Misadventures in Atlanta

By Tray

August 18, 2005 09:07 AM | Link to this

morning have to think onthat one and it could be painful. (the thinking) Man, what a day to call in sick, but this dang thing call responisbility keeps rearing its ugly head….ugh

By divine1

August 18, 2005 09:13 AM | Link to this

My Golden Parachute would have to be one of my best friends in NYC. We met in college, he was a junior and I was a freshman. He was more like a big brother to me. He was there for me when I broke it off with the “one that got away”, even though it did not make sense to him. He was there for me through my first divorce and did not even give me an “I told you so” speech despite the fact that his initial reaction to my first husband was very negative. Throughout my separation when I was going through my “F—- all men” stage - he was there to try to keep me on the right path. All the time we spent together, I thought of him as a big brother -in many senses - Dude was 6’ 5” - 260- so you know when he was with me no one messed with me too tough.

The night we almost surrendered our passports at the friendship border, me and a group of my girlfriends went to a dancehall party in Brooklyn that our friend’s crew was the DJ. I wanted to show off my new Anita Baker/Halle Berry hair cut to all my friends, GP was the only one that saw it prior to the dance - he made a special trip from Brooklyn to the Bronx to check out my new do. Anyhoo, one of the guys in the crew was a special friend of mine so when I walked in - if you’ve ever been to a Caribbean party you know there are several people in a sound crew - the DJ started shouting out “Divine and ‘er crew a look good t’nite, mon”. This went on for the whole night, so of course me and my girls were feeling good. The evening got better when GP and his friends came through. He came over and hugged me, asked me what I needed to drink and left to go get it for me. Once he brought my drink back, he left me to mingle with my girls. My special friend came over and told me how “gorgeous” I looked but he could not leave the booth for too long, so I spent the night dancing with other people. Little did I know GP was watching my every move. I was enjoying myself, I love to wine up myself when I met my first husband they truly thought I was Trini because of the way I wined. LOL. Well, this one guy I was dancing with kept trying to rub places he had no business touching - so I politely took his hand and placed them at his side. My reaction did not sit too well with this guy, so he tried again, I removed his hand again and I told him I was through dancing with him. This guy apparently did not take rejection lightly, he grabbed my hand hard as I tried to walk away and pulled me back to him. Bad move - before I had a chance to react, GP came out of nowhere and draped this guy up. GP was well known in Brooklyn and when dude saw who it was he just started stuttered an apology. I was so upset after that incident I asked GP to take me home. He walked me up to my apartment, gave me a big bear hug that made me feel safe and kissed me on my forehead. He then explained to me that he will always be there to protect me and if I gave him a chance he would give me the world. I was like huh??? I loved him, but not in the ‘I am in love with you” sense. He asked me how I felt about him and I was very honest. He looked a little hurt when he left but I could not lead him on. Our friendship remained in tact, it was awkward for a little while - but we got through it. He calls me once a month to do his “Big Brother Check”, he’s the one at 2 in the morning when I have a problem that’s keeping me up and I need someone to listen, he’s the one who’s always the first to call me on my birthday. And you know what I do the same for him.

@HG - Yes, Mr. Leo’s is a soul food restaurant. I think they have live jazz on Thursdays, but it’s been awhile.

@AggWit - Before you can say it — Yeah, this is a long azz post - and what.

By QC

August 18, 2005 09:19 AM | Link to this

Morning All

By MissUnderstood

August 18, 2005 09:21 AM | Link to this

Good Morning Fam!!! Just popping in. I have been practicing my video skills I have a challenge when the kids come home. lol

On said topic. I have a parachute, and he’s not on the friend list, well he was but now he’s not and we’re both ok with that. We’re still friends, it’s just move involved now. We talk and share a lot of ourselves with each other. Whenever I have a problem, he’s the first person I think about. If I don’t contact him, he’s calling me making sure things are ok and he shares with me things that may have been on his mind. Right now, I can’t imagine not having him in my life.

By DC Native

August 18, 2005 09:25 AM | Link to this

Good Morning Everyone

By MissHeavenSong

August 18, 2005 09:28 AM | Link to this

Parachute, hmmm makes me think about uh well i won’t bring him up. But that’s one door i want to stay closed or else he’ll be “jumping” without his parachute. Oh well have a wonderful day everyone MissU it’s good to read your feeling better, but still take it easy around your house & with the kids.

By QC

August 18, 2005 09:30 AM | Link to this

Welcome to our blog DC Native

By East Point's Own

August 18, 2005 09:30 AM | Link to this

This is pretty simple… guys don’t just hang around chicks for no reason. Just because a guy never makes a move or you never catch him staring that does not mean he is hoping your relationship stays plutonic. A guy in a “plutonic” relationship is just waiting for you to give him a glimmer of hope that things will become more. Either that or he is gay.

I had an ex- who swore up and down that a couple guys in her life had no attraction to her at all… But soon after we started going out in public alot she said she started getting emials and phone calls … from these guys talking about I can’t wait until you are single again.. etc, etc. But unitl these dudes came out ans showed their true colors we had a couple arguments over how strongly she felt that these dudes were not interested in her. But myself and her fatehr both saw that these guys had been trailing her for years, just not waiting for her to give them a sign that they could move in. I think that she was upset at me sort of because I made her see that her so called plutonic friends were wanting much more than that. Women are the only one who perpetuate the myth of a plutonic relationship. I have never in my life heard a male be the first person in a conversation to use the word plutonic… it ain’t natural. Men don’t stick around women just to be friends for ever.

The only way that a plutonic relationship can half way exist is if both parties are completely unattracted to each other, and this is rare because who really hangs out with people who they are completely unattracted to???

By the way is it platonic or plutonic???

By MissUnderstood

August 18, 2005 09:31 AM | Link to this

Wow Divine, sounds like you guys have a very special friendship. My best girlie who live in Florida now always told me that if I had love stare me right in the face I wouldn’t recognize it. There are times when that could have been true, but I’m a little wiser now and I had to learn the hard way what was most important especially when it comes to you and your one.

By Scorned

August 18, 2005 09:33 AM | Link to this

Good Mornings Blog Nation:

Danggit, WiseDiva were you fly on my wall this morning. I was on the phone with my Golden Parachute at 5:00 a.m. My mood is extremely bitter this morning because of my knucklehead 16 yr old son. It is hard for a woman to raise a manchild alone and this topic relates to my situation on 2 different levels. Got to leave the office for a few minutes, I will return with some details and also a question or 2 for some of the men on here.

(I said I was not going to be a regular blogger, but here I am 2 days straight.)

By MissUnderstood

August 18, 2005 09:36 AM | Link to this

Thanks MHS- I will, my grammy already called me and said she will make a special trip if I misbehave, so u know if grammy coming out, she ain’t coming out for nothing. lol

By NIce Guy - Or No?

August 18, 2005 09:39 AM | Link to this

I think everyone has a had Golden Parachute, and I think what the ladies don’t realize is that the old adage really is true, men and women can’t just be friends.

The golden parachute is what I refer to as “nice guy syndrome.” A “nice guy”(not necessarilly nice, but he is to you because he wants more) will always give you a shoulder to cry on, or an ear talk at or anything else you ever wanted because he has an immense crush on you. Think about it. Guys enjoy hanging out with guys right? We’re nasty, mean, gross, sports-loving a***** to eachother. Wer talk about money and cars and really, we don’t ever talk about the things that chicks do, and rarely are we interested.

For example. I love movies. Love them. Love them to death, see as many as I can etc etc etc, and while I don’t share that love with too many guy friends, I do share it with friends that are girls. However, I only ever take girls to movies that I am trying desperately to hook up with or have a crush on.

Have you ever seen a guy that was “just friends” with an unattractive girl that wasn’t gay? Have you ever noticed that hot chicks always seem to be able to find a shoulder to cry on?

Ladies, take it from a nice guy. If you are even a little attractive and there is a guy in your life that is there to hold your through the hard times, deep down, he really wants to hook up with you. Now, obviously, such as in this story, there is more to it than just that. Yes, guys like to have a chick that they can talk to about the things they can’t talk to about with their boys, but I would be willing to wager that the overwhelming number of guys that are friends with girls are that way because they are under the delusion that they can one day hook up with said chick, and the chicks, basking in the attention and ego massage they recieve from these confused gentlemen, deny what they know to be true: he has a crush on them.

I write about this all the time in my blog

By quietstorm

August 18, 2005 09:42 AM | Link to this

Buenos Diaz! Great story Divine! I’m curious to know why you didn’t give your GP a try? His character sounds good. His physical description ain’t bad at all.

By Wise Diva

August 18, 2005 09:44 AM | Link to this

It’s platonic, and that is what I get for blogging after midnight. Thanks!

By Ivy

August 18, 2005 09:45 AM | Link to this

Ok, this thing is finally on.

Good Morning, everyone!

I think men and women can eventually be platonic friends; however, most times, one or both attempt or will attempt to cross the line before the platonic-ness can be set into place……which knocks it off balance. In the back of my mind,it kinda leads me to thinking back about that old Love & Basketball concept………is she/he really JUST your friend? (with a raised eyebrow) Hmmmmmmmmmmmm???? Prime example would be me and my man. Now, in my mind, we were always platonic friends…..that is, up until late 2003. One night, he confessed his feelings and well, here we are some almost 2yrs later.

By MissUnderstood

August 18, 2005 09:46 AM | Link to this

WOW EPO- That’s deep. You just made me wonder about something. I know a guy who’s been friends with a female for about 14 years now. They know each other in and out. Neither one’s made a move on each other and he’s even said that he doesn’t look at her in that way. Whenever they are dating other ppl, they become friends with them, but I have notice him say that his girls are always threatened by his friendship with her and she sort of latches on to his girl. She befriends them and gets really close to them. Anyhoo, since he’s not attracted to her, I’m not sure about her to him, but I do know she’s seen his manhood. She walked in on him one day not aware that he’d just gotten out of the shower, oh, back to my statement, if she made a move on him, how far do you think it would go. Right now I don’t know if he’s the one keeping it friends or if she’s the one keeping it friends but I do know that he knows how she operates and some things he wouldn’t like to deal with.

By Ivy

August 18, 2005 09:49 AM | Link to this

EPO, it’s platonic.

By Wise Diva

August 18, 2005 09:49 AM | Link to this

(ahem this is my first official business as the lady in red”

Welcome to the blog Nice Guy. I am afraid that one of the AJC blog rules is that we don’t post links to personal blogs on the site. Thank your for your cooperation and I hope that you continue posting.

