Gwinnett.talk

By Bella

March 15, 2007 9:26 AM | Link to this

If as a parent, you start covering up for your kids now, imagine the cover up you’re gonna have to do when they are adults…

By bc

March 15, 2007 9:30 AM | Link to this

Yes!!! No questions about it, it would break my heart doing it…but I believe that is the only way that they would learn that there are always consequences to their actions.

By julie

March 15, 2007 9:40 AM | Link to this

I want to say an unequivocal ‘yes’ but…when I see how many times the punishment does not fit the crime or the age of the perpetrators, I hesitate. I look at my precious nine year old boy who has some learning disabilities, maturity issues and has never been in trouble with the law and say, of course, I would want him to take responsibility for his actions then I look at the juvenile court system and think of how he could be taken away and cast into a place where no one understands him or cares for him,where he could learn horrible things from “not so sheltered children”, then I hesitate. He would be unable to care for himself and be truly terrified and changed for life in a very detrimental way. Of course I think there needs to be punishment for what these children did. Let’s have common sense over the entire issue and take into consideration the ages, intent, previous unlawful acts, what kind of supervision and homelife they have had, etc. We must remember that they are little boys and not teenagers or grown men and let the punishment fit for these kids. What I am trying to say is that not all kids who do something very wrong are hardened ‘street kids’ or do so imagining what consequences may occur. This does not seem cut and dried to me, just very, very gray. My heart hurts over this whole situation.

By M. Spain

March 15, 2007 9:40 AM | Link to this

Definately with out question. I would make them face the consequences. But it would definately break my heart and Im sure Id be hysterical after I turned them in. Id have to show a strong face as much as I could, but I know Id be crying. Im sure the judge will give them a punishment, but they would be serving community service that I instilled volunteering at a burn center as well as at the local fire departments that responded to the calls doing chores around the station. Then they would be doing chores for the people who lost their homes and volunteering at the community that was damaged offering whatever services to anyone who needed them.

Since its against the law to spank your children now (ie. the law seems to misinterpret spanking for beating), they’d be serving the community for a long time to come which could be punishment enough for a child that young.

By Ed

March 15, 2007 9:52 AM | Link to this

Yes, sure would, actually already been down this road. Several years ago we found out my then pre-teen son vandalized a school library with a few of his buddies. We took him to the police department ourselves for him to confess. On top of that I talked in private with the police officer, this was in Texas, and I pleaded with him for my sons future to scare the living daylights out of him. The officer instilled the fear of God in that boy. He paid the fines out of future birthday and Christmas gifts, we don’t owe him a present until he is 88. He also did community service work and we charged him for the gasoline to take him there on the week-ends. His life of crime was short lived. He was mad at us for awhile, that was the least of our worries.

By deidreNC

March 15, 2007 10:03 AM | Link to this

several years ago a couple of my sons friends (they were all 10ish) set a tiny little pile of weeds on fire..the next thing they knew the whole mountain side was on fire-it was very windy and humidity was very low..we were actually in a fire warning at the time…well it freaked these boys out…the fire dudes came and it all ended ok…no homes burned and the underbrush was taken care of in case of another fire…anyway..my point is..these kids had no idea what they did…they had no malicious intentions..but god forbid if any houses had burned who knows what would have happened to these kids…i agree with the earlier poster-the punishments of crimes rarely seem to fit-i hate what these boys and their families are going thru…i would make my kid confess to what he did..yes…but geeze- its just sad—thank god no one was killed!!!!!!!!!!!!!

By mom

March 15, 2007 10:11 AM | Link to this

Not only would I - I have. When my daughter was 4 she shoplifted - very innocently - but still shoplifted. I took her back to the store, called the store manager and made her tell him what she did and that she was sorry.

They need to know wrong is wrong.

My son was involved with some kids and drugs at school - and I narc’d on him and his friends - some kids were arrested others suspended. My own included.

Would I do it again? Absolutely. If we don’t start when they are young teaching them right from wrong then how do they learn. There are consequences for what we do in life - better to learn a lesson as a kid then as an adult.

By Grant Parker

March 15, 2007 10:17 AM | Link to this

As a responsible parent, you have no choice other than to alert the authorities. Anything less is illegal and sends absolutely the wrong message to your child and his/her peers.

By wynn

March 15, 2007 10:28 AM | Link to this

I know it would be a very painful thing to do,but also the right thing.You have to show your child you won’t uphold them in any wrong doing,and if they commit a crime,they must face the consequences.It is better to turn them in without incident,than to have them beat up or shot up by the police, trying to arrest them.

