Girls Night In

Friends trade their pricey dinners for slumber parties and game nights

The Atlanta Journal-Constitution

Sunday, February 08, 2009

One night a week, every week, for several years, Renee Rayles and her five girlfriends would hit the town for their beloved Girls Night Out.

They sipped fancy wines at The Grape, nibbled on sashimi at the Geisha House in Atlantic Station and even hit sports bars to catch big games.

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Allen Sullivan/aesullivan@ajc.com

Alisha Webster (from left), Shantrell Lewis, Evita Broughton, Lauren Derby, Darlene Crawford and Adenike Harris make an apple martini toast during their slumber party at Derby’s home. Broughton said she was wary of the idea at first but says ‘it was so much fun. It was like going back to middle school and having innocent, cheap fun.’

GIRLS NIGHTS IN-SIGHTS

A few ideas for a Girls Night In, courtesy of online party-planning site purpletrail.com:
  • "Sex and the City" Marathon: Rent the series and whip up some Cosmopolitans.
  • Spa night: Not just for manis and pedis. Have everyone bring a small sealable container and make your own sugar scrubs.
  • Start a Bunco group: All you need is a handful of dice and a group of women. (M&Ms are also good to have on hand.) Check out worldbunco.com for more information about the game.
  • Cut and create: Plan a scrapbooking or card-making night. Everyone can bring tools to share.
  • Make dinner together: Prepare a meal as a group. Or just do dessert.
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It wasn’t a cheap date — Rayles figures each outing cost her about $40, sometimes as much as $60 — but it seemed like an easy-to-rationalize expense, a well-deserved treat for the group of thirtysomething professional women.

But then the economy tanked, and half of the girls in Girls Night Out lost their jobs. Rayles, 32, a local actress and children’s clothing retailer, is employed but also feels the pinch.

For the group, going out was no longer an option. But none wanted to give up their weekly female bonding time. So last October, Girls Night Out became Girls Night In.

Now, every Sunday night, Rayles and her pals get together at her house in Smyrna. They tune in to “Desperate Housewives” and share an inexpensive bottle of wine affectionately known as “Two Buck Chuck.”

“I do miss going out, but as long as you are with your girlfriends dishin’ dirt, even over a cheap bottle of wine, it’s still entertaining,” Rayles said.

With the economy sputtering and discretionary spending taking a hit, some women are reinventing girl get-togethers, experts say. Rather than checking out the latest “It” place, some women are staying in to chat, watch reruns of “Sex and the City,” play Bunco or give each other facials.

Part of a bigger trend

At-home gatherings are part of a larger shift away from going out to eat.

Eating at sit-down restaurants is forecast to drop by 6 percent this year, according to Technomic, a Chicago-based restaurant research and consulting firm. (When numbers are adjusted for inflation, it’s even more sobering — an estimated drop of almost 7 percent in 2008 followed by an expected drop of 8 percent this year.)

Ron Paul, president of Technomic, said 2009 is on track to be the sharpest pullback in dining at restaurants since the group first started tracking it in 1972. Paul said the downshift in regular outings such as Girls Night Out is one of “many factors” adding up to a big whammy for the dining industry.

It doesn’t help, he said, that TV financial adviser Suze Orman recently challenged consumers to go a full month without eating out.

In the growth of stay-home activities — from spending time together over a meal or other activity from games to scrapbooking to pajama parties — Tracy Johnson, a cultural anthropologist and research director of Context-based Research Group in Baltimore, sees a return to the more basic elements of female bonding.

“What they are doing is they are stocking their tool kits and coming up with a whole new set of tools to get through these economic times,” Johnson said.

Sometimes, grown women are getting ideas from their childhood.

Evita Broughton of Atlanta recently received an e-mail invitation to a Girls Night In slumber party — “Movies, Martinis and Munchies.”

“At first, I thought, ‘I can’t even remember the last time I’ve gone to a pajama party.’ And I was almost embarrassed by the idea. But it was so much fun. It was like going back to middle school and having innocent, cheap fun. We made chocolate covered-strawberries. We played Twister and we stayed up talking until 3 in the morning!”

Under $10, 220 calories

Betsy Dietsch and some friends recently orchestrated a get-together around a clothing swap. Dietsch, a dietitian at the Southeast Dairy Industry Association, brought a low-fat fondue recipe to the party and returned home with a pair of designer jeans and a chocolate-brown Vera Bradley purse.

Later, she crunched the numbers on the bargain-priced evening. By her account, she consumed 220 calories, spent less than $10 and returned home with free bag of clothes and accessories.

“It was great. If we had gone to some new trendy restaurant, we would have spent at least $50,” said Dietsch, 37, who lives in Kennesaw. “And we had a fabulous time.”

Dietsch says she’s now planning a series of Girls Nights In that will tap into her friends’ talents. Each will take a turn giving a lesson on something she is good at: one would do a healthy cooking demonstration; the tax consultant would offer filing tips, and the one who crochets would teach her friends how. “One of my friends asked me, ‘Would we do the activity or would we just sit around and drink wine?’ And I said, ‘Who cares, as long as we are together?’ “

In to stay?

About six years ago, Bonnie Ross-Parker started hosting “Joy of Connecting” networking dinner parties at her house in Smyrna.

And on a recent evening, more than a dozen women (some are Ross-Parker’s friends, others learned about it on the Internet) seeking help with budding business ideas gathered over a meal of spinach turnovers, green salad and ginger ale punch. Among them was Linda Cappelletti of Austell, who took a buyout from Delta Air Lines last year and is now working as a Mary Kay makeup consultant.

“It’s so comfortable and casual here and you know what to expect,” said Cappelletti, who lounged in an oversized chair. “We come to share ideas, and then we stay and just talk for hours.”

Even if the economy swings the other way in a year or two, Johnson thinks that Girls Nights In are here to stay.

Technomics’ Paul also thinks it will be some time before the trend fades, but he believes that women eventually will be lured to leave home and seek out that big-dollar glass of wine again.

“They’ll want to get away from the kids and get out of the house,” he said. “And they’ll want to people-watch.”

Rayles admits she misses the energy and excitement of going out. But she also sees the upside of staying home.

“I feel like I have a different perspective on it now. You don’t have to spend a whole lot of money to have a good time,” she said. “And it’s nice not to have to pay for valet parking.”

And there’s another bonus: “I don’t have to worry about men following me to the bathroom.”


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