Duluth.Talk

By HW

June 6, 2006 07:06 AM | Link to this

No, I’m not ready to show, tolerance, good for the manager, if the parents haven’t done their job in teaching a child to behave in public, then the child should be in public. I go out to eat more for the experience than the food, if I wanted to listen to a squalling kid while I eat, I’d go to Chucky Cheese. Also, how is it that the ONLY people in the place who don’t notice the screaming kid are the parents? Don’t even get me started on the parents who let the kids run wild. Also, I find it especially interesting when a family has a kid that basically puts food everywhere (table, neighboring tables, floor) but in its mouth, the dad will drop two $1 bills on the table as a tip.

As far as in church, there is usually a nursery, use it.

By HW

June 6, 2006 07:07 AM | Link to this

correction

shouldn’t be in public

By anita

June 6, 2006 07:17 AM | Link to this

HW—I agree wholeheartedly. My kids didnt GO to eating establishments until they could behave themselves. If the child is too young to be capable of that, why do we have to be subjected to the display and noise? I have stopped going to certain eating establishments because of this. I have seen so-called parents sit ther and continue to eat while their off spring amoebas literally run up and down the aisles of the place, all the while screaming. I usually make sure they KNOW how disgusting they are as parents and inform the manager, but I actually had a manger say to me, “well yes it is disruptive but what can I do?” I said …MANAGE! jerks all of them……….There is no such thing as “parenting” anymore—the kids rule and run the house and the parents….

By Vida

June 6, 2006 07:24 AM | Link to this

More and more parents are not teaching their children manners and respect for others. I wish more restaurant owners would tell parents that their screaming children are not wanted.

I enjoy telling parents how nicely their children behave in public. However, it is a rare opportunity. If a child is loud or is screaming, other people do not want to hear them. Consideration of others is nearly a thing of the past. Children should learn social graces at a young age and that is to be neat, polite and considerate. Also, more of us should express to parents that have raised their children to behave in public, that they have done a good job. These parents will be rewarded in the future.

By Marc

June 6, 2006 07:29 AM | Link to this

Children change people’s lives. You can not be expected to do everything the same way as you did when you were single or a couple without children.

Believe it or not children can be very annoying to people who come to a restaurant to dine.

While some people are too quick to complain, the right to eat a meal in relative peace and quiet should trump the right of parents to bring loud and undiscplined children to restaurants that do not cater to couples with children.

By John

June 6, 2006 07:34 AM | Link to this

I have a dream that somewhere in this world there’s a place where people don’t impose their lack of parenting skills on others. A world where people clean up after their dogs and refuse to let them bark for hours on end. Where people realize that getting people from their homes to their jobs is not a competetive sport. A place where people who choose to ruin their health by smoking cigarettes don’t impose their poor choices on others. A place where terms like social responsibility” and The “Rules of Personal behavior.” have meaning. But until Utopia comes, we’ll have to cope with the “It’s all about me” mentality that permeates our society.

By tom

June 6, 2006 07:36 AM | Link to this

no

By martha

June 6, 2006 07:38 AM | Link to this

NO

By T.I.E.

June 6, 2006 07:41 AM | Link to this

Children should be taught in “kid friendly” places how to behave in public. If mom and dad don’t put up with screaming and running around in McDonald’s (outside of the playground, of course) then the children learn how to behave. McDonald’s, Burger King and other fast food places are great for helping your little one learn how to sit quietly and eat, then be rewarded with some time for play — after lunch is done. I hate going to a restaurant (where I am paying a premium for service, atmosphere and well prepared food) and being subjected to a screaming kid. Well mannered children are a welcome sight, but too few parents help their children become well mannered. So, no. I have no tolerance for the screaming kids. I know the parents can do better than that.

By s.m

June 6, 2006 07:49 AM | Link to this

Hek No ! Don’t bring your bratty, snotty, rude kids out if you know they don’t know how to act in public.

By l

June 6, 2006 07:59 AM | Link to this

People pay good money for their atmosphere and dining. I can’t stand it when there is a crying baby in a restaurant or even a movie theater. Why is it so hard for parents to let go of their child for just one evening and relax to have a good time? Get a babysitter!

By lochnessmonster3.50

June 6, 2006 08:05 AM | Link to this

I don’t think that anyone should be treated as a second-class citizen! However, why do you automatically assume that YOU are the one being treated like a second-class citizen because you are asked to quiet your rude, noisy children? How about honest, hard-working people without children? Why must we constantly endure your horrible lack of parenting when we choose to eat out…doesn’t that make US the second-class citizens here??? After all, YOU WERE THE ONE WHO DECIDED TO HAVE A KID!!!!!! If you like to eat out, you can either maintain control of your children or you can get a sitter. Oh, sitters cost too much? Again, that’s your problem…you were the one who decided to have the kid in the first place. Why should everyone else be punished becuase you have a child that you can’t pay for? If you can’t afford kids—don’t have them!

I have absolutely no sympathy at all for this woman, and I applaud the restaurant manager!

By Kat

June 6, 2006 08:05 AM | Link to this

What’s the big deal? If someone’s child is too loud just toss your dinner roll over and pop him right between the eyes. That should really p** off the parents and then they will leave without you having to say a word. I have three kids and they are well behaved at restaturants but I had to TEACH them. I think taking them to a fast food spot is a great idea to get practice.

By EGC

June 6, 2006 08:07 AM | Link to this

Some tolerance is to be expected, but I have to say.. I HATE GOING TO A RESTAURANT THAT HAS LOUD CHILDREN AND THE PARENTS SIT THERE LIKE IT IS OK!!! I feel kind of sorry for the children because the parents are ignoring their problems. A child that is fussing like I have seen just recently is sick. You could tell he didn’t feel good! Yet the parents took their sweet time and finished their meal. I dont think it is the childs problem.. it is most definitly the parents that let this happen. I didn’t allow my children to behave this way at the table. If you did, we took a little trip to the bath room. If a child is under 3, then the parents should be respectful enough to take care of the problem, by leaving the restaurant. When you make a decision to have a family, you have to put up with the good and bad, but I don’t see where the public should have to put up with it.

By Joe Camp

June 6, 2006 08:12 AM | Link to this

Children must be taught and forced to behave properly in public.

I expect my children to act appropriately (quietly). They are also expected to treat the wait staff with utmost respect and manners. Please’s and thank you’s all around. I have not given this significant thought until now because these mannerly habits have become the way we are. However, when I drill it down…I also expect them to act this way at home.

I usually cook for my family and serve them. By the time I sit down to eat, I have been at work for an hour or so to prepare everything. You damn well better believe that by the time I sit down to eat, I expect gratitude, table manners, and quiet conversation.

In summary, manners start at home. My daughters exhibit manners because it is habit. I don’t have to threaten or punish to get my girls to act right at the table. I have issued a few stern words and a time-out or two…but it’s been so long that I do not remember. I have also- on only one occassion- turned one of my girls away from the table and she did without that meal. If I recall, that was because of significant and persistent complaining of what I cooked and put on the table. Hasn’t happened since. No child has ever died from missing one meal.

In the writer’s post, she refers to an instance where a two year old is out to eat with the family. It’s hard for a hungry two year old (or younger) to understand concepts like “polite” and “manners”. Therefore, Moms and Dads should do the right thing and either 1) get takeout, 2) remove the offending child from the dining area for placating, or 3) know when to ask for to-go-boxes and leave the restaurant.

By deegee

June 6, 2006 08:14 AM | Link to this

I am amazed at how parents will drag children that would rather be at home playing, into restaurants and then complain to the management that the atmosphere is not very child-friendly after the kids start getting antsy. Parents, you’re the ones that are not very child-friendly! Buy a bucket of chicken and take the kids home where they want to be.

By KGM

June 6, 2006 08:16 AM | Link to this

I too have stopped going out in public places because of the screaming children that most of us are subject to hear. Shopping, dining, and especially movie theaters. Hire a baby sitter and give everyone a break. You will find that it will do everyone more good than harm. If children cannot behave properly in public then maybe they should not be in public. Just think of how they will behave when they get older and try the same tactics in later years of their life.

By Popsyq

June 6, 2006 08:18 AM | Link to this

I’m really stunned at the vitriol generated by Beni’s simple question. It certainly indicates a fever level of emotion over the subject. Like anyone, I enjoy eating a restaurant meal in peace and quiet, but it also seems to me that this level of outrage over what is a natural phenomenon — children learning how to behave in public — reflects a cultural dissonance. Children are much more valued and treasured, even by non-parents, in some societies — e.g., Japan, Mexico. While I give the complainers their right to want a peaceful meal in public, I would also hope our collective ethic could evolve into one that’s a good bit more accepting of our greatest social capital — tomorrow’s adults. They are a gift, people, to all of us. Treasure them.

By deegee

June 6, 2006 08:22 AM | Link to this

John, you hit the mark! Don’t get me started on the barking dogs and picking up the doodoo in my yard.

By Rita

June 6, 2006 08:25 AM | Link to this

I have raised two kids. I could take my children anywhere and any restaurant without fear of them showing out. They sat in their sits and ate their meal and did not scream, run around. But then again that is how I was raised so I expected the same from my children. In church they stayed in the nursery until they were old enough to sit in regular church service and use their manners.

Parents today want to have children and let someone else raise them. These parents do not even attempt to raise them with any kind of manners.

Discipline is a thing of the past. You can discipline without abusing. Nothing works better than a good swat on the backside and it usually only takes one in front of others to straighten bad behavior.

By Louise

June 6, 2006 08:25 AM | Link to this

Agree wholeheartedly with every poster; where was dad in all this? If he can’t quiet his child then remove the child, period. Tell mommy we’re leaving and go to McD’s. We always had zero tolerance for our kids acting up in public, they knew it and were always well-behaved in public as a result. And when they were two-year old babies and still being taught, we went to McD’s or BK and if we were anywhere else, we left out of courtesy to others.

By Dominique

June 6, 2006 08:25 AM | Link to this

Children under the age of five should not be taken to restaurants where they are expected to sit still for long periods of time. It’s not in their nature and simply leads to misbehavior. That’s why McDonalds and Chunky Cheese exists. When they are old enough to converse with on a reasonable level, then they are old enough to go to a real restaurant. Why subject a two year old to a situation that they are going to lose in? Makes no sense to me.

By Barbara

June 6, 2006 08:28 AM | Link to this

When my child was small and became disruptive in a restaurant, either myself or her father would take the child outside until we could calm her down. That is the only option available in order to not disturb other diners who are paying their good money to have a relaxing evening. Get with it young parents! You are not the only people on the planet!

By Lee

June 6, 2006 08:29 AM | Link to this

Did any of you inconsiderate people even read the article before you used this blog to take shots at parents? They were asked to leave within 3 minutes from a ‘family’ restaurant. The kid wanted to play with the toys at the hostess stand. I assume it was the standard crayons and kids menu. Why would a restaurant have such items if it was unacceptable for a 2 year old to cry for a minute or two? Here’s idea for you people who seem to have issues with a child acting like a child. If the hostess stand has crayons, YOU should leave. There are plenty of restaurants out there that are not for children.

I understand that there are lots of parents out there that don’t seem to know when their kid has crossed the line and they need to self eject themselves. At that point, I have no problem with a manager asking them to leave. Throwing food on other tables, kids running around etc. are good reasons to valid reasons to eject someone AFTER the restaurant makes an effort to be part of the solution. Even the most well behaved 2-5 year old will start acting up when dinner takes 45 minutes to arrive. A two year old crying for 2 minutes is not. I doubt anyone even complained. It sounds like the manager acted on his own.

MacDonalds and Burger king as a training ground. I am not going to feed that crap to my kid do you don’t have to listen to him cry for a minute while you have your fancy dining experience at Chili’s.

By PG

June 6, 2006 08:31 AM | Link to this

How do you expect children to LEARN how to act in public unless you take them out in it?!?!?!?!

By PG

June 6, 2006 08:32 AM | Link to this

How do you expect children to LEARN how to act in public unless you take them out in it?!?!?!?!

By fk

June 6, 2006 08:33 AM | Link to this

I think parents need to get over themselves and their cute kids. My husband and I would leave the restaurant had our son ever fussed in public. It’s called consideration for others. I’m afraid that some parents these days do not have the ability to use common sense. The biggest headache in a restaurant is when two or more couples come in together, and sit their young kids at a separate table. Yeah, like everyone else wants to be around them when the parents don’t.

Sunday night, my 15 year old and I flew from NY to ATL. There was a screaming two year old behind us. This child screamed the entire flight. I don’t understand why parents would even consider flying with a child during the nighttime hours when the child should be in bed! The flight arrived in ATL at 10:30 p.m…like little ones aren’t cranky at that time.

Two other moms boarded the flight with two children. The moms sat behind the two kids, perhaps five or six years old, while another passenger had the seat beside the kids. The mothers were insulted when the passenger requested a seat change after offering to switch seats with one of the parents. Apparently, the mother did not want to sit with the the children, either. The children, although quiet, and occupied by a portable dvd, kept kicking and pushing against the seats in front of them. The two mothers were oblivious.

By Kevin

June 6, 2006 08:41 AM | Link to this

Why is the public supposed to accept a crying child so that the parents can go out for a meal? Would the parents be as tolerant of me and my party if I was to sit at my table and read outloud from the Bible, Koran or even Mein Kaumf for all to hear? Or curse outloud and randomly like I had Tourettes? Or rail against the government like a lunatic just for my own amusement?

When your kid’s crying begins to interfere with my peaceful enjoyment, then you are subject to being a “bad neighbor” and should respond accordingly.

By Lola

June 6, 2006 08:41 AM | Link to this

I have a two year old daughter, and my husband and I have decided to put a moratorium on going out to eat until she gets past her terrible two’s. She can go from happy to screaming in less than a minute, and I don’t think it’s fair to make an entire restaurant of people suffer just so we can eat out. They have a right to enjoy their meals. Right now, we simply do a to-go order if we really have a craving for restaurant food. While I sympathize with the mother in the story, and I don’t think she deserved all the mean-spirited responses that were posted in this blg, I also don’t think she has any business expecting a restaurant of however many people to just deal with her screaming kid. Order the food to go and eat it at home. It tastes just as good and it doesn’t ruin anyone else’s evening. We all have to make certain sacrifices when we have small children, and eating at a restaurant is one of them, as far as my family is concerned. We’ll be back again when she learns how to better control herself and act appropriately for a public place.

By Rita

June 6, 2006 08:46 AM | Link to this

Another option for these parents are to take your own crayons and coloring books. I have many times packed a little bag for my kids to stay “busy” until food arrived. I always asked for crackers so that the kids did not get so hungrey before the meal arrived.

Parents just need to think ahead and about other people who may be around that do not have children or that their kids are grown. It is a little thing called consideration for others.

By Ed

June 6, 2006 08:47 AM | Link to this

This is a sign of our times. We lived in Atlanta fifteen years ago, and just moved back. Before, upscale restaraunts were a place to go to dress up a bit, enjoy a good meal, and have a conversation. Most families had a sitter so they could enjoy the evening. Now even in the nicer restaraunts, people rarely dress, wearing flipflops, baseball caps, jeans, T shirts or even sleeveless shirts (usually furry men), bring the tired and grouchy kids, etc.,and- oh yes, the cell phones. So I see the kids in the restaraunt problem as more than just an unruly child problem, but a breakdown in the social decorum.Hey, I’m not trying to be a fuddy-duddy, Family style restaraunts have always had unruly kids, and maybe that is an OK place for them, but now it is impossible to go to any restaraunt and find the comfortable dining atmosphere of the past.

By Conrad Freeman, MD

June 6, 2006 08:49 AM | Link to this

Since I have AVOIDED marriage, I go to Restaurants that have crying kids just to remind me to NEVER GET MARRIED and have KIDS! I used to sit in a Pediatrician’s Office for two hours, but I decided to EAT at the same time!!! Dr Freeman

By Emily

June 6, 2006 08:50 AM | Link to this

I have 2 kids - ages 1 and 3. I take them out of the restaurant if they aren’t behaving, but I would hope that people would give me a minute to get out the door. In the case of the Heaths, the story reads that there was no chance given to resolve the issue. We all need to be a little nicer. As much as I don’t like hearing screaming, misbehaving children (including my own), I don’t ask to have someone ejected the first time they loudly tell a story and the group reacts in a way that the noise is intrusive to my dining experience. We all have stuff that bugs us - if the parents do nothing to address the kid’s behavior, then it makes sense to complain. Let’s give each other a few minutes to show if we’re rude and inconsiderate, or just trying to get the situation under control.

By Rod

June 6, 2006 08:52 AM | Link to this

Beni, you haven’t made a post since writing the article - why not? Do you see our points? Your comments were basically that we (the other restaurant patrons) should just accept the screaming kids. If you want to buy my dinner, I’ll consider it. However, if I’m paying then I don’t want screaming kids.

Have you changed your opinion…yet?

By parentofone

June 6, 2006 08:53 AM | Link to this

I’m truly shocked by the posts on this topic. I had no idea that people hated children so much and had such low tolerance for them in public. I guess each of you was a perfect angel in church, the local diner, grocery store, airplane, etc. I hope that you sit next to me, my husband and my 13mo old son the next time we leave our cave and venture out in public (GASP!).

By deegee

June 6, 2006 08:54 AM | Link to this

Heelo PG, there are plenty of opportunities for children to learn how to behave in public, i.e, shopping centers, parks, playgrounds, etc. Dragging them into an adult setting where seating is assigned is inconsiderate if the child has not mastered self-discipline.

Supplying crayons and toys is a method restauraunts use to mitigate damage. Understanding that parents are going to bring small children in and they are going to act up, it’s just easier to keep the stuff on hand betting that they might keep still during their limited attention span. Because a restaurant has them, it is not intended to be a sign of a free-for-all atmosphere.

