Have you ever been fired? If so, you're not alone. Professional speaker and photographer Phil Parker's message resonates with workers when he tells them he's been "hired, fired, acquired, merged, purged, downsized, rightsized . . . but never capsized."
In his mid-50s, Parker left a job as managing director of a large technology corporation for a chance to build up an importing company in Washington, D.C.
 Photos by LEITA COWART/Special |
| Phil Parker, CEO of PGP Associates and owner of Cheap Shots photography studio, was let go from an importing company. He then launched two new careers. |
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| Phil Rockwell, a career counselor with Georgia State University's Career Services, talks with finance major Arielle Wiltshire-Scott about careers. Rockwell says firings are 'a reality of a global economy' and workers should be prepared. |
He was pouring his talents into the work, then awoke one day to find "the president had sold the company and never even told me," said Parker, CEO of PGP Associates and owner of Cheap Shots photography studio.
"I had a pity party for about 40 days, until my wife finally asked me, 'So, what do you want to do with the rest of your life?' "
Good question.
"Most people who are working don't have careers. They are working at jobs, and they don't like them," Parker said. "If you are working at a job and not enjoying it, you are doing yourself and your company a disservice. Getting fired might be the best thing that could happen."
After a job loss is a great time to take a look at yourself and what you want, he said.
"There's a big difference in earning a living and creating a life worth living," Parker said.
When he mentors people going through work/life transitions, he shares his formula for success, which includes taking risks and action to find work that fits and a better life. For example, you might have to go back to school. You'll also need to get comfortable with change.
"Losing a job isn't a change that feels comfortable," Parker said.
Expect finding a new position to take more time than you think, and it definitely will take action. "Nothing happens without action," Parker said.
When Parker found himself out of a job, he needed a new plan. Knowing that he had years of work experience and a gift for storytelling, Parker began exploring a career as a speaker.
"I took drama classes at the Alliance Theatre. I took stand-up comedy classes at the Punchline [comedy club], and I spoke for free at numerous Rotary and Kiwanis Club luncheons. I built a foundation so that I could eventually set my fee," Parker said.
He also took photography classes and started a photography business — two new careers after 55.
"Am I happy? Absolutely," Parker said.
One step at a time
"Being fired is a jarring experience, one that can shake you to the core," said Debby Stone, professional coach and president of InterVision Group, a professional coaching firm in Atlanta.
The first step is to talk about the experience with a friend, trusted colleague or professional coach. Stone knows that people need to purge the negative emotions before they can map out plans.
"Journaling can be a good exercise at this point. You can just let 'er rip and say all the things on paper that you wish you could say to your former boss," Stone said.
With the negative emotions spent, you can begin to reflect on what went wrong and the lessons learned.
"That can be a jumping-off point for planning a job that will be a better fit. This is a good time to dream about what's possible, to create a vision of what you really want," Stone said.
She advises her clients to set a time limit for "feeling the negative feelings," so that they move beyond the "what happened" to the "what's next."
Nothing personal . . .
Getting over a firing is harder when you loved the job, as Tory Johnson, CEO of Women for Hire, often tells audiences. At 22, she was fired from NBC News.
"I was a publicist for Jane Pauley, Maria Shriver and others. I loved it and was great at it, but then a new president was hired," Johnson said.
The president told Johnson that new bosses liked to put their own people in place and fired her.
"He told me — and I can still hear his words — 'There's a big world out there. I suggest you go explore it.' I thought my career was over," Johnson said.
She spent two months feeling scared, humiliated, ashamed and resentful before figuring out that it wasn't about her personal worth. It was a professional decision.
"I had worked hard [and] given it my all, and I was good. Once I realized that truth, I was no longer intimidated or embarrassed to call colleagues and start networking. That led to a job in communications with Nickelodeon," Johnson said. "I was lucky at a young age to learn that none of us is guaranteed work longevity or a paycheck. If you're fired, you aren't the first and won't be the last. The important thing is how you choose to deal with it."
Moving past
As a former outplacement consultant, Suzie Price, principal of Priceless Professional Development, has helped thousands through the fired/laid off transition.
"Those who are most successful — who land a position as good [as] or better than their last — do two things well," Price said. They practice self-assessment and network so that they don't lose momentum or miss hidden job opportunities.
"When you're not clear about what you want, you have no direction and your job search can seem overwhelming," Price said.
She suggests that people write out lists of their perfect, acceptable and unacceptable jobs — complete with responsibilities, types of organizations, work environments and compensation — so that they are more focused when writing résumés, interviewing and networking.
"The clearer you are about what you want, the easier it is to know where to spend your time, who you should contact and where you should network," Price said.
Being fired can teach you important career lessons, as corporate trainer, speaker and writer Myra McElhaney learned from a nasty termination experience in the early 1990s. She was working in a small sales and training division of a Fortune 500 company, when a new president changed the tone of the company and began berating everyone on the sales team.
"A friend helped me see the writing on the wall by saying, 'You know you're not going to be there very long,' " McElhaney said.
She learned to pay close attention to what was going on in the company. Six months later, a round of negative meetings, letters and reprimands started.
"This was before downsizing and rightsizing, so half of the sales force was fired for cause. They had to make the case that we weren't doing our job," McElhaney said. "I had always been promoted and earned compliments, and suddenly they were nit-picking and complaining about everything I did."
Realizing that she eventually would be fired, McElhaney decided to stick it out for the severance package. Here's what she learned.
"Have a confidant outside of work. You need a place to go and let off steam," McElhaney said. "As soon as you get a job, update your résumé and have a Plan B. I realized that I liked training and could do it as an independent consultant. I knew where I was headed."
Because the loss of a paycheck can be devastating, she advises workers to have a walk-away (emergency) fund. It will add a financial level of comfort to the job search afterward.
"Keep a success file of 'great job' letters or commendations. You need evidence that you were a good employee, and it will help build your self-esteem," McElhaney said. "You also need a life outside of work, so that your entire identity isn't your job. In times of change, focus on what doesn't change: family, friendships or faith."
How can I explain?
Downsizing is common, and being fired is not as big a stigma as it used to be, but you always should have solid references (other than your last boss) and an impressive résumé, the experts say. Never write that you've been fired. If you're asked, tell the truth, but make it as neutral as possible, such as "difference of personality" or "work situation/culture changed." Don't bad-mouth your former boss. It reflects poorly on you.
If you were fired for cause, be prepared to talk about adjustments that you have made, mistakes you don't plan to repeat and what you've learned.
"You want to look like a student who has learned a lesson, rather than a victim," Johnson said.
A fact of life
"Often, the firing has nothing to do with you. It's a reality of a global economy," said Phil Rockwell, a career counselor with University Career Services at Georgia State University. "Companies get bought and merged, and people [are] let go to make the bottom line look good."
Employees need to keep their résumés updated and stay involved with industry associations.
"You need to have your network in place and be able to reach out and touch someone," he said. "When you talk to people, ask specifically for what you want — not just a good job, but a job in airline logistics, for example."
Stay proactive and keep your attitude positive.
Changing jobs, changing careers and, sometimes, being let go are the norms for today's work force.
"Once employed, don't think that you're set for life," Rockwell said. "Do a good job, keep upgrading your skills and stay in touch with those who helped you along the way."