Was that a wedding or a red-and-black ball sealed with vows of love — for the Georgia Bulldogs? And what in the world did Georgia Tech fans wear?

These are the dilemmas of the wedding season.

With roughly 35,000 weddings in Atlanta each year, it's highly likely that you've received an invite.

Before you dust off that lavender sheath or iron those slacks, it may be worth reading the fine print. Trendy brides and grooms are caught up in customizing every aspect of their nuptials, according to wedding planners, from inserting school spirit to making clothing optional. Whether it's a wacky theme or something more traditional, certain rules always apply.

Attending Melissa Broggi's October wedding means deciphering "comfortable church attire," a term she brainstormed with her fiancé, Nick Pichetto, 24.

"[It's] something that is nice enough that you would wear it to church on a Sunday, but comfortable enough so that you can dance," said Broggi, 21, of Lawrenceville.

Guests who need more guidance should just pick up the phone.

"No matter what it says on the invitation, if you don't understand what it is, you have to ask," said Stacie Francombe, creator of Get Married Atlanta, a local television show that began airing in January with advice for the bride and groom.

She said guests also feel compelled to make the gift as unique as the wedding.

"A lot of guests go out and find things that they like and then the bride and groom end up with things they don't want," Francombe said.

"It is easier now for guests to get gifts off the registry."

We've consulted the experts for advice to help guests navigate the wacky world of weddings.

What to wear

• Follow instructions: Refer to the invitation, then consider the location and the time of day. But use the reception time, not the wedding time, as your guide. "If it says black tie, don't show up in a linen suit," Francombe said. Instead, men should opt for a tuxedo or dark-colored suit. For women, a long or three-quarter-length dress is acceptable. Festive or cocktail attire means suits for men and dresses or fancy slacks with a formal top for women.

• When in doubt, overdress: "You should always dress a little on the dressier side," said Carley Roney, editor in chief of The Knot wedding magazine and Web site, even if it's a quickie Vegas wedding with Elvis officiating. "I say that with the caveat of avoiding sequins." Which brings us to ...

• Never outshine the bride: "You want to be celebratory, but not loud. Your job is to be the frame," Roney said. That means avoiding red. Also, never, ever, wear white or off-white, cream, ivory, or even champagne, says Theresa DiMasi, editor of Brides.com. Save those colors for the bride.

• When in Rome ... or at least on a beach in Rome: It's acceptable to dress casually. Roney says a dress is still appropriate, but consider a fabric like cotton or chiffon. Dressy flip-flops also make the cut.

• Beware of the S-factor: Avoid sexy, slinky, sheer or slits. Don't be the girl or guy everyone talks about the next day.

What to give

• Use the registry: China is a safe bet, Roney said. Don't feel compelled to buy those Bulldog lovers more UGA gear. If you must be creative, buy smaller items off the registry and bundle them together.

• Buy early: "Contrary to popular belief that you have a year to give a couple a wedding gift, it is really more appropriate to give the gift either before the wedding or no later than three months after," DiMasi said. If the registry has been stripped clean, consider a gift certificate from that store.

• Ship it: Bringing gifts to the wedding is a strong Southern tradition, but it presents an added burden to the couple. If you must bring something, Roney suggests a card with a mention or picture of the gift.

• Spend wisely: Really want to get the couple that $500 espresso machine? Partner with other guests for a group gift, Roney said. If you go solo, consider your relationship with the couple, not how much they are spending on their wedding. Close friends should plan on spending at least $100 ($200 per couple), she said. Otherwise, $50 to $75 is acceptable.