Home > Duluth.Talk > Archives > 2006 > August > 15 > Entry
DEL.ICIO.USAre you broke but hiding it?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Wherever you look, poverty and homelessness and near homelessness in Gwinnett County look surprisingly a lot like you.
Many Americans take counterfeit comfort in thinking of the poor as having almost exclusively black or brown faces. Or they think people are poor because they dropped out of high school, have chronic substance or alcohol abuse problems, are mentally or emotionally unstable or are simply irresponsible and idle people.
But the reality is the face of poverty in America – including Gwinnett – can be one of any color. Moreover, many struggling with destitution have college educations or military training, are not on drugs or booze, are as sane as the next man or woman and strive to be responsible and contributing members of society.
Many of the poor and near poor are indistinguishable from us. They are economically fragile people with middle class veneers. Often they’ve had a run of ‘bad luck’ that depleted their savings. Many have lost their homes due to foreclosure or are no longer credit worthy. And without any savings, a stable home, and good credit it is very difficult to rejoin the middle class.
Last spring while volunteering at senior facility I met a well-scrubbed and bright-faced nurse who was among the newly poor.
She was the substitute for the usual program nurse who was away for an extended time. She quickly fell into the programs routine and everyone instantly liked her. Participants, care givers, and staff felt both confident and at ease with her.
A few weeks into her position, she told us that she had a crisis. Her tenuous existence was threatened because she needed to pay for car repairs and rent at the extended-stay hotel in Gwinnett where she and her son lived.
She wanted to know if someone could put them up for a few days, until she received her next weekly paycheck.
She relied upon her car to get to nursing assignments and without it she would be unable to support herself and her son. Paying for the car repairs meant that she could not afford the entire weekly rent at the hotel.
If she had not revealed her predicament we would have never suspected she was economically insecure. She is, after all, a registered nurse. She is self-assured, articulate, punctual and strives to please her employer.
This woman does not use dope and cannot be called slothful. She appears to be emotionally stable considering her unstable life. Her poverty is the result of a failed marriage in a city far away from family and friends who might be able to offer her emotional and economic support while she makes the transition from being part of a two-income household to a struggling single mom.
She looks like you and me.
She easily blends into any work or social setting without anyone knowing that she wrestles to have shelter, food, appropriate clothing, safe and reliable transportation, and, most of all, human dignity.
And before you judge this woman, keep in mind that most of us are only one failed marriage, one layoff, or one health crisis away from being just like her: A person who looks, sounds, and acts middle class but who is battling - and mostly losing - a war against chronic poverty.
Are you financially poor with a middle class veneer? Do you know someone who appears middle class, but is fighting poverty?
Permalink | Comments (14) | Categories: Beni Dakar
Comments
Commenting is now closed for this entry.
By katie
August 15, 2006 07:14 AM | Link to this
I feel bad for this womans, she is in a tough spot. She appears to be a hard worker who ran into tough times However, many in her position are living life above their means. I see so many people driving brand new, expensive cars but yet live in low income housing. I don’t feel sorry for people who have to have the most expensive items (cars or clothing) when they can’t even afford to feed their own children. I don’t feel sorry for the woman or man in the grocery store check out line with 5 or 6 kids using food stamps. If they are verticle they can work—no excuses. If you can’t afford kids don’t have them. I don’t feel sorry for the people who think ‘looking good’ is more important than an education. This does not apply to any particular skin color, it’s whites, blacks, hispanics or asians. It’s a mind set and people have to live within their means.
By payyourway
August 15, 2006 08:28 AM | Link to this
I am in total agreement with Katie’s comments. The woman described in the article is obviously trying to overcome some tough times. I have absolutely no problem with her receiving aid so that she can get back on her feet. But this should be a temporary fix, not a lifestyle change. I worked hard for everything I have, and do not live above my income. I think steam literally comes out of my ears when I am line at the grocery store and see someone with multiple kids using food stamps - it is even worse when I see that same person get into a more expensive car than I have. If you could not afford to feed one child, why in the world did you have three more?? It is about personal responsibility and accountability.
