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Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Life lessons from Emily Post and a homeless man
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Emily Post, etiquette authority
Denver Moore, a homeless man turned homeless shelter volunteer and bestselling author
I read two books this week in preparation for interviews with their authors.
Both are sort of guides in how to live.
On Monday I interviewed Laura Claridge, author of the biography of Emily Post. While her subject has become short-hand for proper - even stuffy - manners, Claridge said Mrs. Post was more interested in making others feel welcome than in triumphing over them with superior knowledge of soup spoons and salad forks.
“Making others feel uncomfortable,” is the etiquette breach that would trouble her the most, Claridge said.
Today, I met author Denver Moore. Unlike Post, who was born into wealth and privilege, Moore was born into a poor family of sharecroppers. He served 10 years in prison and lived on the streets for more than 20 before befriending Ron and Debbie Hall, who volunteered at the Fort Worth, Tex. homeless shelter that served him.
Getting past his initial skepticism, Moore allowed the Halls to get to know him and eventually love him. He spoke at Debbie Hall’s memorial service after she died of cancer. By then, the Halls considered him family.
“We became students,” Ron Hall said. “We were the students.”
Moore, who spoke at today’s Courage to Care luncheon only learned to read and write recently, but the book he co-authored with Hall, Same Kind of Different Than Me, is as much of a guide book as anything Emily Post ever penned.
The main lessons of love and forgiveness are simple, if sometimes difficult to practice. The Halls first meet Moore after he’s caused a ruckus in the shelter, threatening to kill whoever stole his shoes. While Ron Hall was ready to bolt, his wife sought out Moore and extended the hand of friendship.
Is this the kind of guy you’d invite into your life? Debbie Hall thought so, and Moore credits her with turning his life around.
“You never know whose eyes God is going to be watching you out of,” he said today.
I recommend both books. There’s surely nothing wrong with exhibiting proper manners. And exhibiting a little grace never hurt, either.
Oh, one more thing. Denver Moore does mention proper silverware in the book. The grandson of slaves who would later be awarded the 2006 Philanthropist of the Year in Fort Worth, he had once slept behind the grand hotel he was honored in.
He describes being a little nervous as he tries to fit in with the well-heeled patrons that night, and is careful to take cues from Hall when selecting which fork to use.
“I had learned by then that rich white folks got a lotta rules ‘bout forks,” Moore writes. “I still ain’t figured out why they got to use three or four different ones and make a lotta extra work for the folks in the kitchen.”
