Home > Gwinnett > Rick Badie / My Opinion > Archives > 2006 > April > 25 > Entry
DEL.ICIO.USShowing love doesn’t have to cost you a $3,600 prom dress
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
With $3,600 I could:
A) Fill my car up 90 times.
B) Take my family to Europe.
C) Buy a prom dress.
You may have seen the story on high school proms in Sunday’s AJC Gwinnett News. It’s accompanied by a photo of a Loganville girl trying on a $3,600 gown at Cinderella’s Closet in Lilburn. The price tag was no typo.
Maybe the young lady (more on that later) knew better. Perhaps she was just trying the gown on, as women are apt to do. You know — checking out its feel and fit.
Tammy Ussery-Bakhtiari has owned Cinderella’s Closet for 11 years. She’s seen styles come and go — from skimpy and bare to this year’s hip look — “old Hollywood.” Chic. Elegant. More respectful.
The $3,600 dress is an egregious exception to what’s typically spent. This prom season, girls are forking over between $200 and $500 for dresses at Cinderella’s.
Don’t think for a minute, though, that high-end gowns linger on the showroom floor. And it’s not always the young ladies who want to spend the equivalent of a Third World income for a dress.
Moms, sometimes, get outrageous. Ussery-Bakhtiari’s seen it.
Last year, a mother came in with the youngest of her three daughters. This would be Mom’s last prom experience, so she wanted to make it truly special. Mom told her daughter she could spend up to $3,500.
The child balked.
“She said, ‘That’s a lot of money,’ ” Ussery-Bakhtiari recalled. “She tried on a $300 dress and she said, ‘Mom, I love this one just as much.’ “
We love our kids. Blindly, sometimes. Our love gets dressed up and expressed in materialistic ways. It’s hard to say no to spendthriftiness. It’s everywhere. Look around your crib. Or the house of your kid’s friends.
My son has a PlayStation 2. So do most of his pals. Many of them have the portable PlayStation 2, too. Miles says he needs one, badly, and that he’s the only one without. Oh, the depravity.
Our kids learn nothing when we bow down and buy them everything they want. Or what’s in vogue. And don’t fool yourself into thinking it’s love. It’s something, but not necessarily love.
Miles was a preschooler when the Home Depot on Jimmy Carter Boulevard was being built. I didn’t work Fridays, so I’d pick him up about noon. One day, I bought a bag of Krystal burgers, fries and drinks. We parked at the massive construction site, ate our lunch, and watched the bulldozers, backhoes and tractors clear dirt. He still talks about that.
And he’ll probably think about that experience long after the PlayStation 2 and its hybrids have been rendered obsolete. When he’s grown, has a family of his own, and his kids bug him for the latest must-have gizmo.
I suspect the same would apply to the girl with the $3,600 prom dress — whoever winds up owning it. The Loganville High School senior shown in the photograph didn’t buy it.
As of Monday midmorning, “it has not sold,” Ussery-Bakhtiari told me.
Yet.
Comments
Commenting is now closed for this entry.
By AD
April 25, 2006 08:08 AM | Link to this
Rick my man, as true as you are about this topic, it’s too late. It’s sad how we think and feel we have to buy our childrens love. Then we wonder why and how they can sell their souls when they become young adults. Keep doing your thang, and hopefully you’ll get 1 parent to take note
By Tommy Woodsmall
April 25, 2006 08:11 AM | Link to this
Rick, my 21 and 24 year sons will remind me of simular memories sometimes when we are talking. The memories are consistant with what you described, a Krystal hamburger and a construction site with machines working. They never talk about something I bought for them during their childhood.
One of my sons is getting married this June and the other is graduating college in May. It’s has been a long road filled with love, bumps, mistakes and many, many victories.
I know as a parent most of us try so hard to do the right thing and then we end up doing the wrong thing. (Such as buying something very expensive that a child really doesn’t need because we are trying to express love to that child).
Sometimes you don’t even realize when your sitting in your car, eating a hambuger, watching a bulldozer work with your child. That this was a moment that you should of been paying attention too …
Funny and sad the moments my children have reminded me of throughout their childhood that I just flat out missed …
By Eric
April 25, 2006 08:26 AM | Link to this
The stupidty of parents in this country has reached gargantuan levels… $3600 prom dressed, Hummers and BMWs in high school parking lots, breast enhancements for high school graduation presents, cruises to Aruba (and look how THAT turned out).
Why do kids want that stuff? They see shows on MTV where girls are having their sweet 16 parties with outlandish spreads, paid celebrity guests, hotel banquet halls and guest lists of people to impress, not friends (if any of these spoiled princesses HAVE real friends). Why do the parents pay for it? They are trying to buy the love and affection they don’t have the time (working too much) or ability to show.
No wonder our country is turning in to a crap hole.
WAKE UP PARENTS! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TEACHING YOUR WORTHLESS, SPOILED CHILDREN!
By tela
April 25, 2006 08:27 AM | Link to this
My 11-year-old daughter loves watching MTV and the “spoiled brat” shows about birthday parties and such. I let her know flat out that I will never spend $4,000 on a birthday dress, prom dress etc. I do spend the money on great vacations because we both love the time we get to spend together. She still talks about how funny I walked after we went horseback riding on the beach in the Dominican Republic…or how much she laughed when I freaked out because the horse started going out into the ocean. We have the best vacations, not because we go to exotic locations, but because we make the best memories.
By deb
April 25, 2006 08:29 AM | Link to this
I understand about buying children things. My stepdaughter visits us every 2 weeks on the weekend. My husband thinks we have spend lots of money when she’s over. I told him she only wants to spend time. He says he is spending time but how many amusement parks, can you go to before you realize that the one on one time is what they crave.
By john
April 25, 2006 08:29 AM | Link to this
My date made her dress and it looked better than some of the store bought ones.
By singlemom
April 25, 2006 08:31 AM | Link to this
There is nothing in this world like living the simple life. I would NEVER, EVER spend that kind of money on a dress that will be worn one time. My entire wedding didn’t cost as much as that dress. My child has been taught to use her imagination as oppossed to vegging out in front of a play station, tv, computer, etc. In the summertime when tv is nothing by re-runs, I have cable disconnected and if we have the need to watch tv, we go hit Blockbuster and load up on movies. We go hiking, walking, etc and spend tons of time together. I will not use my hard earned money to purchase frivilous “mind numbing” toys for her. The time I spend with her is WAY more important than the latest must haves. Besides we are very close and I only have her for a few more years before she leaves to go to college. I want her to remember the times we have together, not the toys.
