LG
June 15, 2006 07:57 AM | Link to this
Justin,
I wish all dad’s deserved the things you mentioned. But when Dad tells Mom that he never wanted the kids in the first place (but he wanted to participate in their creation), and now he has to pay for them, and Dad becomes a crack addict and uses when the kids are at his place, he deserves absolutely nothing. The best thing he ever did for my kids was to move 700 miles away.
I hope you’re one of the better dads, and deserving of everything you want.
By Justin
June 15, 2006 10:07 AM | Link to this
LG, you had a bad situation. But if he does get his life together and comes clean, he should have the opportunity for a relationship with his children.
However, there are many great dads out there. The courts, vengeful ex-wives, “radical” feminists (not all feminists), and vengeful baby mama’s push good dads out of children’s lives.
By Justin
June 15, 2006 10:11 AM | Link to this
Mom&Dad, You are cold and need to be investigated in case someone comes up missing!
See my June 14, 2006 05:33 PM post and my June 15, 2006 10:07 AM
By Justin
June 15, 2006 10:14 AM | Link to this
jeffreyamo, Because when women get married, their true selves are revealed! They are selfish! They want what they want, when they want it! Forget who it affects!
By Justin
June 15, 2006 10:17 AM | Link to this
For those who have lost their children, fathers, or grandfathers, many blessings to you and cherish the memories.
By Al
June 15, 2006 10:26 AM | Link to this
I would like for my son, who has been potty training, to use the toliet all day.
And then everything Temp mentioned.
By Justin
June 15, 2006 02:58 PM | Link to this
LG,
Also, see the woman to woman blog entitled “Should fathers be held financially responsible for children born without their consent?”
By Rich
June 16, 2006 05:57 PM | Link to this
I want to wake up to my wife and son next to me.I want to give praise to our heavenly father for giving me this day and blessing me with my family.I want to see the smile on my sons face as he quickly runs to me with arms open.I want to hear his laughter as we play like 2 children.I want to see his mother smiling with joy as she looks upon us, proud of her “boys”. To sum it up,all I want for Fathers day, is what I want any other day in my life, to appreciate what matters most,and to not worry with that which doesnt.
By april
June 19, 2006 04:43 PM | Link to this
We are newly weds in our mid thirties. We just bought a house in Larenceville, and I’m currently googling “things to do in Larenceville.” True, this is kind of the boonies for two urbanites that would rather eat sushi and go to cool pubs in Buckhead or little 5 points. But who can afford to live there?!!
We are very pleased with our first house. We have an awesome yard and plan on making our own eclectic parties in our nice backyard. (As soon as we find some diverse and eclectic friends to join us). Meanwhile, in exchange for a nice shady place to call home,we will have to drive into the city to get our fancy ethic food on, or to get quality entertainment that does not consist of sports bars.
But remember, this is urbran sprawl…and we are counting culture and entertainment to make it’s way here in the burbs…