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Home > Bino's Blogaroni > Archives > 2007 > February > 05 > Entry
“Naked Day” at the Gym
Just Un-do It
A gym in the Netherlands is experimenting with “Naked Sundays”, an idea aimed at giving its members a chance to get buff in the buff. Story here.
Clearly, this is an idea that requires reflection and observation.
We here at The Blogaroni question whether a stationary bike could still be called a stationary bike if its rider jiggles excessively, or whether anybody in a co-ed step aerobics class could be expected to pay attention to the choreography in the midst of all that flapping fleshmeat.
And plus, a naked gym would just ruin the illusion of weight loss. So many people,who have managed to convince themselves that their exercise has resulted in weight loss would only be disabused of their beliefs once they looked in the full-length mirror and spotted exactly where that phantom weight loss had gone.
Throw in the towels
In a naked gym, the biggest workout, it seems to us, would be the task of mopping up. 
All that unsopped sweat, rolling off the overheated glaciers of bare backs and abdomens could achieve river-producing flows at peak times, we fear.
But being that gyms are constantly trying to come up with new ways to lure members, we here at The Blogaroni fear that its only a matter of time before you may wander into a gym, surprised to find yourself in the middle of a Naked Day at the gym.
So, in an effort to sharpen your awareness, we here at The Blogaroni have come up with …
The Top 10 Signs Your Gym is Having a Naked Day
1. All the jump ropes are checked out.
2. There’s a crowd of gawkers gathered outside the yoga studio during the inverted positions section of the class.
3. Spinnng class is delayed due to “hair fouling” equipment issues.
4. Nobody in the place seems to have a tan line.
5. Paramedics are tending to a man who is in extreme pain due to a bizarre “free weight plate stacking mishap” in the bench press area.
6. Everybody wants you to hold their ankles for sit-ups.
7. For the first time ever, you feel like less of a perv for hanging around the locker room.
8. You’e afraid to look up to see if anybody else is on the rock climbing wall.
9. You spot your clergyman and/or Republican congressman there.
10. You suddenly have the urge to experiment with different ways to wear your iPod.
Comments
By Teresa Morejon
February 6, 2007 11:33 AM | Link to this
I think you missed one Frank…suddenly the rate of Viagra use amongst men would drop 99.8%. LOL! This was the funniest blog you’ve written yet!
By Barb
February 8, 2007 10:53 AM | Link to this
Bino, I’ve always been a huge fan, but your numbers eleven and twelve were just disgusting, unnecessarily graphic, immature and uncalled for. I’m not reading you anymore and I’m calling the TV station to complain.
By nan
February 14, 2007 2:52 PM | Link to this
Frank, Don’t worry about Barb’s comments because there was no number 11 or 12. I thought it was hilarious, another zinger outta the park!
By Clem
February 19, 2007 1:25 PM | Link to this
Nan, you are wrong, there were nos 11 and 12. One referring graphically to female genitalia and the second referring to erections. Think before you shoot your mouth off.