Candy bar obsessions: Just say yes!
By SANDRA HUTTON
For the Journal-Constitution
Q: I keep seeing news reports on television about the dangers of too much candy. They say it can be addictive. What do you advise?
A: Stop watching television. It can be addictive.
Q: Is it healthy to have a deep attraction to candy bars?
A: Absolutely. The deeper, the better. As we all know instinctively, candy bars are an ideal health food. Why else would Mother Nature have created them?
Q: Why do you recommend candy bars?
A: Have you ever tried to carry a blueberry pie in your purse? (Well, sure, we've all tried a few times, but eventually we learn.)
Q: How do you know when your fondness for candy bars is becoming an obsessive neurosis?
A: If your idea of a spiritual retreat is a pilgrimage to Hershey, Pa., there's still hope. But when you catch yourself stealing Kit Kats from your 5-year-old's Halloween stash, you're in trouble.
Q: What does it mean when you keep having dreams about a bubble gum cigar?
A: Sometimes a bubble gum cigar is just a bubble gum cigar.
Q: Is it possible to overcome a candy bar obsession?
A: Certainly. Just say to yourself every day over and over, "I will not think about the sweet, crunchy lusciousness of candy bars, their scrumptious, creamy deliciousness melting on my tongue until I'm transported into a sublime realm of ecstatic bliss." That ought to do it.
Q: Do you have any other advice for people who can't stop thinking about candy bars?
A: Yes. Take two Butterfingers and call me in the morning.
Sandra Hutton is a Marietta psychologist.
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