Home > Gwinnett > Rick Badie / My Opinion > Archives > 2007 > June > 10 > Entry
DEL.ICIO.USCivility the main thing missing in the online world
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Before I dive into today’s topic, I’d like to explain the origins of the Amity Ruth Kozak story.
Her obit appeared in last Sunday’s AJC Gwinnett News. The family’s request that donations be made to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (www.ncadv.org) caught my attention.
On Monday, Tim Stewart Funeral Home contacted the Lawrenceville family for me. Minutes later, Pat Kozak called and talked about her daughter’s adventurous life and the cruddy details of her death.
That Kozak, a sun and beach lover, had moved to Florida with a friend at 19.
That she’d recently been in town to attend her brother’s birthday party.
That on May 30, she was found beaten to death in the West Palm Beach apartment of her ex-boyfriend, Helder “Sonny” Peixoto, and that on the same day, he committed suicide.
Police on Wednesday said that Peixoto, 34, beat Kozak, 29, with a hammer. He took his own life by jumping from the 11th floor of a condo in downtown West Palm. Horrific.
But the comments some readers posted to the May 5 Kozak column were equally callous, cold and cruel.
“… This Peixoto man probably couldn’t get a DECENT woman to go out with him,” wrote Marita, who used caps for effect. “I wonder if there would have been such a hue & outcry if the ex-stripper was fat/ugly.”
“Anonymous” was brazen enough to address the family, calling the young woman a “gold-digger.”
When the comments rolled in, Anisha Frizzell, an AJC Gwinnett News online producer, correctly “unpublished” them. She eventually discontinued reader input, out of respect for Kozak’s family and friends.
To the family, I apologize for the vileness.
The mean-spirited responses to the column, though, exemplify what I detest about the inescapable world of electronic communication. Some people use online forums for crass dialog, to say things they’d never say face to face.
Punctuation and grammar have long been casualties of cyberspace. (The use of “your” instead of “you’re,” for example). Lack of civility, though, takes the virtual cake.
It’s become the medium to denigrate, attack, name-call, opine about people, events, and occurrences based on flimsy facts, asinine assumptions, flat-out lies.
Granted, online dabblers are no more twisted than people in the “real” world. They’re just empowered by anonymity, fake e-mail addresses and pseudo-nyms. Unfortunately, newspapers don’t filter them.
Because Kozak once worked at a strip club, some readers trashed her character. Because she left the burbs for the city, she was unwholesome, money hungry. Forget the sick suitor, domestic violence.
Last week, I tried to contact some of the people who posted so much tripe about Kozak. Only “Anonymous,” Midtown resident, called late Friday to sing an apologetic tune.
As for the others, I’m still waiting.
• Rick Badie’s column appears on Sundays, Tuesdays and Thursdays. Contact him at 770-263-3875 or e-mail: rbadie@ajc.com.
Permalink | Comments (14) | Post your comment | Categories: Rick Badie
Comments
By Bruce Wilcox
June 10, 2007 9:33 AM | Link to this
Not all that long ago some were forced to show their bravery and hate by hiding by a sheet. Today they can do it while enjoying the safety of hiding behind a computer screen. Some may feel the comparison is a little extreme, but hate is hate folks.
Some playful well placed satire is perfectly acceptable, is that not true Mr. Smith? The majority that comment on these blogs are respectful and intelligent, but all it takes is a few.
Some of us print our full names, I like that, it shows the person is not afraid to voice their opinion. I can understand why many can not, it just seems that those who use the strangest handles also have the meanest comments.
Welcome to the Brave, make that Not So Brave New World.
By Sis
June 10, 2007 10:11 AM | Link to this
Great article today, and unfortunately, too true.
I read the column the other day, went back to post, but was unable to do so. Domestic violence is a scary thing, and too often dismissed. Right now, my family is very concerned about a guy my sister is dating. Some family members and her friends have expressed concerns, but she doesn’t hear us. She defends him and makes exuses for him. As far as anyone is aware, he’s not threatened her or physically harmed her. However, he exhibits stalker-like traits. It’s a frightening situation, because you just never know who these nuts will turn on, or when.
By zombieboy
June 10, 2007 10:14 AM | Link to this
Great column, Rick.
You are absolutely correct in your comments.
It is one thing to be flippant and in some cases “witty” in posting in certain types of blog sbubjects.
It is quite another to be extremely mean-spirited and cause more pain for family members with callous comments.
