Joy Earle routinely writes in a journal about her husband of 21 years. Sometimes, she jots down happy thoughts. Other times, she vents.

I feel like I have to do everything — the vacuuming, the cooking, the kids.

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Private journaling may help keep couples connected.

Either way, the Acworth mom of two is convinced the exercise helps her work through feelings and reflect on the status of her relationship.

"There was a point when I was frustrated; at the end of my tirade, I looked at what I had wrote and I thought, 'You've never asked for help,' " said Earle. The 48-year-old leads marriage workshops with her husband, Jeff, a church pastor.

They show what it's like to be in a relationship with the write stuff: Couples who write about their feelings about each other may be more likely to stay together than those who don't.

That's the conclusion of University of Texas psychology professor James Pennebaker, who relates his research in "How Do I Love Thee? Let Me Count the Words."

Writers who chronicle their relationships for 20 minutes a day were more likely to feel connected to their significant other, compared with couples who simply wrote about daily activities. Of those in the study who wrote about their relationship, four in every five were still an item. Of those who wrote about their schedule, only half were still together three months later. Researchers also found that couples who jotted down positive emotions on paper were more likely to verbally express love and affection to their partner.

Though the study used 86 college-age dating couples who might not display the same level of commitment or history together as a married couple, Pennebaker said the findings suggest spouses also could benefit from relationship writing.

"The couples wrote about all kinds of things — recent fights, different goals. Sometimes they would wax eloquently about how much they love the other person," Pennebaker said.

One person wrote about their long-distance romance:

I remember when we first started dating, in the first year or so, and people would ask me about how it was to have a long-distance relationship. I remember saying that as long as the couple loves each other enough, and cares for each other enough, that they'll make it work. And I still feel that.

While writing in a journal is a common practice in therapy, Pennebaker concedes that writing about your spouse every day may be overkill.

"I see the writing as a life course correction," Pennebaker said. "Maybe things are not going so well, or maybe you are having trouble talking to your partner about something. That's the kind of marker you can look for. You don't need to do every day or every week, but there are times it can clarify things."

Back in Acworth, Earle said writing a journal is "like holding up a mirror to yourself."

Even when you rant about your spouse, you learn a lot about yourself.

"If you vent," she said, "and you are angry and you can write it all down, then you can ask yourself: 'Is this a valid reason to be angry, or am I upset because I got laid off?' "