By Sheri

March 15, 2007 10:42 AM | Link to this

HECK YEAH!!!! In fact, I have always told that to my 9 year old son since he was 3 or so, that I wouldn’t hesitate to take him to the jail. But prior to even turning the child/children in, they would have endure the rath of me first!!! But yes, it is what parents are to do, especially in this day and age, we HAVE TO teach or kids the right from the wrong no matter what the consequences are. I have posted this same topic on another site, but my questions were posed to the court system and what the final outcome of prosecution is going to be. Should the judge go to the fullest extent with these boys or should there be leniency based on their age etc… I have gotten great feedback from both sides of the fence. Seems majority of the opinions state that these kids should be held responsible, but not put in jail, they should have to help with the clean up and rebuild and still some how be responsible for restitution, which I guess would come from the parents insurance maybe, who knows…. and i agree with some long time community service for these boys, even the 7 year old. I just feel it will most likely leave a stamp on their brain for the future as “what not to do”, if they are presented to the world of juvi, but not have to live it.

By wynn

March 15, 2007 10:48 AM | Link to this

I know it would be a very painful thing to do,but also the right thing.You have to show your child you won’t uphold them in any wrong doing,and if they commit a crime,they must face the consequences.It is better to turn them in without incident,than to have them beat up or shot up by the police, trying to arrest them.

By JL

March 15, 2007 11:02 AM | Link to this

Yes! If you don’t they will grown up thinking they can get away with anything and mom will cover up for me. I just recently had to cut the apron string with my oldest son. They live and the learn(hopefully),just like we did. I believe we all have choices and the choices we make could affect us for the rest of our lives.

By JL

March 15, 2007 11:02 AM | Link to this

Yes! If you don’t they will grown up thinking they can get away with anything and mom will cover up for me. I just recently had to cut the apron string with my oldest son. They live and the learn(hopefully),just like we did. I believe we all have choices and the choices we make could affect us for the rest of our lives.

By YESINDEED

March 15, 2007 11:03 AM | Link to this

Certainly! And wouldn’t bail them out: (1) it’s a good way to get them out of the house, and (2) it would keep them from burning down MY house!

By Charles

March 15, 2007 11:05 AM | Link to this

Absolutely not. I would not surrender my child to a criminal justice system that’s incapable of delivering justice to some of its citizens. Justice can’t be rendered because many of our citizens are too drunk with the fog of slavery to acquire the power needed to secure justice. Too punch drunk to understand what power is or its significance.

To secure justice in the United States of America, African Americans do not need black people in critical positions within the government, and their people have no power. That is worse than having no black people in critical governmental positions. To secure justice, we need institutions capable of feeding, clothing, sheltering, educating, and providing jobs primarily for black people. We would now have the influence to secure justice; respect from members of our ethnic group, common citizens, police, grand juries, defense attorneys, prosecuting attorneys, juries, judges, probation officers. A verdict guilty or innocent means justice under these circumstances. We just don’t get it! Some people say that we are not smart enough to understand what power is or its significance.

Under those circumstances, I would surrender my child to the criminal justice system having the confidence that justice would be served.

By Jo

March 15, 2007 11:05 AM | Link to this

If you truly love your child, you will instill in him/her from an early age the difference between right & wrong & let them know in no uncertain terms that there are severe consequences for committing a crime so the answer would have to be “yes”.

By bearcrazyman

March 15, 2007 11:09 AM | Link to this

Enviga Please

By V for Vendetta

March 15, 2007 11:12 AM | Link to this

Of course, because they would WANT to go to jail rather than deal with me.

By Beam Me Up, Scotty..

March 15, 2007 11:17 AM | Link to this

NO INTELLIGENT LIFE HERE!!! Charles, are you FOR REAL?!?! I am so sick & tired of my fellow African Americans making everything about race! This blog topic has absolutely NOT A THING to do with race! By saying we are entitled to handouts, you are only propagating the idea many Caucasians have about us that we are lazy, shiftless whiners who feel the world owes us a living. I hope you don’t have kids because I bet they are thugs & are not only allowed, but encouraged to break the law, because, after all, the law is “against blacks.” Now can we please get back to the topic at hand??

By Amy

March 15, 2007 11:35 AM | Link to this

I believe that the mother did the right thing in this case, not only for the future of her boys but on behalf of the victims. Though it started as a relatively innocent childhood act, the results were devastating: people lost their homes, pets, and personal and treasured belongings, things that can never be replaced. Protecting your child from the consequences of their actions would mean devaluing the suffering of the victims.

By V for Vendetta

March 15, 2007 11:42 AM | Link to this

Beam Me Up …

Thank you for your comments, they are appreciated and VERY respected.

Charles,

You are an embarrassment to the black community here in the South as well as in the nation. Comments like that are shameful. As an average southern “white guy” who holds no animosity in his heart toward ANY person who works hard and contributes to society, I find your comments offensive and disgusting.

Take the huge chip off of your shoulder and rejoin the rest of society.

By Maria

March 15, 2007 11:42 AM | Link to this

Most definately!! As soon as I found out that my child did something that was forbidden and other people could have been harmed, their little behinds would be at the police station. Look at it this way, would you rather save money for college? or save money to post a bond? It’s now or never. Reckless, untamed, disrespectful children grow to be just that as adults. If your parent(s) condone your behavior, why would they think that anything they do is wrong? Children need to learn as children, the court system isn’t as forgiving when you are an adult. Make your choice, raise them as children or adults. We all know it’s hard to tell another adult what to do. Think about it.

