Q: I recently was hired as a manager in a small, family-owned business. I've been having problems with another manager, who happens to be the CEO's son.
I had a long talk with the CEO and gave her some constructive criticism about her son's performance. She made it clear that critiquing him was a big mistake and discussing his performance is off-limits.
Now I feel that I can't say anything about him, even though he's my co-worker. How can I deal with these family dynamics?
A: During your chat about the CEO's son, did you forget that you were talking to his mom? As a manager, she should have listened to your feedback. But her maternal reaction should not have surprised you.
When criticizing family, you must tread carefully. In all likelihood, the son eventually will take over the business. If the CEO suddenly dropped dead, this guy could become your boss tomorrow. So even if he's an idiot, you need to get along with him.
Although his mom didn't listen to your feedback about him, I can guarantee that she's listening to his feedback about you. If he speaks well of you, your life will be easier.
If the combination of business and family drives you completely bonkers, take your talents to a different kind of company.
Q: After making a career change, I am six weeks into a new job at a large health care company. I hope to be promoted to a specific position in the next three years.
I know the importance of good attendance, proper dress, meeting deadlines and so forth. But can you suggest any other smart moves for new employees?
A: Since you have a specific goal, look for opportunities to interact with people who can help you attain it. Get to know them and let them get to know you.
Volunteer for projects that can help you reach your target. Find problems to solve or new ideas to implement. Collaborate with colleagues, and avoid becoming defensive or territorial.
Get along with everyone, even those who are difficult or unpleasant. Master the art of working with people you don't like. Learn how to disagree without being disagreeable.
Be prepared for any encounter with high-level managers. Executives form long-lasting opinions based on brief interactions; impress them with an intelligent business question or an interesting piece of information.
Learn all you can about your new industry. Join your professional association and attend conferences. Network with your counterparts in other companies. As a side benefit, this will provide an address book full of contacts if you ever decide to change jobs.
- Marie G. McIntyre is an Atlanta-based workplace coach. Her weekly column is syndicated by Knight Ridder/Tribune News Service. Send questions at www.yourofficecoach.com.