By Get real

June 6, 2006 08:55 AM | Link to this

People, let’s not forget - we only heard the innocent Heath’s side of the story. A bit one sided I’m sure. If you were to ask the manager the story, I’m sure he’d tell you they were there at least 10 minutes with screaming the whole time.

By Bob`

June 6, 2006 08:57 AM | Link to this

Hey parentofone, the next time you do venture out in public with your 13 month old son - just remember: you’re not the only one out there. Be respectful of other people’s rights!

By Linda

June 6, 2006 08:59 AM | Link to this

Kat, GREAT IDEA! Ask for extra dinner rolls while you’re at it. Let’s all meet at a restaurant and let them roll! Too bad I’m a bad aim and would probably hit the maitre-d. I get so sick and tired of people bringing their crying, fussy brats to a restaurant that is primarily catering to adults. When smoking was permitted, we would be asked “smoking” or “non-smoking”. I would promptly reply “no kids/children”. Sounds like the father was too lazy to fulfill his duties as a father….get the screaming brat the heck out of there! And from what I have read, it seems like the kid is a total brat. How about a little smack on the left/right thigh and “quiet”. Oh! That’s right,parents don’t believen in spanking anymore. I am 100% with the manager of the restaurant and wish more would follow in his steps. My daughter grew up knowing she had to behave or “else”. We never had any problems with her. This family needs to frequent child oriented restaurants with their kids and hire a babysitter when they want to go out to a nice restaurant.
Better yet….teach your children how to act in public. What ever happened to “children should be seen and not heard”? That was really big in the 50’s & 60’s. But then again so was a swift smack on the little tush!

By DW

June 6, 2006 09:01 AM | Link to this

For heavens sake, the child was 2. Everyone keeps talking about not teaching children to behave. I am currently raising a 2-year old. For those of you who don’t have children, maybe you should think twice before you speak of things with which you have no experience. For those of you with older children, have you forgotten how 2-year olds are programmed? For those of you who have 2-year olds who behave themselves at all times in all places no matter what… Congratulations. No need to rub it in.

By parentofone

June 6, 2006 09:01 AM | Link to this

Believe it or not my 13mo old has rights too. I’m not taking him to the Ritz but I’m not going to deny our family experiences together because of self-centered, intolerant people who can’t give parents two minutes to calm their child or remove their child from the situation before they start sighing, pointing to the church nursery sign and calling for the restaurant manager.

By Glenn

June 6, 2006 09:02 AM | Link to this

There are restaurants that are kid-friendly and some that are not. Do a 2 yr-old and a 6 yr-old really enjoy going to Ruth’s Chris? What is it they really enjoy—-the 18oz Ribeye?? People these days are just too darn cheap to get a babysitter!

By Mom of 2

June 6, 2006 09:02 AM | Link to this

Ok. I have 2 small children that have misbehaved at a restaurant. People look at me like I’m an alien but yet if I decide to give them a swat on the butt, now I’m abusing my child! There is a catch 22 on parents with small hungry children…public discipline for bad behavior or glaring angry adults since my children are being loud. What am I to do? I can understand if I’m at a fairly nice restaurant and my kids mis-behave. I would take them from the table and have a “talk” out of pulbic eye. What’s next, my kids mis-behave at Wal-Mart and now I’m shunned from shopping?? Get a grip. If society hadn’t gone so soft in the first place, maybe this blog wouldn’t be here.

Case in point…I was at Wal-Mart and my 5 year old was running around well in front on me. I instructed him to come back which he did half way. An older woman (50’s +) said back in her day, that child would get a swat on the butt. Well, that’s what I did. She actually said “Good for you”. Why can’t everyone be like that? Society wants properly behaved children but it doesn’t give us the tools outside the home to do so with some light physical discipline.

We mothers have alot of patience and would one day like to have a hot meal at a restaurant. I’m not saying to tolorate, heck understanding the stress of being a parent would be nice…

By Chandra

June 6, 2006 09:03 AM | Link to this

0 tolerance! as a parent and an educator, it’s all about training, training, training. even at the age of two, a normal child should understand what’s acceptable and unacceptable behaviour. throwing tantrums in public places is totally unacceptable, let alone throwing them at all. just this past weekend, i experienced the same thing and it just makes for a very bad dining experience. we have become so selfish and expect everyone to just tolerate our baggage. well, if that’s the case, let’s just kick out common etiquette all together which teaches us rules of engaging with the public. let’s just start burping out loud, smacking, talking with food in our mouths, being loud, etc. children are truly moldable individuals. they won’t do any more than we expect them to. obviously, this child was acting out of usual circumstance, therefore, i go back to the parents. what about daddy putting forth an effort to comfort or remove the child temporarily until mom returned? and if dad’s such the passive partner that some tend to be, why couldn’t the 2 year old go along with mom and the other child to the restroom? seems to me this situation was still a doable one. something else could’ve been done that could’ve saved face for everyone to the place that the public would not be blamed for something that hinges on parental training. let’s put the responsibility back where it belongs- ON THE PARENTS!

By Lee

June 6, 2006 09:06 AM | Link to this

Linda, What a great idea! When a 2 year old fusses because she wants some crayons, let’s smack her! That’ll teach her. Why do I have the feeling that your daughter is in therapy. You wrote: “I get so sick and tired of people bringing their crying, fussy brats to a restaurant that is primarily catering to adults.” You are not a strong reader, are you? This was a family restaurant.

By Childfree by Choice

June 6, 2006 09:10 AM | Link to this

Oh, come on. Don’t you think Wendy Heath might have exaggerated just a little bit in order to make herself and her family seem more sympathetic?

I say kudos to that restaurant manager.

By singlemom

June 6, 2006 09:11 AM | Link to this

My sister-in-law and I had to do “tag team dining” while on vacation one year in St. Simons Island. My two year started pitching a fit, so I removed her and we went and sat in the car. Not five minutes later, here comes my sister-in-law with her 18 month old, pitching a fit. She sat in the car with the kids, while I ran in and ate, then I came out to the car, while she ran in and ate. Keep in mind, her husband (my brother) and my mother both remained in the restaurant as we played tag.

I think if a child is being obnoxious and crying, or whatever, the parents need to remove them from the situation, whether it be at a restaurant or other public place. I cannot stand to hear a child pitching a fit when I am out in public, so I never let mine do it. I refuse to let my child ruin someone else’s evening, etc. My child is now 15 so we don’t have that problem anymore. We still laugh at tag-team dining.

By Renee

June 6, 2006 09:12 AM | Link to this

Hey parentofone and DW - since you are oblivious to other people’s rights to enjoy a nice dinner out, why don’t you wonder why you’re such a bad parent in the first place. What decent parent would take a small child (1 or 2) to a restaurant anyway? They don’t want to be there and certainly aren’t enjoying it (can the crying and screaming be a clue to you dimwitted folks?).

People like you love to make excuses about how it’s not your fault. IT IS!! Accept responsibility and don’t take your children to restaurants (or other such public places) until you’ve taught them how to act - and yes, that’s YOUR job. You’re not the only ones with rights. When the 3 (4 or 5) of you bother 100 other people, then you are in the wrong.

You’re the one who wanted that night of pleasure, now accept the responsibility.

By Happy girl

June 6, 2006 09:13 AM | Link to this

Parents should not take kids to a non kid friendly resturant , and if you want to go to these places do like thousands of other parents do and get a sitter. I was in a Doctors office in April and the doctor had a mini home theather for kids with benches to sit on, kids were in this room with their moms and going crazy jumping off the benches. A nurse came out and ask that the moms have the children to sit down and one mom got mad and told the nurse “my kid is sitting down” now not only did this mom lie but she did it right in front of her kid…what message did she give the kid? that in my opinion was an unfit mother.

By AmeriKo

June 6, 2006 09:13 AM | Link to this

If your child can not behave you should not take them out. If you are out and by some circumstance your child begins to cry or become disruptive you remove them until they calm down! I was “taken to the car” as a child and learned how to act appropriately in appropriate places. Expecting to be allowed to sit in a restaurant with a disruptive child is self indulgent which would explain where the child learned his or her behavior!

By parentofone

June 6, 2006 09:14 AM | Link to this

Renee: Thanks for putting me in my place.

By deegee

June 6, 2006 09:17 AM | Link to this

If you think that the crying is bad, you should see the mess these families leave behind. I have actually had to close down a station for cleaning after a family allowed their not-so-little kids smear butter on the floor and create a makeshift skating arena. Would it kill you folks to tidy up just a little bit before vacating the premises?

By CRB

June 6, 2006 09:21 AM | Link to this

As the dad of a two year old toddler, I think we need a compromise of attitudes here.

We didn’t take our daughter to restaurants until we knew we could manage her. And on more than one occasion we got up and left half eaten meals because she got cranky or made too much noise. We knew when we walked in the door that we might have to leave. So we didn’t subject everyone to her crying because we wanted to clean our plates.

But on the other hand…people need to have some patience with a family that is trying to work with their kid and teach them manners. If my wife and I spend a couple of minutes trying to figure out why the baby is upset so that we can quiet her, give us a chance.

So really…there is a middle ground IMHO.

The problem parents are the ones who don’t make any effort to manage the situation or the child. They make the rest of us look bad.

By Beni Dakar--Duluth Talk

June 6, 2006 09:23 AM | Link to this

RE: (From Rod) Beni, you haven’t made a post since writing the article - why not? Do you see our points? Your comments were basically that we (the other restaurant patrons) should just accept the screaming kids. If you want to buy my dinner, I’ll consider it. However, if I’m paying then I don’t want screaming kids.

Have you changed your opinion…yet?

Hello Rod,

Thanks for dropping in on today’s blog!

No, I have not changed my opinion. I never gave parents and fussing kids a free pass to disturb anyone in public.

I stated clearly that there was an obligation with both the parent and the public in dealing with fussing small children in public. Below is what I wrote:

“Yes, parents of small children should use good judgment about where they should take their offspring — especially tired, sick, and overly hungry children. Furthermore, parents with small children should expect the possibility of self-ejecting themselves from public places if their child’s behavior becomes too loud or riotous.

But, we (the public) also should strive to be more patient with parents with small children in public places. After all, every adult was once a child — and children both need and deserve the right to learn how to socialize in public by being among the public.”

Parents should use good judgment about when and where their small children are included in public places. I never said that children should be permitted to whine and holler and disturb other restaurant patrons.

However, I do believe that just because a small child makes an utterance in a public place is no reason for that family to be immediately ejected from a restaurant. They should have an opportunity to quiet the child; just like Heath was trying to do.

Moreover, the restaurant where Heath’s family chose was not an upscale restaurant; but a family restaurant at The Mall of Georgia—that to me was clearly family unfriendly.

Rod, I appreciate your post and your viewpoint!

Thanks,

Beni

By DeeDee

June 6, 2006 09:30 AM | Link to this

Hey kids are people too! If an adult was in a restaurant crying loudly, I’d expect that any decent waiter would come over to the person and say something along the lines of, “Is there something I can get for you?” or “Can I help you?”

Was the child treated with the same courtesy? Doesn’t sound like it..

Shame on the wait staff and management!!

By CRB

June 6, 2006 09:33 AM | Link to this

Also…forgot to mention:

Manners start at home. Our daughter does NOT throw food. She does NOT smear food on a table. Food goes in her mouth or on her plate. Its been that way since she started learning how to feed herself.

She says “Please”. She says “Thank you”. She says “All done” when she is finished.

We take her to restaurants that are already loud and busy. We don’t take her to fancy places. (If someone at Joe’s Crab Shack tells me that my daughter is making too much noise…well…tough, you probably can’t hear her over the music and singing anyways…)

Its really just a matter of not being lazy parents and having common courtesy when in public.

By Susan

June 6, 2006 09:34 AM | Link to this

To parentofone: No,your 13 month old does not have rights. It cannot vote, serve in the armed forces, hold down a job or travel freely. Basically, your 13 month old is a a bundle of needs, all of which you are responsible to supply. Why on earth would you take a 13 month old child to a fine dining establishment? So he can appreciate the level of service, the ambience? So he can enjoy the decor and the steak tartare?

When we go out to dinner, it’s a real tooth grinder to listen to children screaming out loud. Most of you people who drag these children into restaurants act as if nothing is happening and DO NOTHING to stop the child from making noise. We do not pay to eat out to tolerate your lack of parenting skills.

This blog has really touched on a nerve for me. Be on notice: the next time I eat out and your spawn disturbs me, I will arise from my seat and tell you exactly what you need to do. If you are unable to appreciate that others don’t want to experience the sound of your child at full volume, I will be the first to tell you to to leave.

By deegee

June 6, 2006 09:34 AM | Link to this

Hello CRB, you’re not a part of the problem. It’s the people that are too tired or feel too guilty to discipline/handle their children that we lose patience with.

No, we don’t lose patience with a child making an utterance in a public place. Trust me, if the restaurant patrons were at the point of complaining about Heath and her family, things had gotten out of hand long before she got back from their potty break.

By McGehee

June 6, 2006 09:34 AM | Link to this

After having endured noisy children in restaurants more times than I can count — and developing a list of restaurants to avoid because of the management’s zero-intelligence policy of tolerating children who act like they;re being raised by wolves, I am convinced that Mrs. Heath is not telling the whole story. Asked to leave after only three minutes? What restaurant did this? Where is it? I want to eat there!

By pj

June 6, 2006 09:34 AM | Link to this

I GO OUT TO ENJOY MY MEAL.I CAN’T STAD CRYING KID’S.I THINK PARNET’S OT THESE CHILDREN SHOULD RESPECT OTHERE’S.

By No Children

June 6, 2006 09:37 AM | Link to this

I don’t have any children, but do remember my experiences eating out as a child. My parents explained that it was a “big girl” priveledge to eat in a “grown-up” restaurant and if my sister and I could not act accordingly, we would not be invited anymore. We were, for the most part, well behaved. Should there have been an outburst (usually from my sister), my parents had the courtesy to remove her from the restaurant immediately until she calmed down. It is common courtesy.

Another point, most restaurants do not allow cell phone usage, pagers, PDAs, etc. yet there are people on this page actaully complaining that noisy children should be accepted. Please a cell phone - a few rings and it is quiet, a quick conversation to say that you are waiting for your bill, or to say where your table is. Give me a break. I think more people would be tolerant of children, if the parents were respectful and removed the unruly things until they learned to act appropriately. Maybe when I am hungry I should throw myself on the floor and scream until my food arrives.

By CRB

June 6, 2006 09:37 AM | Link to this

I’ve noticed some wait staff types making comments in this blog.

You should be aware that you are fully capable of helping manage kids. (And yes it is part of you job since they are patrons just like their parents are…)

1) When you see a family with kids, bring the kiddie menu.
2) The first order you should take is the kid’s order.
3) Bring the kiddie order AS SOON AS ITS READY…don’t wait and bring it with my food.

The quickest way to get a big tip from parents of a young child is to focus on the child and getting their order out there. I can tell you that most parents are more than happy to wait until you bring bread or etc before they order.

Work with me and acknowledge my daughter and you’ll get tipped in the 20% or higher range.

By Mary

June 6, 2006 09:41 AM | Link to this

THANK YOU for all these comments…I thought it was just me! I am 43 and child-free by choice. When I was younger, my tolerance for children was higher, but now it is zero. My husband and I avoid many “family friendly” restaurants so we don’t have to endure misbehaving children who have clueless parents. Now, this is not everyone…I’m referring to the parents who ignore poor behavior and expect others to do so as well. There are many parents who try very hard to control their kids behavior…keep it up. You won’t always suceed, but please keep trying. And thank you for leaving before your kids reach total meltdown. Thank you to managers and servers who deal with this everyday, and who have enough guts and integrity to respect all the diners, and ask people who are creating a disturbance to stop it, or leave the restaurant. We appreciate it very much, and we TIP ACCORDINGLY.

By Steve

June 6, 2006 09:43 AM | Link to this

Actually, children seem better behaved now than they did when I was growing up. Crying babies used to be a common thing. I’ve even experienced it in a movie. I watched two mothers, each with a child, walk into a Virginia Highlands restaurant, get seated, and then take the children back out when they didn’t behave. I applaud their action. Children that are too young or ill behaved to be out in public shouldn’t be.

By SD

June 6, 2006 09:44 AM | Link to this

Crying babies, like good intentions, should be carried out immediately.

By CRB

June 6, 2006 09:45 AM | Link to this

Susan,

Be on notice: the next time I eat out and your spawn disturbs me, I will arise from my seat and tell you exactly what you need to do. If you are unable to appreciate that others don’t want to experience the sound of your child at full volume, I will be the first to tell you to to leave.

No you won’t. Leave the tough talk on the blog where you can hide behind the internet. ;)

Besides, if my daughter was at “full volume” my wife or I would be managing the situation before you could work up the nerve to make a peep to a stranger in a restaurant.

By Pitbull

June 6, 2006 09:46 AM | Link to this

I do not pay good money for a nice dinner so I can endure your child’s “training” to act mannerly in public. The child’s behavior is as much of a reflection on your inability to effectively parent your child as it is on the child’s bad behavior. I too say if a family is going to ruin all of the patrons’ meals with ill mannered children, go ahead and yell at them from your table or plop a roll at them. If I am going to be miserable and angry, then we all are.

By Dusty

June 6, 2006 09:47 AM | Link to this

The hubby and I can’t ever go out and not be subjected to screamin’ youngins. Since they’ve made restaurants smoke free, they now need to make a family section and adults only section. Completely close in the family section with sound proofing.

