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November 2006
There’s hope in the routine of life
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
I’ve missed a bunch of things since I had my stroke in July.
You don’t realize how much of a routine your life really is – and how much you can miss that routine – until it’s interrupted.
For me it was actually more of a stop than an interruption.
While y’all were commuting to work, I was learning how to walk again. While you were deciding what to wear, I was learning how to get dressed and how to shower myself again.
I miss being able to work. My first morning in the hospital, I told my boss how sorry I was that I was ill and that I would return to work as soon as I could. I worried about how I would finish all the projects I had.
I didn’t realize that I would have to retrain my brain how to write, even how to speak. The information is there. I’ve been working on finding new paths to get the information from my brain onto paper.
I’ve been doing my exercises daily, going to rehab twice a week, working hard in preparation for my return to life and reality. I walk through hallways, neighborhood streets, then up and down stairs.
I can even make it to my condominium now. When I’m not staying at my parents’ house, I get to spend a couple of hours a day there, and spend the night there every now and again, watching football with my roommate or movies with some friends.
During those visits I get to see my cat. Junior the Imperious has been remarkable throughout all of this. He even manages to treat me like he knows who I am. It’s important to keep your pet fed and watered so that he knows who you are, even if your roommate spoils him too much.
I read the paper and keep up with the news, though I admit that my aches and stumbles and frustrations from working with a broken body sometimes take me away from Nancy Pelosi or the latest in Iraq.
I miss driving myself around. I’ve just started to do that a little bit again, which has made me discover something I definitely don’t miss.
Traffic.
Traffic never seems to go away. I had a respite from it when I was in the hospital. For five weeks, I didn’t even see a road.
Then I had to jump right back into driving to get to rehab, doctors’ appointments, get haircuts, go grocery shopping and take care of other errands.
They are widening Old Peachtree and North Berkeley Lake roads. There’s a new traffic light on Pleasant Hill and construction workers there are digging a road beneath the railroad tracks.
Judging from the stress I felt driving in those areas, I can only imagine what kind of pain rush hour instills in the weak of heart.
Although traffic bothers me, it has made me realize that the more things change, the more they stay the same.
After the stroke I felt like I was lost, but traffic makes me feel like I was never really away. It reminds me that I’m getting better because I’m getting back to my routine - even if that means I’m stuck in traffic!
Permalink | Comments (3) | Post your comment | Categories: Bill Allen
Do you have an n-word double standard?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Michael Richards, who played the goofy neighbor Cosmo Kramer on “Seinfeld,” recently made ugly racial remarks and used the n-word after two black men allegedly heckled him during his comedy routine.
Richards, who was rightfully taken to the whipping shed about his racially insensitive remarks, has apologized for his hate-filled language. Hopefully, he has learned his lesson, has had a change heart and genuinely won’t want to use such distasteful language in public or in private again.
What bewilders me is the double standard that millions of African-Americans and others have when it comes to who can use the n-word.
We cringe and become outraged when any white or non-black person uses the demeaning word. Yet even those of us who dislike the word and never utter the n-word ourselves have an eerie tolerance and acceptance when African-Americans refer to each other this way.
Updated hip-hop versions of the n-word are often part of the repertoire of black comedians and the lyrics of black rappers.
Many of the same people who are angry at Richards for his use of the n-word spend good money to buy the CDs and attend the performances of African-Americans who use the n-word throughout their work.
Moreover, many African-American youth have claimed the word and use it with familiarity and camaraderie with each other. They are seemingly indifferent to the historical roots as well as the psychological pain and exclusion that the word has caused for countless other black people.
The other day while visiting a convenience store in my Duluth neighborhood a trio of young black men who appeared to be in their late teens to early 20s casually called each other the n-word and other expletives.
I cringed inside with embarrassment each time they spoke that infamous word. There were no white people in the store, but I wondered what the Indian clerks and the Latino customers thought, if anything , about hearing the young black men shout the n-word.
