Only I could get stuck in Friday traffic on a Saturday.

If I can't pay my emergency room bill immediately, will I be "put down," or will I be put up for adoption?

The Georgia Legislature, our link to the 19th century.

I was driving during Earth Hour, so I turned off my headlights and saved the planet.

Now, when you fly with Delta, they can lose only one of your bags. You have to pay extra for the privilege of having them lose both of them.

If you're going to do the right thing, it usually starts by saying the right thing.

Where do you get a psychiatrist for $100 per visit? A big-box store?

Let's hope Sonny didn't purchase a round-trip ticket to China.

The only time anyone ever talked down to William Buckley was at his graveside service.

If several of Washington's baseball fans booed President Bush, he must be doing a lot of things right!

For the first time in my 52 years, I was embarrassed to be an American listening to the crowd booing President Bush during the ceremonial first pitch at the Nationals' new stadium. But then again, with the lack of respect running rampant in Generation X and younger, it should not have surprised me.

Anybody know where I can get a copy of that new "Governors Gone Wild" video?

They had to cancel Atlanta's St. Patrick's Day Parade because of storm damage. I guess it was "the luck of the Irish."

If we let Clark Howard handle the federal budget, he would be handing out packages of ramen noodles instead of food stamps and the president would be traveling by Greyhound One. Sounds good to me.

A long time after you and I are gone, someone will come up with a theory on how Diana died, how to revive the Mideast talks and how to win the free world's fight against radical terrorism.

I am happy about catching the stomach flu. I lost 5 pounds.

The only people upset with Obama's pastor are white folks who have never so much as had lunch with an African-American.

Why does it not surprise me that the boys are trying to pressure Hillary into stepping aside for Barack and are calling her divisive if she doesn't?

If the Gwinnett Braves stadium is named after Delta, when a player stretches a single into a double, he will have to pay $25 for the extra bag.

Those weren't enemy snipers in Tuzla, they were members of the vast right-wing conspiracy.

Can anyone tell the writers' strike is over?

The guy's a lobbyist and in the payday lending business, so no wonder he thinks an $80,000 loan to a legislator to be repaid with $120,000 in five days is legitimate.

My rules for dating my daughter: If you pull in my driveway and honk, you'd better be delivering a package.

—-Need to Vent? Call 404-222-8338; e-vent: vent@ajc.com