I know growing up, we never went out to eat when my brothers were very little, unless it was McDonalds. My parents waited until we were old enough to behave ourselves, usually around 5 or 6. Now every parent feels the need to drag their screaming heathen children everywhere.

Get a sitter or stay home. Your children are not adorable to everyone.

By deegee

June 6, 2006 09:48 AM | Link to this

Hello CRB, I’ll start managing the kids when they start paying the check. Your list includes the basics and nobody has a problem with any of that. We are happy to speed the kids’ orders out but please, after they have eaten their two bites and have lost interest in the rest, just manage them while we are preparing your order.

By jim

June 6, 2006 09:52 AM | Link to this

No screaming babies at weddings.

By nan

June 6, 2006 09:52 AM | Link to this

everyone that is posting about how horrid children are and that you should throw food at them in restaurants are the same idiots that talk on cell phones while driving, therefore endangering everyone on the road, cut me off and wave obscene hand signals, smoke in front of buildings so I have to walk through your stench, and loudly tell nasty innapropriate jokes at public places such as restaurants. I have endured every one of these instances within the last week. You are not perfect people, and neither is every single parent. There will always be someone doing something annoying and ignorant so you can’t just pin it on parents and kids. If you can’t stand the everday annoyances of humanity, go live in a cave.

By Getasitter

June 6, 2006 09:54 AM | Link to this

The Mall of Georgia lists “sit-down” restaurants, and it includes places like P.F. Chang’s, O’Charley’s, and Longhorn Steakhouse. These aren’t places I would consider appropriate for a two year old. Unlike older children, I don’t think there is a teaching point for the kid. Give up your yuppie ways and go to one of the other numerous places that are more accommodating, so the rest of us can enjoy our meal.

By singlemom

June 6, 2006 09:54 AM | Link to this

I’m guessing by most of these posts, that alot of you complaining do NOT have kids. Why do people without kids think they know so much about parenting. And I can tell you a two year old does not know how to entertain themselves and yes they act up when they get bored. It is very difficult to tell a two year old to behave. They don’t know what behaving is until they hit 4 or 5 years of age. Babies don’t have the communication skills most adults do, so they communicate the only way they know how, fussing and crying. It is up to the PARENTS of that child to control the situation.

If I see a parent struggling with a child, whether at a restaurant or at the grocery store, I always offer to help out, I’ve been there. Just because you are sitting at the next table rolling your eyes, you have no idea what is causing this discomfort, people need to be more patient.

And when did restaurants become Adult only? Each and every one of us has the same right to go out and eat, with or without our kids.

By CRB

June 6, 2006 09:56 AM | Link to this

deegee,

Hello CRB, I’ll start managing the kids when they start paying the check. Your list includes the basics and nobody has a problem with any of that. We are happy to speed the kids’ orders out but please, after they have eaten their two bites and have lost interest in the rest, just manage them while we are preparing your order.

Unfortunately, alot of wait staff aren’t trained properly or at all. They ignore kids or slow down the process to the point that they actually contribute to the situation.

Now…please be aware that my wife was a trainer for Olive Garden during and shortly after college. She waited tables for years and she trained wait staff for years. So as a result, we try VERY hard to work with our waiter and keep the table clean and everything orderly and under control.

I tip 20% on average but will tip more for a waiter that obviously knows how to work with a couple that has kids. Our daughter is a flirt and will really ham it up with someone who pays attention to her and asks her basics like what her name is and how old she is. Everyone has fun, she’s under control, and the waiter gets a big fat tip.

You know…I spent a week at a Beaches resort recently. Kids everywhere. Slow service because it was all inclusive. We ended up eating at buffets all week so we could switch off and manage the baby, even though there were kids screaming all over the place. I thought I had seen it all until some lazy parents PULLED OUT A DVD PLAYER at the dinner table. The sound from Monster’s Inc one table over was worse than all the kids in the place…

By AYoungMom

June 6, 2006 09:57 AM | Link to this

Wow. I cannot believe how much hatred there is on these blogs. People always hate on people are are different from them. So sad. I for one have a 3 y/o daughter. I have been takng her out with me since she was 3 months old. She has been on airplanes, restaurants, church, kids movies and other such places. She is remarkably well behaved and most of the time people compliment me on how good she is. I never really realized there was an alternative. She has been exposed to public places since infancy and therefore acts accordingly. I use home as the training ground as we sit at the table together as a family for meals. No yelling, throwing food, etc. I think it is about exposure and kids have to learn somehow. We can’t keep them locked in the house forever, but true training starts at home and kids model what they see. Now at age 3 if we go out to eat she knows how to order her own beverages (apple juice, please). I am not saying my child is an angel b/c she has her moments, but when she acts up she knows that she will be dealt with. And for me as a mom, I rarely even hear other kids crying. I think I am immune to it, I feel the pain/stress of other parents b/c I have been there. I agree that some parents need to step up to the plate and not be afraid to discipline their offspring, but non parents can also be a bit more tolerant. Remember you were a child once as well and someone had to put up with your antics.

By Rob

June 6, 2006 10:05 AM | Link to this

The manager did a great job. Obnoxious children don’t belong in public. If parents can’t keep their children quiet and well behaved, then keep them at home until they learn to behave.

By nan

June 6, 2006 10:07 AM | Link to this

Obnoxious grown-ups don’t belong in public either. I wish you would stay home too. That way, my family could dine in peace without your stupid ill-mannered comments, annoying cell phones, and loud drunken conversations about your nonexistent sex life.

By T.I.E.

June 6, 2006 10:08 AM | Link to this

Let me say this…I do have a child, who is now a teenager and I still have to act like a parent when I take him out. We practiced in kid friendly places (like McDonald’s) when he was little so he could learn how to be out in an environment he enjoyed. He learned to be a good citizen, respect others and be courteous to strangers (wait staff, other diners etc). Now, at 14, we actually have to remind him more often about unacceptable behavior than when he was 5, but we still won’t hesitate to leave if he chooses to behave badly. (sometimes he even chooses to stay home when he’s not feeling up to being out). Now a little one can’t make that choice and shouldn’t be expected to. I agree with those of you who have commented that we have gotten a very one sided story, just from the family POV. Restaurants are there to make money — which is why they don’t throw families (and their tickets) out at the first whimper. Personally, I think child/cell phone free zone in a restaurant is a great idea.

By Getasitter

June 6, 2006 10:10 AM | Link to this

Hey singlemom, I don’t think everybody here hates kids. We understand exactly what you’re saying about two year olds being uncontrollable. THAT’S THE POINT. I sympathize with people who have crying babies at the supermarket. Everyone has to shop for food. But not everyone has to go to a nice sit down restaurant after dragging their kids around the mall for a couple of hours. You can go to the food court, or get a to-go order. Why go somewhere that’s not accommodating to a screaming two-year old?

By deegee

June 6, 2006 10:13 AM | Link to this

Hello CRB, Cute kids are a pleasure and most waitstaff that I know love to engage them as you described. When the kids become a time-consuming distraction to the waitstaff and an annoyance to the people around them, then it becomes a problem. Getting 20% on a kiddie meal is not as good as getting 15% on the rest of my tables.

By Tommy

June 6, 2006 10:18 AM | Link to this

…my sister always splits a valium between her two before going to a restaurant. This insures peace and quiet there, and it’s easier to get the kids in bed when they get home…

By HB

June 6, 2006 10:18 AM | Link to this

Wow! People here are really unreasonable. This is an informal mall restaurant, where shoppers go to take a break, not the Ritz Carlson. Shoppers often include families with children. Children should not be allowed to run all over the restaurant, and for safety reasons, I believe a restaurant has a responsibility to ask families to leave if they are allowing a child to wander unattended. If a child melts down, of course, parents should be considerate and try to calm the child or take him/her outside ASAP. It sounds like that’s exactly what this family was trying to do but wasn’t given a chance. If they can’t get the situtation under control, then they should leave, but immediately kicking the family out was ridiculous. Be reasonable, people!!!

By UGADawg16

June 6, 2006 10:20 AM | Link to this

I am a father of a 14 month old. There are appropriate places to take your kids - I would venture to say that Ruth’s Chris would not be one. If I go to an upscale restaurant, I too go more for the experience - I get a baby-sitter so that I can enjoy myself. All that being said there are some times when parents have no alternative but to be in a situation that they would prefer not to be. Have a little tolerance people! I understand the gripe against “non parenting” parents and completely understand the disdain for unruly children who are ignored by their parents. I also understand what it feels like to be unwelcome by fellow patrons just because I have a child in tow. Again, I do not take my child to places where it is inappropriate (upscale restaurants, long playing non G rated movies, etc.) But if you are a person who truly dislikes children then I have more pity for your black heart than I do for your ocsional inconvenience caused by an upset child.

By Second coming of Anna

June 6, 2006 10:24 AM | Link to this

As the parent (father) of an 18 month old who is “all boy, all the time” we have just begun struggling a little with this topic. My wife and I respond quickly to his outbursts and encourage him to use his words and hand signals, but lately he has been more rambunctious than I’m ready to accept when eating out. I had kids later than most (I’m 33) and I sympathize with the people that are truly annoyed by my wailing baby. I also tip very well for the mess that we leave behind. For all of you with little ones, here’s a tip that I have found - go to dinner early, like 5pm or 5:30pm with your little one. The only people in the restaurants at that time are usually the retirees, and guess what, they for the most part LOVE your little one and think its great that they are wailing and being babies. Of course you have the crochety old people, but usually the restaurant is open enough for me to move the family away from them. Also, parents don’t be so dense to the people around you. If your little one is “raising heck” then apologize, engage the folks around you - be courteous and contrite. Don’t be afraid to tell your waitress/waiter “make mine to go, he’s out of control - let me pay you and I’ll be waiting out front.” The other patrons will appreciate it

By Getasitter

June 6, 2006 10:32 AM | Link to this

No, HB, this wasn’t an “informal mall restaurant” That would be the food court. And if another adult has to speak to you about your child’s behavior, then you need to be embarrassed, not angry enough to write an opinion piece to the ajc. I’m tired of yuppies like Ms. Heath thinking that they can continue their usual routine of nice restaurants, movies, etc. while dragging toddlers around. It’s self-indulgent, and all about HER, not “family”. I bet the two-year old really enjoyed a day at the mall in her stroller while mommy shopped for shoes. Or the chance to dine at a place like Ruby Tuesdays.

By Dan

June 6, 2006 10:35 AM | Link to this

A mall restaurant should be a bit more lenient, after all people don’t frequent such a place to go out to dinner but more as a respite from shopping. But I am sorry I do not believe the incident happened in the space of 5 minutes. Mom goes toe the rest room, with a 6 year old (minimum 10 min probably more, child starts to cry, long enough for people to ask for the manager (come on someone is going to ask after 5 min? another 10 min), mom returns and begins to comfort the child(lets give this 5), mean while the manager is found (usually 30 min at least but for the sake of this lets assume they tripped over the table) and consults with the offending party. While the author may have felt like it was 5 minutes there is simply no way that all happened so quickly it had to be triple that at min, 5 min is a gross exageration.

By lynn

June 6, 2006 10:42 AM | Link to this

Oh Lee was real funny! Does anyone else here consider Chili’s fancy dining :)

By OldSchoolParent

June 6, 2006 10:43 AM | Link to this

I have to agree with most of the posters. There have been numerous occasions that my family has gone out expecting to spend a nice evening enjoying a good meal that I didn’t prepare only to be subjected to children running up and down the aisles screaming or better yet standing up in the booth behind us kicking it while their parents enjoy their meals oblivious to the commotion their little angels are causing. Like my name says, I believe in old school parenting, not what I call these “New Fangled Parents who let the children run the show. I was always able to take my children to restaurants because they knew boundaries and were disciplined. We would always get compliments from other patrons on how well behaved our children were in public. Like it has been echoed, discipline and good manners start at home. If a child behaves that way in public just imagine what is going on at home.

By julie

June 6, 2006 10:44 AM | Link to this

Crying or unruly children should be removed from the situation BY THEIR PARENTS until they are calm enough to be returned. This is just proper etiquette.

By sue

June 6, 2006 10:50 AM | Link to this

There have been a lot of comments on teaching children how to behave in public. I totally agree. Children should be taught how to behave around other folks. They need to know that there will be other people at a restaurant and that they need to be aware of their feelings. If children can’t behave around other adults, they should stay home.

So do ADULTS. An adult has to learn that if they go out in public, there will be other people there. People of all ages. Including children. If an adult does not know how to behave around children, they should stay home.

I think a good rule of thumb is a children’s menu. If the restaurant has one, children should be welcome and a little bit of noise and fussing should be tolerated. If you don’t want to go to a restaurant with children, choose one that does not offer a children’s menu.

By Temp

June 6, 2006 10:51 AM | Link to this

Singlemom makes my point for me: “They don’t know what behaving is until they hit 4 or 5 years of age.”

If that is the case, why are you inflicting your 2 year old on people in a restaurant? By your own admission, you cannot control them.

I don’t pretend to know anything about parenting, but I do know how not to be jerk. And I know that includes trying not to disturb others while they are having a nice meal in a restaurant. So just as I wouldn’t stand up and start screaming in a restaurant or movie, I would expect the other patrons to do the same.

And the Heath’s statement that they have taken their kids to Ruth’s Chris makes my blood boil. While I might be willing to give them the benefit of the doubt at a restaurant in the Mall of Georgia, there is NO WAY they belong in a high end restaurant like that.

I understand that parents want to go out and have a nice meal from time to time, but in that case, hire a sitter and let everyone enjoy their meal.

By A PROUD PARENT of well behaved young adults (now)

June 6, 2006 10:52 AM | Link to this

My kids were always taught that when we went into a restaurant, the people dining weren’t there to listen to them cry, talk loudly or misbehave. When my children were still very young, (8-12 year old range), we went to Rio Bravo on Holcomb Bridge Road. There were several younger children there at a table of six adults. They allowed their children to run all over the place (the servers had to dodge them), there was more food on the floor than in the kids mouths and they were screaming as loud as could be and the parents were OBLIVIOUS. My kids commented to me, on the awful behavior of those kids and hoow I would never allow it. PARENTS NEED TO TEACH THEIR CHILDREN TO RESPECT OTHER PEOPLE, that is the bottom line. R-E-S-P-E-C-T!!!

By meghan

June 6, 2006 10:53 AM | Link to this

We just got back from a last minute three day trip with our 13 month daughter due to a death in the family and encountered almost all circumstances mentioned here (airplanes, eating out and funeral (subbing for the wedding reference). It was not fun and my husband and I are both exhausted (along with my daughter who is taking a morning nap for the first time in two months), but we actually received quite a few compliments from people throughout the trip regarding my daughter. Why? because we work hard to pay attention to and keep her entertained and feed. We always had a full supply of snacks and books/toys to keep her busy. We cleaned up dropped food at restaurants and took her out when she got fussy. I also did not attend all meals out and my husband brought back dinner for me the night the timing would have interferred with bedtime. You need to make adjustments when you have children. It is not about you and your child is not having a good time out if they are fussing at the table while you finish your meal…

By ATLien4Life!

June 6, 2006 10:55 AM | Link to this

Listen, if I wanted to be subjected to the tantrums of an undisciplined two-year old who felt screaming at the top of their lungs was an effective form of communication, I would have had my OWN by now!

And as far as “tolerance” goes, just becuase YOU tolerate your child’s hooliganism doesn’t mean I have to. Teach them to behave or STAY HOME!

By child-free

June 6, 2006 10:59 AM | Link to this

Dan, Your time analysis is right on! I go out to relax and enjoy myself. Not put up with others screaming childiren. Crying in the Fox Theater - not endearing. Running through the Botanical Garden’s Orchid center, bumping into me while I’m carring red wine — Not Endearing! And crying in a restaurant - really annoying. But the parents always smile, and act as if the obnoxious act of thier child is just “so cute.” It’s not cute. And even if they realize the child is being a brat, they don’t deserve 5 (10,15,or 30) minutes to shut it up before leaving the venue. They should remove it ASAP.

Cheers to the Fox Theater’s Wicked production for not allowing in children under 4, and discouraging children under 8. It was one of the most enjoyable productins I’ve been to, primarily, becuase there were no children squirming and whining in the seats infront of me.

By h_charles

June 6, 2006 10:59 AM | Link to this

Many posters are not making the key distinction here. Older children running wild around a restaurant should not be tolerated by any eating establishment, family friendly or not. However, there is a GREAT difference between that scenario and a two year olds temporary tantrum. In case none of you have ever had kids, these tantrums are normal part of a child’s development. They are inevitable, no matter what kind of parent you are. A restaurant that allows 2 year olds in must accept normal 2 year old behavior, as must partons who choose to eat at such establishments. That behavior means an occasional, unsolicited outburst that can be quieted quickly. IF the outburst cannot be quieted quickly (and some can’t), it is then up to the parents to remove the child from the situation. Sounds from the example that this couple should have been given another chance here.

By TenSixteen

June 6, 2006 10:59 AM | Link to this

Here is a great example of why small children should not be in restaurants:

My spouse and I were at Chili’s this weekend and a couple came in with 2 fussy kids…one about 6 months old and the other about 2. The 2 year old hollered and cried and wiggled in her high chair the whole time, grating on our nerves.

But this took the cake: The mother placed the baby over her shoulder to burp him after his feeding and he spit up…so I watched a baby vomit while I ate and the spit up slimed over the booth onto the back of my spouses shirt.

We were horrified but the couple just sheepishly grinned and went back to their meal…never an apology for any of the chaos they caused. They obviously didn’t care, so long as they were selfishly enjoying their meal.

By John

June 6, 2006 11:04 AM | Link to this

I don’t have children, and don’t desire to…but I have always felt that one of the costs of living in a civilized society is that we put up with other people’s children. Children occasionally misbehave so I would have probably cut Wendy Heath some slack…up to a point. I wasn’t there so I don’t know how bad her kid was.