By abc

August 18, 2005 09:52 AM | Link to this

Greetings!

I disagree about hetero men and women being unable to be truly platonic friends. I have several friends who are women, straight and gay, pretty and plain. If any of them made a move on me I’d tell them to either sober up or go get drunk, whichever seemed most appropriate.

It seems the Golden Parachute concept is girls-only, and always with a guy. I can’t say I share either more or less with my female friends than with the guys, nor is there any specific person who’s more of a touchstone.

By MissUnderstood

August 18, 2005 09:55 AM | Link to this

Well Nice guy, one reason would be because Nice guys don’t always want nice girls. They want the ones that raise a little drama every now and then. If you get someone like you, then you may get bored. I have the foggiest idea really, but I don’t think nice guys finish last, I think the need to re-evaluate how nice they need to be. If you’re a friend with other things in mind, then you may not need to let it go so far. Nip it in the bud, stop the deception, let the chips fall to see where they will land.

By Wise Diva

August 18, 2005 09:56 AM | Link to this

Good morning DC Native!

If you are new around here, welcome.

By Ivy

August 18, 2005 09:57 AM | Link to this

Miss U, they are secretly cutting each other or have cut at some point in their relationship or one or both want to…..I guess you would have to define how close is close. If he has some exciting news or a problem, does he call his “platonic” girl before he calls his main girl? Does he spend more time out w/ “platonic” girl than w/ his male friends? Seemingly, he may not be into her but she may be into him w/ the latching on to all of his women friends/girfriends. It’s his choice though…….I know for me, if I didn’t feel comfortable w/ my man’s relationship w/ a female counterpart, I would let him know and with valid reasons….either he can fix it or well you know the rest……….I ain’t got time to be competing w/ my man’s supposedly “platoni” friend……hmmmmmmmpf!

By MistaO

August 18, 2005 09:58 AM | Link to this

Was gonna say something but I think EPO said it all.

Big is the fact that women do perpetuate the myth. But I think a lot of women know this is bunk too. I had some chicks thinking we were frinds and whatnot but first chance we’d have relations. Honestly, since middle school I have never even wanted to be just friends with any chicks. There was this big girl, I mean big girl in college and most cats would crack on her but I thought she was a cutie pie. We talked for a minute and was like friends but I hit.

Naturally I don’t think (from a mans perspective) that just friends is remotely possible.

By Miss Atl

August 18, 2005 10:00 AM | Link to this

Morning Blog:

My golden parachute was the guy that I mentioned a few weeks back that needed to stop talking to me because he felt that he was too dependent on me. So i dont have him anymore, I have been divorced :) . My b/f and pretty much everyone I speak to always tells me that he wanted more and was waiting on my b/f to mess up so he can come in and save the day. I just can’t seem to think that he would want to be with me. Its almost incest (lol) I see him like family. we always joked that if neither of us were married in 15 years (which we have about 12 years left to wait that we would marry) hehehe! But the idea that he wanted more (in my best Mike Tyson voice) is ludicrous. we always joked that if neither of us were married in 15 years (which we have about 12 years left to wait that we would marry) hehehe! But the idea that he wanted more (in my best Mike Tyson voice) is ludacris.

By divine1

August 18, 2005 10:04 AM | Link to this

@QS - Is that you QS2? The main reason we could not work is because I was not feeling him in that sense. I saw him as a big brother and will always see him that way. We always joke back and forth, but the one thing he got serious about is when I told him I wish he would marry me and end my misery. He gets real serious and says “I’d do it in a heartbeat, if I knew you were serious”. I don’t do that anymore.

By East Point's Own

August 18, 2005 10:04 AM | Link to this

MissUnderstood It all depends on if both parties have some level of attraction to each other, and also if one party throws up the stale old line about I don’t want to ruin our friendship, or I value our friendship too much. If the person making the move is determined enough they can overcome such malarkey or they will run the other person away because the other person is not really feeling them the same way.

The problems occur when one person really is not feeling the other person the same way, or is not willing to give it a try. Then you get the strange feeling when you are around each other and you can’t ever really go back to normal. The way I see it the relationship is really ruined when you don’t give the person a chance who showed interest. Because you can’t hang out with someone who you have confessed an attraction to after they turn you down. You really get to feeling like a sucker then.

I think guys are usually better at trying the relationship out for a while than most chicks. Most chicks may really not be interested or there might be 20 other reasons a chick might not want to date their former road dog. But A female has a better shot at holla’n at the dude in this situation. But once the cat is out of the bag you might as well give it a shot cause if you don’t the relationship is already damaged. You might come out better by dating for a while then weaseling your way out of it later and letting the guy down softer cause at least then you made him feel like he had a shot… and you might salvage your friendship this way.

By BlackIce

August 18, 2005 10:05 AM | Link to this

Cause men think with their dingalings…

Good Morning

By MissUnderstood

August 18, 2005 10:05 AM | Link to this

Ivy My thoughts exactly. I didn’t want to get in his biz or anything but he says nothing has happened, and he’s not looking for anything to happen. I thought it was weird that every girl he gets she make it a point to become good friends with that girl. She’s even made several comments about how she can’t seem to get a good man. All of her men cheat on her, according to her. I casually stated that if he were my man, while I could understand that they are friends I absolutely would not compete with her for his attention, and she would not be my instant buddy either.

By Suga&Spice

August 18, 2005 10:09 AM | Link to this

Good Morning Folks

EPO-I have a ton of platonic male friends that is all it ever was and all it ever will be. We are all real open with one another and I will admit that a number of them have told me, ‘When I first met you yeah, you could have got it. But hell we fam now so that is just nasty.’ But that is about it. It is possible. Hell one of my best freinds is a dude.

By East Point's Own

August 18, 2005 10:09 AM | Link to this

we are “just friends” until I can convince you to give me more… Or until you get drunk enough to let your guard down.

By divine1

August 18, 2005 10:09 AM | Link to this

Ladies, let me tell you MistaO is not lying about the boys having this knowledge in middle school. I was talking to my son last night about this girl he likes. He told me she said she’s not ready for a relationship yet, so he tells me mom that’s okay — I’m going to do my thing. I asked jokingly “What’s that pretend to be her friend so you can have an easy in?” The boy looked at me with a grin on his face and asked “How did you know”. I told him that’s not the way to try to get a girl’s heart and we had a long talk about playing games with peoples emotions.

By Miss Atl

August 18, 2005 10:10 AM | Link to this

These stories remind me of Joan and Williams relationship on Girlfriends.

By milesman

August 18, 2005 10:11 AM | Link to this

Hi, ya’ll should be ashamed. I think the common link between the stories posted so far is that these men are being used for their attention with the knowledge that they’ve developed romantic feelings- “GP just landed in the friend zone.” (READ: he pursued me from the start but I was only feelin’ him enough to keep him around when I can’t get attention from who I want!…’After THE ONE got away’.

If these people are HONEST with themselves, they know that these men are pursuing them and that their attention (ie, buying drinks, yappin on the phone, etc) is a sappy attempt at courtship. Several posters including Diva have quickly showed their trifling doings and ya’ll need to be called out considering these same people consistently wine about men leading them on etc.

Very condescending ladies and you all can rebut all you want, you’ve shown your ugly sides this morning!

By QC

August 18, 2005 10:12 AM | Link to this

^5 BlackIce

By MissUnderstood

August 18, 2005 10:14 AM | Link to this

Speaking or ruining friendships, I did just that with a friend of mine. We crossed the line and I wasn’t as into him as he was into me. The problem came when he realized that I wasn’t feeling him like that and he didn’t care. It would grow on me. I couldn’t do it, and it was really awkward being friends with him after that. We tried, but he would slip into that couple mode and I would have to slide outta it. I missed my friend so much and I couldn’t get him back w/o being his one. I haven’t talked with him in about 7years now and there are times when I wonder how he’s doing.

By Scorned

August 18, 2005 10:15 AM | Link to this

Morning again,

Well, I do have a GP that has been in my life since middle school. He has been my best friend forever, and he has played the “father” figure in my sons’ lives when I needed him to. He did warn me about the father of my second son, but I didn’t listen, therefore I wear the moniker of “Scorned”. He accepts my calls anytime of the day and he has been there for me emotionally. I had another GP in high school that would always lend an hear, but we did cross the line about 3 years ago. We are still friends he is just a different type of friend now.

Which leads my to the knucklehead that I have for a son. When I moved where I live now 5 years ago, my son befriended the girl across the street. As he got older I was always telling him that things would probably change between them, because 9x out of 10 men and women cannot be just friends, but up until yesterday he would always say that they were only friends, and there was nothing between them. He feels like I didn’t know what I was talking about, because he is a “Man” and I don’t understand. I went out last night and told him that I would return around 10 or 10:30, well I got back at about 8:45 and found my son with his tongue in this girl’s mouth and his hand in her pants on my living room couch, grrrrrrr. And his 10yr. old brother was in the very next room. Did not I try to tell him? I couldn’t even say anything at the time, but for her to go home. I called my GP this morning and told him to please talk to that boy. Why do boys think their mother’s can’t tell them anything?

Looooooong post I know, but dang I am venting.

By milesman

August 18, 2005 10:16 AM | Link to this

Thank you EPO- this sounds like exploitation of the hopeless “Nice guy”.

By Ignatius

August 18, 2005 10:16 AM | Link to this

Good morning all. I was going to work all day long for a change today, but I have to comment on this one. I have to disagree with EPO this one time, I do think men and women can be platonic friends without either expecting anything from the other, that’s what friends are all about. In the workplace you are expected to act in a certain manner so as not to make folks uncomfortable or intimidated. Some call it being PC, some call it over-regulated, some call it legislating morality to an extent. In my eyes, it is common decency. Why ruin a perfectly good relationship with a friend or someone you love by adding in factors that are either not meant to be or have no place? It is like the unrequited love or loves of your life that you return to in memories from time to time just for a respite from the world’s troubles. Isn’t it nice to have someone special that is available to be this form of refuge for you at most any time? “That which is done out of love is beyond good and evil.” Sometimes our love for someone else puts up a wall over some liberties strictly because of your feelings for that person. If it goes beyond it becomes extremely uncomfortable to both parties, hurt feelings, hurt egos, mis-interpreted signals, to me it’s jsut not worth the risk. I had rahter love someone for what we do have than to ruin a relationship wanting something I cannot have. Just like I said yesterday, laugh, love, live. Take what’s given you and ask for nothing more. Life is good and full of surprises and gifts. Enjoy them but don’t be greedy. Hey D1! And MissHeavenSong did you ever post under a feline moniker? I am no good at figuring out who’s who. We should all have to wear name tags. ;) You all have a wonderful day. BTW, on topic, I have more golden parachutes than a drag racer, many of them unawares, but you all rank right up there here at our little blog.

