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DEL.ICIO.USHomecoming: A dose of reality
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
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| Elissa Eubanks / AJC |
| When Dr. Guy Gober returned from a four-month tour in Iraq, his next challenge was adjusting to changes on the homefront. |
When you hear that a man had a four-month tour in Iraq, you think, “Well, at least he didn’t have to serve a year.”
Dr. Guy Gober went early in the war as a combat physician with the 214th Field Artillery of the Georgia National Guard. Before he left, he too was comforted by the phrase four-month tour. He figured he’d do his stint as a battalion surgeon then, God willing, come back safe and sound to his wife, six kids and their home in the Blue Ridge mountains of Tiger. How much could really change while he was gone?
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| Elissa Eubanks/AJC |
| Gober and his daughter, Georgia, 13, reconnect by playing golf in Clayton. |
Gober did come back safe and sound, still soft spoken with an easy smile. Now the war has been going on four years, and the current troop increase means there’s a good chance the 55-year-old colonel could be sent back to Iraq. Of course, he’d go willingly because he believes in the Army. But there is a price for sacrifice. He’s reminded of what can happen while you’re away:
Your 16- and 15-year-old sons learn how to chop wood on their own to help keep the house warm.
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As the oldest male in the house, the 16-year-old assumes the authoritarian role. When you return, he does not want to give it up. It is hard for him to become just a boy again. It is hard for you to realize he’ll never again be just a boy.
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Your wife essentially becomes a single parent in charge of a brood ages 3 to 16. When she can, she helps out at your urology practice with bookkeeping and such to make sure the business stays afloat. When she’s feeling overwhelmed, your daughters learn to comfort her.
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Your 11-year-old daughter takes on a 4-H project making care packages to send to Iraq. She realizes that the busier she stays with sports and friends — willing herself to think of anything but the war — the less she likely she is to worry about you.
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The oldest daughter becomes more quiet and introspective. She seems to feel her mother’s sadness the deepest of all.
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The youngest child’s love for puppies and Daddy grows stronger.
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Your second-oldest son writes you a letter recounting all the things you taught him that he’s thankful for, such as how to throw a ball, how to ride a bike. He writes, “Thanks Dad.” Reading it in Iraq, you realize for the first time that your children know they may never see you again.
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Three birthdays and Christmas come and go. You look forward to the next year when, you tell yourself, you’ll be home to celebrate.
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There’s a glee in your kids’ voices when they hear yours on the other end of the phone in Iraq. They’ve never sounded quite like that.
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Some of your children become anti-military. Some can’t support it enough.
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You begin to feel that the men and women who serve for a year or more are just plain stronger than you are.
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You vow to listen more carefully, to your kids, your wife but also to the Army. Before you left Iraq, the Army sat you down along with other returning soldiers. You were told that the world at home would be changed when you got back, that there would be a new order at the house. They told you this through speakers, in questionnaires and on videos.
You didn’t pay attention. You believed you’d already survived the real storm.
Permalink | Comments (1) | Categories: Reports from the Homefront
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By Deb
March 29, 2007 1:23 PM | Link to this
Great article, it brought tears to my eyes, my husband served a year in Iraq with the Army Guard and I’m so glad it’s over…it’s so hard on the one leaving and also the one staying behind….thank you for your service and for sharing.