But I have no tolerance for those parents that don’t even attempt to reign in their kids…and I’m referring to letting them run around in a restaurant and shouting at the tops of their lungs…sit ‘em down!! If I had jumped up and down like some of these kids do, my dad would have made sure I wouldn’t be sitting down for a week.

By Julie

June 6, 2006 11:05 AM | Link to this

When I go to a restaurant, I expect to be able to eat my meal without screaming babies or crying children interfering. It is disruptive to other patrons, just like a crying child in a movie theater. If I had a crying child, I would fully expect to remove him or her from the theater, restaurant, or wherever we were until the crying stopped.

By Fluff

June 6, 2006 11:06 AM | Link to this

First of all, the Heaths weren’t going to take the kids out of the restaurant. I think we ALL know that. They were oblivious to anyone and anything around them and she would have sat back down and continued the meal, crying brats and all.

Second, I don’t have kids for a reason. And I surely don’t want your little “angels” voicing their squealing opinions in my face when I’m trying to eat.

Third, keep the little demon-seeds on a LEASH when you’re out. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to stop what I’m doing (eating, grocery shopping, etc) and tell the little terror to “go find your mother.” Jeez people, I could be a child molester or something and take your kid before you can blink. Thankfully, I’m just a crotchety person who doesn’t want to be bothered with/by your offspring.

YOU had it, YOU control it!

By ATLien4Life!

June 6, 2006 11:08 AM | Link to this

h_charles,

No one is saying that a two year old won’t throw a tantrum; we know that’s gonna happen. However, from the example it’s obvious that the father should have done something while the mother was in the bathroom: Maybe, god forbid, gotten himself up and taken the child outside to calm down or to the bathroom. Look, if your child is gonna throw tantrums, they’re gonna throw tantrums. But there is always a way to handle it where we don’t have to deal with their problem, and that’s just what it is, THEIR problem.

By LG

June 6, 2006 11:10 AM | Link to this

If I don’t want to hear kids when I go out to dinner, I go to a restaurant without a kid menu. If I go to a restaurant with a kid menu, and a kid acts up - shame on me for going there. If I don’t want to hear two teenagers fighting, I leave them at home and eat in peace.

By B

June 6, 2006 11:14 AM | Link to this

I agree with Dan’s posting. The timeline in the article doesn’t ring true with me either. I know it’ll take a lot longer than 3 minutes to take a child to use the restroom and also a lot longer to upset other restaurant patrons. I do believe Ms Heath was exaggerating slightly! I wish the restaurant manager would respond to the article.

By Robert

June 6, 2006 11:17 AM | Link to this

Hold up everyone. You all were children at some point. Being the parent of a 2 yr old and a 4 yr old I know what it is like to want to go out to a nice restaurant and eat and have to juggle children, but the only way to teach a child how to behave is to let them experience the situation. What is worse to me is not children misbehaving but adults talking loud to the party they are with while you are trying to enjoy your dinner.

By CLS

June 6, 2006 11:20 AM | Link to this

The father of this child should have taken the child outside the minute she started crying, stopping at the hostess desk or at a server telling them to tell his wife. WHen the child calmed down return to the restaurant. If she didn’t then there are always togo boxes. The parents were wrong here to think that even two minutes of a tantrum are okay in any public place.

By ATLien4Life!

June 6, 2006 11:22 AM | Link to this

Let me make this very clear: I personally love children, so long as they’re well behaved or at least get DISCIPLINE when they’re not. A child giggling or drawing or just being a kid isn’t the problem here.

When did it become accepted that MISBEHAVIOR was just normal child behavior that parents allowed to happen as “kids being kids”, and when, praytell, did it become necessary for others to have to “tolerate” it as a part of the experience anytime children are involved?

This weekend was a perfect example. I spent the day at a friend’s house where there is this cute but absolutely horrendous 5year old little girl who gets no discipline from her mom, and cries at any given opportunity on top of being a royal pain in the a$$. While we were at their pool, she grabs my brand new cell phone, and comes over to the edge of the water to pool, and starts playing with it. Well, due the proximity to the pool, I told her in no uncertain terms to put the phone back where she found it. Of course, her older sister jumps on ME for it, saying i shouldn’t talk to a little girl like that. My question is, would I have to talk to her like that if she got even a semblance of discipline??? I think we all know the answer to that question. I agree: keep the little devil-spawns on a leash, and a muzzle couldn’t hurt.

By time for the truth

June 6, 2006 11:25 AM | Link to this

ZERO TOLERANCE FOR WHINING BRATTY KIDS!!

If folks cannot quietly enjoy a meal in a place they are paying for then the cause of that disruption should be removed. I have lost count of the times my wife and I have sat and watched snivelling bratty kids, loud bratty kids or kids running around as if the national sit down chain is a family playground. Screaming babies is one of the worst noise tortures - it goes right through you. And too often the parents just completely ignore it or do little to shut the kid up.

Invariably its loud, self absorbed white yankees, usually the (lower) middle class ones too, who are the worst offenders. A good many yankees also seem to think that total strangers want to hear their loud conversations and life histories. Generally speaking blacks, white southerners and hispanic types are decently behaved in food places. Obviously this is a generalisation -but one based on ten years or of enduring loud anti-social yankees. A couple of times its been so bad I’ve actually politely asked them to lower the noise and just got a torrent of abuse. I’ve spent a few months in NY and it was hell on earth - the south is way better - and contrast the difference between a small town in GA and the metro area and social behaviour. Sure birthday parties etc can get a little noisy but that’s a little different. No one wants to spoil other folks’ fun eating out - but there is an ‘unspoken’ line that increasingly boorish morons cross and then some!! A great deal of this is down to pathetic parenting - and the social norm is thus established and passed on and on …

Brainless/airhead teens are also worthy of a special mention in the morons in restaurants (and cinemas) problems. Though some are assiduously polite - which is always nice to see.

By ATLien4Life!

June 6, 2006 11:25 AM | Link to this

BTW, Robert, you’re totally right. I was a kid, too. And I remember it quite well, particularly the part where my safety would have been in danger had I ever behaved like that in my mother’s presence.

By CAE

June 6, 2006 11:26 AM | Link to this

HW, how did YOU act at two years old?? I bet the same as the other two year old in the story. I bet money you do not have children, if you do, they must be ROBOTS.

By Robert

June 6, 2006 11:26 AM | Link to this

ATLien4Life I agree parents should be able to discipline children on the spot, but do you know what would happen if I were to spank my child in public? That’s right, I would be carted off to prison, which is not where I would like to be.

By RC

June 6, 2006 11:29 AM | Link to this

All of this venom directed towards a family trying to dine in a family-oriented restaurant! It’s distressing to me that adults dining without kids that are sitting in the same family restaurant would not expect to hear a 2 year old cry. Yes, I agree - Dad should have done something to quiet the child. The manager should have told the parents that the other patrons are complaining and politefully request that the child’s crying is dealt with or they will be asked to leave. I agree that you should not bring small children to the movies - but that’s not what you were asked to respond to. These personal attacks on people are misguided also. Think before you blog.

By Getasitter

June 6, 2006 11:30 AM | Link to this

Sorry h_charles, I don’t think any restaurant is obligated to accept whatever behavior a two year old might display. Every human being sweats, but if you smell like a buffalo, you’ll be asked to leave. A big thanks to the manager who showed some sand, and made it a real family friendly place by kicking out this rude bunch. The mother shows about as much maturity as her two year old.

By ATLien4Life!

June 6, 2006 11:30 AM | Link to this

Robert, that’s why you take them out to the car, not spank them right in front of the other wannabe DFACS workers. Don’t even get me started on that crap. There is a clear difference between spanking and abuse, and these mindless morons don’t know it apparently.

By Mel

June 6, 2006 11:30 AM | Link to this

I have to agree that loud screaming children are inappropriate in any restaurant outside of fast food or Chuck E. Cheese. I agree that Ms. Heath’s article was one-sided and probably not accurate. I doubt she was kicked out after just a couple of minutes, but even if she were, that’s the restaurant’s choice. There are no “rights” for children to eat at restaurants. Or any of us for that matter. A restaurant can choose to serve or not to serve whomever they wish.

There is nothing more annoying that a child screaming, talking really loudly, bouncing on the seats, or running around while their parents completely ignore them or laugh at them like the behavior is adorable.

For the parents who have written to say they think the rest of us are intolerant, understand this….you should really be mad at the parents who don’t make their kids behave or leave the rest of us in peace. THEY cause the intolerance. I have been in restaurants where the children completely behaved, whether they were two or ten. I have been in restaurants where the children began acting up, but were dealt with swiftly and effectively. THAT’S good parenting, and I think a lot of us don’t mind that. Unfortunately, there are entirely too many parents who could care less how annoying their spoiled children are, or who ignore their screaming baby while they eat. It’s getting to the point where it happens almost every time I go out to eat. It has become a serious problem.

By nikki

June 6, 2006 11:32 AM | Link to this

It’s all about the parenting. These sound like the same kind of parents who are oblivous to what their children do in any store. I watched a lady at Lowe’s ignore her small child who was ramming an electric cart for disabled people repeatedly in to the wall. Then the mother walked out and casually told the child to “come on” It was another minute or so before “precious” stopped trying to demolish the wall.

You kids aren’t always cute to other people. If they cannot behave, stay home until they can.

By Robert

June 6, 2006 11:34 AM | Link to this

You know a lot of people are praising the manager of the so called “family restaurant” for kicking a family that is dining out. I wish I knew the name of the restaurant, because I would never dine there again. Last I checked the family consists of every member, not just adults.

By ATLien4Life!

June 6, 2006 11:35 AM | Link to this

Amen, Nikki and Mel!

By "dd"

June 6, 2006 11:37 AM | Link to this

Dear, dear Robert…. Would you think that is was o.k. for an adult to sit and scream and raise cain like some children do and the parents just sit there like nothing is wrong, and believe me if you have children that do not behave… don’t worry honey, we don’t want you there.

By ATLien4Life!

June 6, 2006 11:38 AM | Link to this

Actually, I would like to know the name of that restaurant and manager as well, because I could dine at a place where that junk wouldn’t be “tolerated”.

All we’re saying is you handle your kids before they become a problem for the rest of us. It’s not too much to ask; it’s called PARENTING. :))

By LMAFAO

June 6, 2006 11:39 AM | Link to this

Simply put, children should be taught manners in the home and public places. Parents should be taught how to teach children if they don’t already know how. In 1 of my experiences while having dinner out… there was a young couple with a child crying out. Everyone frowned, but not 1 person said anything (including the manager) it was at that time that my fiancée walked over to the table, she handed the child a single french fry, then walk off. The child was quite the moment the fry got to its mouth.

Need I say more of none experienced parenting??? I don’t tolerate crying out by any child, but instead of talking down to inexperienced parents, lend them a hand. We are all HUMAN!!!

By Josh Massey

June 6, 2006 11:40 AM | Link to this

I’m not nearly as concerned with restaurants as I am with movie theaters. There is NO reason for a child under 5 to be in any movie theater not showing a G-rated movie, and NO reason for a child under 13 to be in an R-rated movie. And trust me, I sat through an R-rated movie recently with a family of six right behind me, the kids talking the entire time.

I am a 5th grade teacher, so my tolerance of kids is quite large - but SHUT THEM UP in movie theaters. If you feel the need to talk during a movie, rent a DVD.

By Getasitter

June 6, 2006 11:41 AM | Link to this

Maybe there’s a lot of venom in this blog because there are so many idiot parents. Mrs. Heath’s bizarre expectation that everyone will endure her toddler’s tantrum with glee is ridiculous. Taking a tired, hungry, cranky two year old into a sit down restaurant is rude and inconsiderate to both other diners, and the child. The only people who benefit are the parents who get to enjoy a “grown-up” meal while everyone else (including their kids) is unhappy.

By Robert

June 6, 2006 11:41 AM | Link to this

dd, I appreciate your knowledge of children, but it is one thing for a two year old to want something and not be able to communicate what he/she wants and an adult (and I been in restaurants where teenaged young adults are unbecomming) to act in the same manner. So my question to you is should toddlers be expected to act like adults or are you saying adults should be expected to act like toddlers? What ever happened to childhood?

By time for the truth

June 6, 2006 11:42 AM | Link to this

Robert…

let me know which chains you eat at and I’ll do my very best to avoid them - your attitude seems pretty contemptible - you are obviously one of those who doesn’t care about others otherwise why be so snotty about the right of a private company to impose a bit of peace and quiet for ALL its paying customers.

You wouldn’t happen to be a yankee would you??

By Get Over It

June 6, 2006 11:42 AM | Link to this

Okay people get a grip! This was a Ruby Tuesday’s ( or something similar) at a MALL. This isn’t FINE DINING! Kids go to malls that’s life - GET OVER IT! If it bothers you eat somewhere else. Yes I would never take my 1 year old to Chops, or Ruth Chris’s or any upscale dining establishment. But if I go to Picture People in the mall and then stop at the mall restaurant, that’s just fine, crying kid or not. If it bothers you’ll so much, stop being cheap and impatient, crack open the wallet and go somewher nice!

By Mom of 2

June 6, 2006 11:44 AM | Link to this

OMG! Now by time for the truth wants to make this a north/south issue! Listen here buddy. I will take my yankee spawn out to a restaurant and they will behave just as well or better than those from the south. My kids are disciplined with a quick smack to the butt if they don’t behave. Don’t come to me saying crap like a yankee/southern position.

I’ve also been out without my children (got a sitter like a good parent when I wanted a quiet meal) and have heard plenty of ignorant people (north & south alike) talking loudly about crap that I’m glad my children were not with me. Who cares what position you “got her” and nobody, I mean NOBODY wants to hear foul language while dining. I’d rather have a noisy kid than a foul mouth adult anytime.

By nikki

June 6, 2006 11:44 AM | Link to this

I took mine everywhere - church, shopping, etc But when he misbehaved, he was taken out. Plain and simple. Parenting - show child that time out is for unacceptable behavior. Can’t go if you don’t behave. McDonalds is not a Montessori school where everything is tolerated.

By JustAskin'

June 6, 2006 11:45 AM | Link to this

Sometimes some parents do not use their “better” judgement. Just because you want to eat Olive Garden, I doubt the 2-8 year does. Sometimes, you have to put aside what you want to eat and settle for something else. Do everyone a favor (including yourself) and not do it. If the little ones are tired, constantly “sushing” them is going to aggravate and elevate the situation. It does get quite taxing when you hear a child cry over and over again. I have one of my own. There is no way I would put anyone through hearing mine cry. You want to enjoy your food and enjoy the environment. Ya, it was wrong to eject the family, but it was for the best.

By time for the truth

June 6, 2006 11:47 AM | Link to this

get over it …

you’re another selfish type - the folks in the mall are JUST as deserving of peace and quiet as anyone. kids need to learn self control in public - if not at home.

surely bratty little brats should be taught by example about the social niceties -even if its by say a restaurant manager and not the self absorbed idiot parent you seem to defend/be???

By def

June 6, 2006 11:47 AM | Link to this

The basic principals of good behavior start at HOME. When my 3 kids were little, dinner was served every night at the dinner table. My husband and I took the time to teach our children proper table manners and behavior. Some nights dinner ran a little long, but it was important that they learn these social graces as early as possible. Of course we had a few “breakdowns” in public. However, neither my husband nor myself ever hesitated to remove our little offenders quickly, pay for the uneaten meal (and tip our server)return home to a bowl of cereal and then bed. It seems to me that young parents of today (and even older parents) think that the “free spirit” of their child is much more important than the proper disipline and respect for others around them.

By ATLien4Life!

June 6, 2006 11:49 AM | Link to this

Get Over It, you wouldn’t happen to the parent of the one of the little “angels” I’m constantly tripping over at the mall because you can’t keep up with them, what with your bags and all, are you?

By Get Over It

June 6, 2006 11:49 AM | Link to this

Kudos, Mom of 2, I’ve been at some restaurants where the foul language that my child is exposed to is unbelievable!

And you can’t take anyone serious who is trying to make sweeping generalizations of a North/South. Because people from the South aren’t to smart, anyway (lol).

By Getasitter

June 6, 2006 11:50 AM | Link to this

Robert, there is nothing wrong with childhood. If you have kids, let them be kids. And that means not going about your day like they are little appendages, shopping in malls and then eating at sit-down restaurants where they can’t eat immediately or move about. When you do that,the kids are unhappy, and they cause a ruckus. I have no problem with the kids. It’s the entitled “I want everything my way” parents that should be sent to time-out.

By Get Over It

June 6, 2006 11:52 AM | Link to this

No, I actually have control over my child, but I also practice a little patience and tolerance for others - you know, how REAL CHRISTIANS do. I don’t think Jesus would be as ANGRY as most of you are over the little children!

By time for the truth

June 6, 2006 11:53 AM | Link to this

to mom …

the facts are undeniable - its invariably loud mouthy yankees that we see/hear being boorish - over 10 years its become that noticeable!!

sure some southerners/blacks etc have their loud selfish moments too - but away from the metro area in the less yankee populated areas its generally speaking much quieter in restaurants. which of course underlines my point. Not saying all yankees are boors of course - but a good number are .. deal with it!!

By Mom of 2

June 6, 2006 11:53 AM | Link to this

“By time for the Truth” you’re a moron. I am a parent and am doing it on my own. Sounds like you didn’t get enough hugs while you were growing up. Did mom & dad not pay enough attention to you?? :(

I am a yankee single parent & proud of it. My children were born in the south but that doesn’t make them any better than children born any other place.

Get over it…the south lost.