By East Point's Own

August 18, 2005 10:19 AM | Link to this

Suga&Spice Exactly my point, in your mind you may know that nothing is gonna happen, but they are still hoping. Once a guy is sexually attracted to you it never goes away unless he finds out that you are just a nasty lil thang… Now we can still hang out with chicks and be all cool, but given the proper cricumstances most of these guys will probably try you again.

BlackIce Its not that we thank with that part of our body, but if we really try to hollaat a chick and end up in the friend zone, either we say the h3ll with you and move on, or we stick around and become labeled platonic. If we become platonic then we are cool, but still waiting to either get another chance to holla or to find a reason to say the h3ll with you and move on. In many cases guys feel like its better to be close with her and get to know her as a friend and maybe work something out later than to give up all together and not have you in their life at all.

Hope is a h3lluva drug.

By Tray

August 18, 2005 10:20 AM | Link to this

I know it sounds like grade school, but couldn’t your best friend be your gp? Maybe I have different shades of “gold” for my parachute. when I just need a good chuckle or a quick reality call, it is one friend, but for big problems another and when I’m ready for a flipping nervous breakdown its another.

sidebar, Hey MissU, hope you listen to everyone and take it easy! Scorned its ok to be a regular where everyone knows your name! DC Native & Nice Guy, welcome to a great crowd. where’s Charlie? EPO, smell the fire, you left me over here thinking…

By divine1

August 18, 2005 10:23 AM | Link to this

@milesman - I read your post and I have to wonder, if you felt like you yourself were placed in the friend zone by someone you desired? My friend - who I love dearly - has received the same things from me that he has given. I have taken him out on several occasions, if he was in need I have given it to him, if he calls me at 2 a.m. just to talk I’m willing to listen, when he needs morale support - I am his number one cheerleader, and when I’m in a relationship he is introduced to by phone or in person so they are aware that he is a big part of my life. He’s not the interim friend when I need someone to pay attention to me, he’s a forever friend and it goes both ways.

By abc

August 18, 2005 10:24 AM | Link to this

The commonality to me is that it appears that for many, their sexuality controls them instead of them controlling their sexuality.

By MissHeavenSong

August 18, 2005 10:26 AM | Link to this

No MrIgg i never have

By MissUnderstood

August 18, 2005 10:26 AM | Link to this

Wow milesman, did ya get it all out this? lol Are you suggesting to give a relationship a try with a person you have no feelings for? I only ask b/c what I read clearly said that these women did not have “those feelings” for their GP. It takes more than just the one person telling you that they dig you to start the deal. There has to be a mutual foundation in order for it to remotely start on the right foot. I don’t think they are being nasty, they were being honest with themselves and the men involved. It’s not like they returned the infatuation and then later said, “It’s not working for me”, that would be nasty. These men took a chance hoping that the ladies would say ok, lets give it a shot. A lot of men on the other hand go into the situation knowing full well that they will wait a sistah out. Wear her down until she gives in. There’s a difference. And yes, when they say lead them on that’s what they mean. The men that they refer to when they say that know up front that these women want more than what they are giving them, so don’t pop on here with your self righteous attitude trynna call somebody out.

By ATLborn

August 18, 2005 10:27 AM | Link to this

Sup blogmates

EPO I gotta disagree with you too bruh. Men and women can be platonic friends. I have several female friends that I have never tried to get at nor never will. Some I dated back in the day, but never ‘tapped’, mainly becuz while dating I felt a bond with them that was more like they were a sister. Trying anything else with them seemed gross.

I have had a few female friends that either tried to give it to me or I thought I saw signs that they wanted me to take our friendship to the next level. I don’t think that was their original intent, rather they just developed those feelings for me during the course of our friendship. Some folks will just think cuz they get along great with someone as a friend then they should prolly try an intimate relationship with them. Kinda like that ol tired saying you see on so many wedding invites/or programs…”On this day I will marry my friend”.

Some folks think just like that, they should hook up with their friend.

By Jael

August 18, 2005 10:29 AM | Link to this

Good morning…

I somewhat agree with EPO and the fellas… I met my parachute when he attempted to hit on me at a friend’s bday party –using such a lame line that we both cracked up laughing. We went out a few times but romance was not in the equation, so friends we became. For years my “parachute� would compare most women he met or dated to me… Being the diva that I am I took it as a compliment until one day we were doing some work around my house with my homeboy who pointed out that my “parachute� wanted me for more than a friend. I thought he was crazy because we tried that and it didn’t work and we’ve been friends forever- we’ve slept in beds together, shared a house togerher, seen each other at our worst, I couldn’t fathom the thought of romance with him. However his comment caused me to begin noticing my GP’s actions around me and thought my homie might be right. I didn’t want to lose my friend so I decided we should double date more instead of he and I going solo, hanging out like a couple. That didn’t work too well with most of his dates or mine…there was always friction (hilarious, as I think about it)… we weathered the storm because we knew those knuckle heads wouldn’t be there for us. My buddy, my best friend, my Golden Parachute has been my friend most of my adult life… we’ve gone thru the fire and back! We’ve been there for each other thru divorce, cheating spouses, kids going crazy, death of a parent, thru horrible dates, to no dates, basically thru life. I can’t imagine not having my rock- thought he’s working my nerves dating these TAN women as of late but I couldn’t ask for a greater guy to be in my life. Sometimes that works to my advantage having him as my GP and sometimes it works against me…

Aaaah hell, I’ve been a witch lately. I’m going to call him now…

By Ivy

August 18, 2005 10:29 AM | Link to this

LOL..just a quick question…..Milesman, how is a man buying a woman a drink or yapping to her on the phone an attempt at courting her?

By East Point's Own

August 18, 2005 10:29 AM | Link to this

Ignatius Well I am being extreme… I mean there are no absolutes in life but I say 98.5% of the time platonic is a farse. There was, is or bill be some attraction on behalf of one party or more. I know that somewhere on some corner of the earth there is a successful strictly platonic relationship, you are probably just the guy I’m talkin about. But most folks, I mean the vast majority are not capable of such a relationship.

I have seen “when platonic relationships go bad” and it happens eventually in 998.5 of 1000 platonic relationships. So I generalize and just say it ain’t possible. I gotta agree with milesman, many women take advantage of these guys some knowingly, and others may be unaware but these ladies are using these dudes for their own benefit.

By Miss Atl

August 18, 2005 10:31 AM | Link to this

Milesman- is this hitting home?

By Ivy

August 18, 2005 10:31 AM | Link to this

Also, Miles, were/are you a nice guy that’s been exploited?

By MissUnderstood

August 18, 2005 10:32 AM | Link to this

Sounds to me like guys are being nice just to get some and when they don’t then the ladies are just using them. The table turns both ways. You get a woman who’s nice, not b!tchy, will not embarrass your behind in public, and somethings wrong with her.

By Ivy

August 18, 2005 10:35 AM | Link to this

Oh ATL, I forgot to tell you, that book is mine. It’s been over a year and you never claimed it so that’s how the cookie crumbles. Thanks a bunch.

By MissUnderstood

August 18, 2005 10:35 AM | Link to this

Tray- I will I have been very good for the last two days. I get to see the doc tomorrow for my follow up. Not looking forward to that. I’m still sore and from time to time it still hurts, not in the mood for poking and prodding. lol

By ATLborn

August 18, 2005 10:36 AM | Link to this

Sup Shuga mama! We’ve talked about this before w/ u so I won’t address some of yo male friends. lol

BI - No we do not think w/ our dings. They are just our strategic consultants that we listen to the vast majority of the time cuz they know what’s best.

By Pecan

August 18, 2005 10:37 AM | Link to this

@MissU—Got yr message. Misplaced yr number, call me at work

By divine1

August 18, 2005 10:38 AM | Link to this

Morning Iggy :)

By Ivy

August 18, 2005 10:39 AM | Link to this

Scorned……talk to your son w/ all realness and honesty or else you may be a grandma before you are ready. You should sit down w/ both him and the female neighbor and have a talk. Not sure if you’ve done that yet…….don’t be mad at him, just know that you know what’s up and make sure he’s aware of it too. Good thing you came home or it might have been on for the two of them. Also, talk to your 10yr old because he may have witnessed some things and might try to emulate what his big bro’ was doing.

By aggressively witty

August 18, 2005 10:40 AM | Link to this

Ignatius, agree completely. Reading EPO’s post I found myself with the uncomfortable realization of my own age. In other words as I have grown older the idea of male-female friendship has grown up. No longer is the idea of these non-sexual relationships a thing of myth.

I do think that the ability to have these, from a mans point of view, has a great deal to do with how he was raised, and his willingness to put those best practices into play when dealing with the opposite sex.

By ATLborn

August 18, 2005 10:42 AM | Link to this

LOL@ Ivy How u gon stick my for my book Ivy? Thought we were fam. That’s aiight though, I know the Eatzi’s you like to shop at. I’ll just get my folks there to put some ‘special’ ingredients in yo next order. lol

By East Point's Own

August 18, 2005 10:45 AM | Link to this

ATLBorn I am not saying both parties have to have an attraction. In your case you said yourself thatr some of the chick tried you so in that case they are the ones who wanted more. I never said that the man has to give in, a man has just as much a right to turn down an offer.

By aggressively witty

August 18, 2005 10:50 AM | Link to this

LOL @ her song playing cuba gooding and the gal next door being Nia long. Scorned, your best bet is to buy dude some condoms, show him how to use them and hope that he does. cause regardless of what you do, them kids gonna find a way or make a way to do what they know feels good.

By DasKrait2

August 18, 2005 10:51 AM | Link to this

Good Morning ALL,

have no GP, whatever for? Have had female friends I would discuss relationship(not them) with, if that is GP? did not view them as a fallback..

