"A few minutes later, sitting on the ground beside Mama's grave, I found myself 'talking with her' as I enjoyed this messy but delicious lunch," Meyers wrote in the introduction to her book, "A Bite off Mama's Plate" (Bergen and Garvey, $24.95). "I knew if she'd been able to eat with me, we'd have been talking about that barbecue pork sandwich and coleslaw -- and relishing it."

The graveside picnic is just one of many ways Meyers, a professor of literature and language at Metropolitan State University in Minnesota, has stayed "in touch" with her mother and but one example of how strong the connections can be that form between mothers and their families through food. Even in this age, when mothers are often too busy to cook, Meyers says, mealtime continues to generate memories and connect generations.

When Scott Peacock, chef at Watershed in Decatur, began working on a cookbook with Edna Lewis, a New York City chef who made a name for herself as an expert in country cooking, the culinary cohorts quickly found themselves reaching back through their memories to the foods of their childhood.

Lewis, 87, has said that her mother had been too busy on the rural Virginia farm to teach her how to cook. But she and her five brothers and sisters grew up churning butter and tending the garden, nurturing an understanding of food that would guide her through her career. Lewis has long said her desire to make food that "tastes like it used to" drove her in her work.

She found a kindred spirit in Peacock, an Alabama native, though she had to encourage him. "I enjoyed the food I grew up on, but I never really asked my mother to teach me," Peacock said. "And I hadn't really looked at that food as anything special until I began talking with Miss Lewis."

The pair traded memories and compared notes on what each had experienced at his and her mother's and grandmother's Southern tables. For her, that included vegetables from open-pollinated seeds and air-dried quail; for him, numerous field peas and lots of seafood. Then, they experimented in the kitchen to come up with recipes that tasted as close to their memories as they could get.

That effort is reflected in their book, "The Gift of Southern Cooking" (Knopf, $29.95), and in our Mother's Day menu. The baked chicken recipe evolved from a Virginia old hearth recipe; the asparagus recipe is based on how Lewis remembers her mother's preparation.

While Lewis and Peacock found themselves re-creating dishes, for many others the connection between generations is strong because they have actual recipes from their mothers and grandmothers. And the luckiest learned by their mother's side. Meyers surveyed and interviewed numerous women for her book (which focuses on mother/daughter food connections) and heard numerous stories about treasured recipes.

Some "interviewed" their grandmothers to write down instructions for those dishes that had not been written down. Others "inherited recipes," often cherished as much for being written in their mothers' hands as for the recipes themselves. Some mothers help preserve their legacy by creating cookbooks or recipe files of family favorites and passing them on.

Beyond recipes, Meyers recounts in her book how many women hold items such as cast-iron skillets, cookie cutters, coffeepots, party trays and other kitchen and table objects dear because they've been passed down from grandmother or mother. (The University of Minnesota Extension Service so recognizes the value of such heirlooms, it titled an educational packet "Who Gets Grandma's Yellow Pie Plate? Transferring Non-Titled Property.")

At one focus group during Meyers' research, a woman (identified in the book as Jeanne E.) spoke of her connection to baking equipment passed down from her grandmother: "It's so funny. In my mind, I need this bowl and there's a certain wooden spoon, and then I have to have Gram's two towels, and that's what I use to cover the bowl. There's that ritual. . . . It's maniacal, but that's what I believe makes it turn out every time."

Most of us have at least one similar story, demonstrating that food is more than fuel, but, as Meyers concludes, it's also a "symbol of joy and abundance in life -- a way to cherish a place, a person, a moment in time."

'M' is for a most memorable meal

We know that Mother's Day is one of the biggest days of the year for dining out. But why not show Mom how much you really love her and cook her a nice meal instead? These recipes all include some special touches that will make her think she raised a gourmet cook.

