Home > Gwinnett > Rick Badie / My Opinion > Archives > 2008 > January > 16 > Entry
DEL.ICIO.US“A lovely example of honoring, cherishing”
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
She donated the overhead lift, wheelchairs and shower trolley to the Shepherd Center.
A paralyzed Secret Service agent got the bed, exercise mat and standing table.
The equipment had been Christopher J. Smith’s lifeline for nearly three years. Thirty-three months and two days, to be exact. He suffered a heart attack in March 2005. It left him in a vegetative state.
Kathy Smith, his wife of 17 years, didn’t put him in a nursing home, though. She retrofitted their Lawrenceville home so she could care for her husband, also a U.S. Secret Service agent.
She trained at the Shepherd Center to learn what to do. To sit him up. To stand him up. To exercise him from head to toe.
:We took it to the nth degree,” she said. “It’s what you do when you love someone.”
I first wrote about the Smiths in July 2006. That year daughter Caitlin ran the Peachtree Road Race to honor her dad, an avid jogger. Last June, I revisited the family to see whether there had been any improvement in Chris’ condition, something Kathy held out hope for. He’d begun to occasionally smile, hold his head up and lift his arms and legs. Kathy found joy in each small step.
Now, hope is gone, but not necessarily the way you might think.
It’s 6 a.m. Dec. 27. Time for Chris, 44, to get his morning liquid nourishment. He had the hiccups. Kathy prayed.
“I asked the Blessed Mother to cradle Chris in her arms and to make his hiccups go away,” she told me. “I told the Blessed Mother to whisper in sweet Jesus’ ear and ask him to take care of Chris.”
The hiccups lasted about 30 minutes. Kathy lay down on the couch to nap. She was awakened at 7 a.m. by a nurse arriving for duty.
“My hope is gone,” she said, “but I’m at peace. I’m not at peace with his death. I am at peace with how he went. That 30 minutes of prayer gave me peace. My hope is gone, but my circle isn’t broken because I know I will be with him again.”
I got an e-mail about Chris’ death during the holidays, while I was on vacation. The Badie tour stopped by to offer condolences Wednesday. I find Kathy’s commitment to her husband, their marriage, remarkable. Great love. Great strength. Great example. She kept her vow to honor and cherish till death.
Could you?
The Smiths enjoyed all types of music, especially rock. That’s what Chris listened to whenever he went jogging. “He was a headbanger,” Kathy told me.
He had a pair of boxer shorts that had “ACDC” printed on the front. A line from one of that band’s most favorite songs (and album title) graced the back: “For those about to rock …” The boxers were a gift from Caitlin, 16. She wanted him buried in them.
He was, on Jan. 2, in Hendersonville, N.C.
“I think [the boxers] were appropriate,” said Kathy, who asks that the community pray for her family. “He’s going to heaven to be with the angels. What beautiful music he’ll hear.”
Rick Badie’s column appears on Sundays, Tuesdays and Thursdays. Contact him at 770-263-3875 or e-mail rbadie@ajc.com.
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Comments
By Sandy_G
January 16, 2008 11:03 PM | Link to this
In a society where the loving union of a woman and a man in marriage is often treated as something less than sacred, to be trampled on by our own selfish behavior or tossed aside when it’s “just not working”, stories like these serve to remind us what the commitment of love and marriage is supposed to mean.
Whenever we need reminding of what true love is and how we should treat our spouses (and others as well), First Corinthians, Chapter 13 says it eloquently:
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
I will remember Kathy and her family in my prayers.
By Jae
January 17, 2008 10:27 AM | Link to this
Not many couples that I know could or would honor their wedding vows like this. You probably wouldn’t either, Mr. Badie.
My respect and admiration to the Smith family.
By laney
January 18, 2008 11:40 AM | Link to this
I am so proud of my sister in law. She has shown what true love will do and gave true meaning in “til death do we part”. Kathy I love you and Cait!
By Bruce Wicox
January 18, 2008 1:32 PM | Link to this
Jae your remark was uncalled for and ignorant, no one knows how they will handle a situation like this until they’re faced with it. Many would be surprised at the courage people can muster when tragedy strikes a loved one. Hopefully Rick or none of us will have to face such a test.
Laney you should be proud, your sister in law is the example for us all.
By Airborne
January 25, 2008 9:05 PM | Link to this
Jae it seems like you had a rough marriage or relationship to make a comment like you did about Rick.Do you know anything about his personal life?