By Lynn

March 15, 2007 11:46 AM | Link to this

Beam me up Scotty….thank you! People like Charles are the ones who get things riled up all the time and expect something for nothing. CHARLES, take the covers off your head.

By Nathan S. R

March 15, 2007 11:54 AM | Link to this

If you are willing to shield somebody’s child if he sets fire to your house, then you can cover up your child’s criminal behavior and arson - that simple.

By Ginger

March 15, 2007 12:07 PM | Link to this

Yes

By Got that?

March 15, 2007 12:13 PM | Link to this

Charles, I am a black man and I find that your viewpoint is the reason why there are not many blacks in positions of power. You don’t get there by doing nothing and expecting it to fall out of the sky. Sitting around waiting for the “system” is how you’re getting punch drunk. There is no system. In life, you get what you go after. If you want to succeed, you must do it again and again until you get it right. You have to take responsibility for your life being the way it is because you designed it that way, directly or indirectly by letting someone else do it for you.

Even children have to learn that for every decision they make, there will be consequences. Some they will like, some they won’t. Trying to protect them from that harms them and society. Evidence that you’ve been harmed that way came directly from you. You probably blame everyone else for what you don’t have. With you, it’s always someone else’s fault. Sober up buddy. Get off your lazy butt, work hard, and learn to take responsibility for your life. Then, you’ll have something you can be proud of and the world will have the same problems.

By Mom-to-be

March 15, 2007 12:17 PM | Link to this

Not yet a parent, but I would like to think that I would DEFINITELY turn my child in. Like so many here have said - if you don’t, then you condone criminal behavior and the child learns nothing. A 10 year old boy in my neighborhood recently set fire to a neighbor’s grass right after it had been chemically treated, knowing this would make it highly flammable. The fire burned the whole back yard, destroyed the fence and melted an a/c unit. Luckily it was put out before damaging the house. What did his parent’s do? They brushed it off as an “accident” and brought the boy a puppy the very next day. How do you think this kid is going to grow up?

By Jennifer

March 15, 2007 12:19 PM | Link to this

Yes, I would turn them in. Actually, I have turned in my then-2nd grader for repeatedly stealing her classmates things (stuffed animals, other items) from their desks. She kept coming home with new stuffed animals and told me her teacher had given them to her as a reward. I did not believe her at first but put it to rest after further questioning. Then it happened again and it was a beanie baby stuffed animal. I sat her down and after questioning her again and again she finally gave in and said she had taken all of the things she had been bringing home. I contacted the police department and asked if I could bring her in for someone to talk with her about what happens to children and to adults when they are caught stealing. Then, I contacted her teacher and let him know what I had done and I took her in to his classroom so she could speak with him about it. She also had to apologize to her entire class.

Do we have any problems now? Absolutely none. At least nothing of that type. However, she is a teenager now! LOL

And to Charles, do you ever stop to think that it’s parents and people like you who are setting the examples to your kids? If you don’t do anything about their bad behavior, then you are in essence condoning it. So, good job there, buddy!

By JennyD

March 15, 2007 12:19 PM | Link to this

I know it’s tempting to chastise him, but please everyone - try to ignore Charles’ comments. The more you post about it, the more likely it is that the conversation will shift topics and become a silly race debate.

By Who's Yer Daddy?

March 15, 2007 12:22 PM | Link to this

Charles, go pound sand and take your racial whining elsewhere it’s rather BORING. Yes, I would do the right thing and report my children, no matter what their age would be.If I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt they were involved in something illegel.

By Charles

March 15, 2007 12:39 PM | Link to this

Ladies and gentlemen,

I usually don’t respond to comments because the educational institutions have dumbed-down people to the point of insanity. I am just too busy for rebuttals. Your comments have no relationship to my first post. But I will make one and only one rebuttal to your posts.

No human beings on the face of the earth will deprive us of the right to think, and live on the earth as decent human beings with unquestioned intellect and integrity. I am sure that most of you hold no animosity in your hearts toward ANY person who works hard and contributes to society. I don’t think I made such an accusation. My comment was basically institutional.

Your comments seem to be designed to confuse people who may read them. If you all want to play games, turn your radio to 1380 waok and you will find African American who are hired to represent that kind of propaganda seven days a week.

But as for us, we are a functional part of society, but we would rather not join the rest of society in the spirit that you represent. As the Bible has said, we are the remnant of a people who have never bowed down to any idol, and neither have we kissed them.

You all have a good day.

By Ed

March 15, 2007 12:45 PM | Link to this

I’ll bet you a dime to a dollar Charles has kids with women he does not support nor is he married to their mother. Oh poor you, boo hoo. Thank the lord for every Charles out there is a concerned father out there too, a father that has the kids best interest in mind and not some fringe political agenda this poor suffering black man imagines he is a victim of. What a crock.

By Got that?

March 15, 2007 12:48 PM | Link to this

Ahhhhh…Gorrest Fump has spoken. Let us all be silent for only he knows what is best.

Someone needs to lay off the crack pipe.

By Huh?