By Jeff

June 6, 2006 11:54 AM | Link to this

Most people who are writing in are just selfish individuals. Families do have the right to eat out. Parents should do their best to keep the children in line. But sometimes they may be a little loud and messy. I think you people who do not want to be around children should make that choice and not to eat out anywhere children may be. That will settle everything. And by the way, most family restaurants probably wouldnt mind you not coming in since most give all kinds of incentives to get families in their establishments. Monday ,tues, wed kids eat free etc.

By Get Over It

June 6, 2006 11:55 AM | Link to this

No, I’m not selfish at all - I have removed my child from a restaurant before - packed up and taken the food home when he got noisy - but again a few minutes of crying at a low-scale mall restaurant, not a big deal. Have a drink and relax.

By ATLien4Life!

June 6, 2006 11:55 AM | Link to this

Oh, so now we’re gonna make this a “Christian” issue??? Beautiful :>

Are those the same Christians that read the Bible where Proverbs says, “Don’t spare the rod”, and where God says “He whom he loves he will discipline”? Or is it some other Bible where those two are MISSING??? Please, don’t even go there.

By T.I.E.

June 6, 2006 11:55 AM | Link to this

I agree with the rude teenagers comment. Our teen son gets to sit in the car if he can’t behave. and heaven help him I find out he’s acting like that when I’m not there!

By Ms. Mott

June 6, 2006 11:56 AM | Link to this

Good Day,

You know most of your comments are the true reason why our kids are on drugs, in gangs, in jail, or crying out for help. I DO NOT care if you have kids or not, you should think about what your comments are and who is reading. What ever happen to “It takes a village to raise a kid”. Now here we are judging and venting about someone child’s behavior in public and not one of you made a suggestion on how this could be better maintained. This should be a lesson to the eatery the family visit. I wish, I had an ideal of what place Helen visit only to make sure I never attend. And who knows the food probably was crap the reason being for the kids crying out loud. Also for the record those that wants to eat out in quiet dining area, try going to a place where there is less to no family. Do not go to Ruby Tuesday, Fuddruckers, or Picadilly and others expecting to have a quiet meal with your wife, girlfriend, baby momma, or mistress.

By Robert

June 6, 2006 11:56 AM | Link to this

It’s absolutely amazing to me that so many people would be in an uproar about a two year old and a father who did not take the two year old out of the resaurant in a “timely” fashion. Listen people get over it, children have the right to spend quality times with there families. A family that eats together is less likely to separate than a family that ships the children off everytime they go out to eat. That’s why restaurants usually sit families with children in the same sections. If you want a quiet dinner in a controlled environment—eat dinner at home.

By time for the truth

June 6, 2006 11:57 AM | Link to this

now we see the usual yankee bigotry about the south love … its irrelevant whether you area single parent or a polygamist love - noisy brats are noisy brats. no idea whether yours are or not love - I dont care either - its the bigger picture here and you are dumb and simple enough to personalise it love.

By Jennifer

June 6, 2006 11:57 AM | Link to this

Obviously the dad isn’t involved with any of the “parenting”, since the child only responded to the mom to calm her down. Did he just not want to be bothered with his own child? What makes him think anyone else wants to deal with her, especially when they are trying to enjoy their meal. I would like to know the name of the restaurant also so my husband, my very well behaved son and I could go and eat in peace for once. I was a waitress in my 20s and it amazed me at the things “parents” let their kids get away with.

By nikki

June 6, 2006 11:57 AM | Link to this

Thanks Jeff You just made me realize that it’s not the kids I don’t like, it’s the “free range” parents. Kids can’t help it when they are not taught manners and respect.

By LMAFAO

June 6, 2006 11:58 AM | Link to this

I say if your child won’t behave, Beat that childs a* until it’s red!!!! then make them sit there and have a reason to cry!!! and if that don’t work and you’re sitting at the table next to stupid parents who should have never had the child in the 1st place, reash over and slap the parent too!!!

By meghan

June 6, 2006 11:59 AM | Link to this

Get over it and mom of two-

why are your crying, screaming kids any better then someone using inapproriate language? not a fan of either, but if everyone is expected to deal with your misbehaving kids, then we should probably be expected to deal with those misbehaving adults as well. sounds like we have some hypocrites on the board…

By Just a thought

June 6, 2006 12:02 PM | Link to this

I don’t understand how hard it can be for parents these days because I am not one…by choice. However, it has been my experience in the past that most parents feel others automatically like their kids as much as they do. Word to the wise, I don’t. Nothing is worse than trying to have a conversation at a restaurant over a screaming child. I won’t even touch the subject of movie theaters, airplanes, etc.

By Fluff

June 6, 2006 12:02 PM | Link to this

Get over it…I know EXACTLY who and what you are…and all that with benefit of never having made your acquaintance. You think the world revolves around YOU and whatever happens to be entertaining you at the moment. Prolly should have used a condom for one of those moments because you obviously aren’t ready for kids (did you have to drop out of highschool or did you go pregnant?). If I do happen to run across you at the Mall…where I RARELY go because of lame-brains like yourself, I WILL come over to your table and squeal in your face until you quiet your little monstah.

Something tells me you wear those little shorts that say “Juicy” on the fanny…and you AREN’T!

Get over YOURSELF! God, I feel sorry for your kids. They’re gonna be a bunch of little ganstas by the time they’re 8 and locked up in juvey by 12.

Mom of the Year folks!

By Getasitter

June 6, 2006 12:02 PM | Link to this

Oh, please, “it takes a village to raise a child”? Well, it sounds in this case like the village had to say something about the parents inconsideration/poor judgement, and the parents got all offended instead of listening. If you want kids to be part of the community, then you better accept the community having some input. From the looks of this blog, a lot of you parents don’t have a clue.

By Get Over It

June 6, 2006 12:04 PM | Link to this

Atlien, I’m not here to spew Biblical quotes, all I’m saying is an awful lot of people are getting worked up over a few minutes of crying at a MALL RESTAURANT. I’m sorry if Ruby Tuesday’s is upscale dining to you, but for most it isn’t. Try a little patience and less anger, like Jesus would do, though it seems your more into the blood and guts of the old testament!

By time for the truth

June 6, 2006 12:05 PM | Link to this

get over it

jesus is dead - so why bring him into it?

smug religious types can be just as boorish as empty headed, self absorbed, southern hating irresponsible yankee single mothers

By Mom of 2

June 6, 2006 12:07 PM | Link to this

Can’t win with a southern bigot like yourself. I’m sure you still blame the north for everything that has gone bad in your life. I’m done with you.

I love my children dearly. If they misbave ANYWHERE, they are removed from the situation. It’s called parenting. It’s hard, stressful, and a full time job. Whoever doesn’t recognize that needs a major adjustment in their own lives. Call your parents, I’m sure you weren’t the “angel” you claim to be as you were growing up.

I was spanked as a child and my children receive the same. Go ahead, call child services. They will not ever find a mark on my children. That fine line is not crossed as control is a part of proper disciplne.

On a side note, I’m not asking for sympathy from anyone. I didn’t choose my path as a single mom. I enjoy my children and all the time I spend with them. One day, they will figure out they outnumber me…

By "dd"

June 6, 2006 12:08 PM | Link to this

Robert, Children should be expected to act appropriate in public places. I have 4 grown childen with children of their own and whenever we go to a public place, my childen are always praised as to how well behaved they are. When a situation arrises all my children have to do is give “the look” at my grandchildren and they settle down.

By nikki

June 6, 2006 12:10 PM | Link to this

Ms. Mott - May I suggested a reading and comprehension class? Most of us suggested that if a child does not behave, remove him. Duh?

By time for the truth

June 6, 2006 12:10 PM | Link to this

@ try and get over it

stop ramming your smug, silly religion down people’s throat here for NO reason - other than to smugly inject religion into a non religious discussion about selfish self abosrbed parents and their bratty kids who seemingly haven’t been brought up too well.

By Yank ME!

June 6, 2006 12:11 PM | Link to this

Time for the Truth:

What is it with you and Yankees?

Oh, that’s right - you’re a southern BIGOT. Your posts on this blog begin with a senseless rant about “yankee single mothers” and then quickly elevate to a discussion of “blacks and hispanic types.”

I think you misplaced your hood.

By Get Over It

June 6, 2006 12:12 PM | Link to this

Fluff daddy, you obviously no very little about me. Because, you see I’m a man, who holds a master’s degree, who is ex-military, and who would rip your f@#cking head off and jam it up your A@#ss if your face ventured within a yard of my child.

And please don’t question anyone’s intelligence when you use the word “prolly”.

I’m very angry and must leave now, before I work myself up into a complete state of rage.

God bless, everyone.

By deegee

June 6, 2006 12:14 PM | Link to this

Oh heck, I was enjoying this until time for the troll chimed in. What a twisted mind. Now that we have injected racial, religious and geographical?? stereotyping into the mix I guess it’s time for the shut down.

By time for the truth

June 6, 2006 12:15 PM | Link to this

@bad mom of 2

I am ENGLISH love - you know - from England!

Hence the north/south thang is of no real consequence to me - but sadly often pretty mouthy loud yankees have invaded the south, (just like mexican illegals have) because of northern expensive housing etc and now the yankees are ruining restaurants in Dixie too!!

By nikki

June 6, 2006 12:16 PM | Link to this

IED has reared its ugly head.

By time for the truth

June 6, 2006 12:20 PM | Link to this

@ heebee deegeee

I didn’t inject religion, I did comment on loud yankees which is fair enough, given the problem. your hypocrisy is hilarious - nothing I’ve said is NOT fair comment. So once again you get to have your say and (implicitly) I “shouldn’t” have mine - that’s moral fascism.

By Getasitter

June 6, 2006 12:21 PM | Link to this

Hmmm…I guess Get Over It is off to show his Christlike behavior of ripping people’s heads off elsewhere. At least he departed with a “God Bless”. Wow, and he thinks we’re getting too worked up over crying children? He probaly would have put that poor manager in the hospital, had it been his kid causing a disturbance. He and Mrs. Heath need to attend some “act like an adult” classes.

By time for the truth

June 6, 2006 12:22 PM | Link to this

@ get over it ..

you see what I mean NOW about loud aggressive yankees!!

how can anyone who is level headed get angry @ a forum!! jesus wept - that’s truly sad!!

By Steve

June 6, 2006 12:25 PM | Link to this

This is great, lets discriminate first against something obvious like an upset child. Good that one is out of the way. Now that guy over there talks loud, lets get rid of him now. Good that takes care of, wait that lady is loud too lets get rid of her. Well that gets rid of the noise. Whew that ladies perfume stinks thats going to ruin my enjoyment, these people are drinking in public, her cleavage is showing, he’s a redneck, he’s black, she’s asian, he limps, she’s blonde etc etc etc just when do you draw the eventual line are noisy children just the start? Lets flip it all around if you are intolerant which most of you obviously are then why do you not stay in and let the rest of the world, of who the majority have children enjoy there social interaction screaming kids and all.

By Ms. Mott

June 6, 2006 12:27 PM | Link to this

FOR THE RECORD-All of you NORTHERNS needs to get the hell out of Georgia and go back to where you came from! SAYS ME-TRUE ATL

Now that’s Southern Manners!

By LMAFAO

June 6, 2006 12:28 PM | Link to this

OFF WITH THEIR HEADS I SAY!!!! IF A CHILD CAN’T KEEP HIS CRYIN’ QIUET, OFF WITH IT’S HEAD!!! AND TO THE PARENTS THAT LET THE CHILD CRY UNCONTROLABLY, OFF WITH THEIR HEADS TOO!!!!!!

By nikki

June 6, 2006 12:28 PM | Link to this

Check out the latest headline “child left at Chuckecheese” Boca raton fla It was his birthday and they left him. Case closed. Parents are stupid

By Deb

June 6, 2006 12:28 PM | Link to this

I’m not so ticked at a two year old that just doesn’t “get it” quite yet. However, I am incensed to read an entire article that in effect is taking me to task for a situation that this mother clearly does not comprehend. Your kid is the center of your universe and rightly so. You are constantly surrounded by this toddler turmoil and probably don’t even hear half of it. But this is your turmoil, not mine, to endure. Your child does not need training, you do. You and the many others out there like you need to be trained that your child is not the center of everyone’s universe. After they grow up you’ll realize this, unless by then a maitre’d has already strangled you with his bare hands.

By time for the truth

June 6, 2006 12:29 PM | Link to this

well said Ms Mott …

but then we’d have no one to complain about on these forums big smirk

By time for the truth

June 6, 2006 12:32 PM | Link to this

@ LMAFAO

careful mate, you’ll be accused of being a troll by the anal self appointed blog police.

BTW - what does the first ‘A’ in your handle stand for - think I understand the rest of it.

By Bonnie

June 6, 2006 12:34 PM | Link to this

A crying child can’t help being a crying child but I’m offended by Parents don’t hire babysitters.
Your right to dine out in public at My expense ends where my ears begin. Good for the restaurant, bad on the parents for their complete disregard for an Entire restaurant full of people, including those who hired babysitters so they could splurge on an evening out in peace.

By time for the truth

June 6, 2006 12:37 PM | Link to this

good points Bonnie

who’s to say that some/many of the younger “childless” couples in restaurants aren’t parents taking a well earned rest from jr.

Don’t hire a yankee baby sitter though - it could be get over it or one of his ‘kin’ smirk

By Fluff

June 6, 2006 12:39 PM | Link to this

Case and point! Get over it was spouting his belief instead of trying to understand WHY the kids causes problems. Just a tiny little push and he was effing this and that! Didn’t even take 12 minutes out of my day to prove that. Excellent religious fervor there!

And ‘scuse me Mr. High-and-Mighty…

FATHER of the year! But I guess you “no” that.

By Deborah Sanders

June 6, 2006 12:40 PM | Link to this

It isn’t logical to expect a 1, 2, or 3-year-old to behave well in a restaurant. They aren’t old enough to have learned manners and the consequences if they misbehave. It is easy to infer from the article, that this child wasn’t merely a little upset, the child was probably out of control and screaming non-stop. The parent should have removed the child from the restaurant until the child calmed down and then they could have returned. It isn’t appropriate to force this situation on a roomful of strangers, whether it is a restaurant, a store, a theatre or a church (or use the nursery, in this case). Simply step outside and calm the child and then return. That way, no one feels angry or resentful. I know the parents want to be able to go out and it isn’t always possible to get a sitter, but handle it wisely and everyone wins.

By Steve

June 6, 2006 12:44 PM | Link to this

I have a great idea, let’s cover ourselves in big sheets and pointy hats, then we will roam the land seeking crying children in resturants. Once these children have been found we will drag them and their parents out of the resturant and publicly beat or flog them. Then we will set up signs at these resturants that say “No Children Allowed”, and have special seats at the back of buses for them, they won’t be allowed to sit near us at ball games, or pee at the same latrines, or swim in the same pools. The possibilities are endless in our wonderful new world. It is so sad that we continue to make all the same stupid mistakes that we have made in the past because our prejudice and intolerance.

By nikki

June 6, 2006 12:45 PM | Link to this

Ms. Sander - Don’t knock it until you have tried it. I have. Children who can walk and talk can be shown how to behave, the earlier the better.

By HL

June 6, 2006 12:48 PM | Link to this

I have a one year old and we just had this happen to us. He is normally a very well behaved child at restaurants. Sometimes, he will “talk” louder than we would like, but we say use your indoor voice in a quiet way and he does too. But, Sunday he was tired and we should have known better. We sat down and he was fussing before the drinks arrived. We knew he was hungry and like always we had gold fish for him to snack on. Well, he wasn’t having it. So, my husband got up with him to walk out and I was left to get the bill and order the food to go. The waiter took forever to just come back to the table and my husband came back looking for me. I ended up sitting in the air conditioned car waiting for him and the food. We were in the back of the restaurant with only one table of people near us. But, we didn’t think we should make them suffer too. We got home with the food and he sat in his high chair and ate LOTS of his meal, then straight to nap. We have taken him everywhere and most times he is fine. Also, the church service he now goes to the nursery. He has since he was 12 weeks and would no longer take a nap during the service. The nursery has toys and he loves it.

By Mom of 2

June 6, 2006 12:51 PM | Link to this

AHHH. England, that explains everything. Maybe you should hop the next ship and head east.

So I am bad mother because I discipline my children with a swat on the butt. Wow. Most people would secretly disagree. Society has come to a halt on discipline. There are only a few times where I have seen time out actually work.

By Getasitter

June 6, 2006 12:52 PM | Link to this

Oh, great, now instead of sitting next to a crying two year old, I can sit next to a crying two year old being beaten by a parent. Nice. Look, it’s a restaurant, not a training center for your kids. If you need to discipline them, take them outside. Better yet, don’t put them in situations that are really stressful because you want to spend the whole day doing child-unfriendly activities.

By nikki

June 6, 2006 12:52 PM | Link to this

HL - You are one great parent. Hats off to your parents too because obviously they raised you to be respectful. Now that’s what we were talking about!

By anita

June 6, 2006 12:55 PM | Link to this

parentofone, you ARE the poster child for obnoxious parents. You have rights, your offspring have rights, your rights end when they hinder mine. Please please warn people in advance what restaraunt you will disrupt so we can go somewhere else. I like kids not monsters. I ahve 2 kids and they were actually TAUGHT something unlike the yuppies parents of today who cant be bothered from their video games or shopping.

By Ed

June 6, 2006 12:58 PM | Link to this

On behalf of all sane English people I would like to apologize to the rest of the blog for ‘By time for the truth’ who in no way represents normal English folk.