Do NOT agree that the men cannot have female friends they are not sleeping with. Have had many female friends I would NOT want to be sleeping with. Could say maybe it is an age thing but it seems some of the youngsters here have the same view, that true platonic does exist..

but then if your mind is in your pants, that MIGHT be true.(that no man can be simply FRIENDS with a woman)

and this morning I wanted this to be Friday, getting to be a weekly event Thursday morning.chuckle

By Jael

August 18, 2005 10:52 AM | Link to this

Dang… yall been busy! Amazing what refresh will reveal! Okay, reading to catch up

By Ivy

August 18, 2005 10:53 AM | Link to this

LOL @ ATL……..Oooooooo, uhn uhn. that’s not nice. Actually, tomorrow is my last day here. I’m moving back to our Buckhead location so I will be visiting my favorite Eatzi’s more often. This one at Perimeter just can’t touch the Buckhead location. I think my first day back, I’ll head over ther and get some of those wonderful fresh baked cookies and one of their pasta dishes. So, yeah tell your friend to hook me up….not w/ that kind of hook up, but the hook up on the shrimp pasta…..a few extra pieces of shrimp will be fine.

By East Point's Own

August 18, 2005 10:54 AM | Link to this

Question So if you and this person are so close and have such a bond why aren’t you a couple? It seems to me that this would be the perfect person for you to date.

aggressively witty At some level just about all male - female relationships begin due to an attraction of some sort no matter how small it may be. And age has nothing to do with it. Older guys may fall victim to the imaginary platonic relationships as well. I think you are correct to a degree, maybe not so much as to how you are raised but to your personality and character. But like I said before nothing is impossible, but 998.5 of 1000 times somebody wants to holla or at least test drive somebody in the relationship. I see grown married men who are seemingly faithful to their wives have platonic freinds… but you can tell from their actions and comments when no women are around that they would still hit it if they would not feel guilty afterwards for cheating.

By DasKrait2

August 18, 2005 10:54 AM | Link to this

IVY IVY IVY IVY…….ATL’s been trying to get his book back for how long now?

why I do not loan books, they seem to never make it back on my bookshelf, which is why I have them in the first place.

By East Point's Own

August 18, 2005 10:57 AM | Link to this

the paper today has a story about a lady in France who hid in the men’s choir and crept up on the minister from behind and cut his throat, I bet that was a not so “platonic” friendship gone bad…LoL

By ATLborn

August 18, 2005 10:57 AM | Link to this

EPO - But you are saying ‘give in’. In my case that wasn’t even considered. To be in a position to ‘give in’, some part of you must have wanted to ‘give’ in the first place.

And I said a ‘few’ female friends wanted to, not all. I have been the GP for many of my female friends they nor I have ever wanted an intimate relationship with the other. Platonic relationships between straight males and females are very possible and their are many out there.

By DasKrait2

August 18, 2005 10:57 AM | Link to this

can we all shame IVY into FedExing that book to ATL at lunch time today?

Hope FedEx doesn’t sue. Did you hear about the guy who has a web-site, showing how he had made sturdy furniture out of FedEx mailing cartons? FedEx tried to shut his site down, but his lawyer disagreed. LOL

By QC

August 18, 2005 11:01 AM | Link to this

Hey Pecan ugh GP = Girl Power?

By East Point's Own

August 18, 2005 11:02 AM | Link to this

I guess old age affects comprehension skills… LoL

I ain’t said that men and women can’t be friends without sleeping together. I just said that on some level there is some sort of attraction on behalf of one of the folks involved. Either sexual or wanting a monogamous relationship. And 9 times out of 10 that’s the reason that you met in the first place was because somebody was tryina holla, in some fashion maybe you just didn’t notice a subtle attempt at holla’n.

By ATLborn

August 18, 2005 11:03 AM | Link to this

Ivy - Shrimp pasta okay. That comes with a thick sauce right…perfect! I’ll tell her to hook u right on up. :) W/ a few extra pieces of shrimp that is. lol

I ain’t been to Eatzi’s in a long time. Since they changed their menu it has never been right with me. They got rid of the beef and chicken skewers I liked and they rarely have trout to grill. Then they changed the Caesar’s dressing they used and it’s nasty now. Only thing they got that I am still crazy about are the oatmeal raisen cookies.
Since I havent’ been in so long I’m not sure if they still offer them.

By Suga&Spice

August 18, 2005 11:03 AM | Link to this

EPO-I actually asked most of them at question and only 1 said he would sleep with me if given the opportunity. His reasoning, ‘I’d just like to see what its like.’ I was so amazed

By Wise Diva

August 18, 2005 11:03 AM | Link to this

LOL @ milesman. We were both dating other people when we met. Thanks for asking for clarification before the assumption of triflingness.

By Pecan

August 18, 2005 11:04 AM | Link to this

@QC—-Mornin!! How ya doin?

By MissUnderstood

August 18, 2005 11:07 AM | Link to this

Pecan- I think Ima send a spy to my office to see what’s going on.

By ATLborn

August 18, 2005 11:08 AM | Link to this

Thanks for your support Das! LOL

Then to add insult to injury, Ivy has never even read the book. lol

By East Point's Own

August 18, 2005 11:08 AM | Link to this

Ok maybe folks are not reading my entire posts..

ATLborn re-read my 10:45 post. I said that you did not have to ever want to give in to her and that a man in a platonic relationship has just as much right to turn down the chick’s advances.

What I was saying basically is that in most, close to al platonic relationships at least one party wants more. It can be the man or woman, both parties do not have to want more, but I can almost gurantee that at least one person would like to go farther. It can be the man or the woman, but the other party does not have to give in either party can be the refuser.

By Suga&Spice

August 18, 2005 11:08 AM | Link to this

Atl I agree. You and I have a nice platonic friendship!

By Buzzworthy

August 18, 2005 11:10 AM | Link to this

I’ve never had a true GP. Like EPO says most guys I’ve tried to be friends with have wanted to take it further. As I’ve progressed in my adult years, my father has filled that role for me. We can talk about anything. He held my hand when I went through my “I’m not dating brothers anymore phase.� I listened to him when he griped about the counseling my mom made him go to. He always says something to boost my self esteem when I’m feeling down. It works for me and it’s a very safe relationship. He’s my dad so I know there are no ulterior (sp?) motives.

The platonic friendships that have worked for me are the ones that have some sort of natural barrier. For example, we can’t date because we are co-workers, or you’re my best friend’s boyfriend, or you live in California etc. My cousin who is 2 weeks older than me and I have a really great platonic relationship too. If there is no natural barrier to the progression of the friendship into the romantic zone, 9 times out 10 it will go there.

By East Point's Own

August 18, 2005 11:12 AM | Link to this

Suga&Spice I hope you did not expect them to all come out of the closet??? You just gave that one his chance to go for it.. LOL he jumped on it and said might as well go for it…LoL

When is the test drive scheduled for???

By QC

August 18, 2005 11:12 AM | Link to this

i’m doing well Pecan just real busy that’s all & tyring to keep up with this blog today…

By abc

August 18, 2005 11:13 AM | Link to this

I think that to have control of your sexuality is an issue of morality and character. The assumption that most people would need only opportunity to become intimate with platonic friends is false. The notion that age would play a factor may well be true in many cases, but not the majority — I’m sure it’s difficult for younger people to grasp that older people like me (I’m 47) are, at their core, still the same people they were when they were younger.

Frankly, I find the idea of uncontrollable sexuality more than a little weird!

By MissHeavenSong

August 18, 2005 11:13 AM | Link to this

Ok bloggers what is a gp?

By Scorned

August 18, 2005 11:15 AM | Link to this

Aggressive My GP said the same thing. Teach him how to wrap it up, because it is gonna happen eventually if it already hasn’t.

Ivy We’ve had the talk hundreds of times. I will talk to the girl, before mentioning it to her parents.

On topic: I kinda sorta agree with there is always the attraction in back of your mind. I have thought about what it would be like to get with my GP. I would probably marry if him, if he asked, but that feeling comes from him being an emotional support system for me. I think men and women are attracted by nature after spending tons amounts of time together. It just happens.

By DasKrait2

August 18, 2005 11:16 AM | Link to this

@ATL - de nada. I also have a thing about books, some of the most precious items….

@EPO - come again? LMAO (HUH?)

By MissUnderstood

August 18, 2005 11:16 AM | Link to this

If your definition of friend is just that and nothing more, then it will work. As long as you have that in the back of your mind something could happen, then its doomed from the begining.

By DasKrait2

August 18, 2005 11:18 AM | Link to this

@MHS - and who did you use to be, again?

GP - read title line above:GOLDEN PARACHUTES

By ATLborn

August 18, 2005 11:20 AM | Link to this

EPO - Naw, no need to re-read it. You are now saying that it is rare for both parties to only want a platonic relationship. I’m saying it is not. I agree with you that in many of these friendships, that is the case but I can not say it is in all of them.

Now I agree that in the vast majority of the time when a guy has tried to holla at a woman, then hooking up with her is his intention. He’ll play the friend role or whatever to get what he wants eventually. The true measure of a platonic friendship is how the friendship developed.

I don’t know of any guy that has seen a woman in a club and has said “dayuum, she looks like she can be a really good friend. lemme holla at her”. Friendships that develop out of a guy tryna holla at a woman usually are only an avenue for the guy to bide his time until he can get in.

But many male-female relationships develop honestly. Could be someone you had close proximity at church, work, school, etc and a friendship naturally developed.

By MissUnderstood

August 18, 2005 11:22 AM | Link to this

lmao@EPO- test drive, unless Suga herself is curious, I doubt the gear will move to drive. lol

Yall got me laughing and it hurts to laugh. STOP. lol

By ATLborn

August 18, 2005 11:23 AM | Link to this

LOL @ Suga, yep we sure do.

By East Point's Own

August 18, 2005 11:25 AM | Link to this

abc It no so much just an opprotunity. What I am saying is that many times platonic friends are waitng specifically for an opprotunity and it not always jsut about sex, sometimes its an opprotunity to have a relationship. These folks have control of their sexuality… and many time a whole lot of control to sit and wait for years to have an opprotunity to try to make an advance. That requires more control than I have.

It seems that some folks are reading what they want to read out of posts today. We are not talking about friends having sex with friends we are generally speaking about friendships. I am not speaking about the intentions of what folks want I just mean that one person wants more than the other wheter it be sex, a kiss, or marriage is not the point today.

By Wise Diva

August 18, 2005 11:26 AM | Link to this

GP = GOLDEN PARACHUTE

I am not sure how exploitation comes into play. If you are friends, its give and take, isn’t it?

Are you only friends with people because of what they can do for you?

