Q: I share an office with two other women. Our male manager always refers to us as "the girls." We have hinted that we are "women" or "ladies," but it hasn't done any good.

We feel it is demeaning. How can we discuss this with him? Should we call him "the boy"?

A: Offensive people are completely immune to subtle suggestions. So all three of you must deliver a clear message to your clueless boss.

For example: "We know you may think this is silly, but as grown women, we really don't like being referred to as 'the girls.' We doubt that you would want your boss calling you 'the boy.' So we would appreciate your saying 'women' or 'ladies' instead."

When he slips up, politely remind him of your request. Or, if he has a sense of humor, say: "Hey, boy! You're calling us girls again."

But if he refuses to change, you may have to let it go. As long as he's a good boss otherwise, just consider him a cultural dinosaur and overlook his comments.

Q: I received a letter of recognition from the vice president of sales in our corporate office. My last name was spelled wrong on it.

When I brought this to my immediate boss's attention, she said she would forward the letter to the vice president and have it corrected. That was a month ago, and I've heard nothing further about it.

This letter would be great to use in future job interviews, but not if it has the wrong name. Should I go to the vice president to tell her she messed up and ask her to fix it?

A: Reprimanding the vice president would be politically insane. However, you are absolutely right to expect a correction.

Your best bet is to ask the vice president's administrative assistant to help you get this fixed. After all, the assistant is probably the one who originally prepared the letter, although not necessarily the one who mangled your name.

Explain that the letter means a great deal to you and that you plan to save it. Don't mention that you're saving it for a job search.

- Marie G. McIntyre is an Atlanta-based workplace coach. Her weekly column is syndicated by Knight Ridder/Tribune News Service. Send questions at www.yourofficecoach.com.