By Kevin

June 6, 2006 01:01 PM | Link to this

I am a guy without any kids and want to know one thing: Why exactly do people not hire babysitters?????? I know it cant be because of the money cause if you have enough $$ to eat out or see a movie then you have enough money for a babysitter!! NO REASON why a baby should be at a movie. Period. Little kids/babies should only go to restaurants catering to little kids. People are just IDIOTS when it come sto this!! Please show some respect and don’t be a nuisance!!!

By HL

June 6, 2006 01:01 PM | Link to this

Nikki - thank you.

By Nparry

June 6, 2006 01:03 PM | Link to this

Why is it OK for the kids to be disciplined at home and not OK for them to behave like drunk monkeys in restaurants, theaters, churches and other “public” places where they need to be considerate toward others. As the old Indian adage says ” to those who give birth, even the mongoose is very cute.” And so it goes, with parents who are totally oblivious to the wild behavior of their “cute” kids………..grow up parents!

By By Tony

June 6, 2006 01:03 PM | Link to this

I would rather sit next to a screaming kid, than listen to “Time for the Truth” drone on in that monotone, dull, boring English accent,

By anita

June 6, 2006 01:04 PM | Link to this

timeforthetruth: I AM a Yankee and it is NOT tolerated. Brats are brats regardless of the demon seed it came from or its location of birthing. I have seen a lot mor of since moving here but the brats have spread nationwide —they are a plague a pandemic.

By time for the truth

June 6, 2006 01:05 PM | Link to this

so much for the yankee promise of being “done with you” …

This is MY country now love - if you don’t like it you can leave. That’s what the pakis and indians etc say in England to anyone who criticises them. I am a US citizen so I have EQUAL rights of free speech etc to YOU!!

By jms

June 6, 2006 01:06 PM | Link to this

It is all about parenting! The choices WE make as a parent, did it ever occur to the parent who’s child is misbehaving that the child is not having a good time!! Why put a child who’s attention span is that of a knat in a situation that requires him/her to sit still for longer than 10 min!! I never took my kids out to dinner until they were 6 years old!! For many reasons but mainly because by that time of day they were not at their best!! If we went out to eat, it was to lunch, they had plenty training at a young age on how to behave IN PUBLIC!! If I took my kids with me when I went to the store I made sure I did not go for too long so they were “broken in” at a young age on how to behave IN PUBLIC!! Most of the time when I have witnessed a melt down in public I have seen it comming, the parent is unsually oblivious to the needs of the child and that is 99% of the problem. Understand the limits of your child and work WITHIN them, this handy hint will make it far more pleasant for everyone including the you the parent!! Most adults when they go out do so for relaxation, explain to me where in that word “relaxation” does the idea of witnessing a tantrum or wailing child fall? My children were also not taken to the ballet or Symphony or Chorus Concert at 2 or 3 years of age, as they could not sit still for an hour and a half, and it would not be an enjoyable experience for them or me or, nad here the BIG ONE, the people that would have had to sit near us!! I have been subjected too a child, that bounced up and down from his seat kicking my cream suit numerous times with his grubby shoes, totally ignored by his mother, until, I politly asked the mother if she would mind asking her child to not kick me every 2 min as he bounced around in his seat, she had three under the age of 5! What was she thinking bringing them to an hour long chorus concert? Bad parenting!! And it ruined what was supposed to be a pleasant afternoon for me! I have learned one thing NEVER to go to matenie during the holidays as all teh squiriming toddlers are out in mass with clueless parents “having a ‘GOOD’ time” I ask for who? Then I am on the recieving end of a snotty look… like I was being unreasonable! I wonder how she would have felt if it were my toddler marking her nice cream suit… somehow I think she would have said something too… then again I would have monitered my child to make sure she was not disturbing the person in the next seat. I had two small kids at one point, I did the considerate thing, I certainly do not want to be put in a situation where I have to deal with kids with less manners or public ettiqute than what I allowed from my own! Leave your unruly kids at home. Know what their limitations are! There is always take out if you are too lazy to cook. There are DVD’s!! At Christmas Get the DVD of the Nutcracker if you want your 2 or 3 year old to see it, it never ceases to amaze me how STUPID parents can be when they put their kids in situations neither of them can handle!! This is not about intolerance, most people have kids, we just want to enjoy an evening or afternoon out and while I eat out often there are those that eat out once in a while, and to those that think that a certain price point of restaurant = listening to a badley behaved child, you are selfish nad probably one of the STUPID parents out there, not everyone can afford to eat at Bones or Chops, so what you are saying is that on their anniversay or birthday they have to listen too and witness a screaming child? I think not!! Good for the restaurant for letting it be known that they care about all their diners!! And to any one who thinks that by not wanting to listen to a badly behaved or screaming child we are selfish, what does that make you… thinking that everyone wants to listen to your screaming child, I would say way more selfish!! My guess is we are in the majority when we say leave teh screamer at home!!

By John

June 6, 2006 01:06 PM | Link to this

I am a father of a 2 year old and a 4 year old. To the writer of the original piece: I would have stayed at the restaurant until I was forcibly removed. To everone else in here that has no heart: Grow up you selfish little jerks! The 2 year old had seperation issues because Mom left to go to the restroom with the other child. You are not the center of the universe. You are not entitled to never be offended. You had better never approach me in a public place with this crap unless you are ready to get it on. The 2 year old was just as entitled to be there as any one else period, end of story. Get Over It…

By bobby

June 6, 2006 01:08 PM | Link to this

Take’m to Chucky Cheese and make all the noise you want.

By Get Over It

June 6, 2006 01:08 PM | Link to this

Okay, I’ve calmed down.

Yes, there is a certain irony with my “God Bless everyone” ending and seeming contradictions with my earlier posts about preaching tolerance, but…

Fluff made an agressive remark towards my child, and be it a verbal or physical act, I don’t handle aggressive behavior well… it’s just how I’m wired…I go into full combat mode. It’s nonthinking reaction.

So really, I have not made anybody’s point as a few have suggested. If a child at a restaurant comes up to you and threatens you with aggressive behavior than I can see people getting upset. But a child isn’t intentionally doing anything to you (unlike Fluff was to me) so there is no need to get worked up.

And no, getasitter, if the manager asked me to leave I would do so, if he touched my child or became aggressive…it would be a different story.

See, I’m really a live and let live type of person as long as others aren’t intentially trying to do something to another person and as long as we are all respectful of one another.

By nikki

June 6, 2006 01:09 PM | Link to this

Bring it, John. Show your little monster what IED is like so they can get it right.

By L

June 6, 2006 01:10 PM | Link to this

Good for the manager. That needs to happen more often. Dining out, going to the movies, etc. I can’t even tell you all how many times in the last few months I have been to a 10:30 adult-rated movie and there have been screaming BABIES in the audience. Last week, a woman at a late showing rolled a stroller into the theater. Is there no common sense anymore?

By Cletus Snow

June 6, 2006 01:10 PM | Link to this

Children aren’t the problem the parents are. If the parents haven’t taught to behave properly the parents should be asked to leave.Its hard to blame the children for the parents lack of parenting skills. would you allow you’r kids to behave in that manner,if so then you should be ask to leave.PLEASE TAKE UNRULY CHILDREN TO CHUCKY CHEESES,LET THE REST OF US EAT IN PEACE.

By Mom of 2

June 6, 2006 01:12 PM | Link to this

Truth - I’m irresponsible because my hubby of 10 years decides to cheat…Oh boy. Responsiblity is a key to anybody who ends up a single parent. Whether by divorce or death.

Let’s start over. It doesn’t matter where you are from, what you do, or if you decide to have children. Discipline is the key to well behaved children. I don’t beat my children so don’t worry about sitting next to an “abused” child. I am not from Atlanta and would prefer to move but the father of my children is here and it would be irresponsible to take a father away from my children.

I do not expect my children to do well in a restaurant after a long day of “shopping” therefore we do get it to go. Besides, I plan my weekends to make sure everyone enjoys the time spent with each other. I appreciate my weekends that their father has them as that is when I do most of my non-so-kid friendly events (ie..shopping). I know when my kids have had enough. Last thing I need (and them) is a long wait at a restaurant. I have most of them saved on my cell anyway so a quick call..that’s all. Yes, I do cook but not everyday. My like is pretty busy with kids, work, traffic, pretty much life in general. I’d rather spend the time watching my kids, playing with them and just relaxing around the house with them than to cook a large meal. We do quick meals, 30 minutes or less. They are learning the proper table manners as they are 5 & almost 3. I have walked out before and will do it again. I have also walked out when there are annoying adults & teens and my children were being rather good. What does this tell you about the way society has gotten? We will tolorate disgusting language over a loud child?? I have ask people to curve their language before while at a restaurant…ya know what, it get worse. At least with a child, the parent can calm them done. Whether it takes 2 minutes or 5, at least it normally gets better.

By time for the truth

June 6, 2006 01:12 PM | Link to this

anita

fair enough - I didn’t say ALL yankees - but to repeat it is quite noticeable in metro area places. I agree that standards have been plummeting generally as the genetic pool has been badly polluted by drug/alcohol abusers and spoiled airheads having kids and having NO IDEA how to raise them.

The best, most practical solution is for restaurants to invest in shiny new cattle prods for punters without kids so they can prod the brats and the parents when the noise/brattishness exceeds acceptable levels.

By Nikita

June 6, 2006 01:14 PM | Link to this

Responding back to the original column/post, I’d like to know which restaurant that was so I can patronize it. I understand that all the parents out there would like anything that makes thee difficult moments easier. However, I am childfree, which means among other things that I am not invested in raising children. Kids will have lapses in behavior. But their parents, at that point, should realize that the only people who signed on to handle that behavior are the people who conceived the child and therefore the rest of us have no obligation to assist with or tolerate it.

In two related notes, kids have minimal value to those of us who aren’t raising them and therefore we have no interest in spending money to endure other people’s experiments in child-rearing. And as someone who used to wait tables, I can tell you that most restaurants dislike serving the ill-behaved portion of children for the simple reason that they make the experience worse for everyone else, as well as take up more room, make more demands on the staff, and make things radically dirtier than the average adult would. And it’s quite rare that they tip adequately to compensate for it.

By Kevin

June 6, 2006 01:15 PM | Link to this

Cletus—I agree. The paents are the fools. They really dont know how to raise their kids. Many dont have common sense. Chances are likely they were brought up poorly as well. Its a nasty cycle and normal people suffer for it. A crying baby at a restuarant is just as disruptive as an annoying drunk at a bar.

By time for the truth

June 6, 2006 01:16 PM | Link to this

@ bad mom :)

wow - you just keep on biting and biting …

look if you’re a good parent fine - you dont need to keep on telling us that - its like NOT being a criminal - its not something that you get/should expect public credit for.

By Allen

June 6, 2006 01:17 PM | Link to this

Our children are grown. We took them out from the time they were a few weeks old to train them how to behave in public. At one restaurant we frequented, the cashier and waitresses actually told us never to come back WITHOUT our children because they had grown so fond of them. My parents loved taking our kiddos out — one waitress said to them, “You can bring THEM back!” So now I am unbelievably intolerant of screaming kids. When did screaming become socially acceptable? I honestly don’t remember screaming children among those of my children’s ages (now late 20’s). I’ll never forget sitting at Applebees in the lower tier, my ear level with the second tier and a girl who looked to be 6 or 7 literally screamed at her mother (and in my ear.)

By Steve

June 6, 2006 01:17 PM | Link to this

“Tell me the Truth” just showed her true colors when she refered to Pakistani’s as Paki’s, a little like using the N word for black people. Obviously her malice is equally spread out over small children, yankees, colored people, religous people and probably anything or anybody else that displeases her, which appears to be a pretty extensive list. I am English and I am embarrased to think that this is the impression people on this blog may get of English people.

By Motorcycle Guy

June 6, 2006 01:18 PM | Link to this

It is good to see all of the comments. This is obviously a sore subject with many.

As most here, when I dine out, unless it is a fast food spot, I appreciate some respect. I’m usually there with my wife, and it is one of the few times we are alone and can talk in peace (we leave the rug rats at home). What happened to using babysitters? That is a win win for everyone.

But rude people come in all sizes, not just parents that feel they can let their idiot kids take over a place. I was recently in a restaurant and they seated us beside a group of kids. I rolled my eyes and thought ‘oh no’. On the other side two adult ‘children’ were conducting business on laptops. They were making a point of talking to each other loud enough for everyone to know their business. The kids on the other side were generally quiet and well mannered. So rudeness can come at 3 or 30 years old.

By CD

June 6, 2006 01:19 PM | Link to this

This seems pretty simple to me. If you patronize a restaurant that you have had a bad experience in due to children behaving inappropriately….don’t go back. That is called atmosphere..if you don’t like the atmosphere…don’t go back. Don’t spend your hard earned money there and have a unpleasant eating experience because of some disruptive child. I have children that are now grown so I do not fall into that category of people without children that are being accused of being judgemental. I did not subject other people to my children’s behaviors and I certainly don’t want to go through it with yours regardless of your child’s growing/socializing needs.

I do not like spending money somewhere and having to have my eating partner repeat portions of conversations because of disruptive children. So…if I have a bad dining experience because of families that CHOOSE to bring their misbehaving children there, I simply do not go back. I find somewhere else to dine. So….if there are children that are making my dining experience unpleasant, I will exercise my rights and leave the establishment. I will also let the manager know why I will not be going there in the future…..

By nikki

June 6, 2006 01:20 PM | Link to this

Another note - Our subdivision and my yard is not a playground for your kids. Keep them in your yard. Cause when the police come when they get run over, I will tell them you were no where around.

By mechelle

June 6, 2006 01:21 PM | Link to this

This blog just shows the mean spiritness of people in this world…..that is why the world is going to hell in a handbasket….

By anita

June 6, 2006 01:21 PM | Link to this

timeforthetruth: I ahve been given the name “honorary southerner” by many natives here…I dont tolerate loudmouths either, whether from “home” or this “home”….obnoxious is as obnoxious does! people are basically selfish bastards, you can see that everyday if you commute!..it follows through to their “offspring” or I like the term “devils spawn”…

By Getasitter

June 6, 2006 01:22 PM | Link to this

Well, Get over it, glad to see you’ve calmed down a bit. But don’t worry, John is here to carry the IED/I’ll Beat You Down If You Disagree With Me torch. But the last part of your post talked about being respectful. How respectful is it of anyone to take a child somewhere when it’s inappropriate? I (and several other posters) have made the point that the kid was tired and not happy. It’s the parents who wanted to indulge their desires to eat in that particular restaurant. And despite what John thinks (or threatens) other people eating shouldn’t have to sit through a full scale tantrum. And the kid shouldn’t have to sit through the parents “I want to eat HERE! NOW! tantrum either.

By Kevin

June 6, 2006 01:24 PM | Link to this

No, this blog proves how sick and tired people are over disrespectful parents with no consideration for others. I CANNOT STRESS ENOUGH—-get a dang babysitter!!!

By frank

June 6, 2006 01:26 PM | Link to this

I agree with Vita. Parents are not teaching their children manners and respect for others. Take the kid outside until they are quiet. Being polite is not being a second class citizen!! It is being considerate of others who are paying a lot to eat in a nice atmosphere.

The parents aren’t any better when the talk on the cell phones. In a Thai restaurant, I saw 2 women at the table and BOTH were talking on cell phones. Finally one woman went outside with her cell.

So take the crying kids and cell phones outside!!! When my kids are bad we take them outside.

By time for the truth

June 6, 2006 01:31 PM | Link to this

poor old ignorant bigot steve …

paki is merely an abbreviation like Brit, Aussie, Kiwi, Yank, Canuck etc. Indian friends of mine who are Sikhs and Hindus talk about pakis - are they racist too”

I am ashamed of Brits like you lying to Americans and imposing your nasty politically correct dogma!!

By dad

June 6, 2006 01:32 PM | Link to this

I’ve had to take my boy out of a restaraunt a couple of times. Trust me, no matter how much you dislike that he is crying, I dislike it worse. If I don’t take him to restaraunts, he’ll never learn. At this point, I’d say we have a successful quiet meal nine out of ten times. If you happen to be in the restaraunt on the tenth time, I apologize. I realize it is annoying. Try to survive. I also would suggest that you eat in more adult restaraunts if you don’t like kids. If you are eating at Stoney River, you might not expect kids. If you are eating at Mellow Mushroom, get over yourself. I tell my boy all the time. “try not to harsh anyone’s mellow.”

By Get Over It

June 6, 2006 01:33 PM | Link to this

Getasitter, we are talking about a few minutes in a MALL restaurant, I can’t comprehend anyone going to a MALL RESTAURANT for its atmosphere. In fact, I can’t imagine anyone going to a MALL RESTAURANT who hasn’t been shopping at the mall. I’m not defending parents who allow their children to be continually disruptive or who take them to an upscale restaurant, movie theater, etc. But Ruby Tuesday’s, in the afternoon, at the mall…come on, give me a little concurrment on this…

And a valid point was made in an earlier post many restaurants solicit family business, and not just Chucky Cheese. There are many kids eat free specials on weeknights, so if a restaurant is known to accommodate families and you have a hate for children, you probably shouldn’t go there, just like I won’t take my child to an upscale restaurant.

By ATLien4Life!

June 6, 2006 01:34 PM | Link to this

To John, listen, buddy, anytime, anywhere. If you have the type of kids that would have a manager asking you to leave, I would have to question your toughness anyway. The selfish little jerk is YOU, who apparently believes we should find your child’s utter stupidity and inability to behave like a human as endearing as you do. BTW, I would love to have had the opportunity to “forcibly” remove you from the premises. It woulda been fun.