I wanted to pull one or all of those young men aside and share with them my pain in hearing that word spoken by anyone, but especially by them.
I know that words reveal our innermost thoughts and I prayed that deep inside those young men really don’t believe that they or their buddies are that word.
I lacked the courage to speak up that day. I should have said something to them about using that degrading and inflammatory word. If the offenders had been white I would’ve dug deep inside myself and found my voice. I was uncomfortably confronted with a double standard.
Why could I have found the courage to challenge racists and not the courage to counsel misguided young black men who could be my sons about the perils of the n-word?
This inconsistency about who can use the n-word and who can’t is the reason the word still thrives among whites and blacks.
The next time I hear that vile word used by anyone, I will challenge them. I promise.
Do you respond differently to whites or blacks who use the n-word? Why?
Permalink | Comments (18) | Categories: Beni Dakar
Forget Thanksgiving. Ready to shop?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Forget about Thanksgiving. Are you ready for Black Friday?
Black Friday, which is the Friday following Thanksgiving, is a day longed for by both sellers and shoppers. It is the busiest shopping day of the year.
For countless Americans who are able to enjoy an extended Thanksgiving weekend shared with family and friends, it is a perfect segue into the official holiday season.
It is a day when millions of consumers begin their holiday shopping in preparation for the many holiday feasts, gatherings, and gift exchanges that will occur through the start of the New Year.
Many retailers use special early bird store hours, promotions, and coupons to lure bargain hunting consumers into their stores. For many businesses Black Friday sales are relied upon to give their year-end profit margins a boost.
“Black Friday was when retailers went from being unprofitable, or “in the red,” to being profitable, or “in the black”, at a time when accounting records were kept by hand and red indicated loss and black profit”, says Melody Vargas who is the guide to the retail industry at About.com.
A savvy holiday marketing tool that I received in my email from Mill Creek Specialty Shop offers sage shopping advice that I want to pass along:
SHOP WISELY: Know who you’re dealing with. Protect your privacy. While online order only on a secure server. Guard your online password. Pay the safest way
KNOW YOUR RIGHTS: Check the refund and return policy. Read the fine print. Check delivery dates. Review warranties.
GET THE BEST DEAL: Compare prices. Check shipping and handling fees. Order early to allow plenty of time for shipment and delivery. Keep Good Records. Track your purchases. Keep receipts & website printouts.
Have a Happy Thanksgiving!
Will you participate in the Black Friday frenzy? As a consumer? As a retailer or employee? Or both?
What advice do you have for smart and safe holiday shopping?
Permalink | Comments (3) | Categories: Beni Dakar
Pardon the interruption but I have a good excuse!
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Hello friends and neighbors. I’m sorry to have been away from you for so long. I had a stroke on July 30, and I’m starting to get back into the swing of things.
I had been awake since 10 a.m. that day, checking e-mail, playing computer games. By 1 p.m., there was nothing on TV, and I didn’t feel like eating lunch at Waffle House, so I concluded that it would be a perfect time for a nap.
My bed seemed more comfortable than my couch, so I headed toward the bedroom.
My foot wouldn’t work.
I sprawled on the floor with my left leg making a pretzel shape under me. I tried to right myself, but my leg wouldn’t move. I reached for the sofa and pulled myself upright and, after a couple of unsure steps, made my way into the bedroom.
I lay down on the bed and closed my eyes, but my body didn’t feel right, and it was anything but restful. I opened my eyes, then got up to head for the bathroom, but I collapsed on the floor. Again.
I reached for the dresser, trying in a panic to get to my feet. My arm wasn’t working so well, either. I got to the bathroom, swallowed two aspirin and drank a big glass of water. Something was very wrong.
I made my way outside, across the sidewalk and up the steps to the parking lot. I walked across the pavement, barefoot in the grass, then back down the steps into my condo. My brain was disoriented.
