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Monday, November 17, 2008
Dude, Where’s My Food?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
A few years ago, the publishing world was a flutter with “guy” cookbooks — the kind that teach a dude how to do more than just open a can of tuna. Some, like “The Guy Can’t Cook,” are designed for the sort of man who thinks cooking is the heat-and-ingredient equivalent of a vasectomy. Others, like “Dude Food: Recipes for the Modern Guy,” explore beyond peanut butter and jelly to a realm where, though not of Martha’s standards, certainly help elevate the average Joe to a Jean-Georges.
This all became more interesting to me after a recent conversation with my husband, who — before marrying me — was single for close to 15 years. It’s dawned on me that while I thought he married me because he thought I was cute, things may actually have slanted my way because I can cook. Dang. And while I’ve had lots of ideas for cookbooks over the years, never has the idea of a guy cookbook entered my mind — until now.
I was stunned as he relayed over breakfast recently the creative process by which he used to eat. Clever dishes, perfect for the single guy, with little or no heat or clean up involved. Things that could be mixed together and eaten from the can or jar. Dishes that use only three ingredients. One bowl mixes that utilize nothing but water and a spoon for combining. Brilliant. Absolute genius. Even more of a miracle, his dishes are made sans microwave. He didn’t own one. I can’t wait to get the proposal written so I can send his recipes off to a publisher ASAP.
While we’re waiting, here are a few of his creations. Feel free to share. And send me your or your guy’s ideas, too.
His first dish goes by no name, but doesn’t really need one, either:
1 can Vienna sausages
1 liberal squirt (to taste) of Texas Pete hot sauce
Method: Open the can, squirt the hot sauce over the sausages, close the lid, shake, open, eat. Fork optional. Tips and comments: “You’ll have to sacrifice one sausage to get the others out whole.”
Tuna Noodle Pea
This dish requires that whoever is cooking knows how to cook a pound of egg noodles.
1 pound egg noodles
1 can tuna, it doesn’t matter what kind
1 pound frozen English peas
Method: Cook the pasta according to the package directions (see above). Drain the pasta. Open the can of tuna and drain the water from it. Dump the tuna and peas onto the hot pasta. Stir. Tips/comments: “Don’t worry about pre-thawing the peas — the heat from the noodles will warm them up enough.”
Big Guns
This recipe requires an oven and the ability to turn it on.
1 package Bisquick baking mix
1 package hot dogs
Mix the Bisquick with water according to the package directions. Spread half the mixture on the bottom of a baking dish (“it doesn’t matter what size”). Place the hot dogs over the mixture, then spread the remaining half over the hot dogs. Bake until golden brown. Tips/comments: “I was drunk when I named this dish. I was drunk every time I ate it, too.”
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