By metoo
August 15, 2006 12:17 PM | Link to this
I understand completely. I am a repected teacher in the communtiy and no one would suspect that I have $30,000 worth of credit card debt. I only make a little over $50,000 a year. I can’t blame anyone but myself. It is my own fault. I do make my house payment every month. That is my number one priority. I have taken a second part-time job, but I still live every month in fear that I will lose everything.
By k
August 15, 2006 12:40 PM | Link to this
I still fight the affect of an 8 month layoff 2 years ago. I don’t strive to have expensive clothes or “look good.” Thank God my car was already paid for. The reality is that anyone with ambition and willing to work can not get “temporary” assistance. It took me 2 meetings with workers at a local government agency before I finally gave up on that help. Truth is at the time, I could not continue to commit the gas to going to the office for another required meeting. I was only looking for food stamps to help get me through. Thank you for writing this article. I know more people who are struggling day to day but will not admit it. I admit it and hope that this is a part of my economic recovery. I want to add that my highest level of education includes a master’s degree and I know of various others with college plus degrees. Metoo know that you are not alone.
By LHK
August 15, 2006 01:08 PM | Link to this
I see this phenomenon a lot among young people, particularly those who grew up in middle-class or upper-middle-class families. They spent their formative years being able to have whatever they wanted, and grow into their 20s without realizing that the trappings of a middle-class lifestyle must be accompanied by a middle-class salary. I know people within my age group (mid 20s) who regularly drop $100 - $150 at Barnes and Noble (libraries exist, people!) or put designer jeans and handbags on their credit cards. Perhaps they don’t feelt the effects of this now, but they will if they lose their job or have a car accident or some sort of health crisis. Your 20s are a great time to work on getting out of student loan debt and/or building a savings account.
I have a co-worker who’s told me about his massive debts. His credit is so poor that he can’t even get a credit card for emergencies. He’s got medical bills and mountains of other loans. And yet… he’s apparently dropping over a thousand dollars on preparations for DragonCon (costume, hotel room, etc.). I’ve still got some sympathy for the guy because of his health problems, but — sheesh! One shouldn’t live like a (geeky) king if one is in many thousands of dollars of debt. He’s in his 30s now, and I fear he will move into middle-age with all of his debt still trailing behind him.
By Methree
August 15, 2006 06:45 PM | Link to this
I am also an educator, with several degrees. My kids are grown, and my spouse left about 10 years ago. I put my 2 kids through college. My family wanted to stay in this house, but now it is too expensive for me to keep up, and help with college expenses. I put the house up for sale, but if someone doesn’t buy it soon, I don’t know what will happen. I’ve always been careful with money, but now I am really falling behind. Do you think Bush cares? I think not. I don’t blame people who have a lot of kids for being irresponsible, what are the alternatives? I do think they must be abusing the system when I see them getting with food stamps, and getting into expensive cars. That I don’t like.
By Responsible
August 16, 2006 10:28 AM | Link to this
OK, Methree … I felt a little simpathy for you until your “Do you think Bush cares?” comment. What does Bush have to do with YOUR personal economic problems - absolutely nothing. There are VERY FEW instances in life that are beyond our control and we cannot be financially responsible for ourselves. The vast majority of Americans are in debt because of their own personal actions - they only have themselves to blame.
By Kevin
August 16, 2006 01:00 PM | Link to this
I see a lot of people who face what this woman is facing. I also see comments here from people like “metoo” who are living with tremendous debt and tension in their lives.
Finally I see some comments by people blaming others for their situation.
Folks, don’t blame anybody else for where you are in life.
I’d like to offer hope to those of you who are facing these debt burdens or are just one paycheck from being homeless. Or maybe your mortgage rate has just recently climbed through the roof and you can’t pay it.
Take a look on the internet for an organization called Crown Financial Ministries. I’m a volunteer budget counselor trained by Crown, working through my church, Hebron Church. You do not have to be a Christian to receive advice from Crown. Please call Crown or Hebron and ask for an appointment to get some help. I’ve seen lives changed in incredible ways.
By Marina
August 16, 2006 04:14 PM | Link to this
Thank you, Beni, for sharing a slice of life today that is uncomfortable to talk about. We need to lift the sense of shame about financial circumstances so people can be more proactive to improve their circumstances. You don’t have to do it alone — there are trusted local resources to help. The IMPACT! HomeOwnership Center operates a Home Investment Academy and provides free, confidential housing counseling services.
