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Sunday, July 29, 2007
Cocktail hour tradition leads to lasting friendship
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Every afternoon, without fail, the elderly couple sat on their back deck and sipped cocktails.
One day, Jerry Robb, a newcomer in the Duluth subdivision, introduced himself to Helen and Bob Miller. They started inviting him over for afternoon toddies. It marked the start of a tradition.
“At 5 o’clock, they would show up at my fence and yell, ‘The bar’s open.’ That’s how we met.”
Bob — Helen’s hubby of 12 years — died nine years ago. The afternoon social hour continues on Robb’s backyard patio.
Miller, 86, suffers from macular degeneration. The former accountant and bookkeeper can’t read or drive. A personal care assistant lives with her.
And she’s got a friend in Robb, 60, a divorced salesman. He mows her lawn and reads books and articles to her when they gather in the evenings. He installed a walkway to connect their houses. Miller, mother of four, doesn’t have to brave the street to visit.
“A lot of people have told me over the years that I have been sent from God to take care of Helen,” Robb told me. “I didn’t believe it at first, but now I do. This is an old lady and sometimes she can be [intolerable] like many old people. But I’ve always liked talking to old people.”
The late comedian Richard Pryor had a joke about young people and the elderly. “You don’t get old by being a fool,” he’d say, adding a punch line about “smart” young people that’s unprintable.
Like Robb, I enjoy conversing with senior citizens. It’s fun to mingle with some of the greatest generation at the Gwinnett Veterans Memorial Museum. Or to play ping pong with Bill York, an 81-year-old retiree in Lilburn. Or to talk civil rights with Norcross’ Nathaniel Brown, who helped integrate public schools.
On Thursday, I dined with Robb, Miller and her daughter, Julie Harper, who was visiting from Port Charlotte, Fla. Social hour convened on Robb’s back patio, where we proceeded to solve the world’s problems.
Miller told stories about growing up in East Atlanta, attending boarding school, and disliking the family’s move to Gwinnett, then a backwater depot. She tied dates to events with ease. Robb knew some of the tales as well as she.
“A lot of young people think they are smarter than God,” he told me. “They think they don’t need to talk to anybody. Once you reach 25 or 30 years old, you begin to realize how smart old people are. You don’t get wisdom from studying. You get it from old age.”
Listen. Learn.
• Rick Badie’s column appears on Sundays, Tuesdays and Thursdays. Contact him at 770-263-3875 or e-mail rbadie@ajc.com.
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