Misadventures in Atlanta Blog is on the Move!
Attention Readers! We have moved! The Misadventures in Atlanta Blog can be found here. The new technology will improve our blog and commenting experience. Update your bookmarks and RSS feeds!
AJC.com > Living > Blog > Archives > 2005 > May
May 2005
Weekend Recap
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
I don’t know about y’all but I had a GREAT weekend despite the rainy weather. It was a combination of work and play but it was all good.
I started the weekend off at D&B. I also almost ended the weekend at D&B because I had way too much fun and way too much to drink.
Saturday was Smurfest. Ain’t no party like a MzB party and a MzB smurfest party does not stop until all the blue juice stops. When the maker of the kool-aid like drink is asked what’s in it he says if he tells you he has to kill you. I don’t want or need to know that bad, just keep the blue juice flowing.
Sunday was an all white party. I have never been to one before and I enjoyed myself. I know my friends probably thought I wasn’t having a good time because I wasn’t dancing or drinking as much but the house the party was at was just sooo spectacular that I spent a lot of time looking around and daydreaming about my own dream house.
Besides working on Monday I pretty much just relaxed. Did some cleaning, paying bills, recovering from all the fun I had, etc. I didn’t meet any guys worth blogging about but as I told y’all going out for me is never about meeting guys it’s just about having a good time no matter what I’m doing.
So how was everyone else’s weekend? Y’all should have plenty to talk about after four days of no blog.
Permalink | Comments (160) | Categories: Mix & Mingle
Foolishly in Love
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
One of my girlfriends is going to be really mad at me for this entry but when you are being a fool…you are being a fool.
So my girlfriend Blue Angel met her boyfriend on craig’s list. They have been together almost four months. She says the relationship is everything she has wanted and he treats her the way she wants to be treated. Her job sometimes requires her to travel so on one of her weeklong trips to D.C. we truly learn how small the internet is and how deceptive the internet can be.
My other girlfriend Mocha Angel is extremely busy between school, work and trying to have a social life. All this does not leave much time for meeting new guys or dating. So she decides to put up an ad on craig’s list. And who is one of the first people to respond? None other than Blue Angel’s boyfriend.
Mocha Angel was completely torn up by the situation. First off she couldn’t believe it was him responding and second, how do you tell your friend and your roommate that her man is still internet seeking although they are in an exclusive relationship?
As soon as Blue Angel returned from her business trip Mocha Angel told her. Blue Angel confronted him, told him she needed time and space, and put on a very good front for her friends. But not less than 24 hours after finding this information out he was back spending the night at her crib.
I thought this was disrespectful and a complete slap in the face to Mocha Angel who agonized all week about how to handle the situation. She was trying to protect Blue Angels feelings but in the end Blue Angel didn’t even consider hers.
Our point is if you are going to choose to stay with him that is fine. The information was given to you so you can make a more knowledgable decision. We just don’t want to see her get hurt. But could you really remain in a relationship with someone once trust has been shattered? Was it fate that out of all the ads on craig’s list he responded to the ad of her friend and roommate? Is that a sign from above? It’s not like she is with him 24 hours a day or can monitor his online activity to know if he will do it a third time? Yes I said third because she didn’t tell us about the first time she saw an email he sent in response to an ad.
When have you ever been a fool for love and how did you know you were being a fool? Is it possible to help a friend that is so blinded by their own feelings they are not able to face reality?
Permalink | Comments (480) | Categories: Relationships
Adult Toy Party
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
I have this problem. I sometimes take things too literally. So when I was invited to an adult toy party I thought it would be big kid toys like video games, electronics, etc. I did not know they meant toys for play in the bedroom until there was more of an e-mail exchange as the planning was taking place.
So I went to my first adult toy party and I looked like a deer in headlights. Even the other people that attended were laughing at me because the sales rep showed some stuff that I had never seen nor heard of before. And the fact that everyone else seemed to know what this stuff was even more shocking.
Don’t get me wrong, I have heard of vibrators (never used one) and we all have tried the body oil that you blow on and it gets warm but beyond that I was clueless. Needless to say, I did have a good time and learned quite a bit. The only thing I purchased was some pheromone mist because the sales rep. said it would attract the opposite sex. I’ll have to see if it works.