Family members cannot pick the lifestyle of other family members, but the can still love them and grieve when they are no longer with us. In this case a brutal murder which compounds their grief.
By Michael H. Smith
June 10, 2007 10:30 AM | Link to this
One person’s “playful satire” thought well placed is to the other person a personal attack and after a long series of bullyboy tactics a return of fire in kind is to be expected Mr. Wilcox.
So next time you ask something along these lines “does mommy know you’re on her computer again”, expect to have your intelligence slaughtered publicly at some point in time, by someone’s return of well placed satire.
Now not to vary off topic too far, if that hasn’t already been done; the AJC could by choice require a user registration to make online comments Mr. Badie. It’s not fool-proof but it could drastically cut down on the ridiculous.
As to the tragic death of this lady, it is only made more tragic by disrespect for her after death.
By RegularJoe
June 10, 2007 11:50 AM | Link to this
Hello Rick, I like your blogs, but like many blogs they are often uncivil and too long (the comment portions).
You have people who personally attack any who disagree with them. That really helps their credibility.
You have “professional posters”. If a person has time post about everything, all the time, do they really know anything?
Multiple posters who argue for hours, stretching the comments portion out, hijacking the blog from others you want to hear from.
Your publisher did the right thing when she stopped reader input. You have a responsibility to stop input when people are uncivil and it should be your standards. If people don’t like it, they can start their own blog.
By single parent w/2 girls
June 11, 2007 9:32 AM | Link to this
Rick your commentary is right on. Sometimes it is so depressing to read the hateful comments of folks that don’t seem to be able to ever put themselves in someone elses shoes. It would be nice if people could add their two cents in a respectful way and then let others chime in. The hateful comments and back and forth are enough for many of us to lose interest in the blog. The intelligent exchange of ideas may not be for the masses afterall.
By Jennifer
June 11, 2007 10:41 AM | Link to this
Since when is it a reporter’s job to criticize freedom of speech. While you or I may not agree with the thoughts expressed, it is everyone’s right (not always to the benefit of society) to have their voices heard. Just report objectively and let us decide.
By Bruce Wilcox
June 11, 2007 12:27 PM | Link to this
Ah Jennifer, are you saying columnists can not express their opinions? I think you’re confusing a news article with an opinion piece.
Another misconception many have is that blogs are fair game for anything a person may want to rant, not so. The AJC owns the blogs, they have rules and at times are forced to enforce them.
There are rules and limitations on the freedom of speech in almost every forum you could imagine.
By woodie
June 11, 2007 12:47 PM | Link to this
Actually, I think people’s true feelings and nature are more apparent in an online scenario than in person. Is this a good thing or a bad thing? Perhaps there is good and bad. But honestly, this poor girl is murdered by a loonatic and I can’t see how she can be blamed in this scenario. This kind of sentiment is typical however. In fact, the police do this all the time. Somebody gets shot, and they start looking at the victim like they did something wrong. No surprise people are adopting this mentality. It’s all over TV and the news.
By Jennifer
June 11, 2007 1:18 PM | Link to this
I did note that this was an opinion piece after I hit the send button—my bad. But I’m tired of continually being told the “proper” way to think, and I’m not about to take it from someone who works for a news rag. What happened to this girl was awful; It doesn’t get any more so. Some of the comments are mean-spirited and out-right ludicrous. Let us just roll our eyes at these comments and move on. We folks out here in the bloghosphere are smarter than you give us credit for.
By Ms. Writer
June 11, 2007 3:09 PM | Link to this
I agree Rick and I think that the online forum is one of the few which you can truly see how someone feels. People seldomn express these racist, sexist, et cetera feelings face to face from fear of being ostracized. I am young and I actually though that racism was getting better in America—from reading blogs online—I realize otherwise.
By War Eagle
June 11, 2007 3:38 PM | Link to this
What I want to know is-how fast did the condo she was living in get on the market and why was her ex allowed in and not arrested for suspicion of murder? this makes no sense-why would a RE agent opent the door to a dead persons condo? just a young girl who got caught up in a lie and it cost her-what a shame. As for those criticizing stripping…you gotta do what you can legally to pay the bills and stripping beats pimping and drug dealing. Unless you are in Zimbabwe-then it is probably legal.
By khlpid wjia
June 18, 2007 5:33 PM | Link to this
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By khlpid wjia
June 18, 2007 5:34 PM | Link to this
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