Q: Our work group plans to start a Sunshine Fund to buy gifts for special occasions, such as birthdays, weddings and baby showers.

One person wants to post a list on the refrigerator showing the dollar amount each employee has contributed. I think that's a horrible suggestion.

How can we do this so that people who can't afford to contribute won't feel obligated or uncomfortable?

A: Even though your intentions are good, I think you should ditch the whole idea. If you already know that some people can't afford to participate, this clearly cannot be a group activity.

Presumably, the Sunshine Fund is designed to enhance team spirit and boost morale. But humiliating those with tight budgets will have the opposite effect, especially if your mean-spirited co-worker decides to advertise contributions.

Some people may not have an extra $10 or $20. Besides, buying presents should not be a mandatory condition of employment, even for those who can afford it.

Instead of soliciting payments for obligatory gifts, mark these events with group celebrations. After all, the goal is to recognize a special moment in someone's life, not just pile on the loot.

For example, everyone might buy funny cards or split the cost of a cake. Those who enjoy baking could bring goodies to share. If some people are especially close to the honored employee, they can give gifts privately.

When a collective gift does seem appropriate, everyone should agree on an affordable purchase.

MARIE G. McINTYRE

OFFICE COACH

Q: My manager frequently talks to one of my co-workers, "Claire," about the performance problems of another employee.

I've told Claire that I think it's inappropriate for our boss to be discussing this other employee with her. Claire says that she doesn't mind and that the manager views her as a good resource.

I believe it is a poor business practice for a boss to talk about one subordinate with another. What do you think?

A: I agree. If your gossipy boss asked my opinion, I'd tell him or her to stop. And if Claire asked my opinion, I'd suggest that she tactfully discourage these confidences.

However, neither of them is asking.

Having registered your views with Claire, your only option is to take the issue to your manager. But if he or she interprets your helpful feedback as personal criticism, you might regret that decision.

Because you are not directly affected by these inappropriate discussions, I suggest that you simply stop fretting about them.

And watch what you say to Claire. Since she's apparently repeating your manager's private comments, she must be quite a chatterbox.

- Marie G. McIntyre is an Atlanta-based workplace coach. Her weekly column is syndicated by Knight Ridder/Tribune News Service. Send questions at www.yourofficecoach.com.