By Christine Davis
April 25, 2006 08:31 AM | Link to this
Who, in their right mind, would pay $3600 for a dress that will be worn once???
My mother made my senior prom dress… now THAT was a real labor of love.
By Kendall
April 25, 2006 08:38 AM | Link to this
What kind of precedence does this set? What does this instill in the mind of the young women as to future expectations of their wedding for instance? This is not good.
Let’s keep things in perspective. There are people in our own country who are without homes and meals. How many could be helped with $3000, still alowing $600 for a dress which would certainly buy something nicer than Dress Barn would have.
Where are the values that have in the past set America apart from wasteful ways. Please Forgive us God, for we know not what we are doing anymore.
By GFri
April 25, 2006 08:41 AM | Link to this
Rick…good morning, this is the first time I’ve read your column, so pardon me if I’m repeating something. I happen to stumble onto this show last evening “My Super Sweet 16” on MTV. Hold your thoughts about that $3600 dress, this show is ruining kids “rich kids”. One might say, “if they’re rich it really doesn’t matter”, character matters, and these kids are seriously flawed. On the show that I saw, the young lady got for her 16 B’day, a Diamond Studded - Rolex and a Convertible (Lexus…I think that’s the make).
You have to watch that show . .. LA Reid/Pebble’s Son was on the same show.
By lawrencevillemom
April 25, 2006 08:42 AM | Link to this
I couldn’t agree more…with kids at 8 years old getting cell phone, cars at 16 etc what do they have to look forward to when they get a job and work to earn something. I didn’t get my first car until after I was married and it was really exciting AND my parents didn’t pay for it. My 15 year old knows that she doesn’t even need to ask for a cell phone until she has her license and is able to drive by herself - then we will talk about it (maybe she will just take mine with her). You have to remember as you are raising your kids that it shouldn’t be about the $, you have to be teaching them responsibility, morals and values - that’s what will carry them through their adult life.
By singlemom
April 25, 2006 08:48 AM | Link to this
@lawrencevillemom - very well put. I agree, although my 15 year has a cell. We do not have a “land line” and each of us has a cell. I like it for piece of mind when she is at the mall, away from home, etc.
By me
April 25, 2006 08:50 AM | Link to this
If you love your children, hold them, listen to them, teach them, discipline them, teach them to be self sufficient and be there for them. This doesn’t cost anything and is the basis for building their lives.
By Rita
April 25, 2006 08:51 AM | Link to this
$3,600 for a prom dress? These girls and/or their mother need to learn to use a sewing machine. I can make that same dress for under $175.00. My daughters wedding dress look like it came from a high-end store and I spent about $200.00 for everything (dress, veil, flower girls basket and ringer bearer’s pillow) It is ashame that someone would even consider spending that kind of money for a “One time” dress.
By Rita
April 25, 2006 08:52 AM | Link to this
$3,600 for a prom dress? These girls and/or their mother need to learn to use a sewing machine. I can make that same dress for under $175.00. My daughters wedding dress look like it came from a high-end store and I spent about $200.00 for everything (dress, veil, flower girls basket and ringer bearer’s pillow) It is ashame that someone would even consider spending that kind of money for a “One time” dress.
By Rod
April 25, 2006 08:53 AM | Link to this
It’s sad, but I see more and more children that have been - as the old saying goes - “spoiled rotten.” I remember fondly the Bill Cosby episode when Theo wanted something and told his father “we’re rich,” to which Cosby replied “Your mother and I are rich, you are not.”
As a parent, you want to show your love and have your children enjoy things you couldn’t. However, by not pulling a limit on things, children become spoiled and think the world should just be handed to them. The television show “Sweet Sixteen” on MTV is a perfect example. They show millionaire families throwing lavish sweet sixteen parties for their daughters - these things would make small countries jealous. And when they interview the girl - and show her room and closet - you realize that these kids have no concept of reality (one girl had dozens of $400 handbags).
Buying all the lavish items - toys, clothes, etc - may seem like love now, but it’ll just lead to disappointments later in life when reality finally hits. There’s nothing that my child needs - my wife and I see to that - however, what he wants,…
By Greg
April 25, 2006 09:03 AM | Link to this
After eating out at a nice restaurant and seeing girls out for the prom with their dates dressed like..well.. Hookers or strippers, it truly amazes me that parents would let their little precious girls out looking like streetwalkers. Proms are events that will be forgotten soon after its over.
By shannon
April 25, 2006 09:05 AM | Link to this
$3,600!?!?!?! That’s more than my wedding dress cost. Heck, my wedding didn’t cost much more than that, and I had a nice wedding. I just don’t see the reason for this outrageousness!
By Michael Colford
April 25, 2006 09:05 AM | Link to this
I once had a college professor who said, “The more you know something, the less conscious you are of knowing it.” Your column provides a fitting narrative barometer of how the privilege of plenty, spawned in these United States has mutated into a culture of chronic need and entitlement. The age-old ideal of having more than your parents did, has been demolished, because now, in and endless stream of wants, one can never have enough. This mainstay culture of consumerism has all been deftly driven by well-oiled marketing machine that’s heated up over the years. The success of their prevelance in our culture is evident now their mantras are reflected back at us by each other — when we commonly accept walking billboards as high-fashion clothes that are rightfully expensive, you know they have us right where they want us.
Rick, the fact that above it all, your son holds on to that time you and he had lunch in the car shows how the real creases in our brain are formed, and where the real value in life’s moments are to be found. We can’t expect children to know those things and seek them, especially with so many shiny objects dangling around in front of them everywhere they look. But they do feel those emotions, and value those experiences when they are exposed to them. So as you so rightly have suggested here, don’t use your resources to farm out the responsibilities of turning your child into the person they should be by keeping them consistently “entertained.”
It’s a parent’s challenge to show their children where the value of life’s moments truly lie.
By Theeny
April 25, 2006 09:06 AM | Link to this
If you are a celebrity or a celebrity’s daughter, then a $3600 dress might not be a big deal. Or if you parents are at the helm of a Fortune 500 company, this might be your “normal.” But for parents putting a $3600 on the credit card and then struggling to pay it off, then this is ridiculous. If a $3600 prom dress is living within your means, then knock yourself out.
By daffy
April 25, 2006 09:07 AM | Link to this
My parents are a blue collar factory maintenance worker and a bank head teller. Needless to say, my brother and I didn’t wear some of the designer clothes our friends did, which caused the occassional problem where my brother was concerned.
Meanwhile, my wife’s parents were accountants, meaning they made sure she knew the value of a dime, even though they could have given her what ever she wanted.