By Scorned

August 18, 2005 11:26 AM | Link to this

abc It is all about self control, and age plays a huge part in that. I’m 37 and I have learned to look past the feelings at hand and make a more logical decision.

By aggressively witty

August 18, 2005 11:27 AM | Link to this

LOL @ imaginary platonic friendships. If aint no sex going down its platonic.

Also I think the definition, here i go with semantics again, of the word is lost on some of us.

Platonic means transcending sexual desire, solely intellectual or emotional.

So you could very well be a platonic friend with someone you have smashed. Once the sex is over and done with and the broad is still around long enough for you to have an emotional and intellectual bond, isnt that platonic?

By MissUnderstood

August 18, 2005 11:30 AM | Link to this

I have always believed that these type of relationships could exists, just haven’t really been in one. Well in the begining it was one, but non the less, they can work, it’s just a matter of the ppl involved. My ex use to say that everyone thinks about it, but only a few will admit to it. Me, I think that’s a weak minded excuse to dive into a fling. Unless it’s twitching, “it” is the last thing on my mind.

By MissHeavenSong

August 18, 2005 11:31 AM | Link to this

DK2 i never said who i “use to be”

By MistaO

August 18, 2005 11:33 AM | Link to this

Yawl making a lot of real good arguments on both fronts, however, the point made about women doing this “just friends” thing for the residual benefits, while knowing full well the dude is jones’n is too true.

And dudes who fall for this need to have their butts used as far as I’m concerned. Remember, women game much harder than the average dude and game recognizes. That’s why I aint never get caught up like this.

If a chickadee tells you she just wanna be friends, man just move on and do it quick b4 you fall for the okey doke. I don’t wanna come off as to cynical but I mean every chick I know, even chicks I work with and just cool with always making sexual comments and tryin to touch. And these broads know a brother aint looking. I just say that to say if a broad aint feeling you, you need to push on and quit telling yourself “keep hope alive” cause she just felling someone else.

By DasKrait2

August 18, 2005 11:35 AM | Link to this

@MHS - yes, I know you did not. Several have asked. WHY I ASKED.

By MissUnderstood

August 18, 2005 11:37 AM | Link to this

Naw aggy, u keep forgetting, once you enter the love box, you gotta stay around for a spell. Can’t just eat and run.(no pun intended)

Once men conquer, they move on to the next conquest. Not all men, just those waiting a sistah out. This is when things get complicated, thus deception, hurt feelings, dawg she crazy. Well lets take a look at why he thinks she’s crazy……

By MissHeavenSong

August 18, 2005 11:37 AM | Link to this

Let us all remember to participate in a 2 minute moment of silence @ 1pm for all the soldiers who’ve died in this war, and for the safe return of those still there, & hopefully this war will be over soon.

By East Point's Own

August 18, 2005 11:38 AM | Link to this

Wise Diva I can’t say its str8 up exploitation cause you are not forcing the other party to stick around. But in many cases there is clearly one person who is more needy and and the other person sticks around and lets you cry on their shoulder and talk about this and that, and go here and there.. but the only reason they do it is to be close to you. They don’t really get much out of the deal but time with you, and the hope that they can get more at some point.

By Tray

August 18, 2005 11:39 AM | Link to this

hey speaking of parachutes, Wise were you going sky diving with someone else on the board? did y’all ever hang your knees in the breeze?

By MissHeavenSong

August 18, 2005 11:39 AM | Link to this

DK2 I know several have asked, but i choose to keep my identity to myself for now. I’d love to share my secret with several of my “favorite bloggers” on here but i don’t if they’ll be able to keep my secret.

By mochalove

August 18, 2005 11:40 AM | Link to this

Good Morning Bloggers;)

My GP has been in my life for about three years now. Great guy…just not my type so we’ll always be “just friends.” He’s great to ask questions about the opposite sex.

By East Point's Own

August 18, 2005 11:42 AM | Link to this

ATLborn OK, well it seems we are on the same page we just disagree on the percentages.. LoL But ok.

By BlackIce

August 18, 2005 11:42 AM | Link to this

MistaO, I hope you are not negating that men do the same thing to women…

By MissUnderstood

August 18, 2005 11:42 AM | Link to this

Mista O, that will only work if dude just there to wait a sistah out. If he truly does not want a friendship, then he should move on, that way he won’t feel as if she’s used him in any way. You can be friends without the sex. Many ppl have done it. You can be friends after the sex if you can be around each other without the uncomfortable silence, which rarely happens. A lot of ppl don’t believe that sex has an emotional bond, but it does, you just don’t always want to admit what you feel.

BTW, how have you been? Good to read ya.

By Tray

August 18, 2005 11:43 AM | Link to this

yes, regardless of our pov, lets participate at 1pm…

By mochalove

August 18, 2005 11:45 AM | Link to this

@MissUnderstood- right on sis,lol (can’t eat and run)

By QC

August 18, 2005 11:45 AM | Link to this

Where is ME * MsK if y’all are lurking i’m waving hey y’all

By Jael

August 18, 2005 11:45 AM | Link to this

Amazingly MHS, the government doesn’t categorize this as war time… Indeed, we have a lot to reflect upon and pray about.

By MissUnderstood

August 18, 2005 11:45 AM | Link to this

MHS I could take a guess, I’ll shoot u and email to see if I’m right.

By Wise Diva

August 18, 2005 11:48 AM | Link to this

I punked out Tray! It was Str8 and I believe he is still planning on it. My co-workers are trying to get me to do it now (yikes)

By East Point's Own

August 18, 2005 11:49 AM | Link to this

What is it with the so called uncomfortable silence after sex with a friend? I ahev been there a few times and I have never had such a problem. If nothing else I have become closer to female friends after sex. Maybe it wasn’t as good as you expected???

Please explain why you would be uncomfortable with a good friend after sex?

By MistaO

August 18, 2005 11:53 AM | Link to this

BlackIce I don’t know too many dudes that say they have this girl who’s just a friend that I call late at night just to talk about my problems. I mean come on. If a dude going out like that he might wanna change from draws to some panties.

By Scorned

August 18, 2005 11:57 AM | Link to this

EPO With me the uncomfortable silence came with my other GP, because we were both caught off guard. Afterwards it was like “What in the h*ll did we do?” But we soon got over the uncomfortable feeling.

By Miss Atl

August 18, 2005 11:57 AM | Link to this

Epo- I would assume because you never saw that person in that way.

By MissUnderstood

August 18, 2005 12:00 PM | Link to this

Oh, it’s WAR alright. I was a part of the first one and I thank GOD that I stayed state side. I have family members that had to go overseas and it wasn’t pretty. They “debrief” you b/c they don’t want ppl to know what was really happening. I ain’t gon say they were straight lying, I’m just gon say sometimes they won’t tell the whole truth about the matter. Those kids and adults for that matter will be traumatized for some time. I was a Medic, I had to care for some of those coming home, I was in a sense someone’s GP while they were in an Army hospital having nightmares or reflecting on what they’d just gone through. I do a lot of reflecting, and when ppl complain and say Vets don’t deserve certain priviledges I remind them that they didn’t step up to the plate, someone had to and yes please be grateful cause if no one does, then what?

By HarlymGurl

August 18, 2005 12:04 PM | Link to this

Goodmorning everyone.

I was visiting ATL a few years back (like 1996) and happened to meet a brotha from Brooklyn. We exchanged numbers and would talk on the phone and hang out on a regular basis. I knew he liked me and while I was intially attracted to him as well, he was still a little too rough around the edges for me. We slipped into the friendship zone and I thought we had developed more of a brother-sister type relationship. We even slept in the same bed together on more than one occassion and he never tried anything. Well he finally finished school and bought a house down in Lithonia. My friend and I came down to kick it with him and some more friends from up here. We slept in the same bed that night as usual but then he started touching me and tellin’ me that he wanted to do all kinds of stuff to me. I told him to sleep off the liquor and we’d talk int he morning. We all kicked the weekend and had a fabulous time and I had forgotten about our little incident. When he took my friend and me to the airport I lean in his car to kiss him on the cheek and he was “yo miss yo cleavage look mad good, you a sexy MF”. I said “seriously that is so gross, you are like a brother to me”. He proceeded to tell me that I was most definitely not his sister and that he would “F” me in a heart beat if I let him! I was distraught, my friend was not sympathetic at all on our flight back home. She said I had been playing with this man’s feelings for the last 4 years and I got what I deserved. I never misled him and I was always honest with him and I explained to him in the beginning why I couldn’t go there with him. I miss having that male energy around me, I have gay friends but it’ not the same. :( But the bottom line is that it is really hard to have a platonic relationship between a man and woman. Someone is gonna catch feelings for the other person. And usually someone winds up with hurt feelings. Damn it’s hard be beautiful! LMAO

By MissUnderstood

August 18, 2005 12:07 PM | Link to this

EPO- Where do you go with your friend after sex? Do you go on like nothing has happened and you continue the same sex? Do you stop having sex and continue the same friendship? How do you define the “relationship” after sex? You’re just thrown in a FWB situation after that aren’t you?

By MistaO

August 18, 2005 12:19 PM | Link to this

Sleeping in the same bed as some cat talking about just friends. I know some people think this stuff is cute but in my book this type of behavior is a big no no. And you hear all about this date rape stuff and I just gotta wonder why some women use such poor judgement.

Friends or no friends, a women shouldn’t be jumpin up in a mans bed if’n she has no intent on bangin cause you might wake up sticky.

By MissUnderstood

August 18, 2005 12:19 PM | Link to this

@HG- I feel your pain. He was waiting you out to see if your feelings had changed. Men don’t think like us. When we say no, we mean no, not maybe or in a minute. They think when we say no it may have been for that moment only. lol

By aggressively witty

August 18, 2005 12:19 PM | Link to this

skydiving aint right, wise keep yo azz on the earth gal.

By Tazzee

August 18, 2005 12:25 PM | Link to this

afternoon all!

I don’t have a really close male friend. I do have some guys I can call if I need to - but I want a best guy friend that isn’t trying to be with me.

The pictures of the soldiers of the front page of ajc.com keep tugging at my heart.

Wise - I agree with AggieWit, no skydiving for you.

By East Point's Own

August 18, 2005 12:25 PM | Link to this

MissUnderstood That’s why we are not officially at war any longer, now the govt. does not have to pat these vets all the wartime benefits if they are hurt or killed…. This is all a huge mess, if you got folks getting shot at least give them all they are owed in return.