Is our society so oversexed through TV, movies, music, etc. that we have to resort to the use of toys to make/keep sex interesting? Are more people than what might be expected open to the idea of using toys?
Permalink | Comments (388) | Categories: Relationships
You have got to be kidding me - Part II
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
I didn’t speak to Mr. Potential for a few days after our argument about friendship, disrespect and him trying to get at my friend. And for good reason.
So after a long week I wanted to go to my haven of happiness…Dave & Busters. A bunch of people were coming in to town for my housewarming so I invited everyone to D&B. When the bell went off for happy hour I was there and I secured a booth for my friends.
I was there for about a half and hour and who should stroll in. You guessed it…Mr. Potential. He tried to act like he didn’t see me? The nerve of him. But I wasn’t going to be petty.
I didn’t want to yell out his name across the bar so I called his cell phone. I was less than 3 feet away from him sitting in a booth so I saw him look at his caller id, see it was me and not answer the phone. So then I did yell his name out. He turns around and I say, “So you aren’t going to speak to me?” He replies, “Whatever man.” Waves me off with his hand, picks up his drink and walks away. So I just think to myself…fine then…that really finishes it.
My friends start to slowly trickle in and so does some of Mr. P’s friends. They immediately spot me. First one of his closest boys arrives. “So where is Mr. P?” I stand up on the booth and point towards the video game he had been playing since he walked away from the bar. He sees the look on his face and says to me, what did you do or should I say what did he do? I tell him it’s not for me to tell him, that’s his boy, go ask him. And he does.
As Mr. P explains it he tried to kick it to one of my girls and she hasn’t called him because I’m a hater and told her bad things about him. LIAR. After the incident I didn’t even speak to my friend. I have never told her anything about the nature of my situation with Mr. Potential. So his boy comes back over and by this time I’m really kicking it with my friends, laughing, joking and just having a good time.
His friend says to me he is really mad at you. Why don’t you want him to talk to your friend. I just looked at him like he was stupid. And he says, “Ohhhhhhhh!!!!” I said, “What?” He says he didn’t know but my face says it all. “You used to mess with Mr. Potential?” I said to him, “He never told you.” He said, “No.” I said, “Well then it’s not my place to tell you.” He says, “Now I understand and Mr. Potential is wrong for that. I knew y’all were close I didn’t know y’all were that close.” When Mr. P and I had our last discussion he was at his boys house. And he must have been really pissed when he got off the phone that night. His boy says, “His story was not making sense. I asked him why you didn’t want him to talk to your girl and if y’all had ever messed around. He said never.” I told him, “I’m not telling you anything.” He said, “You don’t have to. I know he was wrong.” So he goes back over to Mr. Potential and I continue to do my thing.
I had to get up a few times and I must admit I was looking very cute. I did my hair up in a loose french twist and had some loose curls around my face. I had on the jeans that Mr. Potential says makes it look like I have a booty. I had on a cute top that complimented my shape. And I had just gotten my nails and toes done so I had on open toe heels. I just knew I was cute. So I had to locate one of my friends that couldn’t find the booth and I had to walk past Mr. P and his boy. The way he looked at me was a cross between I hate you but I want you. Y’all know that look. His look got even worse when I walked back with my male friend. But I wasn’t paying Mr. P any mind. Drinks were half price and good, I was with my peoples, NOTHING would kill my happiness.
So we all had been sitting, laughing, drinking and talking for about an half an hour when Mocha Angel and one of my guy friends pointed out to me that Mr. P had been standing by and checking out our table the entire time. The way I was sitting in the booth, my back was to him. I just bust up laughing. What game is this man playing?
I had to get up to go to the bathroom and on the way back I spoke to some of his friends because we had always been cool and whenever I’m out we speak. They invite me to Bellbottoms. I said, “Is he going to be there?” They tell me to not mind him. But they are his friends and I wasn’t going to make him feel uncomfortable plus I wasn’t feeling being around him when he’s in that funky mood.
I just can’t believe that he is mad at me when I’m clearly the one that should be mad at him. I didn’t try to talk to any of his friends. But since he thinks so little of me I know he wouldn’t care if I did. But I care and I have more respect for him than that. I just wouldn’t be comfortable dating one of his friends and being around him.
So my friend are laughing at him and frankly I am too. One of my advisors on males says that Mr. Potential really likes me but he doesn’t know how to approach the situation. Another male friend says if you have been dealing with 5’s and you get an 8 you don’t know how to handle that. I’m not sure what I think. But what do y’all think?
