Therapist Dr. Frank Pittman believes virtually all cheaters deeply regret straying.

"Infidelity is the most devastating crisis for a family," said Pittman, one of more than 200 speakers at the three-day conference at the Marriott Marquis. "It creates an atmosphere of simmering anger, secrets and dishonesty," he says.

(ENLARGE)

3 THINGS TO DO IF YOU CHEAT Here are three tips about what to do if a spouse strays in a marriage: 1. Be honest with yourself: Don't blame your spouse. Take responsibility before it's too late. 2. Once a cheater, not always a cheater: A cheater who reveals the affair, answers questions, takes responsibility and is willing to take steps such as enrolling in therapy is most likely to go forward faithfully. 3. Stop the cycle: The best thing you can do for your kids is to stop. You don't want them to learn that cheating is acceptable, and you don't want infidelity to be a defining moment in their lives. (It will be if it causes a divorce.)

Some estimates suggest half of divorces involve infidelity. But Pittman, an Atlanta psychiatrist for more than four decades, says couples can take preventive steps. Here are some pointers:

1. Stay faithful yourself: If you don't want your spouse to stray, don't have an affair, either. Many affairs are sparked by revenge.

2. Don't marry a cheater: If your husband strayed from his former wife to be with you, then he could leave you for someone else.

3. Normalize lust: It's OK to be attracted to other people; just don't act on it. It's also acceptable to let your spouse know you find a celeb attractive. But don't let your eye wander checking out every hottie that walks by.

4. Don't share your marital woes with co-workers: They may be sick of hearing about it and say "If you don't like her, divorce her," just to be done with it. Or it can pull you and another disgruntled spouse closer together.

5. If you're thinking about having an affair, the best thing you can do is tell your spouse: "You can say, 'I have noticed we have not had sex in a year,' " says Pittman (who adds that any couple who goes longer than a week without sex, "has a crisis on their hands"). This way they can work on intimacy issues and possibly prevent the affair.

6. Stay off the computer: If you are intimately connected to someone online, that's a red flag. Focus more on the intimacy in your relationship at home. "I've counseled housewives where it's crazy how much of their time is wrapped up in the fantasy of a relationship. They are spending more time on that computer than a heroin addict does trying to get their fix."