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Sunday, August 17, 2008
Finding love on the Internet
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
His wife and best friend of 16 years wanted a divorce.
It left Jerry Robb devastated. He found himself “out there” again, dating.
One day his office manager at the time suggested he look for romance on the Internet. Robb cringed. The only thing he thought he’d find in cyberspace were fruitcakes and nuts. He’d read horrific stories about Internet weirdos.
“I had read blurbs about stalkers or somebody getting raped,” he told me.
But his employee didn’t let up. She compared online dating to airplane mishaps. The planes that take off and land without incident never make the news; the ones that crash or have mechanical difficulties do. With most things, you only hear about the tragedies, she told him. That made sense to Robb of Duluth, so he registered at some singles Web sites. His perceptions about Internet dating and the type of women he’d meet did a 360.
“I assumed there were a bunch of derelicts online, ” he said. “But it wasn’t.”
Robb’s experience with cyberdating inspired him to pen a manuscript - “Finding Love on the Internet.” It’s a how-to guide on Internet dating that tackles the subject in less than 100 pages. The guide, which he plans to self-publish and market, is chocked full of advice on everything from safety to interpreting E-mails.
Early on, he addresses computer literacy, discussing hardware, cable hook-up and expenses. Then he moves onto Internet singles Web sites, membership fees and profile writing.
The heart of the book, though, are the personal stories. Robb interviewed about 300 men and women from across the country who were willing to share their experiences with services such as Matchmaker.com. Their names have been changed to protect their privacy.
“Faintofheart” from Minneapolis told Robb a story about a woman he’d talked to via E-mail and on the cell phone. One day, he asked if she’d like to meet for coffee. The woman declined because of a rule: Before meeting anyone, she had to exchange at least 15 E-mails and have five phone calls. “Faintofheart” never talked to her again.
Robb says the target audience for his book are singles who are 40 and older. They’ve probably been married for a number of years when they suddenly find themselves single. They get back into the dating game but are uncomfortable trying to find Mr. or Miss Right in a bar or through blind dates set up by friends.
“I think the Internet is the best place to go for people over 40,” said Robb, 61. “But you have to remember there are good people and bad people. You might get an E-mail that’s insulting or something like that. But all you have to do is delete the E-mail and block the sender.”
Robb hasn’t found love on the Internet yet. But he’s made life-long friends.
“Whatever it took for us to have a relationship wasn’t there, but I have five or six very good friends who would not be my friend if it wasn’t for the Internet,” he said. “There is not a lot to lose in trying Internet dating. You meet some interesting people.” Jerry Robb can be reached at Jrobb3328@aol.com.
Rick Badie updates his blog daily. Readers can discuss the people, places, events and topics he writes about may post comments online or contact Badie directly. He can be reached at 770-263-3875 or via e-mail: rbadie@ajc.com.
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