I’ll admit, I really do want to call him and try to work this out because the situation is ridiculous. But I have been around Mr. P long enough to know that he’ll cut a woman off for the smallest thing. We have had arguments over petty stuff before but it never terminated our psuedo friendship. Is it even worth trying to salvage something because he did disrespect me?
Permalink | Comments (197) | Categories: Relationships
You have got to be kidding me - Part I
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Remember I said Mr. Potential wanted me to hook him up with one of my girlfriends. Well he tried to hook himself up and now he just looks like a fool.
We were at the movies and Mr. P took it upon himself to get my girl’s phone number. He had been acting funny from the moment he got to the theater. He sat a seat apart from me until someone asked him to move to make room. We got in to a conversation about how we are not friends. I said that to him and he yells loudly, “I can’t believe you just said we aren’t friends. You really hurt my feelings.” I looked at him like he was crazy and bust out laughing (because I was embarrassed by what he just did) and just shook my head. Luckily the lights went low and the movie started.
So after the movie we talked about how I felt what he did was very disrespectful. And he told me I was being selfish. I ask him out of all the women he already talks too and all the women in Atlanta why does he have to try and get with my friend? So to add insult to injury he said my friend is more of his type. And despite what I think he doesn’t talk to a lot of females or go out on a lot of dates or have a lot of women trying to speak to him and he doesn’t try to speak to a lot of females when he is out. Well then there is your problem. We already said you can’t meet anyone sitting at home playing epic team games on your computer or watching Magnum PI DVD’s.
But even if I’m not your type it’s still not okay to try to get at one of my friends. He said that my girl was not really my friend because if she was I would be happy for her. What kind of bull logic is that?!?!??! I would never want any of my friends to mess with any guy that I have messed with before. We are close but we are not that close. He goes on and on…are you saying I’m not a good guy? Why are you being selfish? If it doesn’t work out we’ll just all be friends. Are you saying we aren’t cool anymore?
I told him if this “friendship” is so important to you than you know what the right thing to do is. Do not talk to my girlfriend. Don’t call her, don’t initiate anything. He got quiet. “Well by your response I can tell how much I mean or should I say don’t mean to you. So do you Mr. P.” He responds, “I’m sorry you feel that way and wish you would reconsider?”
There is nothing to reconsider.
To my girlfriends credit she does not know anything about me and Mr. P beyond the fact that we were neighbors who hung out some times. I’m anonymous for a reason so although y’all know about Mr. P there are some of my offline friends that don’t know the extent of my friendship, if you want to call it that, with Mr. Potential.
Permalink | Comments (298) | Categories: Relationships
Did not tell all
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
I’m starting to think I just need to quit while I’m ahead when it comes to this dating thing.
Remember Biker Boy? Well I haven’t mentioned him much because besides a few dates he just didn’t seem interested. He even pulled the disappearing act for about two weeks. So when I finally got in touch with him he said he was doing great and a lot had happened since we last spoke. I ask what happened. He said, “let’s just say my life has taken a MAJOR change.” Major is an understatement.
Curiosity was killing me, I just had to know. So I called him at work. I said, “Did you get a promotion? Are you getting married? Are the girls moving in with ya?” He tells me he is ENGAGED and got engaged Mother’s Day weekend.
Supposedly the “lucky” lady lives in California and will move here. He’s known her since high school. I was shocked but not disappointed. It’s not like we ever did anything… we didn’t even kiss. But it reminded me of how shady dating can be.
From the very beginning I asked if he was single and he said yes. He told me all about his kids and how he got to where he is in life now YET he failed to mention that he was communicating with a woman from his past and was obviously in love with her. You don’t just decide one day to get married and ask a woman the next day. There clearly had to be some conversations, he had to buy a ring, etc. So why didn’t he just tell me he was interested in someone else? We were only dating so it wasn’t that big of a deal to me.
So if I was skeptical before I’m super skeptical now. He may be a nice guy but how he handled the situation was just not right. And I’m sure his fiance doesn’t know about his dating life in Atlanta. But I do wish them both the best because everyone should be happy and deserves someone who loves them.
Have you ever dated or been in a relationship with someone and after y’all broke up they were immediately in a new relationship OR got engaged/married? How did you handle the situation? Why can’t people really be honest about their status when it comes to dating?