March 15, 2007 12:48 PM | Link to this

Charles, Thanks for the “clarification” and carry on. No need to provide any further comment, I think you have said quite enough .. about what no one is really sure, but I’m sure it will come to us. shrug

By Eve

March 15, 2007 12:50 PM | Link to this

It was one of the hardest thing I ever had to do. He was 14 at the time but if I had not forced him to accept responsibility immediately, it would without a doubt lead to more problems later. He will be graduating from college soon and is doing wonderfully.

By Huh?

March 15, 2007 12:52 PM | Link to this

Oh and also Ed’s an idiot.

By Nikita

March 15, 2007 1:06 PM | Link to this

Yes, I think parents should turn in their kids when they have done something wrong. It is their job to raise respsonsible adults ready to live in society. Kids cannot live their lives not understanding and considering consequences. We have far too many adults who do not understand this in jails and unfortunately in high level paying jobs as is.

In theory I do not agree with Charles. In a perfect world the police force, courts and society as a whole will be fair to minority and poor kids but statistics proves that is not quite how it works. However I do agree that children should face the same punishment despite their race or finances. I feel strongly that “street kids” should recieve the same punishment and opportunities to correct their behavior as the “sheltered kids”. I am an optimist and hope that officials who see the parents (working poor, middle class, rich, white, black, asian, latino, indian etc.) making sure the kids get their lessons about real life remember that they are kids and they have made a mistake. All things being fair, then sure, parents would not and should turn their kids in when they do grievous wrongs.

By HML

March 15, 2007 1:16 PM | Link to this

My youngest brother is a drug addict/dealer. When I was in college, I found out that he was dealing drugs from his bedroom window and having drug parties iin his room, while the rest of the family slept. It was putting my family in incredible danger as some of these people had violent backgrounds. I called the police. He spent over a year in jail, then another 18 months in rehab. I am confident that if I had not taken action then, that my brother would be dead - by his own hand, a police officer or another drug addice/dealer.He was mad, irrate, irrational but he is alive, a college graduate with a great job and married with a new baby. He has been clean now for almost 6 years.

I would do that again in a heart beat. I am teaching my children to be responsible and accept the consequences - good or bad - of their actions. If my children were in the situation of those kids that set that fire, then yes, I would turn them and make them face the music.

By Cletus Snow

March 15, 2007 1:16 PM | Link to this

Certainly I’d cause them to turn themselves in or turn them in myself.I can’t imagine a parent who would cover for criminal activity of any kind, what kind of example would that be?

By Robert

March 15, 2007 1:21 PM | Link to this

I’d turn him in AFTER I beat his little hind end. Not enough discipline leads to instances like this…

By High School Parent & Educator

March 15, 2007 1:30 PM | Link to this

Painfully, yes - end of discussion. Also, a parent should not run to their childs immediate aid if they dislike the punishment & appeal punishments. I see parents appealing judgements at schools frequently and all the child learned was that their parents could get them out of trouble - and that will not continue on once they get older.

By dontbestupid

March 15, 2007 1:42 PM | Link to this

Don’t be stupid. A felony conviction means they will never vote, hold a decent job, elected or appointed office, attend any college, travel to any foreign country with a background check, own a gun or be allowed to participate as a full fledged citizen in this country. They will be permantly marked the second they are convicted and that information will available on the internet forever, even if they ever manage to get it removed from their record. You might as well stop wasting money on thier education now and send the down to Burge King to practice the phrase ” do you want fries with that” cause that’s all thier life will ever amount to, due a bad descion made one day when they were 7 or 10. Any more mistakes made along the way in thier life will be punished far more than it other wise would.

By momof2

March 15, 2007 1:47 PM | Link to this

In theory yes, I would. And if we are talking about the kinds of things most of you discussed here, absolutely.

What baffles me about that particular insident though, is that it wasn’t some boyish behaviour, some unintentional fire setting. Didn’t these boys break into some plant and take all kinds of things (including gasoline and a lighter)? While I admire the mom for doing the right thing, I just do wonder if it wasn’t too little too late. It appears that those 3 were unsupervised for a long time to be able to pull that stunt.

By August

March 15, 2007 1:48 PM | Link to this

Wow…thank you for sharing your story HML. I agree with many of you, it is a hard decision to make but turning them in is the right thing to do because again you may never know what else their actions could lead to if you do nothing about it. I am a mother too, and I remember paying for the consequences of my actions when I was these young boys age and it was a large lesson learn for me. But it was all worth it in the long run. And parents need to keep in mind that if their child does do something to this extent but the law enforcement does nothing about it to take matters in your own hand, help them learn what is right and wrong, so that your children will know how to take responsiblity for their actions.

By momof2

March 15, 2007 1:49 PM | Link to this

Oh, I almost forgot:

Charles: i serioulsy read your post 3 times and still have no clue what the heck you are talking about.

to dontbestupid: way to go. (I do hope my sarcastic tone comes through here)

By August

March 15, 2007 2:06 PM | Link to this

Yes, I do agree with you Robert. Kids these days get it soo easy from parents and especially from grandparents. We have to pay more attention to our children.

