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Sunday, July 1, 2007
You’re your kid’s parent, not a barkeep
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
In April, a high school senior died after boozing it up at an after-prom party.
Leland “Lee” Martin, 18, of Winder, suffocated because he, drunkenly, laid in a position that cut off his breath. “Positional asphyxia,” it’s called.
The April 28 party was held at the Auburn home of Barbara Ann Michael. She was out of town at the time, but authorities say she knew underage drinking would take place. Michael was charged with one count of party to a crime of furnishing alcohol to a minor, among other things.
Apparently, when it comes to kids and alcohol, hers is the face of a peculiar breed of adults. They supply the pad, maybe help teens secure the six-packs or whiskey for the hunch punch.
That, at least, is the impression 32,373 Gwinnett kids gave in a survey that asked about alcohol consumption.
The 2006 youth health survey, conducted by the nonprofit Gwinnett Coalition for Health and Human Services, contains startling data about the lives our kids lead.
The response to one question in particular, though, caused my brow to crease: More than 50 percent of high school students say they have used alcohol.
Guess where they get it? About a third say they get it from family members or some other adult.
And that’s a shame, especially where it concerns parents.
It’s a pitiful sight to observe a parent who’s more friend than teacher, nurturer or disciplinarian to their offspring. Their kids run the show.
Call me old-fashioned, country, out of touch, whatever, but children should have a healthy fear of their parents. I’m not talking about a fear fueled by abuse, but one based on mutual respect, and an understanding of roles and rules, right and wrong, what’s condoned and unacceptable.
That can’t happen when you replace the label of parent with one that spells “bud,” “pal,” “equal.” It’s a dangerous path to tread, especially when you throw in alcohol, the drug most abused by minors.
I’d imagine parents who provide alcohol to teens consider themselves well-meaning and practical, that they justify their actions by saying that kids are going to drink anyway. That’s so wrong.
Illegal, too.
Just ask Michael, the Auburn woman accused of allowing underage drinking in her home.
Ellen Gerstein, the coalition’s executive director, suggests parents go to the nonprofit’s Web site (www.gwinnettcoalition.org.) and download the survey. It includes tips for parents and resources.
“I talk to parents who say their kids don’t drink, but how do they know what kids are doing when they go to a friend’s house?” Gerstein said. “Parents are the first line of defense.”
Let me close with one other tell-tale stat from the survey: Most high school students don’t think adults would disapprove of their alcohol use.
Maybe that’s because so many parents give it to them.
• Rick Badie’s column appears on Sundays, Tuesdays and Thursdays. Contact him at 770-263-3875 or e-mail rbadie@ajc.com.
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