Learn how to overcome the ache of unemployment
For the AJC
Sunday, November 09, 2008
As a human resource professional, Deborah Marshall knows how to write a résumé and conduct a job search. She just hasn’t had to do it for herself since she started her career nine years ago. But on Sept. 30, her job at a nonprofit organization that serves the homeless was eliminated due to budget cuts.
“I was never out of a job before,” Marshall said. “It’s challenging, but I’m optimistic.” While loss of income is a major stress for most job seekers, the emotional part is even harder, Marshall said.
Photos by Leita Cowart / Special
Debby Stone coaches people who feel useless when they are temporarily out of work. That includes many smart, successful people.
Leita Cowart/Photographer
Hallie Crawford is a certified career coach in Atlanta.
Marshall took advantage of two complimentary professional coaching sessions offered through her membership in ProWIN, a professional women’s networking group in Atlanta. She got encouragement and guidance from Debby Stone, a certified professional coach with InterVision Group and co-president of the Georgia Coach Association.
After taking a week off to unwind, Marshall spent time journaling “what if” scenarios, decided to pursue a similar type of job while exploring another long-held goal, to go to law school. Stone helped her come up with 15 words to describe her strengths, which reminded her of what she had to offer future employers. Then she got busy.
Each morning, she takes quiet time to read and journal. “Then I exercise to get the endorphins going. From late morning to midafternoon, I do job search activities, and in the late afternoon and evening, I run errands and study for the LSAT,” she said. “I acknowledge what I’ve done every day and what I want to accomplish the next. It really helps to look back and see that you’ve accomplished something.”
To combat the isolation that job loss often brings, Marshall began attending career ministry meetings at Roswell United Methodist Church and helping others with their résumés. She also attended job fairs, continued to judge cheerleading competitions, took a faith-based workshop, volunteered and formed a support group with three other job seekers.
Marshall’s balanced approach is what many career coaches recommend for job seekers. “The job market is tough right now. If you’re out of a job, the search is your occupation, but it shouldn’t be your whole life,” Stone said. “When you take care of yourself by doing things that are not job related it helps your outlook.”
Here are some pointers for decreasing the stress of a job search:
» Acknowledge that you are in a new stage: “Accept the fact that a job search is a process — a journey over time with highs and lows,” said Phyllis Carrera, life/career coach and CEO of HumanArts in Atlanta. “Remind yourself that you’ve gotten through other job/life transitions, and you will succeed again if you stay committed and focused.”
“Positive thinking is key, but you should never discount your true feelings, including the negative ones.” Fear, rejection, anger, sadness and loneliness are all natural feelings of being laid off. “Once you acknowledge what you feel, it’s easier to move on. When we don’t, we can get stuck in a downward spiral of anxiety and/or depression,” she said.
» Step back and reflect on your career path: “People panic, dive into the job search and think they have to take the first thing that comes along. Take some time to think about what you want, what your ideal job would look like. Then set some goals,” Stone said. “Give yourself some quiet time to think things through. It could be while journaling, gardening, walking or fishing.”
“Many times after a job loss, people will take stock of their lives overall. This time gives you an opportunity to make changes in your life, so that instead of your life leading you — you’re leading your life,” said Hallie Crawford, an Atlanta certified career coach and author of “Flying Solo: Career Transition Tips for Singles.”
» Stay positive: “Reviewing your past accomplishments can boost your confidence. Remind yourself that being laid off isn’t always about you — it might be the economy, the company or some other reason. Ask yourself what you learned from the experience and what you’d do differently next time,” Crawford said. Work is only part of who you are. Focus on your other roles in life — dad, soccer coach, church volunteer — and put your energy into those things to give you a sense of purpose outside of work, she added.
» Enlist help: “A job loss can leave you without a sense of purpose and a loss of identity,” Crawford said. “You’re used to companionship and social interaction, and the sudden isolation can be depressing. Get up and get out of the house.
“Talk over your feelings with people you trust, people who will be supportive and positive about what you want to do. Avoid doomsayers who will just bring you down,” Crawford said. Spend time with friends, family or an outside career or life coach. A good place to find a coach is through the Georgia Coach Association. Tell all your social and professional contacts that you are seeking work. Be specific about what kind of work you need.
Use the outplacement services your company offers. And this may be the time to invest in a better résumé or a course to give you additional skills.
There are many free resources available through church, professional and nonprofit groups. “Participate in a support group and allow others to build you up — and hold you accountable to doing the necessary steps to find that next job. Expand your network. Find other people facing similar challenges and you’ll feel less alone,” Carrera said.
» Revise your budget: “It’s important to manage expenses to reduce anxiety and financial insecurity. Revise your budget and stick to it,” Carrera said.
» Establish a schedule: “Have a daily and weekly schedule for your job search with specific tasks to perform every day,” Crawford said. Set up a search command center where you have access to a phone and computer and won’t be distracted. Spend regular time there, but take breaks. “Do things that will help keep you energized — going for a walk, working out at the gym, volunteering or having lunch with a friend,” Crawford said.
» Keep living: “Some people feel so guilty about not working that they don’t enjoy having time with their family,” Stone said. “This is a great time to focus on relationships and spend more time with people you care about. Time is a gift, so do something that gives you pleasure every day.”