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Saturday, December 3, 2005
Sadly, Mandisa is not alone. So, what do we do about it?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Mandisa, my dear, you’re not alone.
If you ever thought you were, let it go, girl.
Lots of people feel, have felt, or are highly familiar with your story. They empathized and sympathized with it all too well. Which is sad in itself.
On Thursday, I wrote about Mandisa Surpris, a 15-year-old black girl who excels in all she does at Parkview High. The focus on academic achievement has made her an outcast among some of her peers. Some of the black kids at the Lilburn school question her “blackness” and say she “acts white.”
By late Thursday, Mandisa’s story had generated nearly 500 postings on ajc. com. Another 400 readers posted in-depth comments on the Badie Blog. And I’ve lost count of personal e-mails and telephone calls.
Out of all of those responses, only a handful (to put the number at five would be generous) tried to discredit me, blame Mandisa or pooh-pooh the topic. They’re in denial. Let’s not worry about them. We have to keep the Mandisas of the world focused, and get the kids who ridicule students like her thinking right.
In the column, I laid heavy blame on the parents for their kids’ crippling behavior and overall attitude toward high achievers. Many readers agreed, and some expressed interest in finding ways to combat this destructive way of thinking.
“Is it possible for our churches to take a more active role in providing parental support through classes that help parents become more effective?” one reader wrote. “For those of us who volunteer with youth, are there programs to help us become better and more effective mentors?”
Good questions. I don’t have the answers, and if you do, let me know. I’ll share the information. For now, though, I have to reiterate that change starts with Mom and Dad.
They must find a way to drill home the fact that academic excellence doesn’t translate to acting white, and that dumbing down doesn’t mean you’re “keeping it real” as a black person. They need to teach the richness and beauty of black culture while rooting out misunderstandings, myths and flat-out lunacy.
Black culture isn’t about wearing urban gear, speaking poorly, acting slovenly and disrespecting the Mandisas of the world. And young blacks are the big losers if they think those things define our culture. We are not that.
None of this is easy. And as so many readers pointed out, the very parents who need to read Mandisa’s story probably won’t. Maybe we have to do what one reader, a third-generation college-educated black female, suggested: Start a pass-it-on torch.
Every Sunday, she and a relative stress the importance of education in sessions where young people learn new vocabulary words and work on math. Her church does likewise.
“If those of us who have ‘made it’ learn to pass it on, maybe in 100 years or so, the world would be a different place,” she wrote. “Realize, however, that many of their parents weren’t taught these things, and that it will also need to be instilled in them.”
This is just one way to tackle the problem. If you have other ideas, please share them.
There are lots of us out there who don’t want this self-fulfilling prophecy of failure passed on to the next generation.
Stop the lunacy.
Rick Badie’s column appears on Sundays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays. Contact him at 770-263-3875; or e-mail: rbadie@ajc.com.
