Those of you who are newcomers to our fair city will realize all these things soon enough all by yourselves, but allow me to give you a head start by listing just some of the Things I Hate (And Love) About Driving in Atlanta.

I hate how Atlanta drivers feel compelled to slow (or stop) and rubberneck at every blue light and at every wrecker hooking up the latest wreck. Don't they get any entertainment at home?

I love how Atlanta drivers feel compelled to stop and rubberneck. It gives me time to catch up on my flossing.

I hate how eight out of every 10 Atlanta drivers immediately move to the left lane. The left lane on a free-flowing freeway ought to be reserved for passing, not for those apparently driven to either lead the way for us all or help the cops enforce the speed limit.

I love how Atlanta drivers move immediately to the left lane. I stay in the right lane, and since I'm all by myself over there, I make pretty good time.

I hate all the "I've got to get in front" drivers who wait until the last second to cut into a exit or merging lane. Their time is obviously so much more valuable than everyone else's.

I love all the "I've got to get in front" drivers on those rare days the cops are patrolling the gore areas. It's such a pleasure to see them not only be delayed but also face a hefty fine for crossing solid lines.

I hate the Wild West mentality of

Atlanta freeways, because at 80 mph it's so much easier to kill or be killed than it is at 65.

I love the Wild West mentality of Atlanta freeways because when you go 80 mph, it only stands to reason you get there pretty darn fast.

I hate Atlanta drivers who insist on tailgating, who want us to trust that their reflexes are as good as Evander Holyfield's, that their driving ability is as good as Jeff Gordon's, and their brakes are anti-lock and their tires are well-maintained.

I love to see tailgating discouraged, and after every eight-vehicle Atlanta freeway chain-reaction crash, my reasoning is that seven drivers won't be so quick to tailgate next time.

I hate Atlanta's miserably timed and poorly maintained traffic signals. With just a moderate amount of increased spending in this area, we'd get a much better handle on both congestion and air quality.

I love Atlanta's miserable traffic signals. They give us so much more time to read the headlines, put on makeup, eat doughnuts and drink coffee.

I hate the fact there aren't many good alternate routes in Atlanta, and when one major freeway is closed by, let's say, a tanker crash, it fries traffic in the entire city.

I love the fact that I know most alternate routes in Atlanta and so few other drivers do, so I can generally get where I'm going.

I hate people who drive in the emergency lanes in an emergency, those who ignore the sirens and flashing lights of emergency vehicles, and those who just seem to have contempt for our highway laws.

I love people who show courtesy in traffic, those who acknowledge such courtesy with a friendly wave. I'm just nuts about people who actually use their turn signals before turning or changing lanes.

I hate the fact that our rush hours keep getting longer and longer and our individual commutes are following suit.

I love longer commutes because, let's face it, they're keeping me gainfully employed. Who else can say that?

Joey Ledford's column appears Wednesday, Friday and Sunday in the Journal-Constitution's Metro section.