I see more and more of these type of cases on the news and its sad. I still can’t get over the kids who put the puppy in the oven, you know. I am a very young single parent but I must even say this, its at the point now that kids out here are becoming more bored even with all this technology out. I mean kids burning up stuff, putting things in the oven/microwave…they need to be doing more chores, more learning activites, they have too much time on their hands.

I hope the lesson these boys are going to learn from law enforcement will help. But I surely don’t think they need a felony conviction on their record for this, they are still kids! Can they even do that… There are too many other ways to instill the lesson in them rather than damaging their future opportunities.

By v

March 15, 2007 2:16 PM | Link to this

As many of you who are posting have done, I turned my little darlings in when they were 13 and 16. Over a two day period they had committed some serious crimes that humiliated, infuriated and embarassed my extended family. Even if no one else knew about it I would have turned them in. I’m sorry to say that the one incident didn’t stop their life of crime. For one of my children I turned him in over and over and over. The college funds went to pay for rehab and hospitalizations for both sons. It did not, however, EVER pay for their bail. They stayed in as long as it took. It was extremely difficult to have to do this, but I HAD to do this for their own good. My most frequent reply to them during that time was “I’d rather have you alive to hate me than see you dead.” I believe that part of the responsibility of parenting is to be there for the hard times as well as the good times. By the way, had I ever thought that my children were innocent I would have fought as hard as I could on their behalf. But on visitation day I was usually the only parent there with a “guilty” child. Most of the others blamed it all on the law.

By Augusta

March 15, 2007 2:18 PM | Link to this

-I am in no way blaming all parents for their kids action. This boys made a decision to do what they did. It is just our responsibility to be involve in educating them right from wrong even at the time they are suffering the consequences. -

By Cammi317

March 15, 2007 2:19 PM | Link to this

I have introduced my 9 y/o to the MTV show “Juvies.” It helps to “bring the point home” about what happens to kids who cannot or will not listen. She understands that the show is not acting but for real and is literally terrified. I hope the memories of these episodes stay with her for the rest of her life.

By Tonya

March 15, 2007 2:22 PM | Link to this

People, let’s remember that even if these kids are convicted, they will be charged as juvenilles. This means that their records will be sealed one they come of age.

Secondly, as a mother (a black one at that) I think more people need to take this mindset. If my child is ever commits a crime, you best believe I will turn his/her behind in (after I lay into that is). This isn’t some petty theft at that, it’s ARSON!! The justice system is unfair at times, but is still the rule of law. No mattter what, kids of need, as a previous poster indicated, to know there are consequences to their actions. If not, you get what many people have now, boomerang kids who can’t hack the real world on their own and accept ZERO responsibility for their actions.

By Sue

March 15, 2007 2:26 PM | Link to this

It would depend on the crime. If my child committed some horrible crime and I truly thought that he should pay such a heavy price then I would turn him in. If I felt like it was something that could be handled at home, then I would not. I believe in avoiding the criminal justice system for my children at almost all costs. Kids make mistakes and they will almost always pay the price for the rest of their lives if they are sent through the system… Just my thought though.

By D. Aileen Dodd, AJC Writer

March 15, 2007 2:38 PM | Link to this

Hello. Sorry to interrupt. I wrote the story that goes with this blog. I am planning to write about this topic again. If you are a parent who has turned in your child to the police, and you want to share your story for the benefit of other parents, please contact me at 770-263-3860 or email me at adodd@ajc.com. Thanks.

By JUSTAMOM

March 15, 2007 2:39 PM | Link to this

I sure would, after I scold and whipped his behind for doing it. I can’t have a juvenile delinquent running my house. Once they get away with it, it is done lets move on to bigger and badder things. I love my boy but I can not know he is doing wrong and let him think it is ok. I am strict, and I stand my my child no matter what, but I will not have him run a muck for any reason. He will grow up to be a smart well mannered well raised boy even if he thinks I am to hard now he will appreciate it in the end.

By Tonya

March 15, 2007 2:54 PM | Link to this

Sue:

You make an excellent point. ALL wrongs by a child should be addressed, but only the severe ones should require intervention by law enforcement. Some of the posters here have presented some great and effective alternatives that still deal with the bad act but are quite to the extent of calling in the police.

My children fear my wrath, as I feared my parents. Sometimes a parent’s thoughtful and creative discipline can make a police officer seem a saint in a child’s eyes ;)

By Sharon

March 15, 2007 2:57 PM | Link to this

Definately yes! Situational ethics are accepted as the new golden rule!! It would be immoral to let the boys get away with their accidental crime of arson - the boys didn’t mean to burn down the houses of people who had worked all their lives for what they had; the drunk person who got behind the wheel of the car didn’t mean to kill an innocent person either. Regardless of intent, there are consequences to our actions. Juvenile detention for boys that young won’t necessarily accomplish the lesson that needs to be taught but perhaps community service, restitution or even helping the people who lost their homes in some way would make a positive lifelong impression! I applaud the mother of these boys for her bravery in doing the right thing - tough love hurts!!!!