	Styling by JEANNE BESSER / Special; photo by WILLIAM BERRY / Staff Chicken Baked with Delicate Herbs and Bread Crumbs, Cardamom-Scented Whipped Sweet Potatoes and Skillet Asparagus

SIDE DISH

Cardamom-Scented Whipped Sweet Potatoes

Makes 6 servings

Preparation time: 15 minutes

Cooking time: 1 1/2 to 2 hours

Slow cooking gives sweet potatoes more intense flavor. Add enough cream to give them a silky look and feel. Depending on the starch content of the potatoes, you may need between 1/3 to 1 cup of cream.

2 1/2 pounds sweet potatoes

1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, at room temperature

1/3 cup heavy cream, heated

1/2 teaspoon ground cardamom

1/4 teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg

1/2 teaspoon salt

Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Put potatoes on a foil-, parchment- or Silpat-lined baking sheet. Bake for 1 1/2 to 2 hours, or until very soft and tender. Remove from oven and cool slightly. Peel the warm potatoes and put them in the bowl of an electric mixer. Beat the potatoes until mashed. Add butter, cream, cardamom, nutmeg and 1/2 teaspoon salt. Whip until smooth and creamy, adding more cream or salt if necessary.

Per serving: 328 calories (percent of calories from fat, 56), 3 grams protein, 34 grams carbohydrates, 4 grams fiber, 21 grams fat, 59 milligrams cholesterol, 25 milligrams sodium.

SIDE DISH

Skillet Asparagus

Makes 6 servings

Preparation time: 5 minutes

Cooking time: 10 minutes

Edna Lewis' mother cooked asparagus using this simple but winning method. Timing will vary based on the thickness of the asparagus.

2 tablespoons unsalted butter

2 pounds asparagus, trimmed

Salt and freshly ground pepper

In a heavy skillet with a tight-fitting lid, melt butter until foaming. Lay asparagus in the pan and shake it from side to side to coat spears gently with butter. Cover tightly and cook over medium heat for 3 minutes. Check asparagus and turn to make sure it's cooking evenly and doesn't burn. Cook 2 to 5 minutes longer or until tender but still crisp and bright green. Season with salt and pepper.

Per serving: 52 calories (percent of calories from fat, 62), 2 grams protein, 4 grams carbohydrates, 2 grams fiber, 4 grams fat, 10 milligrams cholesterol, 2 milligrams sodium.

MAIN DISH

Chicken Baked With Delicate Herbs and Bread Crumbs

Makes 4-6 servings Preparation time: 20 minutes, plus 1 hour or more to marinate

Cooking time: 45-55 minutes

The unusual "marinade" of butter and fresh herbs imparts rich flavor to the chicken, and additional herbs infuse the bread-crumb coating. If you can't find all the varieties of herbs called for, use more of whatever you have. If refrigerating the chicken overnight, warm it slightly to melt the butter before rolling it in crumbs.

1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, melted

3 tablespoons finely chopped parsley, divided

3 tablespoons finely chopped tarragon, divided

3 tablespoons finely chopped chervil, divided

3 tablespoons finely chopped chives, divided

2 cloves garlic, minced

1 1/2 teaspoons salt, divided

1/2 teaspoon plus 1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

1 (3 1/2-pound) chicken, cut into 8 pieces, rinsed and patted dry

2 1/2 cups soft bread crumbs

Butter for greasing dish

In a shallow dish, add butter, 1 tablespoon each parsley, tarragon, chervil and chives, garlic, 1 teaspoon salt and 1/2 teaspoon pepper and stir to blend. Add chicken pieces, turning to coat. Cover the dish and marinate for 1 hour at room temperature or refrigerate overnight.

Meanwhile, in a bowl, mix the remaining 2 tablespoons parsley, tarragon, chervil and chives, bread crumbs and remaining 1/2 teaspoon salt and 1/4 teaspoon pepper.

Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Spread the seasoned bread crumbs on a piece of wax paper. Discard marinade. Roll each chicken piece in the bread crumbs to coat. In a large, lightly buttered baking dish, arrange the chicken pieces so they are not touching. Bake for 45 to 55 minutes, or until the crumbs are golden and the chicken juices run clear.

