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DEL.ICIO.USHow soon we forget after tragedies
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
The West Ambler-Johnston Hall was an all-girls dorm when Lee Loving attended Virginia Tech.
Now it’s coed.
Loving found that out Monday as he watched TV coverage of the massacre at his alma mater. He didn’t know what had happened until a co-worker shipped him an e-mail around 1 p.m.
“I didn’t have the TV on,” said Loving, a 1977 Tech grad who majored in finance and insurance.
Now, it’s hard to turn it off. For Loving, and many of us.
This is a familiar script. We know our cues, what roles to play. And we play them well, on autopilot.
A tragedy — and in the case of Virginia Tech, the word is apropos — takes place. The media exhaust nearly every obvious angle then create a few. This tragedy carries an irresistible headline: “Deadliest shooting rampage in modern U.S. history.”
Tech-savvy college students post comments on blogs, Web sites and Face book. Those who were caught in the midst of the chaos send text messages or call news outlets to share stories. Talking heads and experts offer up instant political and personal analyses.
Elected officials (President Bush) and aspiring politicians (U.S. Sen. Barack Obama) send their condolences. Vigils, memorial services and convocations take place. Thousands attend. They light candles, sign sympathy boards, cry, pray, stare silently. Wonder.
There’s nothing inherently wrong with any of this. My question, though, is this:
What do we change, collectively and individually, in the weeks, months and years after the credits run for this two-hour rampage?
What do we do to help erase, even remotely, the chance of something like this happening again?
“We get back to life too soon,” said Robert Pulley, a Norcross waiter who graduated with a psychology degree from Virginia Tech in 1995. “For the families of the victims, it will be with them forever. For the rest of us, we respect their mourning and loss, but we get back to life very soon.
“You take five minutes out, catch your breath and move on. I know I have to work tomorrow.”
Pulley doesn’t mean to be callous. He’s just calling it like he sees it, the way we are.
After Sept. 11, displaying a U.S. flag became the “in thing.” You couldn’t drive down a road in Gwinnett without seeing them pasted on vehicles. I often wondered whether the drivers lived a life that embodied the spirit of the Stars and Stripes.
Look at cars on the road today. Those flags, generally, have long lost their luster. And they haven’t been replaced. Symbolic outrage one minute. Indifference the next.
Ultimately, Cho Seung-Hui, the alleged gunman in the Virginia Tech massacre, is responsible for his actions. Nobody else is.
But disturbed individuals like him are still our problem, and we ought to reach out. Talk to them, or at least talk to somebody who can help. Exhibit goodwill.
That’s not us, though. Seldom do we get involved. We shy away from troubled people, even when we live among them.
Not all snap, arm themselves with weaponry and go hunting for humans.
It can happen, though.
We saw it at Columbine High. We saw it at the University of Texas at Austin.
And we saw it Monday.
“If there is ever a time that the school will pull together, it’s now,” Loving, the Virginia Tech grad who lives in Snellville, told me.
“Hopefully, students will reach out even more to those who they see shunning themselves from others. Maybe they will be more sensitive.”
We all should be.
Rick Badie’s column usually appears on Sundays, Tuesdays and Thursdays. Contact him at 770-263-3875 or e-mail rbadie@ajc.com.
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Comments
By Bruce Wilcox
April 18, 2007 10:42 AM | Link to this
Strang 33 young men and women are killed on a campus and the question is “What do we change, collectively and individually, in the weeks, months and years after the credits run for this two-hour rampage?”
Now we have almost 3,300 young men and women getting killed in Iraq in a four year rampage and nothing changes? We do not welcome the fallen hero’s home with the honors they deserve, by order of the President the arrival home is hidden. Recently we found out how badly our veterans were being at Walter Reed and what happens at Walter Reed happens at all VA’s. We do not pay higher taxes for the war, we just charge it, there is no rationing, we suffer nothing?
It was a terrorist act that took 33 lives, maybe we should just send in more police to secure the campus and move on. All the media should stop the coverage on Friday, like Iraq, why should we have to suffer for someone else’s act?
Out of sight, out of mind.
By rumi
April 18, 2007 10:59 AM | Link to this
The tendency is to blame the fickle media for the overwhelming sensationalism and saturation of salacious stories, but this media is spawned by our culture. Lots of dramatization and navel gazing when it affects us directly,but we have a short attention span and are easily distracted. Is it any wonder that we move along once the show is over? I have to admit that when I took my Newsweek out of my mailbox yesterday and saw Imus’ picture on the cover, I thought: that is soooo last week.
I’m not sure what the solution is to all this apathy, ennui, desensitivity. But, as your headline suggests, we should not go back to sleep.
By des
April 18, 2007 12:01 PM | Link to this
This all points back to mental health treatment in the United States. There is none. They get little treatment. They may be homeless, in jail or walking the street and working next to you. Everyone may see it but there is no avenue to take to get them help. Oddly enough, there was a story on dateline this week about a schizophrenic man who begged a mental health center for at least 3 months to give him another doctor and different medication, that something was going to happen if they didn’t. Not only did they ignore it, even the day he shot 5 people, they told his brother they couldn’t do anything until it escalated. We are a society who cannot get involved. What does that say.