By Tray

August 18, 2005 12:26 PM | Link to this

oh come on Ag-wit skydivin ain’t bad, or was it ok for me since I’m not exactly the wisest one…..just giving you a hard time. off to lunch, behave!

By MissUnderstood

August 18, 2005 12:27 PM | Link to this

Friends or no friends, a women shouldn’t be jumpin up in a mans bed if’n she has no intent on bangin cause you might wake up sticky. lmao@ Mista O, Now y she gotta wake up sticky? lol

By Scorned

August 18, 2005 12:30 PM | Link to this

MissUnderstood I disagree with you on the “No” means “No” in HG’s scenario. Like MistaO stated ain’t no woman got not business in a man’s bed when she ain’t looking to give it up. Why tease a person? If she says no, then take your behind in the other room. When my husband was alive, we would have a fight, but when we went to bed if he was able to get close enough, “no” usually turned into “Yeah bring on”. But if I knew that I wasn’t feeling him, I got up and went to another room.

By cey

August 18, 2005 12:33 PM | Link to this

Wise wussup. Popped in to say hello and thangs have changed….. The Misadventures of A Wise Diva. Congrats. Got some thought provoking topics too. Keep doing big things babygirl.

By East Point's Own

August 18, 2005 12:33 PM | Link to this

MissUnderstood For the most part our friendships never deteriorated, we still hang out and do all the things we did before, some became FWB (meaning more sex after the first time) and some did not. I guess its just something that happened between us, we still hang out with the rest of our friends, its not a major life changing event usually. A couple have expressed a desire to have a relationship after such an event, I guess its like they had a crush or something and that was their chance to let me know.. but its all sorts of different ways things can play out. But I have never lost a friend after as a result of having sex with them.

By MissUnderstood

August 18, 2005 12:35 PM | Link to this

I gotta be on some serious drugs to think I can fly.lol No jumpin outta planes her.

Y is it that everytime you turn the telly on and Jerry Springers on, there are two women fighting ova some broke azz punk? The men they fight ova are TAN’s to the 10th power. Today’s topic”There’s a mistress in my house”. WTF?! I know yall I’m channel surfing, I just had to stop a look though. lol

By MissUnderstood

August 18, 2005 12:38 PM | Link to this

Scorned It’s not teasing if they know up front they ain’t getting none. I agree that you shouldn’t put yourself in that situation though. No use in stirring the milk if you ain’t trynna make butter.

By BlackIce

August 18, 2005 12:39 PM | Link to this

CEY!! Where have you been!!!! We miss you round these parts!

By MissUnderstood

August 18, 2005 12:45 PM | Link to this

EPO- So you’re still cool with the ones that wanted something more and you didn’t?

You’re right about the pay. During war our soldiers get a compensation for war time. Life insurance payouts go up and everything. This is a cheap way to cheat them outta their lives.

This man was smart enough to steal “two” elections, I would expect nothing less from him. If he did I would be disappointed.(can’t you just feel the love?)

By cey

August 18, 2005 12:46 PM | Link to this

blackice wussup ms. lady. I just been working my azz off over here. How have you been? I know I’ve missed some entertaining moments.

By HarlymGurl

August 18, 2005 12:46 PM | Link to this

@MistaO - I really felt close to this guy and mind you I had known him for more than 4 years. He wasn’t just some random dude that I met at a club and ran home with.

@MissU - Good looking girl, I couldn’t have said it better.

By QC

August 18, 2005 12:48 PM | Link to this

I’ve got to balance my report so i’ll check in later before 5pm…if not i hope everybody continue to enjoy your day MissU be still and take it easy girl…..jerry springer is like a bad accident waiting to happen

By Longtime Lurker

August 18, 2005 12:52 PM | Link to this

FYI… A GP = Bang,Bang,Bang!

Maybe not now, but eventually!

By BlackIce

August 18, 2005 12:55 PM | Link to this

Cey Busy, work school, the girls…just bought a house. I hope you are doing well man. Dont let massa work you too hard! Take care

By MissUnderstood

August 18, 2005 12:58 PM | Link to this

QC that report will stare you down girl. lol

HG- Anytime

Well folks I am coming up on my time to lay my but down. It’s been fun. I will blog 2morrow. Remember to drive safely going home.

By East Point's Own

August 18, 2005 01:00 PM | Link to this

Miss Understood Ok now its 1pm time for you to take your tail back to bed…

But Yeah I still have decent relationships with the ones who wanted more, many of them have relocated but we still talk, and a couple still want me to move closer.. but ere body knows I am going where the money takes me. That’s the only factor affecting my relocation options.

I guess I need to go to lunch now.. I’ll hollaz.

By Ignatius

August 18, 2005 01:00 PM | Link to this

Catching up..EPO I do think there is an attraction, a “what if..”, a curiosity, but that tension adds a good dynamic to a relationship. Sometimes itmeans more to both parties to know as tempting as it may be that your feelings for one another transcend the physical. I guess me and abc and some of the other quadragenarians are seeing that. LOL Speaking strictly from a male standpoint (and probably repetative at that) to me women, all women, are like works of art. They look so soft, they smell good, they have an allure peculiar to themselves, they are all like great original paintings or sculptures, each one with it’s own nuances unique unto themselves. You can have ten different people look at a painting and have ten different points of view as to what it means. You look at it from different angles, you see different colors and shades, different strokes of the brush, different textures and depth. What could possibly inspire me to take crayola crayons and cheapen an oil painting? You look at a sculpture and see a piece of rock or clay that has been shaped, smoothed, molded into something beautiful. It still has the marbling of the elements from which it came, it has been formed by the hands of it’s creator, it even has chips and scars, and it is lovely. Sometimes even a touch would deface the object. It is to enjoy, to stimulate, to inspire. Some mountains are not meant to be scaled, some rivers are not made to be crossed. Some presents are just wrapped too pretty to ever be opened. But that’s just my .02, some of the reasons I feel the way I do. It’s hard to expect respect from anyone you don’t respect first. Back to the grind.

By Scorned

August 18, 2005 01:05 PM | Link to this

Are there any men on here that was raised by a single mother?

By DasKrait2

August 18, 2005 01:07 PM | Link to this

you know at least one of the manufacturers of electronic voting machines is a strong Republican supporter? The CEO of one, BEFORE the 2004 election stated he ‘Guaranteed a Bush Ohio win”. …coincidentally his company’s machines used in Ohio?

“He who cast the vote decides nothing. He who counts the vote decides everything” Joseph Stalin

it stinks

@MHS - gotcha. just re-read thurs/fri. you/2 got into it.

By aggressively witty

August 18, 2005 01:15 PM | Link to this

I was. I grew up in DC, we all were, cept for maybe 14 of them.

By Suga&Spice

August 18, 2005 01:19 PM | Link to this

Finally got a chance to get back in here.

EPO-I was gonna comment but figured whats the point

By Scorned

August 18, 2005 01:20 PM | Link to this

Did you take to heart what you mother taught being a woman?

By MistaO

August 18, 2005 01:29 PM | Link to this

Agreed - man I wish those cats (and ladies) overseas could come home and soon. What stinks even more is the fact that we now control (well somewhat) control Iraq and I’m still getting hit for close to 3 bills a gallon at the pump.

Yea I know they said we aint go for the oil, but everything else was stories so why not pump that crude and get us back to 99 cents a gallon. Holla!

Voting machines - another farce. Heck who could ever have been sure that our votes are really counted anyways. I mean I vote but sad to say that typically the only reason why I go is due to the historical struggle and what our people gave up for us to be able to vote. For real, that’s the only reason I go to the polls. Most of the politicians and issues are full of you know what anyhow and most are corrupt to the nth degree.

By Kelly Garrett

August 18, 2005 01:33 PM | Link to this

Hey QC I saw you waving at me earlier chica! I got a new name to go with my new attitude.

By East Point's Own

August 18, 2005 01:49 PM | Link to this

Ignatius I understand your point… maybe as we get older some folks lose thier drive and greed to get have a piece of all of those beautiful works of art, lose the desire to attempt to scale those mountains and attempt to cross those rivers. But that does not mean that you don’t want to.. you may not act on your feelings of admiration, but still the relationship is based on an attraction toward the beautiful works of art. I understand your point of view, its just that your desire not to pursue the things that you admire is overpowered by knowing your wife will whoopp you azzzz…and then take half LoL.

By Ivy

August 18, 2005 01:53 PM | Link to this

Ok, back from lunch. LMAO……. DasK, I’mma get you. Now you know I can’t be shamed into doing anything.

I have had that book in my car on our last 3-4 outings. ATL never shows until after I leave, so that’s his fault.

On the sauce, ATL, I normally get the tomato basil over the penne pasta w/ shrimp, sauteed veggies and mushrooms and sundried tomatoes. It’s delicious.

Oh and you’re right, I still haven’t read it. But, since it’s mine now…. I will read it after I finish reading ‘Genevieve’ by Eric Jerome Dickey……it’s my co-worker’s book that I need to finish before tomorrow or I will have to inter-office mail it back to her.

By Ignatius

August 18, 2005 01:57 PM | Link to this

EPO they take more than half. LOL

By Ivy

August 18, 2005 01:58 PM | Link to this

Alright, Scorned. Keep us posted. It’s good that you are going to talk to the young girl before going to her parents. Try not to point blame, just ask her what’s really up and let her know you feel/felt disrespected that they were in your home, in your living room trynna get down, especially w/ your 10yr old immediately in the next room.

By Ivy

August 18, 2005 02:03 PM | Link to this

Yuck, Mr. O….that was nasty. (waking up sticky)….now, that is the devil. Oh my!

By DasKrait2

August 18, 2005 02:05 PM | Link to this

EPO - it is not that we want to ignore all those fine-pieces-of-art, it is more we get more selective about what KIND of fine-pieces-of-art..LOL (only got so much space on the wall, ya know)

By Daskrait2

August 18, 2005 02:07 PM | Link to this

LOL @ IVY - yeah, that is why I thought the use of the word so funny(and I did)

By divine1

August 18, 2005 02:15 PM | Link to this

Okay I know who MHS is ……Hey there SP. :)

By QC

August 18, 2005 02:23 PM | Link to this

Kelly Garrett aka MsK hey girl how ya, i did’nt know you were KG ok so where is ME maybe he will show up sooner or later, if i could’ve thought of the 3rd angels name maybe i would’ve taken it…oh well…u r so right MissU this report is making sleepy but so far i’m still balancing….