By Kevin

June 6, 2006 01:34 PM | Link to this

I higly recommend that all parents buy Emily Post’s etiquette book on how to teach their children. Below is the link:

http://www.emilypost.com/etiquette/everyday/tipsforparents.htm

Another interesting link…

http://parents.berkeley.edu/advice/parents/restaurant.html

By time for the truth

June 6, 2006 01:35 PM | Link to this

if you were REALLY English you’d have spelt coloured correctly without thinking!!

I smell a nasty hateful troll!!

By CD

June 6, 2006 01:37 PM | Link to this

Explain something to me…when did the definition of “Family Restaurant” start translating to families with children that can not be controlled. And, how is that some of us are horrible “intolerant” people because we do not want to experience (because what is what we are doing by being in the presence of…) these children’s bad behaviors? McDonald’s, Burger King..they have playgrounds where children can run off their frustrations…Some of these parents appear to be saying that their children have every right to be there (bad behavior included) and you have no right to be upset about it..and if you are upset about it then you are the bad one and you hate children..What’s up with that?

By VTSassy

June 6, 2006 01:40 PM | Link to this

Yes, parents need to be respectful of others and teach their kids manners. I think thats pretty basic for all people, to be respectful and have manners, whether you have kids or not.

But I think its a shame that not one reply that I read ever expressed concern for the child - it might help you be a little more tolerant and a little less judgemental if instead of thinking to yourself, “Get that brat out of here” that you ask “I wonder whats wrong with the child, I hope they are ok”. Concern for others isnt just reserved for parents.

By Steve

June 6, 2006 01:43 PM | Link to this

“Time for the Truth” your defensive, you know what I stated is true and only somebody from England would have picked up on your malice for colored people, I spell as in my adopted country, and if being a “Troll” means that you smell bigotry and hatred, yes then I guess I am Troll

By nikki

June 6, 2006 01:44 PM | Link to this

VTSassy - that’s a bunch of crap. Have you ever been a mother? Mothers know instinctively when something is wrong with their child or any child for that matter. And I am a mother and most of what I see is uncontrolled temper tantrums and parents who do not know how to handle them.

By John

June 6, 2006 01:45 PM | Link to this

Everyone here will do something to irritate someone else every day. I am not threatening anyone, I simply said don’t approach me with this crap, just like I wouldn’t dream of approaching you and telling you to take your cell phone conversation outside (or any other annoying thing that you might be doing.) I can be just as easily offended by your intolerance of a child that is crying. For the people that suggest strong discipline in this case, you will be the first ones calling DFACS because a child was disciplined in a manner inconsistent with your beliefs. The best policy for all would be to “mind your own D**n business” in public and let the parents be the parents. You don’t have a clue as to how someone’s individual child will react to any given situation. BTW you were not pefect as a child nor are you perfect as an adult…….

By cd

June 6, 2006 01:45 PM | Link to this

I went to my sister in law’s spontaneously planned wedding dinner out of town after driving for 7 hours to attend the wedding. She thoughtlessly chose a nice non-kid friendly Italian restaraunt for her wedding dinner and made reservations. I had to bring my 2 young children because I couldn’t get spur of the moment babysitting immediately in a foreign place.
I got so many dirty looks for bringing my children to this restaraunt as if I was some trashy third world person. I just feel that people are so selfish and hateful when they look down on someone for having children. They want to be served and spoiled and don’t care what a mother’s situation is. They love to seize an opportunity to criticize someone and feel superior instead of empathizing with someone and helping. People are just nasty. What is so great about someone who can sit down and be served a nice dinner? What are they doing for society that demands such respect?

By Ronnie

June 6, 2006 01:45 PM | Link to this

I teach my kids to stand up for what they want. If that manifests itself as a public temper-tantrum, so be it. You just don’t get ahead in this world unless you stand up for yourself, and the sooner my kids learn that, the better!

By Steve

June 6, 2006 01:46 PM | Link to this

“Time for the Truth” your defensive, you know what I stated is true and only somebody from England would have picked up on your malice for colored people, I now spell as in my adopted country, and if being a “Troll” means that you smell bigotry and hatred, yes then I guess I am Troll not a hateful Troll, but yes a Troll

By Fluff

June 6, 2006 01:46 PM | Link to this

Okay Mr. Get Over It…when did I threaten your child? I said I would squeal in YOUR face until you got the kid under control. Not gonna lay a finger on your diseased offspring! And I don’t care if you are at the mall or not…control your kiddies. Manners are manners and you obviously have none or you wouldn’t let your seed spout incessantly in a restaurant. Did you need a Masters Degree to figure that out? Oh wait, you haven’t figured that out yet!

Bless This!

By Rod

June 6, 2006 01:47 PM | Link to this

VTSassy - we all know what was wrong with the child - the child is a brat with parents who don’t have the first clue about how to raise or discipline that child. I feel sorry for the teachers that will eventually have to come in contact with those people.

By Getasitter

June 6, 2006 01:49 PM | Link to this

Get over it, this was launched by Mrs. Heath. While I have no problem with kids acting like kids, her entire op-ed piece smacked of rudeness. Other posters have questioned her timeline (was that kid screaming for three minutes? Probably not.)And her husband having already participated by donating half his genetic pool, was apparently too challenged to do anything else to help raise his child. The kid was probably in a meltdown state, and the manager recognized this, and asked them to leave for the comfort of everyone else. I don’t mind kids having an occasional mometary outburst, but several minutes of screaming gets on anyone’s nerves that doesn’t currently live with a toddler. Even at a Ruby Tuesday’s at the mall. I wouldn’t go there for a marriage proposal, but it doesn’t mean I should be subjected to several minutes of nerve-jangling shrieking.

By Lee

June 6, 2006 01:50 PM | Link to this

It’s funny how people commenting here make assumptions about the father. The court of fools has convicted him of being a lazy non participant. Did it ever cross your mind that maybe he did try to calm the kid and it was not working? Did you ever think that a 2 year old would be more easily consoled by her mom than her dad? I know, he should have removed the child. The article states that he did not want to leave all their bags and his wife’s purse. Cut him some slack.

By Ron

June 6, 2006 01:50 PM | Link to this

cd - what a stupid comment!! If I go to a nice restaurant and pay my hard-earned money then yes, I expect a pleasant environment. I don’t want a jerk like you coming in there seeing how much noise you can make. If I went to a restaurant you were in and started screaming - would you smile or get p** off? Same thing with a child: you’re responsible for it’s behavior - it you don’t like it then stop breeding!

By Child haters need to calm down

June 6, 2006 01:52 PM | Link to this

Why does everyone assume it’s their “right” to peace and quiet when they go out to eat at a family-style restaurant at the mall? You can expect quiet at the Ritz Carlton or Rathbuns, but do you really “pay good money” for a quiet dining experience in the afternoon at a mall restaurant. It sounds like some people simply hate children and or love to feel like they are superior parents because their child never cried in public. And, for those of you suggesting Emily Post _ THE CHILD WAS 2 YEARS OLD! Do you really think a 2-year-old can learn what fork to use for dessert?

Again, I’ve got no problem expecting people to keep their children home or quiet at nice resaturants. But don’t expect it at a chain restaurant at the mall, especially at lunch.

By time for the truth

June 6, 2006 01:52 PM | Link to this

steve

your pathetic lame bluster is hilarious - moronically repeating the same lie is hardly debate!! you aren’t ENGLISH - not a big deal - but you thought you could make a few cheap dishonest points and got skewered!!

I’m just laughing at ya - you sad little plonker!!

By Emily Post

June 6, 2006 01:53 PM | Link to this

Lee - if the father was trying to quiet the child and the child would only respond to the mother - then, again, that’s poor parenting. Basic Parenting 101: Obey both parents. This woman and her husband had a family out of control and want to complain about how evil the restaurant was. She’s the villian here.

By nan

June 6, 2006 01:54 PM | Link to this

The majority seem to agree that obnoxious children and parents should give more respect to other diners in a restaraunt - what I disagree with is the overall assumption that all children are obnoxious and all parents today are slack. There are plenty of parents like me that take their children to appropriate restaraunts and command manners from their children or remove them when problems arrive. However, I and many other parents that have the same practices as I repeatedly experience the blunt rudeness of other diners requesting that we move to another table or giving ugly looks before we even sit down! Families with young children are judged innappropriately before given a chance. Believe me, it really hurts to have a child ask “Mommy, why doesn’t that man like us?” because he sees the repeated glares sent in our direction. Why does the general public act as if families are now second class citizens? The majority are responsible, courteous, and take their children to child appropriate places, but are continually reprimanded for the rudeness of a few. Get real people - you can’t punish an entire group for the wrongs of a few idiots.

By CulturalObserver

June 6, 2006 01:54 PM | Link to this

I have always found that the waitstaff in Asian (Chinese, Thai, Indian) restaurants treat children as a normal, desirable part of the human family rather than as alien ticking time-bombs. They smile at them, make some cute conversation, and the whole meal is off to a better start right there. I’ve always wondered about this difference. It applies even in restaurants without family menus and crayons. Anyone have any insight?

By Get Over It

June 6, 2006 01:55 PM | Link to this

Fluff daddy,

You know longer have the power to get under my skin. But I will say that any aggressive act, be it towards me, my wife or child will be met with the same reaction. We are one and the same.

God bless you fluffy and may he forgive your intolerance towards the children and the hate you feel inside. I will pray for you.

By ATLien4Life!

June 6, 2006 01:55 PM | Link to this

Newsflash, John: If your child is loud and annoying enough that it disturbes my dinner, then it is my d*&n business. And, BTW, I’m the one who made the comment about hating DFACS. If you did show stones enough to smack that kid in public, I’d give you a standing ovation.

By beepbeep

June 6, 2006 01:56 PM | Link to this

childhatersneedtocalmdown - let me splain this to you. Adult acting loudly can be charged with disorderly conduct. Children out of control should be removed from the restaurant. It is disorderly conduct. If the children are of a certain age, they can be charged with disorderly conduct and remanded to a juvenile facility.

By Harold

June 6, 2006 01:58 PM | Link to this

Harold says if you are dumb enough to eat in a restaurant where children are present, you get what you deserve.

By FG

June 6, 2006 02:00 PM | Link to this

My husband and I have gotten so fed up with this problem of bratty kids in resturants that now if they are sitting next to us, running around , just being AWFUL, and the parents do NOTHING - I start talking out loud about how there is NO Santa or Easter Bunny. Sounds cruel but it works like a charm! The parents get the message IMMEDIATELY.

By Get Over It

June 6, 2006 02:00 PM | Link to this

BeepBeep,

That’s right lets book those kids! Throw away the key. That damn 2 year old, someone quick call the cops! I love it. I see arrest for this all the time, great use of public resources.

By Getasitter

June 6, 2006 02:00 PM | Link to this

If dad didn’t want to be tried in the court of opinion, perhaps he should have reasoned with his wife before she wrote a piece ripping the restaurant manager. According to Mrs. Heath, that manager had more responsibility for calming her kid than her deer-in-the-headlights husband. Well, it’s easier to blame the manager than one’s own spouse, right? Evil, evil manager. Everything is the restaurant’s fault.

By Jane

June 6, 2006 02:02 PM | Link to this

I agree wholeheartedly with the manager. If I pay my hard earned money to go out to a restaurant I do not want to be subject to hearing a crying brat while I eat. The public should not cater to parents with young kids when they infringe on my rights. Either discipline your child, or take them to children’s restaurants, or keep them at home. It’s as simple as that.

By beepbeep

June 6, 2006 02:02 PM | Link to this

get over it - They do this in school when a kid is out of control and officials have had it. Sounds good to me if the parents can’t control them.

By Steve

June 6, 2006 02:03 PM | Link to this

“Time for the Truth”

I’m a sad little plonker from Fleetwood if you even know where that is? I’m dissapointed you did not call me a sad little wanker. However it seems that you believe you are the only English person out there, thats sad because you are a sad representative of that nation. Actually you are also correct, I took American citizenship as soon as I was able and am proud to know be American, so technically you are right I am a sad little plonker who got skewered by far more itelligent person. Certainly could not pull the wool over your eyes

By Kevin

June 6, 2006 02:03 PM | Link to this

No, The Emily Post suggestion is for YOU…the PARENT. Read it and learn what to do in certain situations with your kids. EVERYONE should buy the book!

By Get Over It

June 6, 2006 02:04 PM | Link to this

That’s right FG, PUNISH THE CHILD for the parent’s lack of discipline. Ruin the magic of Christmas for them so you can scarf down your six-dollar club sandwich. You and BeepBeep should team up and write a book about this. Simply Brilliant!

By JB

June 6, 2006 02:04 PM | Link to this

People People wake up!!!! That is a 2 years old!!! They are suppose to cry especially if the mother just left him. Their developmental stages have not even started to ocuur. You leave the restaurant and go back to you hole or home!!!!! I wish someone would ask me to leave a restaurant because my 2years grandson was crying. I would ### and call my lawyer.

By ATLien4Life!

June 6, 2006 02:04 PM | Link to this

Here’s a thought for all those screaming about “intolerance”: a definition of tol·er·ate ( P ) Pronunciation Key (tl-rt) tr.v. tol·er·at·ed, tol·er·at·ing, tol·er·ates To allow without prohibiting or opposing; permit. To recognize and respect (the rights, beliefs, or practices of others). To put up with; endure. See Synonyms at bear1.

Based on this definition, I am EXTREMELY intolerant.

I am intolerant of inept parents who in two years have not learned how to keep their child under control.

I am intolerant of screaming annoying little monsters who have been taught by their parents that screaming and yelling will get you what you want.

I am intolerant of bleeding hearts who feel that these inept parents’ problem should somehoe be my problem for no other reason than sheer proximity at a public place.

Hell yeah, I’m intolerant.

By LG

June 6, 2006 02:05 PM | Link to this

When my kids were young (under 7), we had this great restaurant. You ordered your food and went outside in the backyard. And there was over an acre of land with Little Tyke toys - slides, castles, houses, swings - and a small petting zoo. The kids played while waiting for the food, ate when they brought the food out, and played after they ate. I got downtime, the kids enjoyed themselves, the food was good, and part of the restaurant’s proceeds went to Make-A-Wish.

By CD

June 6, 2006 02:07 PM | Link to this

Hey Harold….I started smiling after I read your comment..because you are right. And that was my earlier point. If I don’t want to put up with children’s behaviors interfering with my dining experience, then I do not go to family restaurants. This works well until I do things like go to r-rated movies where parents have brought their small children…then I am stuck….

By ATLien4Life!

June 6, 2006 02:09 PM | Link to this

LG, what is the name of such a fine establishment? Could it be The HOME Bistro????

By Kevin

June 6, 2006 02:10 PM | Link to this

CD—I agree, There needs to be a minimum age requirement for movie theaters….not sure what it should be, but no one should EVER bring a “baby” to a theater.

By ce

June 6, 2006 02:10 PM | Link to this

When my children were young, we rarely went out to eat or to the movies as a courtesy to others but also to keep peace with us. Whenever we did go, if any of the children cried or jumped up on the seat to see other diners, one of us would get up and bring the children outside, if after a few minutes they were still crying or upset then the other would pay the tab, box up the food and we’d eat at home. As the children got older we taught them that they were not the only ones in this world and that they needed to respect others as well as us and themselves and pitching tantrums or being out of control was not acceptable. We never had to spank our children or scream at them to behave, we talked to them on a level they could understand and very rarely did we have any problems. I am a very patient person and am always amazed at the number of parents who just ignore their children’s cries and tantrums in public places, you do that and all you teach your children is where they are safest misbehaving. Usually an uncontrollable child is the direct result of an uncontrollable and self centered adult who has throw they hands up in frustration at a difficulty in parenting and decided to let others share in their misery. Its time parents not only take the responsibiliy but the interest in parenting, its a tough thing to do but if you want well adjusted children you better use discipline along with love or your children will not only distrust and disrepect you but run all over you. Well all need boundaries and children these days seem to be aching for someone to tell them no or to behave rather than the parents being their peers and letting them do whatever they want.

By CD

June 6, 2006 02:12 PM | Link to this

Oh…am I a bad person because I thought it was inappropriate for the parents that brought their 5 year old into see “Silent Hill” and he was raising hell….maybe I should be more tolerant and understanding, huh?

By Kevin

June 6, 2006 02:14 PM | Link to this

ce—NICE! ditto on that.

By time for the truth

June 6, 2006 02:14 PM | Link to this

Alright you’re from Lancashire - but who cares!! I didn’t call you a wanker cos the editors here can get uppity.

I am also a US citizen - and I am no more “representative” of the UK than you are. That’s an absurd point to even contemplate making!!

In case you didn’t know it - there are (up to 7 million Brits in the US at any given time - 70% have green cards or citizenship) so knowing that - how can I believe I’m the ONLY one out there??!!

Its always fun winding up the wee jobbies (no I’m not a jock) on here.

You Burnley, Blackpool. Wigan, Preston or what?

By LG

June 6, 2006 02:14 PM | Link to this

No, sorry! It’s a wonderful place outside of Lockport, NY. But it was the only place my kids wanted to go, so it’s the only place I took them. I wish there were places like that around Atanta. This blog would problably half the size if there were.

By Weim Mom

June 6, 2006 02:15 PM | Link to this

I ask: what kind of self-centered jerk would bring a two year old and a six year old to Ruth Chris Steakhouse? Yeah, that’s what I want to accompany my $40 filet mignon — a heaping side of screaming brat with a little extra banging of silverware on the table for good measure. That Heath woman deserved every bit of the criticism she received, and then some. She should either spring for a sitter (if she can afford $40 steaks, she can afford a babysitter), or eat at home.

By VTSassy

June 6, 2006 02:15 PM | Link to this

Rod Im not saying there aren’t brats out there, lord know there are many parents out there I want to shake and say “What the hell are you thinking?”