I called my parents, told them that something was very wrong, asked if they could come over. Mom asked if I should just call an ambulance while they met me at a hospital, but there was no way. Aside from the fact that I was too cheap to pay for it, I had no wish to stir up a hullabaloo amidst my neighbors, so I told them to meet me at my home. That was at 1:45 p.m.
My parents were there in 15 minutes. They talked to me, checked to see if my speech was slurred, if I could keep my arms together. They knew better than I did that this was not right. They drove me to the emergency room at Joan Glancy Hospital. I got in the car and then into the emergency room, and those are the last normal steps I have taken since.
I was in the hospital and in-patient rehabilitation for five weeks. My left arm and leg weren’t working. My speech and cognitive processes were a little injured, but I fared much better than I could have.
Joan Glancy has been great with me. From the nurses to the therapists who worked with me while I was in the hospital, to the therapists who continue to work with me as I recuperate, to the doctors and administrators who helped fix me up and who help me continue to get better — I owe you all the greatest of thanks.
I go to outpatient rehabilitation twice a week to continue recuperation. I have picked up a new brace to improve my walking with a cane.
Three months ago I was confined to a wheelchair, but my physical therapists helped me work hard to walk. Three months ago my arm was limp, and I couldn’t even dress myself, but my occupational therapists helped me work diligently to get my life back and to soon return to work. I am now using a device that will help my arm and hand get stronger.
Today, I can talk well, but I have to slow down a little to make sure I don’t miss anything. And I can write, because my speech therapists helped me work hard to grasp my communication skills and work with what I have. And, I am writing to you again in the AJC.
Strokes are the third leading cause of death, according to the National Center for Health Statistics, at 150,147 last year. It turns out that I have Type 2 diabetes. Twenty million Americans have diabetes, but 6.7 million don’t know it. I was one who didn’t know.
My parents have been nothing but wonderful, my company has been working with me to get healed and come back to the office. And I get by with a little help from my friends.
All in all, I’d say that I’m pretty damn lucky.
Note: I’ll be back every other week, until I get used to life again. And just when you thought were rid of me….
To see photos of Bill before and after his stroke, please see below:
Permalink | Comments (12) | Categories: Bill Allen
Is a third-party vote a wasted vote?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
“A cord of three strands is not quickly broken” is written in Ecclesiastes 4:12. Likewise, I think that three or more political parties make sure that our democracy remains strong.
On Sunday November 5, I attended the final debate among the three candidates for Georgia governor.
I saw them up close and in a revealing way what television audiences miss. And for the first time I really saw and listened to Libertarian candidate Garrett Michael Hayes.
I believe that Hayes helped to elevate the debate and kept it from becoming a tragicomic spectacle. He offered thoughtful and well-articulated, substantial answers that were more impressive than the predictable sound bites given by his opponents.
I found myself, a ‘yellow dog Democrat,’ agreeing with Hayes on issues including small business development, stem cell research and how to respond to the methamphetamine epidemic.
I left the debate wanting to know more about him and his party.
I realized that many people, like me, shortchange their voting capital by only considering candidates from the two major parties.
I now think that it’s wise to consider the candidates and platforms of other smaller parties. They can offer new ways of thinking about old issues and make us conscious of things that currently aren’t part of the political smorgasbord - but should be.
Steve Perkins, 31, a software developer, and Libertarian activist who lives in Duluth says, “Libertarians have been an effective runoff and spoiler threat for some time now.” Perkins cites both the 1992 and 1996 Georgia senatorial elections.
An article that ran in the AJC in October backs up Perkins’ claim:
“In 1996, when Democrat Max Cleland won the U.S. Senate race, Jack Cashin, the Libertarian candidate, received 80,000 votes. Many felt those votes came at the expense of Republican candidate, Guy Millner, who lost to Cleland by 28,000 votes.”
