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Tuesday, May 9, 2006
Why I hate ‘Trading Spaces’
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Here are my nine easy steps to hating “Trading Spaces.”
Clean and organize garage — using tips from “Trading Spaces” episodes.
Later discover a leaking water heater has turned garage into a large pond.
Ignore situation and use gigantic 10-pound stockpot given to you as Christmas present to pour hot water into bathtub.
Burn fingertips carrying gigantic 10-pound stockpot filled with scalding water up and down staircase to bathtub.
Admit defeat and shop for new water heater at Home Depot, Sears and Lowes.
Argue with salespeople about extra installation fees based on ZIP code.
Realize it is impossible to lie about ZIP code to save money since water heater will be delivered to home.
Cry at VISA charge of $611 for new water heater, expansion tank, installation and mysterious Gwinnett County water heater permit fee.
Realize “Trading Spaces” made homeownership seem cheap by renovating spaces for under 1,000 bucks.
This list reflects a true story. The names of the stores have not been changed to protect the innocent because there is nothing innocent about charging mysterious water heater permit fees based on Gwinnett County ZIP codes. I felt like they were collecting fees on behalf of the city/county just like taxes.
There is nothing innocent about the city of Lawrenceville attaching a $120 permit fee to a resident’s sales transaction claiming this covers the cost of an inspector verifying the water heater was properly installed. The great mystery is whether these inspectors actually show up.
Thankfully, by some random act of planning and zoning, my street is actually outside the city limits, although I still call Lawrenceville home. The cost of my permit fee collected on behalf of Gwinnett County? $30.
I only survived this episode because of emergency questions phoned into Dr. Ken, Medicine Man. This is my brother-in-law, acclaimed do-it-yourselfer, able to surgically install water heaters all alone.
The one question the Medicine Man couldn’t answer from his home — 1,700 miles away — is why the city of Lawrenceville would charge $120 when Gwinnett County only charged $30 to approve a water heater install.
“Is this just another way to rip people off, Dr. Ken?”
“But of course.”
I thanked Dr. Ken for his diagnosis. For giving me tools for Christmas. For telling me which seasonal bug killer to buy after being under contract with a pest control company for an entire year although ants still spent summer vacation on the first floor of my home. And thanks for the gigantic 10-pound stockpot that can fill a bathtub.
Is “Trading Spaces” guilty of making homeownership look cheap? Or as someone living OTCL (outside the city limits of Lawrenceville), should I just be happy I saved $90 by not living ITCL when I needed a water heater installed?
In short, what do you think of these water heater permit fees?
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