By divine1

August 18, 2005 02:23 PM | Link to this

Scorned were you formerly 2amazu?

By MissHeavenSong

August 18, 2005 02:26 PM | Link to this

Ms Divine One nope i’m not SP if someone does guess i have something for you

By DasKrait2

August 18, 2005 02:29 PM | Link to this

were those the real Angels name? in the TV series/movie? never knew. knew the ACTRESSES names, oh ya, just not their character names. Sabrina, etc.

oh divine1, meant to say thanks for the Charlie info last week, NEVER would have gotten it. no, don’t think SP back. (but I’ll never tell, its a secret you know..LOL)

By East Point's Own

August 18, 2005 02:30 PM | Link to this

maybe I’m slow but Miss HeavenSong reminds me of Mia.

By MistaO

August 18, 2005 02:30 PM | Link to this

Scorned A, yo I don’t know the whole story but I’d vote against speaking to the girl before speaking to the parents. I’d flip a nut if someone spoke to my child about something so sensitive/serious before bringing it to my attention.

I’d suggest bringing it to the parents attention and let them address it with the child. They should know and I hope they would appreciate you stepping forward to speak with them. But be careful cause some ignant parents out here go immediately on the defensive. You might wanna call um vs. face to face.

By MissHeavenSong

August 18, 2005 02:32 PM | Link to this

MissU, i’ve answered your question so check your mail.

By divine1

August 18, 2005 02:33 PM | Link to this

MistaO - LOL @ waking up sticky I have slept in the same bed some of my male friends and nothing happened.

By DasKrait2

August 18, 2005 02:36 PM | Link to this

“if someone does guess i have something for you”

sounds like the CIA, when security is breached…LMAO

or the mob “Ya, I gutza sumptin’ for ya, righta hera”

By DC Native

August 18, 2005 02:38 PM | Link to this

flip a nut and wake up sticky lmao

By divine1

August 18, 2005 02:39 PM | Link to this

MHS - Are you BabyKitty? QS2? LD? RC?

By MissHeavenSong

August 18, 2005 02:40 PM | Link to this

EPO good answer but you’re wrong.

By MistaO

August 18, 2005 02:42 PM | Link to this

Divine1 Hey that’s nice, they must be nice guys. Or maybe you just hit?!? Naw I’m just kiddin I’m sure your a hot chickadee :)

Naw they must be nice guys and that’s cool but I’ve had some friends sleep in my bed too, but the next day they wuddnt no friend no more. I have control and act like I got some sense (most of the time) but I can’t see sleeping next to some heavenly treat and not coming up (no pun intended), yes it was. Smile!

By Ivy

August 18, 2005 02:44 PM | Link to this

Mr. O…….do you have children? Being a woman, formerly a young girl, it’s more than appropriate for her to speak to the young girl first. I would have spoken to her right then, but since she was very upset about finding her son and their neighbor, it’s best that she sent her on home. It’s not to say, don’t talk to the parents at all but speaking w/ her first about her concerns is the more appropriate thing to do, IMHO, of course. Now obviously her parents were either not home either or maybe even possibly unconcerned with her whearabouts because at almost 9pm on a school night, she should have been at home preparing for the next day, not at some young man’s house when his mom wasn’t home getting her groove on. I do think her parents should be made aware of what went on but after talking to the girl to hear her side of things.

By MissHeavenSong

August 18, 2005 02:45 PM | Link to this

Divine One hmmmmm?

By Jael

August 18, 2005 02:49 PM | Link to this

Ivy, what side of things? LOL That’s funny, What sides are available to explain getting caught with a hand in your cookie jar?

By Tray

August 18, 2005 02:52 PM | Link to this

I thought MHS was PB, guess not.

By divine1

August 18, 2005 02:54 PM | Link to this

@Mista O - There were times when I may have felt something in my back but I just chalked it up to them being asleep and not having control. The fact is that they did not try to take it further.

By Jael

August 18, 2005 02:54 PM | Link to this

LMAO @ Divine, did you forget anyone?

By DC Native

August 18, 2005 02:54 PM | Link to this

Scorned I think that you should talk to the parents of the girl with your son and the girl present. If you are not comfortable with that, then talk to the girl and your son together then talk to her parents. I have to commend you for taking an active role in this. My sister-in-law has all of the signs right in front of her about her 13 year old being sexually active and chooses to look the other way.

By MissHeavenSong

August 18, 2005 02:54 PM | Link to this

Divine One, no i’m neither of the 3 you mentioned, well chica’s & chico’s my 7am-3pm shift has come to an end. WD once again you did good with your topic, hopefully friday’s topic will be better than the others. Have a great evening and i will blog tomorrow.

By MissHeavenSong

August 18, 2005 02:54 PM | Link to this

Divine One, no i’m neither of the 3 you mentioned, well chica’s & chico’s my 7am-3pm shift has come to an end. WD once again you did good with your topic, hopefully friday’s topic will be better than the others. Have a great evening and i will blog tomorrow.

By abc

August 18, 2005 02:58 PM | Link to this

I’m not up on the platonic-in-bed thing, if I was outta guest rooms I’d give ‘em my room and take the couch. Like O says, once ya hit the sheets well, there goes all my morality and character and all!

By brooknaw

August 18, 2005 02:59 PM | Link to this

mhs= cee

By Ivy

August 18, 2005 03:02 PM | Link to this

Her side as to why she would disrespect Scorned’s home by having potential relations w/ her son. I would also question where were her parents and whether or not they were aware that she was out that late? I know you know that I know that their isn’t a “side” when his hands were in her pants; however, I would still have spoken w/ the young lady first. Since it happened last night and she’s (Scorned) had time to cool off whatever she chooses to do whether talk to the girl, her parents, neither or both….it’s ultimately her final decision. I’m just interested in hearing the outcome.

By MissHeavenSong

August 18, 2005 03:04 PM | Link to this

brooknaw No i’m not Cee

By divine1

August 18, 2005 03:05 PM | Link to this

@MHS - I think you may be our girl BabyKitty. Fess up, if you are ….

@Mr. O - They are nice guys and respect our friendship. Now how did you manage to get your friends to go beyond that point. What are your techniques that you are able to get beyond the barriers? Do you have the DOL (d—- of life)that no woman can resist it when it’s at full power? I’m just curious……

By MistaO

August 18, 2005 03:06 PM | Link to this

Ivy Yea when it happend she could have questioned both of them but going any deeper than that should be handled by the parents. And I bet your statement that the parents probably didn’t know or care about her where abouts is more likely the case than not.

Hate to knock that young mans hustle though then again I’d hate to see him get caught up with a child or some disease being so young and all. But she should holler at the parents first. They need to know what’s going on too.

By ichiban coco gin

August 18, 2005 03:07 PM | Link to this

for all neo-soul, acid jazz, funk, afrobeat, deep house, downtempo, vintage soul..go here

24/7 mix…HOT!! http://projectvibe.net/listen.php#ondemand

By divine1

August 18, 2005 03:09 PM | Link to this

MHS - CSC??? Rhys? Simone?

BTW, brooknaw Sabrina Duncan = Cee

Where is Carrington?

By Jael

August 18, 2005 03:10 PM | Link to this

As a parent I would want to know where my child is and what he’s doing. Agreed Scorn should nip this in the bud TODAY… I wouldn’t be so sure that this is the first time, but one could wager it probably won’t be the last- get the parents involved before it happens at her house and Scorn’s son becomes the villan! I’m sure her parents wouldn’t be so nice!

By Wise Diva

August 18, 2005 03:11 PM | Link to this

Thanks cey! I miss reading ya man!

Thanks MHS! I think I know who you are! wink

By QC

August 18, 2005 03:12 PM | Link to this

i need a break

By Longtime Lurker

August 18, 2005 03:13 PM | Link to this

I don’t know about y’all, but Scorned should be happy her son had his hands down some girl’s pants,instead of some guy’s pants. That would be tragic!

Okay, back to lurkville..

By Tray

August 18, 2005 03:16 PM | Link to this

ok everyone I will show my butt to each and everyone of ya

MHS is…..drum roll please, ………can you handle it…….here we go………..really………..A nice person!

By MistaO

August 18, 2005 03:18 PM | Link to this

Divine1

A, I aint gone say all that. I don’t really know?!? But what I do know is that I’m batting 1000 in that area. I think they all knew what they were getting in to (again no pun intended), when they got in my bed or me in theirs. No magic involved and no tricks and I bet if your “friends” had any polish at all to their game you’d been flipped.

By divine1

August 18, 2005 03:19 PM | Link to this

OOOOOO Wise Diva - I wanna know. I have been trying to figure out who it is and can’t. I guess it’s back to the drawing board. BTW, You keep on making me proud with all these wonderful posts.

By divine1

August 18, 2005 03:20 PM | Link to this

Scorned - Are you 2amazu?

By aggressively witty

August 18, 2005 03:21 PM | Link to this

7 am - 3pm shift, yall so stepid

MHS = Flawda Evans!

By divine1

August 18, 2005 03:23 PM | Link to this

@Mista O - Fortunately for me, I have a lot of male friends who taught me learn the game.

By Jael

August 18, 2005 03:23 PM | Link to this

LL, you’re right about that but I’m sure she doesn’t want her house to be known for such promiscuous activities.

By Charlie

August 18, 2005 03:26 PM | Link to this

Afternoon all.. Just got in and it looks like I missed a good one. Tried to catch up, but this will be night time reading if anything.

On subject, most of, or about 80% of my friends are women. I ain’t looking for squat, but nice conversation, nice meal, or whatever. I just prefer to have women friends versus men friends. Now to find a woman friend that loves her some sports and can breakdown a defense or draw up a play or two then sheeeit we can hang out. Anyways, just my .02 worth. Hollar atcha all..

Hugs to my Angels.. Hola Wise One…

By 2 can play that game

August 18, 2005 03:27 PM | Link to this

hey y’all…..can you believe they’ve been making me work around here???? the nerve of these folks….thought I was s’posed to just show up and get paid……

By Wise Diva

August 18, 2005 03:28 PM | Link to this

LOL @ Flawda Evans!

dayum, dayum dayuuuum! Not James!

Thanks Divine1 ! You are so kind to say that. Oh, I would be willing to spill who it is for a home cooked meal from your gifted catering hands. LOL

By brooknaw

August 18, 2005 03:30 PM | Link to this

gotcha divine

By QC

August 18, 2005 03:30 PM | Link to this

LMAO @ Aggwitt “Flawda Evans”

By Longtime Lurker

August 18, 2005 03:31 PM | Link to this

Jael, I would rather have my kid at home vs. some alley,car,etc.