Per serving (based on 4 servings): 888 calories (percent of calories from fat, 60), 56 grams protein, 31 grams carbohydrates, 1 gram fiber, 58 grams fat, 288 milligrams cholesterol, 813 milligrams sodium.

Per serving (based on 6 servings): 592 calories (percent of calories from fat, 60), 37 grams protein, 21 grams carbohydrates, 1 gram fiber, 39 grams fat, 192 milligrams cholesterol, 542 milligrams sodium.

SALAD

Salad of Cucumber and Radishes

Makes 6 servings

Preparation time: 20 minutes

Scott Peacock likes to mix different varieties of radishes from local farmers. If your selection is limited, use whatever you can find.

2 tablespoons granulated sugar

1 teaspoon salt

1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

1 heaping teaspoon Dijon mustard

2 tablespoons cider vinegar

1/4 cup extra-virgin olive oil

3 large red-meat radishes

4 Icicle or Easter Egg radishes

4 large Kirby or pickling cucumbers

2 bunches (about 4 ounces) arugula

2 bunches (about 4 ounces) watercress

In a bowl, combine sugar, salt, pepper, mustard and cider vinegar until sugar and salt dissolve. Slowly whisk in the olive oil.

Using a sharp knife, slice the radishes as thinly as possible into rounds. Trim the ends of the cucumbers and slice them thinly lengthwise into ribbons. Soak the radishes and cucumber in ice water for 10 minutes to crisp them. Remove and blot dry with paper towels. Toss in a large bowl with the arugula, watercress and dressing. Adjust seasonings if necessary.

Per serving: 129 calories (percent of calories from fat, 62), 2 grams protein, 11 grams carbohydrates, 2 grams fiber, 9 grams fat, no cholesterol, 381 milligrams sodium.

DESSERT

Basic Pie Crust

Makes enough for a 9-inch pie crust, for 8 servings Preparation time: 15 minutes, plus 2 hours refrigeration

1 1/2 cups unbleached all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon kosher salt

1/2 teaspoon granulated sugar

1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, cut into 8 pieces and frozen for 10 minutes

2 tablespoons lard, cut into 2 pieces and frozen for 10 minutes

4 to 6 tablespoons ice water

Put flour, salt and sugar on a large cutting board and mix them with your fingers to blend. Put the frozen butter and lard on top of the flour mixture and use a large kitchen knife or pastry cutter to cut the fats quickly into the flour until the mixture resembles coarse meal, with some butter and lard pieces still a large as 1/2 inch in diameter. Ideally, half the fat should be cut finely into the flour and the other half left in larger chunks.

Working quickly, gather the flour-fat mixture into a mound and use your fingers to draw a trench lengthwise through the center. Sprinkle 1 tablespoon of the ice water down the length of the trench and with spread, upturned fingers, fluff the flour so that it absorbs the water. Redraw the trench and continue incorporating the ice water by tablespoons in the same manner. After you have incorporated 4 tablespoons water, the dough should begin to clump together in large pieces. If there are any unmassed areas, sprinkle them lightly with droplets of water and mix as before.

Gather the dough into a mass with a pastry scraper, and, working quickly, smear a hunk of dough roughly the size of an egg by pushing it away from you with the heel of your hand. Continue with pieces of dough until the entire mass has been processed (about six smears in all). When finished, gather the dough together with a pastry scraper and repeat the process. Re-gather the dough, quickly shape it into a flat disc and wrap it in a double thickness of plastic wrap, pressing firmly with the palm of your hand to flatten the wrapped dough further and bind it. Refrigerate at least 2 hours or overnight before rolling and using.

DESSERT

Country-Style Rhubarb Tart

Makes 8 servings

Preparation time: 20 minutes

Cooking time: 35-45 minutes

Serve this free-form tart with Rich Custard Sauce. Peacock likes to add cardamom pods to sugar cubes to flavor them. He also likes to top the pie crust with crumbled sugar cubes because the sugar retains its shape better.

