Home > Gwinnett > Rick Badie / My Opinion > Archives > 2006 > March > 12 > Entry
DEL.ICIO.USBaby steps to recovery
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
He hasn’t returned to school yet.
When he does, it’ll be in increments. One class at a time. Baby steps.
That’s all Trevor Sanford takes these days. Back in December, the Meadowcreek High sophomore was attacked by two male students after a basketball game. The suspects have been disciplined by the school district, but their punishment cannot be disclosed. They were arrested and charged as adults and their court cases are still pending.
Trevor spent two weeks in the brain trauma unit at Children’s Healthcare of Atlanta at Scottish Rite. He’s undergone 45 days of outpatient therapy.
And he’s still not back.
“Sometimes he talks like a 7- or 8-year-old,” said Tim, his father. “Some days, you almost have to lead him by the hand.”
Trevor didn’t know the boys who jumped him or why they chose to. Not that it would matter. How do you justify something like that? Crazy.
Last week, I got an e-mail from Sue Faina of Concord, Calif. She’d read my columns about Trevor online and wanted to share a similar story.
In February, two boys blindsided her 18-year-old son with a skateboard, hitting the high school senior on the left side of the head. He has facial damage that’s healing. The spirit, though, is another matter.
“As we have found out, something like this affects so many,” Faina wrote. “Our community is rocked by this vicious attack because everyone knows it could have been their child.”
Yours. Maybe mine. So we care.
Trevor has had to relearn some things. To dress himself. To brush his teeth. On a good day, he might chat with friends on the phone or listen to music. He’s even doing a little schoolwork at home. His cognitive skills are way off, though, so he’s enrolled in an aftercare program.
He wants to return to Meadowcreek, to be a Mustang again. His parents won’t let him. Berkmar High maybe, but not the ‘Creek.
When he does return to school, he’ll have to work his way up to a full schedule.
Baby steps. Giant heart.
Comments
Commenting is now closed for this entry.
By Bruce Wilcox
March 12, 2006 12:08 PM | Link to this
“He wants to return to Meadowcreek, to be a Mustang again. His parents won’t let him. Berkmar High maybe, but not the ‘Creek.”
I really have to wonder about the aprents thinking that nothing ever happens at other schools in Gwinnett? Just a few years ago the state took our school system to task for under reporting incidents in the schools.
I guess it’s just easier to bash the ‘Creek’ than face reality.
By Jan Houston
March 13, 2006 12:29 AM | Link to this
How can anyone slam the actions of the parents in this????? Another school would be better than the one where he was attacked!!!! You can generally tell when a NON-parent spouts off about children…………. but if they are parents they are surely the bad ones!!!
By Robert
March 13, 2006 07:16 AM | Link to this
Yes, Jan, you are absolutely correct in every respect on this one. Lest you’ve never noticed, there are some folks that have nothing else better to do with their lives than to share their negativity and abject lack of insight with the world - instant experts on every topic known to mankind.
By Lisa
March 13, 2006 09:14 AM | Link to this
Bruce is correct. There is violence in all Gwinnett Public schools. Berkmar isn’tbetter than Meadowcreek, and neither is worse than Brookwood. We don’t hear about the every day violence. How many of you heard about my son being chased out of the middle school bathroom with a switchblade? Or how at Berkmar after our football team won, Berkmar kids went and rocked the buses? Show of hands? Exactly. And we’re not in the Meadowcreek cluster. Bruce wasn’t going after the parents, he was pointing out that there is violence in all our schools.
By Bruce Wilcox
March 13, 2006 12:03 PM | Link to this
“NON-parent spouts off aboutchildren”…Jan did I ever meet you, I’m sure if I had I would proudly show you my photo’s of Sydney my grand daughter. With two wonderful married daughters I wonder where you could come up with the idea that I’m a NON-parent?
Thanks Lisa, that is exactly the point I was attempting to make.
By Lilburn Parent
March 13, 2006 12:13 PM | Link to this
@Lisa: There is violence in all schools… you are correct.
You say your son was chased out of a bathroom? Well…Trevor was almost beaten to death! Both were acts of violence… your son’s incident is NOT in the same category.
The students rocked the buses… at Berkmar. What kind of lightweight football team are you talking about? BTW… that is just dumb student stuff. This is not violence! If you think this is violence please don’t attend any Duluth H.S. -vs- Peachtree Ridge H.S. football, swim, or almost any competitive event. From what I have been told, the violence is sometimes from the kids & but some of the parents have been equally guilty.
BTW, what did you do? Send your son back to the school where the incident happened? Told him to try not to think about it? Please note: My questions are rhetorical.
My point is… you as a parent handled the situation in a way you thought best.
If Trevor were my son… he would NOT return to the school where the incident happened. I can’t begin to imagine how traumatic that would be.
I don’t think his parents believe that Berkmar is so much safer. I believe they are trying in their own way to protect their son as he begins yet another phase of his recovery process.
By Bruce Wilcox
March 13, 2006 01:17 PM | Link to this
Trevor wants to return to the ‘Creek’, he must enjoy the school and have friends there. If he did return I believe he’d be welcomed with respect and protection from all his peers.
By the actions of two, the entire student body gets the blame, sad really. By running away from an incident that could happen at any school isn’t really an answer, there is only so far you can run.
Trevor I believe has a better handle on the situation than anyone else could.
By Jan Houston
March 13, 2006 03:07 PM | Link to this
Good Grief!!! I still stand by my first blog and arguing about this would be never ending……………… oh and there was another “option” besides non-parent - guess you missed it.