Im just saying that we want those parents to be concerned about how we’re feeling sitting next to their crying child, when a little concern on our part towards the child and maybe even their parents (Gosh, how embarrased they must feel) might go a long way to temper our attitude.

By Getasitter

June 6, 2006 02:16 PM | Link to this

Whoa there, Get Over It, you’re having an IED moment. Calm down. Unfortunately, most managers are too cowed by guys like you, John, or JB who wants to call his lawyer. So diners must fingure out how to solve problems on their own. Again, this whole mess was kicked off by a parent who felt like the center of the universe. Anybody in the restaurant trying to eat, instead of doing impromptu childcare, was wrong! How dare they! Faced with that sort of self-centeredness, other people have little choice. If the parents show no respect for their own kids (go ahead and sit there in misery while we shop and eat, honey!)then they don’t have a chance anyway.

By CD

June 6, 2006 02:19 PM | Link to this

See the here’s the thing Kevin…when I “glared” at them (and I don’t know if you have seen Silent Hill…nudity..violence)and their child running amock, not only did they glare back, but at the worst parts of the movie, they placed a coat over the child’s head. I finally couldn’t stand it anymore and left. Should I have taken a stand…based upon what I have read earlier in here, someone might have knocked me on my butt for being intolerant and a “child hater”..which I am not..

By John

June 6, 2006 02:20 PM | Link to this

Parents need to act responsibly toward their children and those around them. Are parents being singled out? No not really. Would you tolerate an adult screaming at the top of his/her lungs in a movie theatre, a restaurant, or any public place? No. How about an adult who turned around in his seat and stared at you in the booth next to him? Or interrupting you?

You see, it’s not a matter of society having little patience with children and parents of children. It is a matter of parents assuming that EVERYONE is okay with their poorly behaved or tired, etc. children.

I pay $10 to see a movie and I shouldn’t have to listen to a screaming kid all the way through it. And remember it’s not just me affected, it’s the other hundred plus people who paid to see the movie.

If you can’t afford a babysitter, then you can’t afford to go out!

That’s the way my parents operated and most of the parents of any of my friends then and now.

Common courtesy.

I applaud the restaurant manager for ejecting the family.

And for the record, what the heck was the father doing while the kid was screaming at the table? Was he just sitting there like a statue or is this a case of a single parent family?

By Child left at Chuck E. Cheese

June 6, 2006 02:22 PM | Link to this

Breaking News Story

For all of you who suggest taking small kids to Chuck E. Cheese, instead of a ‘sit down’ restaurant; make sure that you do not forget to bring your tot home with you, like the parent in the below news story did.

http://www.ajc.com/news/content/shared-gen/ap/National/BoyLeftBehind.html

By faith

June 6, 2006 02:24 PM | Link to this

Maybe BeepBeep and I will write a book about it because it sure seems like we have a HUGE target market!

By Childfree by Choice

June 6, 2006 02:26 PM | Link to this

To FG:

Brilliant! I’ll have to try your Santa Claus and Easter Bunny trick.

By Get Over It

June 6, 2006 02:26 PM | Link to this

Getasitter, you have not seen anything close to an IED moment. Just commenting like others on this blog. But you still refuse to concede the fact that a 3 minute cry at a MALL Restaurant at lunch is not showing gross intolerance for other patrons…but gross intolerance is getting furious that for 3 whole minutes you were subjected to bratty-snot-nosed-punk-kid, who made you talk louder into your cell phone so you could hear what your friend was saying! 3 whole minutes, don’t they know how important you are! By God, how dare they think of inconveniencing you!!

By Dad of 6

June 6, 2006 02:26 PM | Link to this

Wow! Such anger and downright hatred, let’s calm down. No, where’s the fun in that? My wife and I have six children. Most are grown now but I do remember when they were small and there were good and bad experiences. I do not like to be disturbed at dinner and so we made an effort not to disturb others. That requires a parent, like a Boy Scout, to be prepared. Like an earlier poster, we carried snacks, books and toys. We took care of our children and it didn’t take a village. Nor did it take beating my children, they have never been spanked. My wife is English and as a result, a trip to see Grandpa meant an eight to nine hour flight. I have been flying with children as young as three months. It can be done without disrupting the rest of the plane. All the parents have to do is their job. As for Mrs. Heath’s experience, I would like to hear the other side of that story. I find it hard to believe that she took a six year old to the bathroom and back in a “few” minutes. I wish that we could hear the manager’s version. I empathize with Mrs. Heath, I’m sure that she was embarrassed by the situation. However I do find fault with her for using the op ed page to vent her anger knowing that the restaurant would be in no position to defend itself. By the way, I’m not holding myself up as Father of the Year but I feel that we have done a good job with our children. My 26 year old daughter still calls me Daddy, a title that I hold dear.

By beepbeep

June 6, 2006 02:27 PM | Link to this

I’m tired, nobody is listening, just talking. I’m done.

By Getasitter

June 6, 2006 02:30 PM | Link to this

I’ll be first in line for that book. And at 265 (and counting) comments, the majority of them complaining about screaming children/jerk parents, there will be a pretty big audience. Hey Beni, any chance of finding that manager and letting him write a response to Mrs. Heath? Or of finding any willing restaurant employee? Sounds like a lot of parents need to tune in to an opinion on their little “angels” behavior. And we only have HER side of the story. How about equal time?

By Jennifer

June 6, 2006 02:31 PM | Link to this

You bitter anti-kid people are hilarious. You should have a kid or 2 and develop some patience. If you do have kids, I bet you have the “little darlings” who do no wrong that teachers love to talk about. Your kids were probably potty trained at 6 months, whipping up gourmet breakfasts by 3 and serving it to you as they spoke flawless French.

Here in the real world, 2-year olds cry. They have meltdowns, pick their nose, and fart at the table. You could realistically use a stun gun as punishment and it wouldn’t work. While we are talking about the real world, you aren’t getting ambiance at Ruby Tuesday in Buford!

By Get Over It

June 6, 2006 02:32 PM | Link to this

CD, what you should have done is asked the manager for a refund and freebies for your lousy experience and/or asked the manager to address the problem as soon as it arose.

You see, no one is saying that isn’t inappropriate, what I’m saying is most seem to have this shallow NO TOLERANCE policy, when each situation based on its variables requires a different response.

By George

June 6, 2006 02:33 PM | Link to this

For crying out loud people. We are talking about a two year old child. Yes, children should be taught to behave in public. Yes, parents should take control of the siuation. Yes, it sounds as though the mother did a very good job. She escorted her 5 year old to the restroom, leaving her 2 year with her husband. Small children are genenarlly more comfortable with their mom, so the young child crys. Big deal. Grow up and get over it. It sounds to me like all the complainers are the “REAL” kids here. If the parents are trying to keep the noise to a minimum, have patience. If the parents are doing nothing to control the situation, then you have a right to complain. Kids will be kids, and kids cry. However, please always remember that children are a special gift from God. Who am I? I’m the one that was always complaing about kids in public. That is, I WAS the one complaining until 23 years ago when I found out just how special children are. Yes, I made my children behave in public (sometimes, in retrospect, I was too strict}. Kids are special. We don’t have to allow them to tear the building down, but we must allow them to be children. GROW UP FOLKS

By Shannon

June 6, 2006 02:35 PM | Link to this

Well said, Dad of 6 !!!!!!

By sunflower

June 6, 2006 02:36 PM | Link to this

NO, I am not willing to tolerate the noise. Children do in public what they are allowed to do at home. It is the parents’ responsibility to remove the uncontrollable children for the peace of others. To bring a small child to the movies is disrespectful in this day of $8.50 movies. If I’m at Chuck E Cheese’s, I expect crying. If I’m at Ruth Chris’ NO WAY.

By Get Over It

June 6, 2006 02:38 PM | Link to this

George, what’s wrong with beating the snot out of a two-year old? People on this blog would applaud you! They’d say “there’s a man not afraid to show a little starch to a 2 year old who can’t communicate.” They’d probably give you medal - parent of the year for your tough love stance, cause then he’d really have something to cry about!

By Annie

June 6, 2006 02:41 PM | Link to this

I recently went to a Mexican restaurant for dinner with a couple of friends. It was mid-week, before school got out for the summer. We were in the mood for margaritas & wanted to catch up with each other so it seemed like the perfect plan.

The restaurant was completely crowded with kids of all ages, running wild around the tables. They were bumping into the waitstaff, who were simply trying to do their jobs. There was no discipline of any sort from any adult there - to be honest they ignored them and carried on their conversations. Though how they could hear anything about the noise these kids were making is beyond me.

We ended up just having one drink and not eating there because it was so obnoxious. And we haven’t been back since - can’t comfortably dine in a restaurant that tolerates such behaviour from kids and adults.

By LH

June 6, 2006 02:41 PM | Link to this

I have two children, ages 13 and 17. My husband and I took them out to nice places to eat a lot when they were little. In general they were very well behaved and we received compliments on their manners very often.

HOWEVER, each one had a terrible melt down ONCE, around the age of 2 1/2. One time it was in a wing joint with tons of video games, the other was in Dave & Buster’s for a birthday party. Both places were kid friendly, but I took them outside for a time out and cooling off period.

The first time I did this, upon returning to the restaurant, a woman that was a complete stranger, told my very young son that she knew I had spanked him and was considering calling the police. At that point I should have given myself a time out, instead I told her to F* OFF and took my son home.

I was shocked and embarassed by my own behavior. I did not realize until then how stressful it is to deal with a child that can not be reasoned with, and to have to do that in public with everyone watching and judging you.

So I guess my point is, if you have children that are not behaving, do something about it. And if you are subjected to parents that are not doing what you think they should be doing….. mind your own business and keep your mouth shut. Your rudness is not going to help the situation.

I have walked a mile in those shoes!!!

By Getasitter

June 6, 2006 02:43 PM | Link to this

Get Over It, if your earlier comment about ripping off someone’s head and stuffing it up their %&$#! wasn’t IED, I’m not sure what would qualify. And no, I’m not conceding a three minute cry is appropriate. Especially since it was probably longer than three minutes, a parent was present (in body anyhow) and the kid was tired and cranky. Mrs. Heath showed poor judgement in taking her two-year-old into a sit-down restaurant (never mind the trip to Ruth Chris’s…what is this woman thinking?)after a shopping trip. Her offendedness is centered on the fact that SHE couldn’t dine at Ruby Tuesday’s or whatever. And then has the nerve to verbally slam the manager via the AJC! She shows a disregard for other people such as those trying to eat, or restaurant managers that is breathtaking.

By Get Over It

June 6, 2006 02:43 PM | Link to this

Thanks, jennifer, I”ve said it a million times your spending fifteen bucks at lunch at mall restaurant and you want ambience? It’s like sending your burger back at McDonalds because it wasn’t cooked to your specific temperature!

By CD

June 6, 2006 02:44 PM | Link to this

OK…this is just starting to look like a “throw down”…So..the next time a child is acting up and making my movie/dinner experience unpleasant, what should protocol be? Get the manager? Ask for my $$ back and wait for the next time I have to ask for my $$ back yet again? OK I can do that…say something to the parents? — sounds like this might result in personal injury to me….

By Yes Please

June 6, 2006 02:45 PM | Link to this

**They serve children in restaurants now? Sweet! I’ll have my sauteed with a little garlic and onions. For dessert I’ll have a Girl Scout (the Brownies are still too green) a la mode, please.

YUMMY**

By RC

June 6, 2006 02:45 PM | Link to this

It takes a real IDIOT to say that they think that a 2 yr old cries because of faulty parenting. What a sick joke society has become. I tolerate crying just fine and even tell people with crying kids that apologize not to worry. I would admit there are places that are better suited for young ones……

RC

By Mel

June 6, 2006 02:46 PM | Link to this

How hard is it to understand that we are not all “kid haters” because we expect a little courtesy? That’s an illogical argument offered because you don’t have anything rational to say.

I haven’t had children yet, but I plan to. I love children, and spend a lot of time with friends who bring their children to restaurants. I have a much, much younger sister who I take to dinner and a movie once a month. Somehow, all the above-mentioned kids are either well-behaved, or, if they do act up or cry (one of my friends has a three-year-old), they are taken out of the restaurant and quieted, then come back. It’s called parenting. If you can’t teach your child respect for others, you are doing a disservice to them. Maybe YOU are the child-hater. Just a thought.

By Get Over It

June 6, 2006 02:47 PM | Link to this

Getasitter,

I was clearly provoked earlier!

And speaking of IED’s where’s all your anger and hate coming from?

By Shae

June 6, 2006 02:54 PM | Link to this

Let me start by saying that most of these comments are self-centered and rude. As well, people need to learn correct spelling and grammar before criticizing others for their parenting skills.
I have a 14 month old daughter who is a very good child. She’s a very happy and social child. I teach her right from wrong, but she’s just a child. I agree that parents should NOT take their children in public if they are not going to control and/or discipline them. I don’t like seeing children running wild, either. However, if a child starts to cry, people should be more tolerant of at least allowing the parent an opportunity to get the situation under control. My daughter doesn’t throw food or anything like that, but she’s just learning to feed herself and doesn’t always get all of her food in her mouth. However, I ALWAYS clean up after my child AND, provided that I receive good service, always leave at least a 25% tip. I’m guessing most of the people commenting do not have children. I used to be more critical until I became a parent. A child changes your life dramatically. I wouldn’t take my child to a non-family place because I want to be respectful of others. However, if I go to a place that is for FAMILIES, I do expect that I will hear at least one child cry before my meal is over. There was one instance, when my daughter was about 6 months old, where she started crying because she had a stomach ache. I tried to soothe her and after a couple of minutes, I then took her outside. I got my food to go and left. I don’t want to in any way ruin someone else’s dinner, but at the same time don’t ruin mine, either. I have been in places where adults are on the cell phone and talking extremely loud. Hearing a cell phone ring while I’m eating is way more annoying than a hungry child crying. Children don’t always know better, but adults should. Don’t talk about a baby until you can learn table manners yourself. Again, my daughter is a good child, but is still learning. I do my best to make the meal enjoyable for those around me, but I expect the same courtesy. I agree that children should not be allowed to run wild and I would NEVER allow my child to do that. I do teach my child manners, but, like everyone, she’s not perfect and sometimes has to be reminded — that’s how they LEARN. If my child cries in public, I will handle the situation. For those of you who think it’s fine to talk on your cell phone during a meal, rethink your table manners.

By Me

June 6, 2006 02:55 PM | Link to this

First of all, I want the name of that restaurant so I can dine there, free of yelling and annoying whining.

Second of all, I think that this idea that children are welcome everywhere is crap. Let us change the situation and say this is a dog. Sounds ridiculous? My dog is quiet and well behaved. My dog has never thrown a temper tantrum, screamed or been asked to leave an estabilshment.

Just because you have children does not mean you have to drag them everywhere, you selfish woman. I am sorry that you cannot go everywhere and do whatever you wish. You gave up that right when you became a mother.

By BC

June 6, 2006 02:57 PM | Link to this

I work at a local pharmacy at night and you wouldn’t believe the lack of supervision that the parents provide. They bring their children in as though the store is a playground and let their children run wild. They tear into packages, eat food, knock over displays, pull items off the shelves, spill food and drinks that have not been paid for, and run all through the store. One woman came in with her screaming child and he screamed for about 45 minutes at the top of his lungs before she left the store. We have had cases where the children wandered out of the store without their parent’s knowledge, and then the parents come to us wondering where their children are! There is absolutely ZERO parental supervision. Sometimes we have approached the parents and told them to please tell their children not to run through the store and you would think we just asked them to borrow $1,000 dollars! Some parents get nasty attitudes. We have had to tell parents to please keep their children with them while they are in the store. I have seen parents standing right beside their child while the child is tearing into merchandise and not say a thing to them. I do not understand it at all. It is even worse in restaurants. I am all for children being in public but ONLY if they are well behaved and under their parent’s supervision!

By Fluff

June 6, 2006 02:58 PM | Link to this

Let’s see if I can provoke him again…shall we?

Get over it…why are you so worried about other people’s hate or anger? You obviously haven’t learned to control your own…or your demon-seeds either. Worry about the LOG in your own eye before you try to take the splinter out of someone else’s. Isn’t that what your good book says? Hmm?

Weenie!

By Get Over It

June 6, 2006 02:59 PM | Link to this

CD - I’ll be honest, there’s no easy solution. I’ve almost stopped going to movies completely because of teenagers, cell phones, noisy children and noisy adults. It sucks, but if I can’t enjoy myself, why go. What I do now is wait until a movie has been out for three four weeks and then see it, there’s a lot fewer people in the audience, thus there’s a lot smaller chance of dealing with the B.S.

I’ll never see any movie on opening weekend, period. I’ve had people have full blown phone conversations while the movie’s playing, or constantly text messaging,so five rows in front, a ceel phone light keeps going on and off.

So basically, I’ve been chased away.

By Linda

June 6, 2006 03:00 PM | Link to this

What has come of this world that we have no tolerance for a child. It is nauseating to read what some of you “supposed” adults are saying about children. I hope you get the same tolerance if you are in an akward situation where you need some tolerance.

By Eloren

June 6, 2006 03:01 PM | Link to this

I used to be one of the people who rolled my eyes privately when I heard a young child crying at a nearby table. Now I have two of those little people of my own, and I sincerely apologize for every one of those impatient thoughts. A small child isn’t like an adult, there are just times they can’t be reasoned with. I don’t think that should mean that the parents should live in a cloister. There are some places better than others that they should go to, and some times work out better as well. The parents should be given the opportunity to calm down a restless child. And hopefully they know when to call it and ask for to-go boxes.

Children are being asked to grow up more quickly than ever before, and that’s a shame.