We have already decided when we have kids, they are not going to get $200 purses and such that we know some acquaintances give their children, just because we might be able to afford them. They too will know the value of doing with and without.
Kudos to you parents who have decided that whether you take your children on an extremely nice vacation or buy the $150 prom dress that they find the experience memorable, because in the end that is what they will remember most, not the money spent.
By Rod
April 25, 2006 09:09 AM | Link to this
Even if the $3,600 is “within your means,” people should take some responsibility for not just throwing money at their children in an attempt to substitute love.
As a previous poster said, that parent would be better off buying a $600 dress and donating $3,000 to charity - think how many meals or clothing items that could buy. People want to waste money just because they can, instead of helping others. We have become a very selfish, me-first society.
By Angie
April 25, 2006 09:10 AM | Link to this
I think that everyone is slamming parents that feel that they are just making their children happy. I grew up in a home and we didn’t have a lot of money and you know what I remember, not having what the other kids had and always wishing that I could have some of the “nice” things. I don’t think that anyone should have to apologize for doing what they want with the money that they earn. $3600 is relative to the amount of money you have (earn). To some folks $500 is a lot and they might think that price is ridiculous. I would give my daughter the world if I could, she desires it. I think that other people are too concerned and sometimes jealous of other people that they start to judge them. I feel that if it is your money, you can do what ever you want to do with you, you know why, you went out and earned it. If you want to buy your kids whatever they want, it is up to you. Teaching kids to have good judgement and the value of money does not come by saying no all the time. Some people used to have a problem with kids having cell phone until the shootings at Columbine after that everyone went out and purchased their kids cell phones. It is amazing how the story changes when you are given a different set of circumstances. My best friends parents had a lot of money and when she was 16 years old her Dad bought her a convertible BMW. You know what she is one of the most financially responsible friends that I have. She is that way, because her parents spent time teaching her the value of money and how to save and invest. So I say to everyone, just mind your own money business and leave everyone elses pockets alone.
By CL
April 25, 2006 09:12 AM | Link to this
GFri - you hit it right on the nose. I also saw the MTV show “Sweet 16”. First i was appaled at the fact that they had to censor almost every other word this soon-to-be-16-year-old had to say, but when she began screaming at her mother about changing the centerpieces for the party tables with out asking her, I was shocked. She immediately called her father on her cell phone and began bawling to daddy. When the mother said that changing the centerpieces would save them over $3000 (YES THREE THOUSAND)in party costs the girl screamed over the phone that her mother would owe her the $3000 saved. Wow! But kids are not all like that. Last year my son wanted the latest Star Wars light saber. When I told him no, we didn’t have the $45 to blow on a toy that day, he went home pulled out his paints and made his own light saber from a mop handle. It made me sad and proud at the same time. A few months later when money wasn’t as tight I offered to buy him the Light Saber he had been looking at and he said, “no thanks, I already got one” Kids, go figure.
By Janet
April 25, 2006 09:12 AM | Link to this
Most of these bloggers seem to have the right idea, so there is hope…I am probably one of the few who can say, I did not purchase any TV games for my girls. They had dolls, bikes, roller blades and tennis racquets and while roller blades might have been a fad at the time at least they got them outside in the fresh air and exercising…My one daughter did not go to senior prom, she did not want to… my younger daughter did, her dress was a little over $200 which I thought was a lot of money for a one time wear…. She wanted a dress that cost $600, and I said no way, she does not love me any less for saying no, and quite frankly the $200 dress was much nicer anyway, she even agreed. Looking at the pictures a year later she now says I like to shop with you mom as you always seem to find great deals…Money does not buy you taste, or sense! It will buy you a spoiled child with an attitude and no appreciation for a hard earned dollar! My thought is let them earn the money for a few months doing a chore they don’t particularly like and see how quickly they throw it all away on one dress! My bet is they won’t!! But when it is handed to them on a silver platter, over and over again they would be stupid not to take it!! So yes it really is the parents that teach children how to be wasteful and self indulgent! And remeber, you reap what you sew, so in 10 or 15 years time you will probably still be bailing them out of financial disasters as they will still have the mentality that they can have anything they want even if they actually do not have the means to pay for it! You often hear about 20 year olds deep in debt with credit cards owing $20 or $30 thousand dollars and not knowing how they will pay it off, and I am sure if you look further you will see an indulgent parent in the background who never said no while they were raising the child.
By MissQC
April 25, 2006 09:20 AM | Link to this
$3,600.00 is too much for a prom dress
By the time my sister graduated from high school in 2004 she had 6 gowns in which her prom dress was a little over $300.00 so now i have all of her dresses and reminding my co-workers when their daughters have an upcoming prom do not go out and buy a dress, just come see me and let her daughter pick out a dress she wants to wear.
By Tracy
April 25, 2006 09:21 AM | Link to this
Several years ago (2003) I balked at spending about $1000 total for my two oldest kids to attend the prom. This year my 11th grade twins opted out. My son had been working to save for a pair of shoes he wanted, decided that he would fork out the money for a season pass to Six Flags to join his girlfriend after the prom. His girlfirend attended prom with her brother. My daughter invited friends over for an un-prom party. The took it back to just a good ol’ fun get together.
For next year we have agreed to start shopping the sales for prom attire. The challenge is to spend $500 or less. My oldest daughter, now in college, did just that for a formal function she and her housemates attended. They challenged each other to see who could spend the least amount for the entire outfit. She did not win, but for dress and shoes she spent $100. Now that’s what I think is a valuable lesson in fiscal responsibility.
By Renee
April 25, 2006 09:21 AM | Link to this
Angie, you’re exactly the type of person that should read more closely this column and take the advice. You advocate spending anything on your kids and it’s nobody else’s damn business. No where in your comments did you mention spending time with your daughter or experiencing things - just spending money on her.
Spend time with her now - and stop just throwing money at her - or you’ll regret it for the next 30 years when you see how self-absorbed she is and has no fond memories of spending time with you.
It is our business - when you release that self-absorbed spoiled brat out into the world.
By Tracy
April 25, 2006 09:21 AM | Link to this
Several years ago (2003) I balked at spending about $1000 total for my two oldest kids to attend the prom. This year my 11th grade twins opted out. My son had been working to save for a pair of shoes he wanted, decided that he would fork out the money for a season pass to Six Flags to join his girlfriend after the prom. His girlfirend attended prom with her brother. My daughter invited friends over for an un-prom party. The took it back to just a good ol’ fun get together.
For next year we have agreed to start shopping the sales for prom attire. The challenge is to spend $500 or less. My oldest daughter, now in college, did just that for a formal function she and her housemates attended. They challenged each other to see who could spend the least amount for the entire outfit. She did not win, but for dress and shoes she spent $100. Now that’s what I think is a valuable lesson in fiscal responsibility.
