Q: I am feeling completely overwhelmed by all my responsibilities. I have worked my way up from sales representative to regional manager in a rapidly growing business. My sales team consistently leads the company.

However, I also have four children under the age of 10, and I want to give the best to them. I have considered stepping down from management, but then everything I've built will go into someone else's hands. I also will lose a lot of money.

Right now, I feel burned out, especially because my job requires a lot of travel. I also volunteer for many church and school activities. After investing so much time in my career, should I just give everything up?

MARIE G. McINTYRE

OFFICE COACH

A: Wanting it all is natural, but having it all is usually impossible. Each of us has only a limited amount of time and energy. Determining the best use of your personal allotment is a question of values and priorities.

If you worry about shortchanging your kids, then you need to reduce your travel and spend more time at home. But that doesn't mean you have to abandon your career.

As the leader of the top sales group, you have some leverage. The company won't want to lose you. So talk with your boss about how to strike a better balance between work and family. There may be more options than you think.

One change seems obvious, however. With four children and a demanding career, you probably need to ditch the volunteer activities and carve out a little time for yourself.

Q: For the last two years, the law firm where I work as a paralegal has had many problems. Going in every day is depressing, because of the pervasive hangdog atmosphere.

My boss is under tremendous pressure and treats his staff badly. His temper creates a lot of stress.

I think it may be time to move on. However, if you have any suggestions for surviving here, I will try them. This was my dream job, and I deeply would regret leaving.

A: Before making any rash decisions, consider two key questions. First, how permanent is this downturn? If the adverse circumstances reverse themselves, your dream job may re-emerge.

Second, could you re-create your ideal job elsewhere? Appealing positions may exist at other firms, so there's no harm in exploring your options.

To cope with the current tensions, minimize the time you spend with cranky, complaining colleagues. The inevitable emotional contagion will make you feel worse.

Focus all your attention on work, and try not to be distracted by the negative vibes. Constantly remind yourself that your boss's grouchy demeanor has nothing to do with you.

If you decide to depart, scrutinize prospective employers carefully. People who desperately flee one toxic workplace sometimes jump right into another.

- Marie G. McIntyre is an Atlanta-based workplace coach. Her weekly column is syndicated by Knight Ridder/Tribune News Service. Send questions at www.yourofficecoach.com.