[www.theimpactgroup.org] Call 678-808-4477 for more information.
Consumer behavior contributes to financial challenges, and economic conditions today do not help. Household incomes are not rising as fast as the costs for housing, energy, health care, and gasoline.
By Dave
August 16, 2006 06:00 PM | Link to this
Wow! Where are some of you bloggers coming from? Blaming Bush for you problems. Wanting to put people on welfare because they have overwhelming CREDIT CARD debt. Give me a break. Most of the whiners made bad choices, and now are crying for help because they purchased the latest clothing styles, eat out three or four time a week, always have a bottle of wine with their meal, all put the cost on a CREDIT CARD. Now they are really upset with our President, may he be Bush, Clinton, Carter, Reagan or Lincoln. This is really nuts, like another blogger noted, Bush can’t control you spending no more than you seem to be able to yourself.
Another thing that the author said, “poor have brown or black faces.” This is a racist remark. Everyone I know realizes that most of the poor in this country is WHITE. Why, because there are more white than brown or black. So stop the BS racist crap when you write you blogs. It gives me pains to see how ignorant a person with a little education can be. You must of attended school on the East far left Coast.
By Pompano
August 16, 2006 06:13 PM | Link to this
Comments like the one from Methree give the real insight into the problems of the people mentioned. Has nothing to do with a bad run of luck but rather with a lack of personal accountability (can’t be their fault so blame it on Bush).
Scarriest thing is Methree claims to be an educator - speaks volumes about the quality of the people entrusted to teach our children.
By Candace
August 19, 2006 12:48 PM | Link to this
If people would stop relying on credit for everything, they would be okay. My husband and I don’t make a lot of money, but we do just fine because we don’t have ANY credit card/loan debt. We only buy things that we can afford. We don’t even apply for credit cards because we know that we are just setting ourselves up to be in DEBT. If you don’t have 3500 in your bank account, it might not be a good idea to buy a plasma tv with your Best Buy card. If people would live with the rationale that regardless of whether you use cash or credit, you will have to pay for what you buy eventually. So if you don’t have the physical cash, don’t go there. All these people in society trying to keep up with the Jones’ and have the newest and nicest of everything is ridiculous. I will be the first to admit that I am a label w*******, but if I don’t have the money to buy it, I don’t. By us living by that rule, we have credit scores in the 700’s, and NO DEBT. The only thing you should be in debt for is your home. I don’t even agree with having one credit card for emergencies. Just because it’s to easy to whip it out for every little thing that’s going to end up costing you more in the long run than it would if you would have just whipped out your debit card.
By Jean
August 22, 2006 07:57 PM | Link to this
I am one of those persons who is probably one paycheck from the homeless. My saving was used up doing for other people. I was the backbone for my family/friends and whenever anyone needed anything seems I was the only person that they knew to contact. I never turned anyone down I would use my bill money to help. No one ever returned any money that was given. Since I got broke I want ask for my money as I never want anyone to know that my financial situation is what is. I know there are folk who will be happy to know that I am flat broke because they had this attitude that I thought I was better than everyone since I never had to ask anyone for anything and I always shared what I had.
By StephieB
August 24, 2006 10:08 AM | Link to this
I just read the comments on the editorial and I am in agreement with a little of what everyone has said. For some their situation is a result of poor choices, for others a stream of unfortunate events that depleted what cushion they had. Either way the result is the same living paycheck to paycheck one step away from being homeless. I am in that situation as a result of the choices I have made and getting out of the problem into the solution is to stop blaming or feeling shame and contact an agency to get guidance on how to get back on your feet, and follow it without exception. Also having faith that you can do it goes a long way. As far as someone having food stamps and getting into a car nicer than the one I own, we never know what’s behind that. It may be someone’s car they borrowed (a relative or friend), we do not know. I have learned in my years of living that I cannot judge someone just by what I see—I never know what is behind that person as far as what led them to where they are, their back ground, I only see the surface. This leads to a very closed minded way to live. It wasn’t until I went through some of the very things in life that I previously judged others critically for that I came to this level of thinking. It takes a lot more work to think this way, it’s so much easier just to see and judge. I hope this has influenced someone to not be so quick to judge others. We never know when we may end up in the same situation.