By RWH
April 25, 2006 09:23 AM | Link to this
There are a great many opinions…concerning the purchas of a 3K Prom-Garment. To many of us; its like a once-in-a-lifetime occasion for our daughters and we also want our Sons to look just as gentlemenly as he can. I am deeply impressed at how we as parents look into this direction to show love with materialist items. An occasion prom-atire would be just as great. No one person will win the best dress contest for one evening..and never wear that attire again! Accustom to purchasing 3-4K items, great! Can’t afford a 3-4K items still great! Looks…the word that has many in an uproar of buying high-class items, along with the 3K prom dress comes the shoes and other accessories. Affordable to some, while a great many can’t! What do we do. Make the best of the evening and appreciate what ourparents purchase for us to wear and remember our prom-night with our friends and those we shared the last three years with! Use the 3K for College or help toward going to college….you can’t lose this way!
By Frustrated mom
April 25, 2006 09:27 AM | Link to this
Although I agree that we can’t buy our chilgren’s love, a $3600 prom dress is not about love. It’s about keeping up with or showing up “the Joneses.” “Katie’s” mom buys her daughter this dress so she can tell “Jessica’s” mom how much she spent on her daughter’s dress. Katie wants this dress so she tell Jessica about how much her dress cost. I recently moved back to the Atlanta area after having been away for 20 years. I am constantly overwhelmed by how much money there is in this town and what it is being spent on. My 10 year-old just yesterday went into hysterics because I told her she could not buy an IPOD nanno. The reason she wants one is “all her classmates have IPOD’s and cell phones” and she feels like a “flunkie” because she doesn’t. It is difficult to teach your children to “store up their treasures in Heaven” when “having stuff” is so highly valued. I love this town but I wish everyone here could move to a blue-color working town for 3 years so they could get a glimpse of real people and real life on a daily basis.
By Kristin
April 25, 2006 09:33 AM | Link to this
I just hope the parents who feel justified in spending $3500 for a prom dress at least have tuition set aside for college.
By CDJackson
April 25, 2006 09:34 AM | Link to this
A $3,600 dress is NOT appropriate for a prom. People spend that amount of money on an extravagant WEDDING dress, which is more meaningful and understandable for an event such as that. My daughter can rest assure that if we spend $3,600 it would be for tuition, books, room & board, etc.
By Eric
April 25, 2006 09:37 AM | Link to this
Most of those yound women (it is a joke to even call them that) needed to be put over Mommy or Daddy’s knee LONG ago… and had the ‘spoiled’ spanked out of them.
By CW
April 25, 2006 09:37 AM | Link to this
Good article Rick! The greatest memories I have are my dad and I just playing baseball and golf in the backyard, and just playing a simple game of HORSE. I also fondly recall a day he and went and parked next to a little airport called McCollum in Kennesaw and watching the small planes take off and land. I smile every time I pass by the airport to this day!
I will not lie, I was somewhat spoiled as the youngest of three kids, “The Baby”, yet when I think back to my childhood, it is the simple things that stick out in my mind!
These are lessons that I will remember as I grow as a parent. It is the little things that show your love for your kids! Spend time with them now, as they will be grown before you know!
By kim
April 25, 2006 09:38 AM | Link to this
OK, I’m a working Mom and didn’t have time to sew a dress. However, my daughter and her friend went to Value City on Cobb Parkway and each spent $39.00 for a dress. They looked like a million bucks! Next spring I will take these dresses to a consignment store and get about $25.00 back. I think that $14.00 for something that you wear once or twice is about right.
By K. Watkins
April 25, 2006 09:40 AM | Link to this
My father fussed back in 1986 when he paid $190 for the dress I wore to two proms, neither my own. Since it was white, he told me, “I was going to get married in that dress”. He has since passed on, I’m single, the same size, and I’ve still got that dress. I’m gonna make good on that order!
By MOT
April 25, 2006 09:43 AM | Link to this
Angie makes many good points. IF you can afford it financially and every other way, like her friend who got the BMW, but was very financially responsible, those parents could afford it because they had the money and because they had taught their daughter well. We shouldn’t judge others if they can do that.
However, those parents who give with out the time investment and lessons and teaching of character, truly do handicap and cripple their children. It is sad to see adults who can’t function in life because they were given just about everything in the world, but what they really needed. Parents if you want to see how you are affecting your children by spending and giving them all without taking time to teach accompanying principles and habits that will help them succeed in life on all fronts, just look at those adult “children” on the Dr. Phil shows, the 30, 40 year old free-loaders who live with their parents because they won’t/can’t keep a job and support themselves. Sure it is fun, and fills a parent full of pride and makes them feel like they are giving love and receiving love at the moment something is given, but buddy, look beyond the sweet years of being 8, 13, 16, 20. It ain’t so fun when the 40 year old sleeps all day eats all your food, leaves laundry and other little chores all over for you to tend to (because you love them right? and will do ANYTHING for them?). Like I said it totally creates handicapped, crippled adults. And just how loving is that?????
Of course all of us here are probably preaching to the choir. Those with the problem and propensity to spoil good children are off at the Malls, or too busy on the shopping websites, or ordering off of the shopping channels finding the latest, best outfit, toy, car, etc. for Jr.
By Jennifer
April 25, 2006 09:43 AM | Link to this
How things have changed. My prom was in 1990 and I bought a dress for $125 and that was expensive for me.
I’m wondering what the parents who are spending $3500 are saying to their kids? What message does it send? Just how appreciative are the kids (really) who get stuff like this without working for it? I might not be so harsh if the kids were actually helping pay for it by working a job. Parents hand things over to kids way too easily and that’s part of the reason why the kids who are graduating college can’t grasp the realities of the world- because they have helicopter parents who are waiting with a safety net.
The sad thing is these kids get out into the work force and can’t hold their own in an office setting because they don’t know how.
Let me assure you that I will not be spending this much on my own kid’s prom clothes. 1) I don’t have that kind of money 2) Even if I did it would be a hearty, “Hell no! That’s stupid!”
By me
April 25, 2006 09:44 AM | Link to this
Growing up my parents didn’t have money for a lot of things. But we went on lots of picnics, to the lake, visiting, and playing. I think I have a lot better imagination because I wasn’t showered with toys and materials things. I have a lot of fond memories of my youth.
I never put pressure on my parents. I never even asked for a school year book. Don’t miss them.