Not saying that it is right for him to be making out in the house,but at least he is not out in the streets and he is definitely not making out with no guys.

I say the experience of him getting caught is enough for him. Coming up, my worst fear was getting caught by one of my parents.

I can assure Scorned that he will be fine after this episode.

By Wise Diva

August 18, 2005 03:33 PM | Link to this

Greetings Charlie!

By Charlie

August 18, 2005 03:35 PM | Link to this

shooot, I thought I put in there “if they give me some, that’s fine, if they don’t that’s cool too.

By E

August 18, 2005 03:35 PM | Link to this

LMAO @ Agg Witt and Flawda Evans

By Scorned

August 18, 2005 03:35 PM | Link to this

Divine No I am not 2amazu.

This is a very delicate matter the more I think about it. I don’t know where her parents were. And I didn’t bother to ask why she was even there, because I could see why she was there. This girl is 17 and will turn 18 before my son turns 17. They spent a lot of time together this summer and that’s why I kept telling him his feeling for this girl was going to change. But he kept trying to ensure me that there was nothing between them.

I think a phone call will be appropiate to bring up the issue and then I will suggest that we all sit down talk about it.

If I make it to work in the morning without hurting someone I will let you all know what went down with her parents.

By QC

August 18, 2005 03:39 PM | Link to this

Hey 2 i was wondering where you were, besides working are you having a good day? where is Sir Carrington

By Jael

August 18, 2005 03:45 PM | Link to this

Scorn, I’m sure you all will be fine. all the best with you on this. I’ll be waiting to read from you…

By 2 can play that game

August 18, 2005 03:54 PM | Link to this

QC, can’t complain….just hectic, that’s all…

By East Point's Own

August 18, 2005 03:54 PM | Link to this

scorned Although its not a good situation I must agree with Longtime Lurker. At the house he won’t get locked up and its relatively safe. I know the thought of it is not something you like, but maybe you need to talk to him about the whole sex thing and then tell him to make sure that in the future you never run into the chicks at the house… ( and keep the action in his room, LoL). But nothing you say is going to stop him and her or another chick from getting down, but at least you can keep him out of jail and keep him from getting mugged in some park or alley trying to get some.

Ands I’m gonna have to say good bye to you all, time to head to the house.

By QC

August 18, 2005 03:56 PM | Link to this

Allright y’all i’m signing off for today, be safe and have a good night…

By Longtime Lurker

August 18, 2005 03:57 PM | Link to this

Scorned, if it makes you feel better, I have a true story to tell ya..

When I was 12, my parents were having a house built,so we had a friend that had a full house in their basement. They invited us to live there, for like two month’s, because my parents had to sell the old house to get additional money for the new house.

Long story short, I was 12 and often my folks would go off and play cards with the their friends who owned the house we were staying in.Their daughter,who was 16 used to watch me and my younger sister, when they left,which was often.

For about a month, their daughter would talk about how cute I was and wear skimpy clothes around me, when everyone was gone and when she watched me and my sister.At 12, I looked 16. Well one day, after about 6 or 7 missed efforts, she made a pass at me and I lost my virginity.

The moral of the story is this,those kids know what they are doing and if they want to be together, they are going to be together,regardless of what you or her parent’s say to either of your kids.

All you can do is enforce the “safe sex” rule and hope he applies it everytime he is around her or any other female.

By 2 can play that game

August 18, 2005 03:59 PM | Link to this

Damn…..crystal meth is the crack of the new millinium….”The average user can stay high for 12 hours using just a gram. Women use it, Price said, because it gives them energy and allows them to lose weight. Men use the drug to boost their sexual performance and pleasure.”

By divine1

August 18, 2005 04:02 PM | Link to this

@Wise Diva - Consider it done. How does this sound: My famous 7-cheese Macaroni pie, honey orange glazed chicken breast and sauteed baby onions with french cut green beans, followed by Divine’s spectacular Rum Cake? Will that get me the answer I’m looking for????

By ichiban coco gin

August 18, 2005 04:06 PM | Link to this

@D1, all that would get you my paycheck!!!!…dayum the strip club…lol, and you are single…we need to slap the ish out of all the busta’s who broke your heart…..lol…dayum…ok, let me calm down

By DasKrait2

August 18, 2005 04:10 PM | Link to this

12 hours? try all weekend on a gram. or so I have HEARD…..well, I know these people who know these people who, well, you know…LOL

By Wise Diva

August 18, 2005 04:16 PM | Link to this

Divine1 …ohhhh YUMMY!! I am SOO gonna tell! Emailing you now! LOL!

By DasKrait2

August 18, 2005 04:17 PM | Link to this

I think they told me it was 12 hours for one good line, and I THINK there are ALOT of them in one gram. What I remember HEARING anyway. I HEARD it can be dropped into coffee as well.

By Ivy

August 18, 2005 04:27 PM | Link to this

Scorned, they may actually brush is off as kids being kids. I didn’t realize she was 17. I was thinking younger like 14-15. Oh well, on that note. She might have parents that work at night or parents that don’t give her a curfew. Being that you said that you would be gone til 10pm, they were biding their time. Not sure why they didn’t hear you pull up or the key hit the door but that’s another story. At any rate, keep us posted. The phone call is appropriate, as well. Good Luck. Try not to point the blame cuz as someone said earlier, you don’t want her parents to jump on the defensive and then it causes problems since you all are neighbors. Try to remain neighborly and hopefully all will work out. Hmmmmmmmmm, come to think of it……when I was 17, I was doing the same thing (not sex but I was being felt up by my boyfriend at every opportunity we got….luckily we were the youngest of our parents children so there was never a need to be on the lookout for younger siblings). He might have been just touching it. Nothing’s wrong w/ kissing but I can see how the inappropriateness of their bold actions right there in your living room w/the 10yr in the next room cuz the hairs on your neck to stand up. Don’t be too hard on him nor her. Just my take.

By divine1

August 18, 2005 04:29 PM | Link to this

@ichi - I keep saying we should have a blog potluck.

@Wise Diva - You got it.

By Ivy

August 18, 2005 04:30 PM | Link to this

Oh my, LL, you lost it at 12? Wow. I’m speechless.

By Ivy

August 18, 2005 04:31 PM | Link to this

Divine, what time is dinner? I wouldn’t mind some of that good home cooking. I’ll be in the area anyway.

By MissUnderstood

August 18, 2005 04:35 PM | Link to this

I see you guys are still at it. A shame how percocets will make you nap wake u up and make u nap again. I think MHS is convinced. Y cause she was a lurker for a min. Anyhoo, scorned, this needs to get nipped in the bud. Yourself along with the young ladies parents need to have a discussion. Yes, he is still going to do things, he’s a young man and if we as women have learned nothing else, we’ve learned that the pootang can sometimes make our menfolk howl at the moon. lol Please also talk with him about safe sex. Having none would be even better at his age but if he’s not at least prepared, then the mistakes he make won’t be so costly.

By divine1

August 18, 2005 04:36 PM | Link to this

@Ivy - Now, you know I should be coming to your house to eat the way you can throw down.

@Iggy - Maybe when you and Mrs. Ignatius have that get together at your house - you can have everyone bring something to eat with them. Maybe have a “Taste of the Blog” event.

By 2 can play that game

August 18, 2005 04:38 PM | Link to this

Das….this is for you http://www.starterupsteve.com/flash/html/devilvsjohnny_bravo.shtml

By MissUnderstood

August 18, 2005 04:40 PM | Link to this

Yeh Divine, when’s dinner???? lol I think a potluck would be wonderful. I only like cooking when it hits me though. Right now I’m making meatloaf cause I don’t have to stand up and my son can check on it for me. It’s making me pretty hungry right about now. When my lil baller gets home, she’ll hook up the gravy and the veggies and we’ll be set. She loves to cook and she watches the cooking shows on the weekends. In a minute she gon pass momma in the kitchen. lol

By MissUnderstood

August 18, 2005 04:46 PM | Link to this

Yeh Ivy, you’re right about the getting felt up part. lol

Hey 2- Y come u ain’t check on me? Whateva save it!lol

By ATLborn

August 18, 2005 04:47 PM | Link to this

Sup 2Can! What u gon do man? Hit me up.

By aggressively witty

August 18, 2005 04:48 PM | Link to this

scorned, them kids 16 and 17, shiiiiiid they been smashing for AT LEAST a year. he been telling you aint nothing up so you can keep letting her come over and ‘play’

Good thing is, you know they are using some kinda protection if she aint got pregnant yet. I bet that 10 year old got some stories to tell

By MissUnderstood

August 18, 2005 04:52 PM | Link to this

lmao@ aggy- c how u be startin stuff?

By DasKrait2

August 18, 2005 04:57 PM | Link to this

@2 - thanks, I get a 404 on that but not the one you normally see, in (IE). I”ll play around with backspacing. Guy comes up in flash and says “watcha doing, ain’t nothint here’ kinda funny for a 404.. and talking real real fast.

By 2 can play that game

August 18, 2005 04:58 PM | Link to this

Atl…..I tried to call you, folks…..let’s get together sometime this weekend…..

By DasKrait2

August 18, 2005 05:01 PM | Link to this

well I think 17/18 years olds are going to be ‘doing the do’(to quote Ivy). doin’ the do.

but yeah, at least she was female.LOL

and maybe we could charge her with child-molestation the day she turns 18, since he will not yet be 17. My dad threatened that against an older female friend that I was not even sleeping with, and never did. and did not plan/try to. she was JUST A FRIEND.

By divine1

August 18, 2005 05:05 PM | Link to this

Good night good people.

@Scorned - I hope you are able to work out that issue with your son and the neighbor.

By DasKrait2

August 18, 2005 05:06 PM | Link to this

@2 - yeah, better check out that site more fully at home..Thanks..LOL

By abc

August 18, 2005 05:10 PM | Link to this

Yeah, I got laid more often as a teenager than as a married adult! Ha… it’s normal behavior… you can’t stop it no matter what you try, all you can do is educate them about contraception and disease prevention. There is no abstinence for teenagers unless they choose it for themselves.

By Psycho Belle

August 19, 2005 08:31 AM | Link to this

I’m lucky - ever since I met my husband, he has been my golden parachute.