A reader in a Southern state e-mailed, quoting a column in which I wrote, "With so many work options available, it's not logical to stay in a bad job."

The reader, Mary, wrote: "I'm 59 years old and weigh 300 pounds. I feel like there are no work options available for me, and I feel stuck in my bad job. Other than losing weight, do you have any advice or encouragement for me?"

It's hard not to feel compassion for this worker. One has to assume that, if weight loss were going to happen in this case, it would have by now. In lieu of growing younger or slimmer, is staying in a bad job her only option?

Of course you know my answer will be "no." Staying in a bad job is never the only option, and only rarely is it the best option. With a few exceptions (such as staying put while finishing a degree), suffering in silence at work is just not a choice I can advocate.

But what of Mary's situation? Isn't she better off sticking with her bad job for three or six years until she's eligible for retirement?

Well, that's certainly a choice some people make. But Mary wants something better, and I believe she can get it. As for hanging on for three or six years . . . for heaven's sake, those are years of someone's life we're talking about.

I don't know what Mary's job is, but I'm going to dive in with advice that fits, regardless of the career path. If you're feeling stuck, these ideas might work for you.

1. Make the current job better. Talk to the people making you miserable, ask for a new assignment, change your hours . . . If there's any chance at all to improve your current situation, take it.

2. Evaluate your skills. Are you a good communicator? Below average in your computer skills? How do you know? To get an outside perspective, see whether the career counseling center at the local community college offers low-cost assessments, or talk with a career counselor.

AMY LINDGREN

WORKING STRATEGIES

3. Add or upgrade a skill. Whether you take a software refresher course or an entire degree program, part of the benefit will come from the training and part from building your confidence. One terrific option is to attend Toastmasters meetings. You'll be amazed at the mountains you can conquer after you strengthen public-speaking skills.

4. Work with what you have. If you have a disability, find ways to work with it. If you're 59 and weigh 300 pounds, focus on hairstyle and color, eyeglasses style, makeup, clothing choices, voice and diction, posture — all the things that make a "package" in your physical presentation.

5. Get over it. Your physical attributes are a part of you, so accept them and move on. This may sound harsh, but think about it: Many 59-year-olds have good jobs. And many overweight people have good jobs. Why shouldn't Mary (or you) be one of them?

The issue of discrimination has to be addressed if I'm to have any credibility. In more than two decades of counseling job-seekers, I have found that workers do face discrimination for age, weight, gender, race, sexual orientation, religion . . . It's real, and it does happen.

That said, I also have discovered that discrimination doesn't happen nearly as often as people believe. It doesn't have to — people hold themselves back in anticipation of it. If you believe you won't get a fair shake because you are older or because you are large, your belief will affect your job search. To protect themselves, people in these situations may contact fewer employers or go into each interview with a protective attitude that keeps employers from warming up to them.

So here's the tough talk: Is it really your weight, age or disability that is holding you back? Or have you ceded your power to this issue? If there is even one other person in the work world who is succeeding with a similar situation, then you know that you can, too. But you'll have to be smarter than those who would keep you down. And you'll have to be honest with yourself: If you're more comfortable with misery than with change, this won't work.

P.S. to Mary: You write a good letter: concise and clear, no errors. As you look at your next steps, consider working with words. I think you can do it.

- Amy Lindgren owns Prototype Career Service, a career consulting firm in St. Paul, Minn. She can be reached at alindgren@prototypecaree rservice.com or at 1071 W. Seventh St., St. Paul, MN 55102.