First Person: Jerry Farber savors every moment with his passion

By Adrianne Murchison

For the AJC

Comedy has outlived most things in Jerry Farber’s life. It outlived his early career as a salesman of women’s sportswear, three marriages and no doubt many friendships.

"I think I did love my public more than anything,” said Farber, 72. “Because if I gave [audiences] less than totally me I would not stand a chance of getting the next job. All that stood between me and someone with a bigger name was my own energy. That’s all we’ve got, right?”

Farber takes his comedy on the road about 40 weeks per year. On Thursday, he headlines a comedy show at the Concourse Athletic Club in Sandy Springs. Even through the opening and closing of live comedy clubs around metro Atlanta, including his own, Farber has been steadfast in his craft, learning to persevere on nights that he bombed at his stand-up routine. But, Farber’s world shifted about 10 years ago, when he says stand-up quickly paled in comparison to a new passion – his son, Joshua. Farber, who lives near Piedmont Park, describes his love for 10-year-old Joshua as a Monet of beautiful colors.

My son has become essentially my life. When he was born everybody around me was celebrating grandchildren. His mother and I were together about 12 years and we got pregnant with Joshua. Everything changed for me. I’m a big Tar Heel fan, I went to North Carolina and even the games became duller to me. Everything became duller and the idea of being a father became magnified, intensified and substantiated. It was almost like a reason to have stayed alive this long.

I had thought my day for having children was long past. I do believe the universe has gifts. And sometimes we get them. I’m more loving, more humane and compassionate. I’m not chasing a career. I’m thankful for every moment.

You know how little boys want their fathers to be strong? Joshua told me one day that one of his buddies thought that I was real old -- and he’s got great friends. He sees blacks, whites, straight [people] as just humans. He doesn’t distinguish, except if they are nice or not nice.

I said, “Joshua, you tell your friends that your father can handle any of their fathers. I used to wrestle and I don’t go down easy. I’m in good shape.”

So he told his friend, whose father played football at Auburn University, what I said. He was a young stud. And one day when we picked up the kids at the same time he said, “Jerry, my son said that you told Joshua that you can handle any of us.’” And he laughed. He’s a nice guy. He said, “You wrestle? But you’re old.”

I said, “What I didn’t tell Joshua is that I no longer wrestle but I have a handgun. That settles things a lot quicker.” We laughed and he got the whole point. I get that boys just want to feel secure and know their fathers are going to be around. As you get older every day is like a minefield. The pain [I might have]  in my head might not be just a headache, it could be worse.

Through Joshua I look at all kids in a different way. You look for signs of what they may be like later. And Roberta [Joshua’s mother] says, “Don’t try to rush him and see what his character might be like.”

I find myself doing that because I may not be around to see who this kid will be. To hear that he would have manners; he would have empathy; he would genuinely be a caring human on this planet. And I would, of course, be proud.

There’s hardly anything more important than other humans. When you have your own and try to create a caring responsible loving human being … It just about is full time. If you’re not there all the time, you’re thinking about it.

Every time Joshua and I watch a movie or we are doing something and he laughs, that’s about as good as it gets.

“Jerry Farber and Friends”

Courtside Grille, 8 p.m. Thursday, April 22. The show also features Henry Welch, Dan Mangini, Mike Sanders and Johnny Esposito. 6:30-8 p.m. Happy Hour. $15. Includes appetizers, buffet and free pass to athletic club. Reservations required. Concourse Athletic Club, 8 Concourse Pkwy., N.E., Sandy Springs. 770-698-1650, www.concourseathleticclub.com.