By Sassy
April 25, 2006 09:46 AM | Link to this
I agree that we as parents tend to give our children all the things they ask for and say it’s because we love them BUT as a parent, our financial jobs really do not include $3600 prom gowns or Playstations. Our job obviously is to provide the basic necessities. Although I buy a lot for my children, I tell them that everything over and above the basics of housing, clothing,shoes and food are extras and I am not required as a parent to purchase these things. In fact, my oldest daughter will be wearing the gown she wore in my sister’s wedding this summer to prom so for once, someone has gotten to wear a bridemaid’s gown more than once LOL. As for the Playstation 2, my childen keep asking but they do not receive.
By Natasha
April 25, 2006 09:46 AM | Link to this
I can not believe that someone would spend that much on a prom dress. That is ridiculous. I don’t think that it shows love, it stupidity.
By Natasha
April 25, 2006 09:47 AM | Link to this
I don’t think that it shows love, it shows stupidity.
By Steve
April 25, 2006 09:47 AM | Link to this
Rick:
Amen, amen and AMEN!!
Preach on, Brother!!
The misplaced priorities carried by some people just makes me want to move into a cave and wait for the Apocalypse. No way in hell would I spend the kind of money that vicaeious mothers and terminally-vain daughters gleefully plop down on prom gowns and accessories.
I’ve seen friemds of mine lose their sanity completely and pay enormous sums for limos, hotel rooms, jewelry, you name it, for their kid’s prom night.
And Angie, I’m not “jealous” of some parent blowing wads of cash on their kids. I simply recognoze materialistic orgies for what they are.
Back in my childhood, the Beatles sang “Can’t Buy Me Love”. Play that song again, Angie. This time, listen to the words.
By TAP
April 25, 2006 09:48 AM | Link to this
The lady who volunteered to spend $3500 on a prom dress certainly loves her daughter because she taught her values- the daughter ended up with a “just as good” $300 dress. The mom was just overcome by the fact that her daughter was leaving home soon and wanted to do SOMETHING to let her know that she was loved strongly. If they had the money, why not? When the girl is alone at college and is making decisions, maybe she’ll remember the offer and factor her mother’s love into her decisions. If $3500 is a major burden for the family this would have been too much, but I assume it wasn’t.
By Teacher
April 25, 2006 09:51 AM | Link to this
Singlemom, thats the other problem with kids today. I go to the mall with friends or on a date and I see 11, 12, 13 even 15 year old kids “hanging out” at the mall by themselves. My parents would have laughed in my face if I would have asked to go “hang out” at the mall by myself. I’ve been in education for 6 years now… mom and dads, its time to wake up and smell the coffee. Stop letting your kids run the house. Step up and be the parents, not there friends!!!!
By Dave
April 25, 2006 09:54 AM | Link to this
The answer is definitly no. We already have way too many children whose parents over indulge them. The parents try to buy their love with materialism. But they are raising self absorbed childred who want everything.
By Swangirl
April 25, 2006 09:57 AM | Link to this
Rick, that story about taking your son to the construction sites is priceless. My brother-in-law took my nieces out to the airport when they were little to watch the planes land and take off. They loved it.
My parents did not make a lot of money. But they did manage to provide some wonderful times at the beach when I was a chld. We usually stayed at an inexpensive hotel.
My father died in 2003. But I can still remember going to the beach when I was 10 and spending the entire day out in the water with Dad. I held onto his shoulders as we jumped the waves together, time after time.
I’ll take those memories over a $3,600 prom dress any day.
By jnc from indy
April 25, 2006 09:59 AM | Link to this
It actually shows how stupid, idiotic and ignorant both parent and kid really are. Whether you have the means to spend that type of money or not, save for a college fund please!
By Dee
April 25, 2006 10:06 AM | Link to this
Angie, you are right! So are SOME of the other parents. Teach your children balance. I personally would not have spent that much on a Prom dress, but this is a different time. Children should know their budget prior to going prom shopping. They should also start early with buying and if they are old enough they should earn money towards it. My sister and I are 17 years apart. When I went to senior prom my dress cost $25. At the time there were 3 other children at home. This year my sister’s senior prom dress cost right at $500. Only child left in the house. Their means was able to stretch a little further this time. It does not matter how much is given to a child, it matters that the parent does not place an emphasis on things. If the child is taught to appreciate, then they will.
When I was pregnant with my oldest child 11 years ago, I witnessed the greastest lesson that I ever could on the verge of becoming a new mother. I saw a little girl that wanted candy in Wal-Mart and her father said No. She asked and asked and again he kept saying No. She fell out in the floor and kicked and screamed and he bought that candy to keep from being embarassed. Moral, I learned that I will never be forced by a child to do something that I said no about in the first place. I also learned that if my child threw a tantrum the first time and I didn’t give in then she would know that acting out would never work. Good luck parent’s there’s no handbook on what to do. Hard work makes one appreciate things more.
By L2theP
April 25, 2006 10:07 AM | Link to this
And we wonder why there is homelessness in America! Priorities are all screwed up!!! They will ultimately pay an even higher price than that…It’s a shame!
By RSC
April 25, 2006 10:11 AM | Link to this
From the time my daughter was in 8th grade, her friend’s parents were spending $200 and up for homecoming dresses and renting limos …. for 8th graders!! I tried getting some parents to band together and stop the madness, but alas, I was left to stand firm alone and on my own.
This year, my daughter wore a borrowed dress to homecoming and we bought her prom dress at a local thrift shop for $18 (that someone had probably paid $500-600 for last year). We did her hair and nails at home. We spent less than $50 and she looked like a million bucks!! While taking pre-prom pictures, parents raved about how beautiful my daughter looked, all the while lamenting (read bragging) about spending $500 for dresses and $100 for shoes. I just smiled and said “They are worth it.”
Now, with the money that I did not spend on homecoming and prom, I’m taking my daughter to NYC to see a Broadway show when school is out. Hopefully, that memory will be better than any $500 dress would have been.
By Richard
April 25, 2006 10:13 AM | Link to this
Even if you have money coming out your butt - don’t just throw it away by overspending on trivial items - if it’s really burning a hole in your pocket, help out a charity and help underprivledged people.
Statistically speaking, most people who blow money like that give very little to help others.