By Jack
April 18, 2007 3:35 PM | Link to this
This was a huge tragedy but whenever their is a useless killing its a tragedy. Before I answer your questions, let’s ask ourselves a few questions:
Okay collectively we need to get rid of the hate, violence, and racism. We need to be more loving, caring and compassionate toward one anouther. We need to help those that need help and fight for the weaker person. Instead of shunning and alienating those that show signs of being troubled or those that show signs of needing mental health, we need to be proactive and take every neccessary step to get them help. Be nice and friendly to everyone. We as a nation have alot of changes to make and a long way to go. We have alot of laws that need made, improved and changed. We need to pray for God to give our law makers and leaders the abililty, wisdom and courage to make the right decisions. We need to come together in unity and become a true melting pot.
Okay here is were I will make alot of people angry. Individually I think it starts at home with the parents. Parents need to step up to the plate and assume the role of being the example, the parent and mentor. Parents need to shower their children with love, spending quality time as a family and unit, showing them that you truly care about them and their feelings, showing them that your always their for them. The parents need to raise the children to love and respect instead of hating and being racist or using voilence to solve disagreements. Parents need to teach thier children to give instead of take. Parents need to teach their children to accept someone for their differences, race, culture, religion. Parents need to teach their children how to help the weak, where to go to get help for someone. Parents need to teach their children love, acceptance and forgivness. Parents are responsible for their childrens health and well fare until they are 18. So if they show signs of needing counseling, psychologist or psychiatrist then get them that help. Raise your children to be responsible, mature adults that will be a positive product of society. It starts at home people.
I personally raise my children in church and for me personally it truly helps. In a christian environment that learn love, to give, respect, morals, values, ect..ect.. A family that prays together, stays together.
And PLEASE never forget tragedys and wars such as Iraq. We should be thankful and praise our men and women in uniform, for they see tradgedy everyday of their lives in Iraq. Lets take these horrible events and use them as a lesson and learning experience. Lets take these horrible events and use them to make positive improvements in our world and nation. Lets use them to always ask, what can we do better, what can we change, what can we improve, how can we prevent this in the future. Be a winner and not a loser. A winner asks how can I solve this problem, how can I be a positive link in the chain. A loser says thier is no solutions to the problem, its to hard to overcome, its not worth the time to figure out.
By Chuck
April 18, 2007 6:22 PM | Link to this
As usual, many have missed the point, and I think that was part of Rick’s point. Anyway, college campuses are not war zones. Those of us still able to care (even for the tortured and twisted perpetrator) should remain thankful.
By Yardley
April 18, 2007 9:38 PM | Link to this
“But disturbed individuals like him are still our problem, and we ought to reach out. Talk to them, or at least talk to somebody who can help. Exhibit goodwill.
That’s not us, though. Seldom do we get involved. We shy away from troubled people, even when we live among them.”
What an absolutely insipid and doltish comment. The press if full of stories of people who tried to reach out to this lunatic. Time and again. He ignored them. He was taken before a magistrate who ordered him to have a physiological evaluation. He was diagnosed as a threat to himself but not to others. He was asked repeatedly to go to counseling. He repeatedly refused. The problem wasn’t that people didn’t try to help him, it’s that they left the choice of getting effective help (read-institutionalization) up to him.
By Michael H. Smith
April 18, 2007 11:38 PM | Link to this
Yardly - your comments about this guy were on target. Which means possibly a loss of more personal freedoms once the media and politicians have dissected this thing and attempt efforts to have it never happen again.
A free society is very risky business, with many faults and few assurances to avoid tragedies in spite of the best efforts, intentions and flawed safeguards that are written into law.
By Jane Pretty
April 18, 2007 11:51 PM | Link to this
Dear Rick,
I live in a country not void of violence. However, the violence we get here in is rather mild when compared with whats happening in the USA. A country I have grown up to know as a super power. As a country that goes out of its way to defend the weak and protect the innocent. So why is this massacre happening over and over again. Why isnt the problem addressed? The US Government spends in millions rehabilitating drug addicts, closing down their plants, on drug burst etc…whats going on the sale of weapons ????!!!!! Why why why are the laws so lenient!!! ??? Must you lose a son or daughter to get awareness. What happened to prevention is better than cure? Massacres are done not by sane people! As we are fully aware sanity is something a professional needs to address. So are professional psychologist selling guns…….NO NO..anyone who has obtained a permit is allowed to sell a gun, am I right????? We have qualified pharmacist to sell us medication…which if wrongly used kills the very person that misused it. I wouldnt really worry about that but there you go…only trained or qualified pharmacist can dispense medicine! Oh well, a gun kills dozens or millions and who sells them ……???? Leave the schools and parents alone……going back to basics and trying to reeducate them is not going to work. Like small pox, eradicate guns weapons that are sold over the counter. To get a bank loan to buy a house is so difficult. There are banks where you cant even open an account without high recommendation from another top official…there you go selling guns like pain killer for headaches……!Pretty Jane