“In 1992, Libertarian Senate candidate Jim Hudson forced a runoff between Democrat Wyche Fowler and eventual winner Republican Paul Coverdell. In the general election, Fowler received 35,000 more votes than Coverdell but failed to get the required 50 percent - perhaps because Hudson siphoned away about 70,000 votes.”
Perkins, who is also webmaster for the Gwinnett Libertarians, reports that about 360 Gwinnettians are on the Libertarian’s mailing list. The Gwinnett and Dekalb Libertarians meet monthly.
Perkins says that most of the Libertarians he knows are white and college educated. Men outnumber women about 60 percent to 40 percent. But membership is open to anyone who shares their political outlook.
You can read about them online: www.lpgeorgia.com/gwinnett/
Although third party candidates might find it difficult to win elections, I believe they help strengthen democracy.
Assertive third parties give voters more choice and enable them to leverage their political power and influence political outcomes in new ways.
I hope third parties such as the Libertarians will continue to seek to have their ideas heard and their candidates on the ballot.
I also hope that American voters will give third party candidates the audience and respect they deserve, including seriously considering voting for third party candidates. I know that I will.
Do you think voting for a third party candidate is a wasted vote? Did you vote for a third party candidate or do a write in vote this election? Why?
Permalink | Comments (10) | Categories: Beni Dakar
Gwinnett’s street race case and my own dumb decision
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Decisions determine destiny. Either by design or default, our lives are a summary of prior decisions that we or others made.
Sometimes one unfortunate decision will reverberate long after a deed is done.
Sorrowfully, many people - especially teenagers - do not understand how important it is to try to consistently make the right choices until confronted with the consequences of a wrong choice.
Wendy Jennings and Susan Osley, both 20, continue to be bombarded with the fallout of their foolhardy decision three and a half years ago to race their BMWs on Peachtree Parkway in Norcross.
Jennings said she has no memory of the race or the crash. Osley said she did it “I guess to get a rush.” What she found instead was death and devastation.
Both vehicles were traveling at more than 80 miles per hour. Jennings unable to control her car, crossed the median, flipped, and slammed into the Honda Accord driven by Julia Burns, 61, of Duluth. Burns was killed.
Jennings’ boyfriend and passenger Jacob Miller, 17, was also killed.
The women do accept responsibility for their roles in the crash and pled guilty to vehicular homicide. They were sentenced on Thursday, November 2.
“What a waste,” said Gwinnett Superior Court Judge Richard Winegarden while issuing sentences to the two defendants. Jennings received five years in prison and 10 years probation. Osley received fours years in prison and 11 years probation.
Hopefully for the families of those killed the sentencing of the women will bring about some sense of closure.
However, the sad end results will likely continue. The families of Burns and Miller are still mourning their needless deaths.
“The last 3 1/2 years have been very difficult,” said Jill Burns, Julia Burns’ daughter, as reported in the AJC. “It is hard for us to deal with Christmas, Easter and Mother’s Day.”
Likewise, the lives of the defendants are irrevocably changed.
While their peers are in college or beginning careers, the women will start serving their prison sentences. Their lives will be subject to court control until middle age.
One poor choice will echo in multiple lives for generations.
When I was 16 and a passenger in my friend Diane’s car, we were challenged by a carload of boys to a race down one of our city’s main thoroughfares.
Misplaced ideas about feminism coupled with youthful exuberance and a flawed belief that bad things only happened to other people inspired us to accept their challenge.
By sheer grace none of us crashed and no one was hurt or killed.
Afterwards, Diane and I both knew we had done a dangerous and dumb thing.
I never participated in or encouraged anyone else to be involved in such reckless and irresponsible behavior again.
Reading about Jennings’ and Osley’s ill-fated decision to drag race reminds me of how fortunate we were.
It gives me pause to think that my one very poor youthful decision could have impacted lives decades later.
Did you make a decision, bad or good, as a teenager that still has consequences for you as an adult?
Have you ever made a poor decision, but luckily escaped devastating consequences?
Permalink | Comments (24) | Categories: Beni Dakar
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