By Bruce Wilcox
March 13, 2006 08:41 PM | Link to this
Oh yes the I must be a bad parent comment? I try to ignore ignorance, funny how some just like to prove that they are, congrads Jan.
By Michael H. Smith
March 13, 2006 09:22 PM | Link to this
I really have no problems at all understanding Mr. and Mrs. Sanford’s reasoning or any other parent’s, who having gone through similar personal tragedy would avoid sending their child back to the scene of their heartbreak. Where not only was their child victimized but they too were violated. It is not a matter to recon do we live in an ever present violent society. No, it is more a matter of fool me once shame on you, as for the fool twice…. well, that’ll never happen, certainly not standing in the same spot, as most of us would reason.
Keep believing Sanford family, as the father who had one child that suffered a severe head trauma related to an accident, though she has long since fully recovered, I can honestly tell you most days your faith is all you’ve got, so don’t stop believing.
By Jan Houston
March 14, 2006 06:24 AM | Link to this
Ingnorance??? Congrats not congrads…………… You are a name caller when your point goes haywire - I needed a good laugh and YOU Brucie gave it to me!!!!
We ALL already KNOW there is violence in just about everywhere one turns, the story was about a child, whose parents were making the best decision for him and you critized them. Have a lovely day.
By Jan Houston
March 14, 2006 06:26 AM | Link to this
uh oh I misspelled one too!!!!
By Lisa
March 14, 2006 07:04 AM | Link to this
Lilburn Parent,
Perhaps we’ll think the situation though. If my son hadn’t outran the student perhaps he would’ve been STABBED to death. Is he stil at his school - hell yes! It’s called not running away and letting the bad guys win. The kid went to jail.
And the cowards at Berkmar went after the band buses.
My daughter was sexually molested at school when she was in 1st grade - that 6 years old that she had to go through a rape test at the hospital. It took everything I had to let her go back to that school until we moved down here. But she did it, and she’s grown to be a very strong young lady.
My opinions come from violent crimes committed on my kids while in school Lilburn Parent. I hope none of it happens to your children, and that you don’t have to sit at work wondering when the phone rings if it’s the school saying something happen. I know Trevor’s parents will have it no matter where he goes back to school.
By Lilburn Parent
March 14, 2006 09:50 AM | Link to this
@Lisa: I pray for your children’s safety!
I am certainly glad “YOU” as a parent made the decisions that you thought best for your children. You chose not to run away… where your son was concerned.
“You” chose to do something different when your little girl was attacked. You stayed for as long as you had to…. and left!
I APPLAUD you as a parent for doing what you felt was right for your children.
I think you are likely no different than Trevor’s parents, you are GUILTY of being a “GOOD” parent.
As a “GOOD” parent, you do what you think is best for your minor children… until they reach majority.
By oldteacher
March 14, 2006 09:53 AM | Link to this
I’m glad that I don’t teach in Gwinnett County.
By Lilburn Parent
March 14, 2006 10:04 AM | Link to this
@oldteacher: What is going on in Gwinnett County is small compared to MOST large school systems.
If you don’t mind my asking… where do you teach? Is it a large school system?
By Susie
March 14, 2006 10:26 AM | Link to this
Oldteacher, I’m just glad I don’t LIVE in Gwinnett county. Reading this blog is scaring me to death for all the kids who go to school there.
By Bruce Wilcox
March 14, 2006 02:00 PM | Link to this
“Ingnorance??? Congrats not congrads”, kind of embarrassing isn’t it Jan, guess we all make mistakes. Name caller? Funny, I believe you implied because I didn’t agree with your opinion I must be a bad parent.
Hint Jan, this is an opinion column, if everyone agreed it wouldn’t make much sense in having one would it?
By oldteacher
March 14, 2006 07:04 PM | Link to this
I teach in a very small school system in another county. I do live in Gwinnett.
By Jan Houston
March 15, 2006 06:06 AM | Link to this
Seems to me, you are the one that did not like MY comments about your comments and so it goes . I caught MY spelling error, but too late……………… anyway You can’t seem to commemt, after the fact, without getting your panties in a wad!!!!
If you have a granddaughter now, you should be figuring out a way to help your daughter put her in in private school, so she won’t have to worry “as much” as if she has to attend a public one, besides that would give you something else to do!!! I’ve got to go now and get my kids off to GCPS and pray all day, again.
Lighten up and listen more today. Peace.
By Bruce Wilcox
March 15, 2006 10:46 AM | Link to this
Thanks Jan for the deep concern you have for my family, even to the point on how I should run it. My concern is now is how much you believe you know about my family having never met you, why one could believe that you’re some kind of stalker ( that’s humor Jan don’t go off the deep end).
Your suggestion that I spend my days “figuring out a way to help your daughter put her in in private school”, I have no idea if it’s private or not, it well may be. I raised my daughters to be independent and to take responsibility for their actions. If my daughter is happy with the education my grandchild is receiving why should I question it?
Both my daughters attended public schools and went on to private colleges, both have very nice careers. It’s not so much the school, but how you use the education you receive.
I retired to the South, both my daughters live in the Northeast which may explain the difference in education. Being that I’m retired please don’t concern yourself with how I spend my days.
I still believe you cannot grasp the concept of a opinion column, if you don’t want your opinion commented on, just make a note that it is a statement. I suggest that you take a deep breath before you respond, in your haste to attack me you made another spelling error, tsk, tsk. It seems that “getting your panties in a wad” is quite common around here.
By Jan Houston
March 15, 2006 09:51 PM | Link to this
Bruce, you just bore me!!! So many words, and still nothing. And you really should practice what you preach…………