By MB
April 25, 2006 10:16 AM | Link to this
Unlike many of the people who commented on this artical I don’t have children. I was raised by a single parent and I am an only child. Most of the time when I tell people I am an only child they automatically say I must be spoiled. My reply to that statement is, “My mom didn’t play that game.” Virtually everything I ever got, I worked for when it came to gifts from my mom. Of course there were times when she gave me things “just because” but I knew the value of a dollar and I understood the importance of working for the things that you want. My mom was outstanding in every way and because of the lessons she taught me to this day I am a great bargain shopper. I feel its ok to have brand name clothes, shoes and toys etc. However I dont feel its necessary to pay an arm and a leg for the things you desire. My personal motto when shopping is, “Get a lot for as little money as possible (lol).” Through watching my mom when I was little I learned to only shop on holidays because everything is on sale and to always have a budget. If you think about it there is practically a holiday every month so its not like you have to wait a long time to buy something. As I became older and with the help of the internet I have learned to clip coupons and use the net to find out about additional savings and specials. As an adult my mom and I still shop together and we are both always so elated when we find good deals. Its fun, we spend time together and we are not breaking our budgets. I am thankful for this lesson and many others that my mom has taught me. Spending big is not nearly as great as saving big.
By scribe
April 25, 2006 10:17 AM | Link to this
PARENTS WHO SPEND THAT MUCH MONEY ON A DRESS ARE REALLY, REALLY STUPID. BUT AS THE SAYING GOES, YOU CAN’T LEGISLATE AGAINST STUPIDITY….
By angie
April 25, 2006 10:22 AM | Link to this
Renee: I didn’t have time to share in the details of my time with my daughter in this column. But since you have judged me wrongly I will let you know that my daughter gets all the love and attention that she could ever dream of. We go to the park and playground. She participates in extracurricular activities. We go outside and blow bubbles and guess what we spend time painting and coloring. We talk walks in the neighborhood and she rides her tricyle. I read to my daughter and we spend time playing in her playroom with all of the toys. We do a lot of other things that I don’t have time filling you in on the other details since you seem to know how I treat my daughter. I do spend time with my daughter and I don’t throw money at her. You are just the person that my first comment was directed towards a person that needs to mind their own business and stop judging other people.
I don’t need to read between the lines of what is written her. I have a well rounded child and that is all that matters. And guess what I can and will continue to do whatever I want with my money.
By Jesse's Girl
April 25, 2006 10:23 AM | Link to this
I think Whitney Houston said it best……and quite frequently I find myself paying homage to her appropriate quip. “HE11 TO THE NO”!!!!!
By Anne
April 25, 2006 10:25 AM | Link to this
Last year my daughter found a dress at Hot Topic. It was plastic with red trim. It had been marked down for $15. She wanted it to wear to Prom to show off her own style. She wore and just love it becuase of its funky nature and got lots of compliments including the title “Unique Dress”. The year before I bought a dress for $225, it took searching throught 9 department stores, four malls, the end result was she hated it becuase it “just wasn’t her.” Parents, listen to the kids. Spending money on them to show how much you love them is one thing, let them be themselves and loving them is another.
By gene
April 25, 2006 10:28 AM | Link to this
it is all in the values you teach the children. my daughter ,at 21, won a preliminary to compete in the 2000 miss georgia pageant. it was the second pageant she had ever cpmpeted in, the first was when she was four. she had bought her dress for the preliminary for 125.00. i told her since this was a once in a lifetime opportunity i would get her the dress of her dreams. she said no, just to compete was a surprise, so she competed with the 125.00 dollar dress, and 45 dollar swimsuit at the miss georgia pageant. she also did as her talent , drawing. something completely different , and quite possibly the only contestant to ever do that. when i saw her on stage that night, i was so incredibly proud. i knew then she would always have her priorties straight in life.
By singlemom
April 25, 2006 10:29 AM | Link to this
Oh @MB I love your comments. I am a single parent too, raising a daughter. I do not get one single dime from her father, never have. I am glad to read your post, as I was going to post something very similar. My daughter knows the value of money, after seeing me struggle for years. I would be very comfortable with her going to the grocery store and purchasing our groceries for the week. We plan our weekly menus and shop with a list. She studies price tags, and sees which is the best buy/better value. My own mother was so impressed with her after a recent trip to the mall. When we go clothes shopping, she shops the sale and clearance racks. She will be getting her first job this summer, and knows that 1/2 of her paycheck will go into her savings account. That is more important to her than a $3600 prom dress. As a matter of fact, a couple of years ago, we were getting ready to go on a fairly expensive summer trip, and she had the chance to go to the 8th grade formal dance. She chose not to go to the dance, not to spend a bunch of money for one night, so we could use the money for our vacation, which she said she would remember more than the dance. PRICELESS.
By kids4
April 25, 2006 10:30 AM | Link to this
I don’t think that it’s the amount that’s the problem here. Although it is an extreme amount, my philosophy is to try to teach the value of it. If you would like your child to afford nice things when they grow up, teach them how to earn it; through hard work, education, whatever it takes. I’ve seen too many kids that skip out on the hardwork and wind up depressed because they can’t afford things their friends have. Adults do this too. Why do you think there’s so much credit debt? Affording nice things is success, raising children who can’t provide for themselves is failure.
By Rachel
April 25, 2006 10:41 AM | Link to this
Well, Angie, you sound like a very self-absorbed “to hell with the world” kind of person. I know you’ll be happy when your daughter grows up just like you.
By Mel S.
April 25, 2006 10:44 AM | Link to this
When it came to my Senior Prom, I was working at the time part time in a Pharmacy. I worked long weekends in order to pay for my own dress and I even rented the tux, bought the tickets, drove, paid for dinner and the after party, just so that I knew I would have a good time. My date stood me up anyway, and my best friend went with me and we had more fun than anything. My car, wasnt handed to me. Although my dads old company car, I still had to pay for the insurance. My parents never handed us anything growing up because they didnt have the means to for one, and they were raised by the old “Spare the rod” philosophy. I look back at it now and really appreciate everything they made us work for. Now that I am going to be a mom, I only hope my child will understand that they dont have to have all of the luxeries in life. How many times do we buy our kids a toy, only to see they have more fun with the box??
While Prom is a special day in a kids life, its not as big as your wedding day, or the day you give birth to your first child. My whole wedding didnt even cost $3000 and it was very special. A dress, you wear once. To spend a lot of money on a dress you will either re-sell or hang in your closet forever is stupid. But, its unfortunate parents will go that far. It goes along with yesterdays conversation of raising the driving age. If parents lead by example, that is what makes the difference. I can understand $3500 for a Wedding dress more than I could a Prom dress.
By me
April 25, 2006 10:45 AM | Link to this
Single mom, I think you have the perfect child. Sounds like she is grounded in love.
By time for the truth
April 25, 2006 10:51 AM | Link to this
The moronic indulging of bratty thankless kids by (mostly) middle class parents is a curse on society. These brats have little or no concept of what something actually costs. They then demand/expect something equal or better each time they hold their expectant snouts over the family trough.