Permalink | Comments (295) | Categories: Relationships
Lost in Transition
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
At a recent gathering of co-workers I asked, how long do I have to live here before I’m considered a Georgia Peach? They said no matter how long I live here I will always be a northern transplant. But I don’t feel like I’m northern or southern.
There is a group that throws parties and if you have a northern ID you get in for free. Well, I don’t have anything to show my northerness unless you count the Jersey drive attitude. I don’t have a northern accent and I don’t have a N.J. driver’s license.
It’s like I want to hold on to my northerness but Georgia is clearly my home. I work here, I have a home here, I pay taxes here, I vote here. How many years can I live here yet still claim New Jersey? When I meet people I’ll say I live on the Eastside but I’m from New Jersey. Will there ever come a time where I’ll only claim Georgia and not New Jersey?
So, I’m lost in transistion. Home will always be home, but I can’t continue to claim a place that I haven’t lived in for over six years. I know I’m not the only transplant feeling this way. How did y’all handle moving and settling here? Or are you still dealing with it? I’ve heard it doesn’t matter where you from but where you at … but here in Atlanta, it does seem to matter where you are from.
Permalink | Comments (235) | Categories: Mix & Mingle
Tying the Knot
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
They met in January at a tsunami relief benefit and were married in May. Although their relationship and engagement was short they have their whole lives ahead of them to be together. Who am I talking about? Actress Renee Zellweger and country music star Kenny Chesney were married last Monday in a small ceremony on the Caribbean island of St. John in the U.S. Virgin Islands.
I know some people are thinking four months is just too soon to meet someone and get married. But isn’t that how it used to be for our grandparents’ generation? Maybe we are doing it wrong. We wait so long to get married — are we making a mountain out of a mole hill. We over-analyze the person and the relationship and thus find every flaw and reason for the relationship to end.
I’m not saying marriage is not a serious endeavor, but do we think ourselves out of love?
On May 21, Leanne DeFrancisco will marry Jason Manning, the carpenter who lived next door when Habitat for Humanity volunteers started building her Suwanee home. He took one look at the brunette in the tool belt, and a courtship began amid buckets of paint and stacks of shingles. Read their story
Stories like this keeps hope alive for me that there is truly someone for everyone out there. And that there is no timeline when it comes to matters of the heart. We always talk about what goes wrong but who has examples of relationships that have been right?
Permalink | Comments (196) | Categories: Marriage
Not neighborly
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Atlanta is just not a neighborly place to me. When I lived in my apartment complex, Mr. Potential was the only neighbor I really knew by name. So far I haven’t met any of the neighbors in my new community. And I’m just not used to that.
My family had been in the city I grew up in since the late 1800s and our roots run deep. Even though it is a large city and right outside of New York City, it’s a place where everybody knows everybody and news spreads like wildfire…it’s a city with a small town feel.
I went to school with the mayor’s son. My kindergarten teacher was my brother’s kindergarten teacher. My second grade teacher was also my church choir director. My nephew’s fourth grade teacher was my fifth grade teacher. Even people that lived three blocks away — we know them by name and still call them neighbor.
I don’t want my kids to miss out on that experience. Maybe Atlanta is just too big or too many people here are transplants. Even my closest friends in Atlanta I met online first.
Is being neighborly a thing of the past? Do we no longer believe that it takes a village to raise a child? Where are the villages and why are they not talking to each other? What do you do to be neighborly?
Permalink | Comments (109) | Categories: Mix & Mingle
Spring Cleaning
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Summer is almost here but you still have time to spring clean your life. Now is the perfect time to purge stuff that is holding you back — from bad money habits to unresolved emotional baggage. I picked out a few ways to spring clean your life from an email that was sent to me. You can’t be happy with someone else until you are happy with yourself.
1. Exorcise your ex
Get rid of their photos, take them off speed dial, and tell your friends to get after you if you mention the ex’s name. It’s over so move on.
2. Trash your bad body image and stop overeating
It’s self-destructive to obsess about your body. Get fit without striving for unrealistic goals. You can start not eating after 7 p.m., buying single-servings instead of economy size and saving half of a large meal as lunch for the next day.