1 recipe Basic Pie Crust (recipe above)

6 cups rhubarb, sliced on the bias 1/2 inch thick

1/3 to 2/3 cup granulated sugar

2 tablespoons all-purpose flour

1/2 teaspoon kosher salt

1/2 teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg

3 tablespoons unsalted butter, cut into small pieces and chilled

1/2 cup crushed sugar cubes

Preheat oven to 425 degrees.

On a lightly floured surface, roll the pastry out until it's roughly 14 by 16 inches. Fold the rolled pastry in half and use a pastry brush to brush off any flour from the bottom. Fold in half again so that the pastry is folded into quarters and brush the remaining two sides to remove all excess flour. Unfold the pastry onto a baking sheet lined with either parchment paper or a Silpat liner and put into the refrigerator or freezer to chill while you prepare the other ingredients for assembly. (Pastry can be prepared the day before and carefully wrapped and refrigerated or frozen.)

Taste the rhubarb for tartness, to judge how much sugar is needed. In a small mixing bowl, stir together sugar, flour, salt and nutmeg. Sprinkle a third of the sugar mixture over the rolled-out pastry, starting in the center and extending out to within 2 inches of the edge. Arrange half the rhubarb over the sugar, then sprinkle half the remaining sugar mixture over the rhubarb. Layer with the remaining rhubarb and finish by sprinkling the rest of the sugar mixture over the top. Scatter 2 tablespoons butter over the rhubarb and gently fold the edges of the pastry up over the filling. Place the remaining 1 tablespoon butter bits on the pastry, followed by the crushed sugar cubes over the crust.

Bake in the middle of the oven for 10 minutes, or until the pastry just begins to brown. Reduce heat to 375 degrees and bake for 25 to 30 minutes or until the filling in the tart bubbles in the center. Remove from the oven and cool for 5 minutes. Slide the tart with the Silpat or parchment onto a cooling rack. Use a long, flat spatula to separate the tart gently from the Silpat or parchment, then carefully slip the Silpat or parchment out from under the tart. Serve warm or at room temperature.

Per serving: 395 calories (percent of calories from fat, 44), 4 grams protein, 53 grams carbohydrates, 2 grams fiber, 19 grams fat, 46 milligrams cholesterol, 359 milligrams sodium.

DESSERT

Rich Custard Sauce

Makes 2 1/2 cups, for 10-20 servings

Preparation time: 15 minutes

Cooking time: 20 minutes

Similar to a crème anglaise, this creamy sauce is a perfect counterbalance to the tartness of the rhubarb. Use caution when tempering the eggs and when adding the mixture back to reheat; do not let the custard reach a simmer or it will curdle.

1 cup milk

1 vanilla bean, twisted to bruise but not split

4 egg yolks

1/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons granulated sugar

1 cup heavy cream

2 teaspoons vanilla extract

1/4 teaspoon salt

In a medium saucepan, heat the milk and vanilla bean to just below the boiling point. Remove from heat, cover and let sit for 10 minutes for the vanilla to infuse the milk.

While the milk is steeping, in a bowl whisk together the egg yolks and sugar.

Remove vanilla bean from milk and slowly whisk the hot milk into the egg mixture, a bit at a time, until the eggs warm. Transfer mixture back to the saucepan and return the pan to the stove. Cook over medium-low heat, stirring gently but constantly, until the custard coats the back of a spoon. Remove from heat and stir in cream. Pour through a fine-mesh strainer and stir in vanilla and salt. Cool and refrigerate.

Per serving (based on 10 servings): 149 calories (percent of calories from fat, 68), 2 grams protein, 10 grams carbohydrates, no fiber, 11 grams fat, 120 milligrams cholesterol, 77 milligrams sodium.

Per serving (based on 20 servings): 75 calories (percent of calories from fat, 68), 1 gram protein, 5 grams carbohydrates, no fiber, 6 grams fat, 60 milligrams cholesterol, 38 milligrams sodium.