But worst of all is the truly spoiled, self absorbed attitude that such brainless parental indulgence inevitably engenders. I’ve lost count of the snotty, know it all ignorant college age kids I’ve encountered out there. Seemingly this is a fundamental life pattern that is invariably passed down the “genetic tree”.
The true morons who wilfully buy their wittle (sic)immature kiddies shiny new powerful cars at age sixteen are inflicting their laziness and self indulgence on the rest of us. The chilling stats about these spoiled brats who die and sadly often kill other kids and other road users in stupid car accidents dont lie. But the selfish/lazy/uninvolved parents who wont drive their kids anywhere or those who give in to petulant sullen emotional blackmail or whatever as their precious little prince/princess demands a car simply to be cool, be popular, get off the school bus etc may deeply regret their shortsighted decision.
Do these affluent ‘deadbeat’ parents really know where their upwardly mobile kids are every time they leave the house - and exactly what they are doing? No drugs, no alcohol, no sex, no anti-social behaviour, no ‘unapproved’ partying etc.
Kids who are brought up understanding the value of things, and are not spoiled rotten invariably make much better balanced, pleasant adults.
Money spent doesn’t EVER equate to how much you love your kids. Your time and your meaningful involvement with them is infinitely more precious, as several posters have astutely observed.
At least the rest of us are able to have some fun handing back the snottiness meted out by the little college age princes and princesses. And in my experience its usually the princesses who are far worse.
By Miles W. Rich
April 25, 2006 10:54 AM | Link to this
This type of excessive spending is outrageous, but doesn’t surprise me. It is like buying a teenager a new expensive car to drive, or for that matter a new car, period. I live in a gated community where parents lavish their children with these type of gifts, and then wonder why “when things go wrong,” i.e. like the boy who was killed in a car accident in front of the church at Old Alabama and Old Alabama Connector a few years ago, and where there was a home made memorial for some time in this child’s memory. Too much, too soon. While the boy’s death was tragic, the parents should only blame themselves. And rather than weep over their son’s death, they should thank God or their lucky stars or just fate that the other three children in the vehicle were not seriously hurt, because if those children had been killed, the parents could have said “bye bye” to their lavish way of life. That is of course unless “tort reform” had limited the real victims right to sue. All of this is really outrageous, and of course, most of all of these people engaging in all this conspicuous consumption are nouveau riche Republicans who think of themselves as our spokesperson for family values; however they do not realize that greed, and avarice are still sins. They never think of that Commandment about not coveting they neighbor’s wife, or they neighbor’s wealth. Common sense has gone out the window. I am sure that a decent prom dress probably costs $300.00 or so now based on the high price of specialty clothing, (or do they make these items with child labor in Bangledesh, or the American Trust Territories of Ponape and Truk, too?) It’s all the same thing. Today, Linda Schrenko, a Republican icon of just a few years ago, goes on trial for using school funds to pay for her facelift, and other assorted fraudulant transactions. Where is Sonny Perdue speaking out against her? This is George Bush’s 21st Century. Isn’t it just great?
By Lori
April 25, 2006 10:58 AM | Link to this
Rick, you are absolutely right but I don’t know if your column will do much good. Parents these days use their kids as trophies to brag about how successful they are. “If you want to know how much money I have, just look at my kid’s clothes, car, etc…” It’s a real shame because these parents have no idea the horrible lessons they are teaching their children— to value materialism and labels and to look down on others who don’t have such finery. My oldest child is in first grade and one of her friends in her class has an ipod, a cellphone, a big screen tv, a gameboy and a king sized bed in her room. I am loathe to let my child go over to her house and play because my child then feels like a pauper when she comes home. But I try to teach her that she is too little for those things and that she will never have a tv in her room as long as she lives under my roof. I discuss these things with her, but I tell you, I never thought I would have to have this talk with a child so very young.
By youthworker
April 25, 2006 11:02 AM | Link to this
I’ve read several comments about ‘spend a smaller amount, donate the rest to charity…That’s a great idea, but how about something fun, for your girls, and for charity too…Why not let your teenage daughter host a fashion show sleepover for her favorite charity! You could have her and her friends collect used prom dresses, charge something like $25 per girl, and they work together in teams to dress a contestant! They all have fun being girls, you reuse prom dresses, and all the money (plus any salvagable dresses) can be donated to her favorite charity. You could even invite the mothers too—let them dress up!! Bond with your girls!!
Plus you’re teaching your children that they can have fun while keeping their priorites on others, not themselves. Trust me, we did something similar to this at our church, and these girls probably had more fun doing this then the stuffy restaurant/prom scene!
By Debbie
April 25, 2006 11:05 AM | Link to this
Looks like Angie is the classic example of a “mom gone wild” spending whatever “she wants” on her child in an attempt to buy love.
Angie, you need to stop trying to buy your child’s love and start showing it. And, it is other people’s business when you turn out just another spoiled brat that the rest of us have to deal with. You need to read all of these posts and try to learn: your child deserves at least that much from you.
By Janet_G
April 25, 2006 11:05 AM | Link to this
Too many people miss the point of being a parent. Yes, it’s important to love your kids and have a good relationship with them, but your number one job as a parent is to teach your children about life, not to be their friend. Too many parents give in to their children or simply overwhelm them with material things to feel better about themselves as parents. Of course a child is going to like you when you buy him things, but that’s a temporary condition and it just sets you up for an even bigger purchase down the road in order for your child to continue to “like” you.
No parent feels good about saying no to their child and no child feels good about that parent at that moment either. The choice is whether or not you can set aside the “feel good” that you get from buying things for your child, so that you do your job as a parent. Too many parents are so busy trying to give their children more than they had as a child, that they forget to give them the things that they DID get from their parents. Things like showing their child how to use their imagination, how to make their own toys and make up new games, how to catch a firefly in a mason jar or a fish using a cane pole, how to “drink” the juice out of a piece of honeysuckle or identify the stars in a night sky. Those are the things that this generation will be denied of ever having and they are so much more valuable than Ipods, cell phones, Xboxs and designer clothers.
By singlemom
April 25, 2006 11:08 AM | Link to this
@me - thanks I appreciate those words. I am trying the best I can and it really is hard when you look around at what others have. But then again, I have more than alot of people too. My parents never GAVE anything to us, other than the drive to work for what we want and EARN it through hard work. Neither my brother or I have fancy homes, fancy cars, but we have what suits us, and what we can afford. Also, neither of us have credit cards and purchase nothing on credit, other than our homes. We pay cash, save for what we want, or we don’t buy. I drive an 8 year old car that was paid for with cash. I sleep real good at night, knowing no one can come and take anything from me. I hope I have passed these values on to my child, and I think I have.