3. Get your money right.
We have talked about cleaning up credit so I won’t dwell on that. But start a fun fund and put some money aside every week to do something fun like go on a cruise or a more-expensive-than-normal night on the town. If shopping is your vice, use the fun fund for shopping instead of going on unneccessary spending sprees when you know you have other bills to pay. And nobody likes someone who doesn’t repay their debts. So if you owe family and friends money, now’s the time to pay up.
4. Break up and update your network
Ditch the people in your life that are doing you no good. And cultivate new contacts both personally and professionally. Start a casual monthly networking party for people in your industry and/or amongst friends. You will be amazed at how many people you will meet.
What do you do to get ready for summer? Are there certain times of the year that you find yourself re-evaluating and purging your life? What other ways do you suggest to spring clean your life?
Permalink | Comments (140) | Categories: Mix & Mingle
Workplace Flirting
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Y’all know I am no advocate of dating co-workers but I understand the possibility of getting involved with someone you work with because so much of our time is spent at work.
So if you have a crush on a co-worker, here’s a few do’s and don’ts thanks to an article sent to me by Blue.
Check the employee handbook
Make sure there aren’t any regulations prohibiting office romances.
Flirting to you but sexual harrassment to someone else.
There is a very fine line between welcome advances and sexual harrassment so be careful.
Some soft-pedal approaches to not come on too strong
Use informal employee groups to get to know the person casually. Engage in covert operations such as finding a reason to have to interact with the object of your affection. If the person is in another department expand your reach by doing a casual happy hour between departments. There is more than one way to subtly get to know and make a move on a person you are interested in.
Flirting with a boss or subordinate
Don’t flirt above your pay grade unless they start it and don’t flirt below your pay grade unless they start it. Either way be cautious.
Again, I don’t condone dating co-workers, but what has or has not worked for you?
Permalink | Comments (205) | Categories: Mix & Mingle
Emotionally unattached relationships
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Emotionally unattached relationships do exist. I know what you’re thinking. What is the point of a relationship if you are emotionally unattached? I’m not sure.
I think Military Man and I had an emotionally unattached relationship. We cared about each other but it was not some deep emotional bond. We didn’t want to get hurt again. So you want companionship and not just a cut buddy but you don’t want all that comes along with a relationship.
The divorce rate is high. Older generations would stay in unhappy and unloving relationships for their children. Today, people no longer see the point in making that sacrifice to maintain a family because society has become more accepting of non-traditional families.
One thing I have learned is that you can’t focus on yourself and be in a relationship. There are always ways we can improve ourselves but if you have some serious issues you need to work out, you shouldn’t do it while in a relationship. I have also learned that being in a relationship for it’s own sake is no longer good enough for me.
Have you ever been in an emotionally unattached relationship? If so, why did you stay and how long were you in it? If you are emotionally unattached to a person, shouldn’t it be even easier to walk away from the relationship?
Permalink | Comments (173) | Categories: Relationships
Unconditional Love
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
What is unconditional love?
According to Webster’s New Millennium Dictionary of English unconditional love is affection with no limits or conditions; complete love.
People often say they want someone to love them unconditionally. I was raised to believe that the the supreme example and only source of unconditional love was God or whomever your higher power is.
But what does that really mean? Does unconditional love mean to love someone in spite of themselves? Does it mean to love a person no matter what they do even if they hurt you? Can unconditional love only be found between a child and their parent?
Give me examples because I’m trying to understand. I believe unconditional love is powerful and the highest and strongest form of love but is it not a love that can be found on Earth? Is it only found in the spiritual sense?
Permalink | Comments (169) | Categories: Matters of the Heart
Crazy Breakups
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
I’m sorry
I can’t
Don’t hate me
— post-it note from Berger to Carrie ending their relationship
“I once was broken up with by a guy’s doorman. ‘I’m sorry Ms. Hobbes, Jonathan won’t be coming down. Ever.’” -Miranda
There are some crazy ways to breakup with people. We talked last year about if in this day and age of online dating whether it was OK to break up by email. And that it still is an unacceptable way to say it’s over.
I heard about one guy who supposedly mailed his girlfriend a boot. Get it? He was giving her the boot. Another guy asked his girlfriend to babysit for him because he had a date.
What are the most creative tactics you have used to break up with someone? Or what’s been used on you?
Permalink | Comments (156) | Categories: Relationships
In Honor of Mothers
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Mother’s Day is a time of commemoration and celebration for Mom.