By Maria

March 15, 2007 2:59 PM | Link to this

Must definitely! in fact my son was driving me once to the supermarket and was about to miss the left turn, I told him “don’t worry, go to the next corner and make a u turn” but he wanted to do it his way, so from the center lane he made the left turn. A city of Miami police officer stopped him almost immediately and explained to my son the reason why he had stopped him, my son looks at me and said “I did not do that officer right mom?” to which I replied “yes you did even though I told you not to, officer please go ahead and give him the fine and make sure you write somewhere that he needs to go back to driving school.” On the way to the market he told me you know what mom, I’m glad you did not lie for me because the two of us were going to look very bad and I was going to get a ticket anyway. You have to teach your children that there are always consecuences for your wrong doings, and you can not cover up for them because instead of helping them you are actually hurt them in the long run.

By sharonj

March 15, 2007 3:08 PM | Link to this

Charles, I kind of got where you were going in the first paragraph but then after that you sounded like somebody stole your bike or forgot to get your prescription filled. But to answer the question I agree with V for Vendetta they would rather face the jail than me. So they would probably turn themselves in.

By Eunice

March 15, 2007 3:24 PM | Link to this

As sure as night follows day!

By InWonder

March 15, 2007 3:27 PM | Link to this

Because I KNEW that my mom didn’t “play games”, I kept far from trouble as I could. Even though I did, sometimes I just ended up in the middle of it, she ALWAYS was consistant on making me to get out of “my own messes”. I could tell you without a shadow of a doubt that if I did anything that would in the end would be considered a crime or breaking the law (on any level, public or private) she would turn me in without batting an eye - that helped me from going down the wrong way. I knew what the consequesences were, even from a young age because my age didn’t keep my mom from teaching me about it. (And she at times WAS a single mother and working sometimes more than 2 jobs and yet she knew more about what I was doing than the married, working parents did of their kids - in fact she knew what their kids were doing too and should would tell the other parents who would pretty much tell my mother off - and she DID NOT lie and didn’t believe in lying, in FACT she is a very wise person and still is and it is amazes me how wise she is and she will never tell you she is, she just says it as it is)

By amanda

March 15, 2007 3:31 PM | Link to this

my comment to beam me up scotty. AMEN I am so tired of African Americans always thinking everything is about race. Take the race card out of everything. Life happens to every one no matter what color. GET OVER IT !!!! As far as the real topic here…..my son is only 6 months so Im not sure what I would do. I would just hope I did a good enough job in teaching him in the beginning what is wrong and that hopefully he would not even dare try anything that would get him in to some type of trouble.

By Anon

March 15, 2007 3:36 PM | Link to this

Honestly, it all depends on what I thought of the law. If it was an unjust law, no way, but if it was a law that should be enforced, then yes, I likely would.

If I caught my kids drinking or using drugs, definitely not. If I caught them maliciously destroying property or intentionally harming someone, absolutely.

By Bruce

March 15, 2007 3:41 PM | Link to this

I agree with some of the comments. I would want my child to understand why she is turning herself in. I want to empower her with charcater. Making her do the right thing isn’t going to help her later in life. all thats going to happen if something does happen again all she is going to do is hide from the parents, if she doesn’t know the important question of WHY. Parents don’t take the time to tell their kids why, and not the answer of cause i said so. I mean i don’t completely agree with charles. but i do feel he is right to express his feelings. Also some of ya’ll black people need to get the wool over your eyes that our justices system doesn’t see race. I remember a few years ago here in georiga about the young black man charged with rape of a young white girl. I am not saying race is everything. but don’t act like cause that people aren’t burning crosses in yards anymore. Thats its gone.

By Bruce

March 15, 2007 3:44 PM | Link to this

also why did the comment about charles about him having kids out of wedlock or that he isn’t even taking care of his kids. Did that comment come because you knew he was black, i bet you wouldn’t have made that comment if charles was white.

By lisa

March 15, 2007 3:49 PM | Link to this

That’s what’s wrong with society today. Would this question even be asked 20-30 years ago. Right is Right, Wrong is wrong! I have always let my kids know, you break the law, you are on your own!

By Tough Mom

March 15, 2007 4:26 PM | Link to this

Like many of the other parents here, my son knew that if he committed a crime he would have to deal with me first BEFORE I hauled him in to the police . . . that proved to be an effective deterrent. He shoplifted some gum, once, when he was 8, at the grocery store – and as soon as I discovered it I turned the car around and hauled him right back to the store manager’s office. That was the end of his life of crime. The reason we have so many youthful criminals is because their parents don’t teach them accountability for their actions . . . of course, apparently no one taught their parents either, and the cycle just goes on and on . . .

Even though these kids are indeed young, they were PLAYING WITH FIRE – literally – another of those childhood behaviors (like cruelty to animals) that portends really serious problems later on in life. They need to be dealt with NOW.

I agree with Sharon – as punishment, make these kids work to help restore the neighborhood they destroyed. They’re not too young to make restitution with a little sweat equity.

