Q: I work for a boss who is verbally and physically abusive.

Although he hasn't touched me, I have seen him snap other female employees with rubber bands, leaving bruises. He likes to punch the male employees and hit them in the head. He says he's just "playing around."

This is a small company, and the owner is the only other manager. She and my boss are very close, and she relies on him a lot. However, she has no idea about his abusive behavior.

I have started documenting his actions, but I don't know how to tell the owner. I love my work, but this manager is creating a lot of stress.

A: Your sadistic boss is not only an employee relations nightmare but also a huge legal liability. He could be a threat to the business in many ways, so the owner needs to know.

To advise her of the problem, you and your besieged co-workers should meet with her as a group. If she hears the same account from many people, she is more likely to take it seriously.

Give the owner a detailed, factual description of the manager's inappropriate conduct. Then ask that she direct him to cease all physical contact with employees immediately.

In addition, you and your colleagues must stop tolerating this abuse. The next time your boss touches anyone, he should be informed that legally this could be considered battery and that, if he doesn't stop, charges may be filed against him.

If the owner takes no action to end the harassment, start looking for another job. You shouldn't stay in a company where physical violence is considered acceptable.

Q: I am a male employee who has trouble relating to female supervisors and managers. I don't mind them personally, but I resent the way they deal with events in their lives, such as divorces or weddings.

When female managers have some life event going on, they spend lots of time talking with female employees but completely ignore me and the other men. They don't even acknowledge our existence.

I am usually the first person to arrive at the office, but the female managers don't even say "good morning" when they come in. They just start chatting with the other women. How can I keep a positive attitude when I am excluded from their conversations?

A: Sounds like the female version of the good old boys network.

Managers never should create in-groups and out-groups among their employees.

However, many guys would pay good money to avoid detailed feminine discussions about relationships and personal activities. So these women may assume that you simply wouldn't be interested.

If you want to be included in the early-morning chats, don't wait for an invitation. Take the initiative and join the conversation.

Ask how the wedding plans are going or how little Johnny is doing in preschool. Then share a few anecdotes from your life.

Once the gals know you want to participate, I guarantee that you won't be ignored. Eventually, you may wish that you were.

- Marie G. McIntyre is an Atlanta-based workplace coach. Her weekly column is syndicated by Knight Ridder/Tribune News Service. Send questions at www.yourofficecoach.com.