When I was in college I would surprise my mom on Mother’s Day by driving home to see her, even if it was just for one day and then hurrying back to school to finish my final exams.
Buying a gift for my mom is always difficult because she never wants anything. Again, I asked my mom what she wanted. Of course she said nothing. I said, “Mom, aren’t you tired of getting flowers every year? You have to have a massive vase collection.” She said, “I like getting flowers. I would rather enjoy them now than receive them when I’m gone.” I hate when she says stuff like that. “Just buy me some flowers.” So I pushed the submit button on 1-800-Flowers.com
I bought my mom a little trio of potted plants instead of the usual bouquet in a vase. She can use the little pots as votive candle holders. She already received her plants and she loved them. She said it was so cute.
Some interesting Mother’s Day facts: (data from 2002 census information)
82.5 million - Estimated number of mothers of all ages in the United States.
68% - Percentage of women in Mississippi, ages 15 to 44, who are mothers. This is among the highest rates among states. The national average is 56 percent.
82%- Percentage of women 40 to 44 years old who are mothers. In 1976, 90 percent of women in that age group were mothers.
About 10 percent - Percentage of women today who end their childbearing years with
four or more children. That compares with 36 percent in 1976.
2 - Average number of children that women today can expect to have in
their lifetime.
3 - Average number of children that women in Utah and Alaska can expect to have in their lifetime. These two states top the nation in average number of births per woman.
23,094 - Number of florists nationwide in 2002
More than 152 million - Number of Mother’s Day cards expected to be given this year in the United States, making Mother’s Day the third-largest card sending occasion.
$5 billion - Revenue of greeting-card publishers nationwide in 2002.
4 million - Number of women who have babies each year. Of this number, about 425,000 are teens ages 15 to 19, and more than 100,000 are age 40 or over.
25.1 - Average age of women when they give birth for the first time.
40% - Percentage of births that are the mother’s first. Another 32 percent are the second-born; 17 percent, third; and 11 percent, fourth or more.
1-in-32 - The odds of a woman delivering twins.
1-in-540 – The odds of having triplets or other multiple births
August - The most popular month in which to have a baby.
July – The second most popular month in which to have a baby.
Tuesday - The most popular day of the week in which to have a baby.
5.4 million - Number of stay-at-home moms in 2003.
More than 687,000 - Number of child day-care centers across the country in 2002.
About 2 million - Among more than 10 million preschoolers, the number who are cared for in a day-care center during the bulk of their mother’s working hours.
10 million - The number of single mothers living with children under 18 years old
What did you get your mom? Do any of the mother’s day fact’s surprise or startle you? Our mother’s, grandmothers, aunties, give us so much advice, but how often do we heed what they say? What’s the best advice your mother, grandmother or other maternal figure gave you that you followed? What’s the best advice your mother, grandmother or other maternal figure gave you that you WISH you took heed to?
HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY TO ALL THE MOM’S ON THE BLOG AND LURKING!
Permalink | Comments (138) | Categories: Current Events
Teenage Sex
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
I have two teen-aged nieces and one nephew. I talked to y’all before about how I wanted to talk to them about sex on my last visit home. And we did but I realize that I’m their aunt and they would never admit to me if they were sexually active. Cool, young auntie or not, if I was in their shoes I probably wouldn’t have told me either because I wouldn’t know what my reaction would be.
What role does culture play in keeping teens from engaging in sex? A new study finds that Hispanic teenagers in the United States who use Spanish as their primary language are likely to become sexually active later than those who have learned English. Researchers say the findings underscore how strong cultural ties can influence teens behavior.
In another related study, abstinence-only sex education programs have been found to be ineffective. Teenagers in 29 high schools with courses emphasizing abstinence-only themes became increasingly sexually active, according to the study conducted by researchers at Texas A&M University.
Teenagers are having sex. But how old do you have to be to be mature enough for sex and all that comes along with it? When did you first have sex and were you ready? Looking back on it, would you have waited longer? Why isn’t the fear of AIDS or some other sexually transmitted disease keeping teenagers from engaging in sex?
Permalink | Comments (170) | Categories: Current Events
Suffering in love
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
I believe women are meant to suffer greatly in love before they find true love. Maybe I believe this because I am a Pisces. Or maybe I believe this because so many women I know have suffered when it comes to loving.