By msteven

March 15, 2007 4:26 PM | Link to this

I have no children. Only 4 dogs. german shepherds. 2yrs ago one of my 3yr old shepherds went got out through a hole. barked at my neighbor who claimed he tried to attack him(yeah whatever!) still, Got rid of my dog(as he really was very hard head) If I had a child and he she did something very wrong or against the law, or caused harm or someone burned out. Hell yeah I would turn his butt in. that is if i dont have kill him myself.:-/Infact they would be safer at the police station then my house.

By Crazy

March 15, 2007 4:37 PM | Link to this

What does any of this have to do with Slavery, or being black or white??? Yes I would turn my kids in!

By Responsible black mom

March 15, 2007 4:54 PM | Link to this

Frankly, Bruce, yes, I myself would assume Charles is a habitual, irresponsible “baby planter” who has a number of baby mamas who he has disrespected & never did the right thing by & I say this from coming up in a neighborhood where so many of our men have indulged in that behavior which is why I have worked hard & gotten myself out of that environment & yes, no child of mine is going to get away with ANY kind of ghetto or criminal activity if I have any say!

By none

March 15, 2007 5:13 PM | Link to this

If the crime was serious enough then Yes of course. But it would have to be something bad. Otherwise I am his judge and jury and I would punish him as I see fit.

By ELLE

March 15, 2007 5:22 PM | Link to this

I applaud all of you parents that say you would.

I don’t know that I could do this. I can’t speak about the children in the article as I don’t know them.

I am someone that considers herself a “good parent” in every sense. I have raised 2 young men (College Sophmore, and Freshman), and we have an elementary aged child.

We have both played strong roles in our children’s lives. This story for me in the unimaginable.

There was the time one boy threw a rock and damaged a “brand new” truck. I paid several hundred dollars for that. It was an accident, we had him apologize, we explained how he damaged the man’s truck, and assigned extra chores. We never had any additional problems!

Please know, that MONEY really hurt… That is NOTHING compared to this.

These kids are young, and I don’t believe they were guilty of deliberately destroying the homes.

They seemed guilty of “POOR supervision”. And because of this they killed an animal, and DESTROYED irreplaceable possessions.

I believe, they need help… NOT criminal justice.

Growing up I recall many kids playing with matches, and burning things. I can only guess that kids will do things like this, without enough supervision. Meaning that this may just make them typical kids, not necessarily juvenile delinquents.

By November

March 15, 2007 6:15 PM | Link to this

Charles you are an idiot. It’s too bad you have children.

Damn, the sadest thing about you is the fact that you think you’re smart.

…and you have kids. I hope that you ARE NOT in their lives.

Stupid …BTW, I’m black!

By observer

March 15, 2007 6:21 PM | Link to this

I saw first hand the results of family members turning their heads while their teenage son/grandson became a crack addict….and then burned down a neighbor’s garage. Thankfully the garage was detached from the house, allowing the owner to escape death or injury.

The boy’s family gave the police a false alibi, and he continues to roam the streets. And, by the way, this teen is African American, and the police did not even question him. I personally find it unconscionable that the law (not to mention his family) would look the other way when the boy is crying out for help. All human life is precious - but so easily wasted.

By Anon

March 15, 2007 6:43 PM | Link to this

Damaging someone’s truck with a rock and burning down someone’s home just don’t equate to me. But, if that’s how you parented your sons that’s you. Poor supervision also played a part but at some point they had to know this was wrong and that something like this would happen. It would break my heart but I would have to turn my child in. These people’s lives have been altered forever and what these boys did was criminal. (although unintentional) I don’t think they should be put in any detention but some kind of punishment must be meted to show them that actions have consequences.

By Me

March 15, 2007 7:14 PM | Link to this

The burning down of homes was unintentional. Breaking into a shop and stealing tools was criminal AND intentional!

By Mom

March 15, 2007 8:31 PM | Link to this

No, a felony conviction does not automatically mean you can’t vote, own a gun etc - even as an adult under the First Offender Act you get those rights back after you finish your sentence - I know since this happened to me a long time ago. And this is in juvie cout - sealed records.

By catlady

March 15, 2007 9:45 PM | Link to this

While I agree with and appreciate most of the support stated here for parents supporting legal and ethical behavior, I have to ask this question: which schools do your children go to? I want to teach there! What teachers see is NOTHING like what has been expressed by most parents on this blog! We hear 90% “he didn’t mean to”, “the rule isn’t fair”, “he didn’t do it”, “you have something against him”, or “I am gonna sue”, rather than parents expecting and demanding the best from their kids. And I see no difference between wealthy, middle class, or poor on this one. So, PLEASE, tell me which schools serve these kids, so I can transfer there!!!

By LIVE FREE

March 15, 2007 10:50 PM | Link to this

These boys are not your so called “little innocence”, although many of you would want to make others believe. They put people’s lives in danger, destroyed property (sure it can be replaced) they should be punished period. I know they teach fire safety in school, wonder which one they went too.

