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Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Okay Restaurant Folks, Now It’s Your Turn
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
WAITERS LEARNING to be waiters.
Photo: Alex Brandon/AP
If I’m going to rant about what I dislike from a restaurant, it’s only fair that I give the folks on the other side of the equation a go. If you’re someone who works in or owns a restaurant, what would you want your customers to know?
Having been on the other side myself (I am someone who based my reason for getting married the first time on the answer to the following question: Will I ever have to wait tables again? When he said no, I said yes. No wonder it didn’t work out…) I would have a few beefs with customers. Here’s my list:
Yes, the customer is always right. But that doesn’t mean you’re actually correct. Check your ego at the door and loosen up. It’s only food.
Please don’t have sex in the bathroom. I’m the one the restaurant paid to clean up after you.
Please don’t assume that because I wait on tables I’m stupid. Please don’t assume that because I cook on the line I’m stupid. This is classic sandbox stuff: It’s nice to be treated as an equal.
There must be something interesting about this industry: I don’t see any shows on Bravo or Fox about working in a dentist’s office. Are there shows called “Top Certified Public Accountant?” I don’t think so….
Leaving $1.20 on a $35 dollar lunch bill is criminal. If you can’t pay the tip, don’t go out to eat.
If you don’t think I deserve a tip, then tell me. I’d like to know what the problem is so I can improve.
In regard to #6, yelling is not a form of communication.
I love kids, but I’m not your baby sitter. Neither is the hostess.
Saying “thank you” every now and then goes a long way in making us both have a better evening.
I don’t want to engage in your table conversation any more than you want me to.
Want more waiter rants? The popular blogger from waiterrant has written a book called “Waiter Rant: Thanks for the Tip — Confessions of a Cynical Waiter” (Ecco, August 2008, $24.95). It’s touted as a front-of-the-house-version of “Kitchen Confidential” and includes accounts of everything from sex in the bathroom (see #2, above) to customer arrogance and misbehavior to “the little unseen bits of human grace that transpires in the most unlikely places.”
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