By Rod
April 25, 2006 11:10 AM | Link to this
Youthworker, sounds good. If you can bond with your child, help out others and have a good time - does it get any better than this? And, it doesn’t take a ton of money.
By Goldfish
April 25, 2006 11:10 AM | Link to this
In an attempt to set a precedence for my beautiful daughter the senior, we have never spent more than $200 on a gown and she has attended every formal all four years of high school. There is no reason for me to lead my child into believing there is a never ending line of cash/credit in life.
Many friends “rent” her old gowns and mine for a nominal fee. We also have shoes and bags to go with. Works out great for everyone!
By Lola
April 25, 2006 11:10 AM | Link to this
I’m in total shock about the price of that prom dress! My wedding dress (3.5 years ago) cost me $400 and it was gorgeous. And it’s safe to say, that $3600 prom dress will probably be worn the same amount of times as my $400 wedding dress. ONCE. I think parents should set a budget of $250 for a prom dress, and anything over that is up to the child to purchase with money they’ve worked to earn. I paid for my own wedding, which is WHY i got an inexpensive yet elegant dress. It makes it a lot harder to spend the money when it’s coming out of your own pocket, and it would make these girls think twice about a dress like that if they had to pay for it themselves.
By Nancy
April 25, 2006 11:13 AM | Link to this
Shame on the parents who would even CONSIDER buying their child a $3,600 prom dress. The mere thought is obnoxious.
By Lori
April 25, 2006 11:14 AM | Link to this
Angie, you are right about one thing: if people earn their money they can do with it want they want as long as they obey the laws. We are not talking about whether or not this is peoples’ right, we are talking about whether it is the correct thing to do and we have every right to discuss that. I disagree with you that it is all relative. If a parent lavishes their child with things just because they can afford to, that does not mean it is okay. I am so glad that your friend who was spoiled as a girl grew up to be responsible, but she is the exception. I am sorry you feel so scarred by not having what the other kids had when you were little, but that is just how you are making other kids feel when you lavish riches on your child. I teach my child that there are going to be lots of things in her life that are popular that others have that she will not be able to have. This is a fact of life. I am 37 and my husband and I do well in life but I still see things everyday that I think are nice that others have that I will never be able to afford. But I have matured and I can put things into perspective. I have learned the difference between what I need and what I want and child who is “given the world” will have a very hard time learning that lesson.
By niki morrison
April 25, 2006 11:17 AM | Link to this
Where as $3600 may seem quite the exorbitant amount for a one-time-only dress, many parents have struggled through several years of multiple jobs while ateending school and then working 16-17 years to provide their children with luxuries and oppurtunities of only their wildest dreams and deepest wishes. Middle-class parents often by their children $100+ shoes.
Many single mothers of a lower earning bracket could not bear such an expense. I see no outcry for middle class parents for her… nor do I expect or feel she deserves it.
However, when someone sacrifices their on youth to provide for their future children, and eventual teenagers… I am happy for and proud of parents who have managed their finances and effectively provided luxuries for their children. Hopefully, their children will aspire to do better in their own lives as to maintain the lifestyle and luxuries just as their hardworking parents have provided them. Then do the same for their future children. In conclusion, if the mortgage and bills are paid, the family is well-fed and their is gas in the vehichles (okay, maybe that is asking too much right now…) what is so wrong with spending $3600 on a prom dress? Too sound almost a bit too cliche but in total agreement “If you got it, flaunt it.” Your parents worked hard for it,
By Andrew McCaskill
April 25, 2006 11:18 AM | Link to this
Purchasing a $3,600 prom dress shows that you have more money than sense!
By Lisa
April 25, 2006 11:18 AM | Link to this
This is one of the reasons America is going to hell in a handbag! The children today have no values, no understanding that things must be worked for to obtain. They are handed everything because mom and dad both work and it is easier to just hand the money out.
We have 3 children that we have taught that just because you can afford it doesn’t mean it is right to buy. That there are better uses of money besides buying ‘stuff’ that loses value.
Parents make excuses for the excesses and claim that their children do understand the value of things. But, by their attitudes and lack of appreciation you see their true colors. They are spoiled, weak, and selfish. We are raising a nation of useless adults that expect immediate gratification.
By Sriraj
April 25, 2006 11:21 AM | Link to this
Rick,
If I had $3,000 to burn for my daughter, I’d invest that in a Roth IRA. What a perfect gift for a child leaving school and entering college!
Thanks for talking common sense, as always!
By Renee Atlarge
April 25, 2006 11:21 AM | Link to this
I disagree about $3600 prom dress being relative to what you earn. There’s a mental illness in this country among teenagers and parents that the more you spend the happier you’ll be and the more “respect” you’ll deserve. That is just a crock and I don’t mind saying so.
$3600 is too much for a prom dress whether you’re a fast food manager or a fortune 500 CEO. What kind of message does it send rich kids? That they have the birth-right to waste money that could be much better spent? I think that is the message, and that’s part of the “mental illness.”
I have very little sympathy for the “poor” blogger who couldn’t afford the fancy things their classmates’ parents bought. Big woop, my parents COULD afford most of it but they did NOT buy that crap for me, and as much as I complained, by the time I was in 10th grade I didn’t give a rats __s. I knew that I’d make friends regardless, and that I was pretty and welcomed with or without a bunch of expensive crap.
By Rod
April 25, 2006 11:22 AM | Link to this
I like Lola’s example. Set a limit of a certain amount (try and figure out the average prom dress price and maybe add 10% - so hers is nice) for the dress. If the dress your daughter wants is more than that, then she’s welcome to pay the additional cost if the dress is absolutely a “to die for” dress. If the child is old enough to be going to a prom, then they’re old enough to have some sort of a part-time job. Therefore, they have the ability to pay for the dress if they really want it - and they’ll appreciate it more since they contributed to it.
Oh, those of you who don’t want your child working at all, don’t get me started!!!! (learning responsibility which goes way beyond school teachings)
By Ashley Andrews
April 25, 2006 11:23 AM | Link to this
Paying that much for a prom dress doesn’t show your love. It shows your stupidity.
By Missie Watson
April 25, 2006 11:25 AM | Link to this
I think $3600 for a prom dress is a bit much but who am I to judge. My daughter recently went to the prom it was stress free because my 17 year saved her money from her part time job. She had her dress made, purchased her shoes, jewlery, and made her hair appointment. I was really impressed with how she handled everything. The day of her prom all I had to do was help her ge