As far as the parent(s) go, she knew these boys were causing trouble prior to this incident otherwise she would not have easily suspected their behavior.

They need to be punished just like any other juvenile who has done similar crimes. That is the problem with many people you do not want to punish children when it is warranted and that is why they are running around not fearing anyone. What they really needed was a good spanking?

I am so sick and tired of these damn whining people who cry child abuse when a parent disciplines their children. Maybe, just maybe if you disciplined your children they would not be throwing temper tantrum in the store and you calling for time out. Learn to take control your brats. There is a difference between discipline and abusing them.

These boys certain needed supervision.

By Me

March 16, 2007 8:36 AM | Link to this

I have told my child on many occasions that if she breaks the law, she better get on her hands and knees and pray that the police get to her before I do.

It is reassuring to see so many say that they would turn their kids in. I have the philosophy that my child is guilty until proven innocent. It may sound harsh, but it is the way of life in my house.

Kids will do what you let them get away with. If there isn’t some punishment for these 3 kids, I am scared of what they will be like in 5 years.

By Charles

March 16, 2007 8:55 AM | Link to this

My God, I can’t believe you all are attempting to explain away my post on March 15, 2007, at 11:05 AM some seven hours later, March 15, 2007, at 6:15 PM by slandering my good name. Although, the truth is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart…

Why do the heathen rage, and the people imagine a vain thing?

The kings of the earth set themselves, and the rulers take counsel together, against the LORD, and against his anointed, saying,

Let us break their bands asunder, and cast away their cords from us.

He that sitteth in the heavens shall laugh: the LORD shall have them in derision.

Then shall he speak unto them in his wrath, and vex them in his sore displeasure…

I’ve got to go to work everybody. You all have a good day.

By momof2

March 16, 2007 9:26 AM | Link to this

I still have no clue what Charles is talking about.

By Wanda

March 16, 2007 9:40 AM | Link to this

You bet I would! They could have killed someone or themselves. They could be taught when they are young.

By Laurie

March 16, 2007 9:41 AM | Link to this

I will say by experience, when my son was 12-15 yrs old, I would try and protect him anyway I knew how. Now that he is 18 yrs old, I see that I can’t do that anymore because he will never learn. I wish I would have let him take his punishments from the beginning. Even though he blames me now for not standing up for him and “not caring” as he puts it, I know I am doing the right thing. When he is older, he will realize that.

By Elizabeth

March 16, 2007 10:08 AM | Link to this

Arson is a crime, even if the kids are too young to fully grasp the consequences. A parent covering up a crime is also committing a crime. So parents need to be prepared to answer to the criminal justice system, too, if they take this route.

By Maggie

March 16, 2007 10:28 AM | Link to this

At 7 years old I should hope they know by know that fire can burn, can be uncontrolable and is unpredicable. All three of those kids should know that, it isn’t rocket science that fire can distroy and they have been teaching about fire safety to our children from the time they start K-5 as far back as I can remember (it was around during the early/mid 1980’s when I was in elementary school). Yet it seems that everyone acts that these kids had no idea what fire could do - poor them. I can understand that these kids didn’t mean to burn down those houses, but they did know if they lit something on fire, it will spread - but they didn’t know where. If kids today are getting younger and younger having sex, and we want to educate them about it younger and younger. Both have the ablility to distroy lives, but yet we excuse the fire to “they don’t know better” and make the sex “ok” because “we educated them and tell them to use protection”. We DO educate them about fire, yet we hardly hear about that and plenty about sex education to elementary aged-kids… We really need to wake up here.

By ELLE

March 16, 2007 11:13 AM | Link to this

I agree that the kids should be punished. Spanking, I don’t know what else.

I personally believe in spankings. I also believe that you have to demand respect from your children from the beginning. As the authority figure in the home all begins with YOU the parent/s.

These kids are already in “lock up”… which is likely to forever change them. This could be a “scared straight” moment for them!

I ALSO believe that the failure to “PROPERLY SUPERVISE” should fall squarely on an ADULT. The person that failed to “PROPERLY SUPERVISE” has “in my opinion” contributory negligence.

The person that failed (unfortunately the grandmother), should be accountable for some of the restitution.

If the kids were already “PROBLEM CHILDREN”, the “PARENTS” should pay a HUGE CHUNK of the restitution.

By V for Vendetta

March 16, 2007 11:49 AM | Link to this

Nice Charles, why am I not surprised that someone like you is so slavishly devoted to something as vacuuous and discriminating as organized religion.

Let he who is without sin cast the first stone. Remember that one? Only when it’s conveniant? Thought so.

By Publius

March 17, 2007 1:10 PM | Link to this

The fact that these kids were able to even commit such an act as arson means that their “upbringing” doomed them to be a burden on society. You people who think that these kids will be “scared straight” are living in a dream world. The subculture that produces kids like this is ruining this country.

By Debbie

March 17, 2007 11:29 PM | Link to this

yes, but only alongside an attorney to protect the child’s rights. and I would be sure that there was no corruption going on. too many in the police/court field are corrupt and the child could possibly be abused by them.