This past weekend, one of my good friends in Illinois tells me that she and her boyfriend have parted ways. I was shocked because I knew they were on the path to getting married. He has had a ring on layaway for her for months.
To make things worse, he already has a new girlfriend who he has been parading around their small town with. But do you think he picked a quality woman? HECK NO. I’m told the new woman has two kids by two different men and is fiercely pursuing child support. She lives at home with her father in another town and is going to pack up everything, including her kids, to move to the town where my girlfriend and her ex lives. And all this happened in the course of 10 days. Yeah, I’m shocked and appalled too.
Next case of heartbreak would be that friend’s sister. Her husband left her for a younger woman with whom he has already fathered a child out of wedlock. This is the third time a man has left her for a younger woman but the other cases were boyfriends, not her husband.
Heartbreak #3. Remember my friend who recently got divorced and received the final divorce papers on her birthday? She has been very depressed, seeing a therapist and taking a lot of pills and drinking a bit too much white wine to cope. Well, her father just died on Friday. She says to me, “Mia, I know I have to be strong but I just can’t take it anymore. 2005 has been a terrible year for me.” I agree. How much can you endure? I just hope she makes it back from her country to Atlanta safely and can immediately get with her therapist.
These stories make me think about my own messed up endings to long-term relationships. You get over it but you never forget. Love hurts like hell. We know that. If it didn’t hurt we couldn’t appreciate it when it feels good. But why do women, in particular, suffer so much in love? Is it just my perspective because I am a woman?
Permalink | Comments (339) | Categories: Relationships
Personal Ads
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
I have a confession. I’m one of those people that checks craig’s list almost every day to read the personal ads in the hope of actually meeting someone even half-way decent.
Lately I have been so busy with work, family issues and still trying to get settled in my new home that I haven’t checked the personals in a few weeks. So I decided to log on and see what I have been missing. Sadly, I haven’t missed a thing.
It’s still the same old ads of men seeking women for discreet sexual encounters and guys that post pictures of themselves that they really shouldn’t.
I have another confession. I have posted a personal ad myself. But the guys that responded were either unattractive or not serious about moving from behind their computer screen to actually meet in person. And I’ll admit, I don’t make it easy. People assume that if you post a personal ad that you have no life and are just waiting for their email or phone call. I have a life and you have to schedule something in advance with me.
I can’t say craig’s list has been successful for me but I have not given up hope. Or maybe I’m just addicted to the laughs I get from reading some of the ads.
Are there any personals sites you regularly check? Do you have a personal ad posted somewhere? Have you or anyone you know had any success? Do I need to just give up trying to meet someone online and stick to meeting people offline?
Permalink | Comments (269) | Categories: Mix & Mingle
Runaway Bride
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
How silly of me to think that “Runaway Bride” was just a movie starring Julia Roberts. This past week we got to watch it play out in real life.
“Runaway Bride” was a cute and funny Julia Roberts and Robert Gere movie. If you haven’t seen it maybe the past week will inspire you to rent it. I always thought the concept of the movie was a good one but in real life who would really run away from their own wedding? So much time, energy, emotion and most importantly money is invested in to the event that it is hard to just run away from it.
Meet Jennifer Wilbanks.
Not only did Jennifer Wilbanks run away from her pending nuptials…and literally she jogged away…she came up with this story that can only be described as fantastical about being kidnapped. If you somehow have been under a rock for the past week and have missed any portion of her story you can catch up here.
And what about her fiance John Mason? Even after finding out that his future wife was not kidnapped but in fact had a major case of cold feet he was still just happy that she was alive and okay. As they say in the south, bless his heart.
Here’s something to think about John. Do you really want to get married and have children with a woman who wasn’t even mature enough to let you know how she was feeling? Can you really see a marriage that lasts till death do you part with a person that can decide at the spur of the moment to run away? Jennifer Wilbanks, who is a nurse, apparently decided shortly after purportedly leaving for her jog Tuesday night that she was going to run away.
If you were having cold feet, how would you have handled the situation? Can a wedding get so out of control that it turns in to a production you can’t stop? Can weddings really be that overwhelming? If your spouse ran away shortly before your nuptials, would you welcome them back with open arms? Would you still consider marrying them?
Permalink | Comments (193) | Categories: Current Events
